This is what happens when you spend a lot of time at Deleterius. This parody is written with sincerest apologies to the late great J.R.R. Tolkien.
The Song of Mary Sue
by The Happy Potato
A Mary Sue
there was of old,
A princess, so they say:
Her skimpy dress
could barely hold
Her D-cup chest at bay.
Her valiant hair
was raven-black,
It floated on the wind;
It fell cascading down
her back
And at her waist did end.
Her lovely orbs shone
like the stars,
Her pale skin like the moon.
And if you can
still stand the farce,
She sang a punk-rock tune.
Upon a
horse of milky white
She came to Rivendell.
She soon had Leggy
in her sight
And worked to weave her spell.
Poor Legolas
knew not what passed
And with her became smitten.
For she on
him her spell had cast
And he followed like a kitten.
Then
as the Council almost passed,
She offered up her bow.
The tale
of Ten was all but cast
When Boromir said "No!
"What
devilry has you all blind?
She's certainly a witch.
She has
possession of your mind
And making you her bitch."
"Well,
you are just a stupid bloke,
A sexist pig," she said.
But
then he reached into his cloak
And then he sporked her dead.
And
as she died, a change was wrought;
The rest awoke surprised.
They
had recovered from her rot,
Her legend now despised.