Chapter 15 Broken Dreams
"And yes they'll ask you where you've been, and you'll have to tell them again and again. And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day, And I promise you you'll see the sun again, And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness, And I promise you you'll see the sun again."
"See The Sun" Dido
"Hurry up Xander." Willow barked as she shut the trunk of the car and got into the back seat with Tara. Xander rolled his eyes as he lugged Anya's bag behind him.
"I don't see why we have to stay over anyway. I mean, we only live like five minutes down the road." He mumbled to himself, "Could easily walk there in the morning." He grumbled as he put Anya's bag in the back with Willow.
"Like you'll be up early enough to walk over." Willow scoffed as Anya's bag landed on top of her.
"Anya?" Willow asked as she shoved the bag off her knee into the foot well. The ex-demon turned round in her seat, "You do know we're only staying for one night, right?" Anya nodded emphatically before turning to look out the windscreen again as Xander got in the car.
"I packed for every eventuality. Just in case the real Santa shows up." She smiled to herself as she patted Xander on the thigh, while he gave her a nervous glance, "I'm very excited about this." She announced to the worried occupants of Xander's company car. Willow gave Tara a secret smile, holding her lovers gaze as she tried to contain her own excitement as they pulled away from the kerb.
"We're going to be late." Willow observed.
"It's ok sweetie," Tara reassured, holding her hand, "We'll get there."
Willow frowned as Anya began to rant about Christmas again, not sure if she had ever stopped. Willow turned to look out the car window, watching as someone jogged past with their cat on a leash. She giggled to herself, thinking of the book the Cat in the Hat.
"You're a goldfish." She said to Anya when she eventually stopped to breathe. Anya didn't seem to notice she was being called a goldfish though.
It wasn't long before Willow was bounding up the stairs to a familiar apartment, only turning back to hear Xander call up to her.
"It's ok, we'll get the presents," he said sarcastically as he loaded Tara and Anya up like donkeys.
Willow faltered beside the pond outside apartment 4b on 213 Oak Street as she noticed the dead goldfish there, floating in the evening twilight. When had it gotten so dark? She rapped on the door briefly as it opened almost immediately, revealing a haggard looking man she didn't recognise. He raised his thin face to look at her.
"Willow?" she frowned at the figure before her.
"Who are you?" she asked hesitantly, searching the moss green depths for some sign that she knew him.
"You used to know me so well." He said reaching a hand out towards the red head.
"Willow?" Willow blinked in the sun as Giles waved a hand in front of her face, "Are you coming in?" she nodded, not trusting her voice as she followed Giles into his apartment.
"Auntie Willow!" Willow swept the little girl off her feet, swinging her round in the air.
"How's my favourite niece?" she asked the smiling face as she held the little girl close to her as she giggled.
"How can I be your favourite if I'm your only niece Auntie Willow?" Willow laughed with the little girl now.
"I can't outsmart you can I?" she said as she lowered the little girl to the ground.
"Nope." She said, continuing to smile.
"Come play. Auntie Dawn, Daddy, and me are drawing." She said, grabbing the red head's hand, "Daddy's not very good though."
"Cheeky monkey." Giles said, tickling his daughter as she giggled in glee while he chased her before picking her up into his arms, "But I think it's time you washed up for dinner." He said, kissing her on the forehead before putting her back down.
"Ok." She said before running off down the hall.
"Elizabeth. Tell your Auntie Dawn dinner's ready too."
"Ok." She called again as Willow watched Giles go into the kitchen and join Aura.
"Presents are safely hidden on the roof." Xander announced as he entered the room, Anya and Tara following, "What's for dinner?" he asked as he sat down at the table.
"We don't have time to eat, because someone was too late." Giles said sternly, causing Willow to turn and look at him in the dark room. His face catching the light coming from the windows, making him look ill.
"This isn't how it's supposed to be." Willow commented, looking round the empty and cold apartment that looked like nothing more than a burnt out shell. She noticed the familiar blonde head of Buffy cowering in the corner, crying, "We need to sort this." She commanded, but got no reply, "Giles?" she turned back but he was gone, and she wasn't in his old apartment anymore, "Giles?" thunder cracked overhead before it started to pour down and she started to run up the hill in search of shelter and Giles. She tripped and fell in the mud, turning as she heard footsteps approach.
"You fell." She looked up into Giles soft green eyes. He reached out a hand, pulling her to her feet. He pointed down to the road at the bottom of the hill, "I'm going over there."
"No, Giles. You have to stay here." Giles frowned at the red head before looking up into the sky. Willow followed his gaze."But the world's ending here." He looked back down at the red head before his eyes fell on the gravestone behind her, the name Rupert Giles prominent on it, "You have to trust me." He said softly, "This is the way things work." He turned from her and headed back down the hill, disappearing from the red head's sight."Giles!"
Willow awoke with a start, Giles name still on her lips as she found herself alone on the couch in the living room. She heard footsteps coming towards her before the slight frame of the younger Summers appeared in the door.
"Bad dream?" Dawn asked the red head as Willow sat up, beckoning Dawn to come sit down next to her. Willow thought for a moment as Dawn curled up on the couch next to her, remembering the dream she had just had.
"No, It wasn't."
"I thought maybe, since you screamed..."
"No, it was good." A hint of a smile played on Willow's face now, "Is Buffy back yet?" She felt Dawn shrink away from her at he mention of his sister's name.
"Not yet."
Buffy found herself staring uncomfortably at her feet for a long moment as Giles peeled his hand from the window and the grating it had been so tightly wrapped round he had left small drops of blood on the windowsill as he stumbled towards the bed. She was beside him in an instant, helping to sit back on the bed.
"Are you supposed to be out of bed already?" she asked softly, remembering how ill he had looked only yesterday. She found the empty depths of his eyes looking into her own. Aura was right; he was no longer in there. She got no answer and didn't press any further as she noticed his hand, "Giles, what did you do?" This time he replied, but not to the question she asked.
"I tried to catch you." Buffy continued to inspect his hand, letting him talk, not sure of where this was going, "Every time I tried to catch you, and every time I watched you fall." He pulled his hand away from her sharply, "Buffy you have to understand. I didn't mean for this to happen, I didn't mean for you..." He reached his bloody hand towards her pale cheek but caught himself at the last moment, uncertain whether to touch her or not. If she were dead his hand would pass right through her and this was all real, it had all happened, but if he touched her and she was really there then was he really insane? Had he really just imagined the last few years?
He closed his hand into a fist staring into her blue eyes for a long moment as she looked back, shocked, almost terrified he thought, and it pained him to realise he was the one causing such terror within the young woman whom had been his charge and, in a way, his daughter. He turned away from her.
"You're not real." He whispered through clenched teeth, "You can't be, because if you are then you never died and if you never died, then..." he gritted his teeth before slamming his fist into the wall, causing Buffy to react, not sure whether to shout at him or cry.
"Giles," she said softly, pausing as she thought things through before she spoke again, "I need you to listen to me."