Gonna edit all of the chapters soon.

I think my writing's a little too choppy

Again, thanks for the reviews. (btw Annachan- I couldn't make Tsunade get implants at 6, so I wrote down cotton instead. )

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Dolphin Noises

Iruka was sitting quietly in the teacher's lounge grading tests, when he heard some rather unusual noises from outside the window. Something that particularly sounded like:

"EARARARARARARGH!!!!!!"

Setting down his paperwork, Iruka sighed, this wasn't exactly the first time this incident had happened to him. Why during his years at the academy he was the butt of most "Free Willy" and "Flipper" jokes among the other students. And alas it didn't stop there when he became a teacher. In fact, his students had dubbed him "the fish" even though dolphins aren't really related to fish in the sense that spiders aren't related to bugs.

But anyway, the point was that Iruka had had enough, and felt that it was unjust that everyone kept either mislabeling him as a sea creature or making those ear-splitting dolphin cries whenever he approached them. It was just not fair!!! Kakashi was a scarecrow, but do they make any lame Wizard of Oz jokes about him? Nooooooooooooo!!!! But then again, Kakashi didn't really pay attention to anything, which was no fun in the eyes of the teasers.

Poking his head out the window, Iruka was about to give the person a piece of his mind when he spotted a piece of paper on the ground. "A letter?" Iruka puzzled, "I guess the perpetrator, was trying to attract my attention. Irksome, but it sure got me."

And it read:

Dear Mr. Dolphin Man Scarfaced Pervert Sensei,

If you value your precious and charmingly handsome Naruto who is destined to become a Hokage one day, report alone to the Konoha BookStore at 5pm with 6 boxes of Ramen. No less, but you could bring more if you want!!

Ahem, anyway, if you fail to comply with these regulations we will immediately kill him. That's right!!! Killlll himmmmm!!!!! And auction his Kyubi on e-bay. Now we wouldn't want that now do we? And if you don't believe in this kidnapping ploy, please reconsider by looking at these photos of you at last year's Christmas party.

Sincerely,

Mr. Orange Speedos X

P.S. Oh yes, by the way, after the deal has been successfully completed, I suggest you take Naruto out for Ramen since this kidnapping might have had some traumatic effects on him.

P.P.S This letter will self destruct in 5 seconds courtesy of the exploding tag pasted on the back.

And on cue: BANG!!!!!! The letter exploded.

Iruka, crumpled the remains of the letter in his singed hand and face faulted. In Naruto's attempt to be Yakuza like as possible, attaching an exploding note wasn't exactly the best idea, especially when he had forgotten the blackmail photos were attached to it. Well, at least Iruka didn't have to worry about that anymore.

After tossing the remains of the incinerated letter in the trash, Iruka continued grading paperwork, while trying to sort out the letter business in his mind. He eventually came to a certain conclusion that Naruto had run out of welfare again, thus "asking" for a substantial amount that would have probably lasted for a couple of days in his case. Yes, that was probably it.

Being the adult he was, when 5 o'clock rolled around Iruka waited around the new construction site of the Konoha bookstore, impatiently tapping his foot. 6 o'clock was nearly rolling around when Iruka decided that "Mr. Orange Speedos X" er...Naruto wasn't going to show up after all, and this had all been a trick to further humiliate him.

Plus why in the Hokage's name did he even consider choosing "Mr. Orange Speedos X" as a pseudonym? The world may never know. As Iruka pondered about this though, another canister had again flew out of no where in particular and hit him on the head.

Opening it, he found another note to him from "Mr. Orange Speedos X" stating:

You Idiot!!!

You forgot the ransom, how could you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No Matter though, for we have decided to give you another chance! Report to Warehouse 5 behind training area 42 at 7:00pm alone. We will negotiate a reasonable price as I have noticed that you value your precious Naruto verrrrrrrrrrrrry veryy much even though you would risk your life to rescue him rather than PAYING IN RAMEN!!!!

Anyway, seeya

Mr. Orange Speedos X

Iruka sighed again and started to head for the training areas, escorted by Anko, who had the keys. He had explained the situation to Anko who happily complied seeing that there was going to be free food involved.

"SO, WHAT'S HE UP TO THIS TIME?" asked Anko skipping alongside Iruka swinging the keys round and round.

"Uh....I think he overspent his welfare money again..." Iruka laughed and scratched the back of his head, "kids these days."

"OH YEHHHHHH!!! So full of energy, yet so dense— Owww!" Anko had skipped into a tree

Iruka facefaulted and helped her out.

"YOSHHHHhh we're HEEEEEEEEEEEREEe!!" Cried a happy Anko as she opened the gate, "Now we can go in and give him a piece of our mind!!!" She marched in with Iruka trailing in the back sweatdropping.

The two went to the warehouse that "Mr. Orange Speedos X" depicted in the letter and waited. Anko had pulled out some sausages and was trying to cook them by attaching exploding notes to them, but she kinda overdid it, resulting in half of the wall being blown away.

As Anko pouted over the sausages Iruka wandered over to the back of the building. It was now 7:30. Naruto probably got lost or something.

"Ano....Anko-san?"

"My liddle sausagesssssss.........YES??? WHAT IS IT? DID YOU FIND HIM?"

"I think he might have got lost..."

"LOST? PSHH!!! All the training grounds are in a line, its impossible to get lost here, unless you're linearly challenged and can't tell find the end of a straight line!!!!"

"....yeh, that's Naruto all right"

"...YOSH!!!! Gather a jounin search party....NO better yet, a jounin army!!!!!!!!! Search the forests, seas, and the deserts!!!! Hold the other kages for ransom until they help us find Naruto!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look in every nook and cranny, and if all else fails.....search the alternate dimensions!!!!!!!!!! CUZ Baby there Ain't no MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGHHHhhhhhh!!!!!!! Ain't no VALLEYyyyyyy LOWW enoughhhhhhh!!!! Ain't No RIVERRRRRRRR WIDEEEEEEEE ENOUGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! TO Keep Me FROm FINDING NARUTOOOOOOO YEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Anko punched the air and striked a pose with the sunset in the backround.

A moment later she was on the ground sucking her thumb. Iruka quickly discarded the needle. After Anko had become a jounin, most of the village people were required to carry sedatives with them in case...well....if this happened.

At the same time however the door to the warehouse opened and out jumped....

"SURPRISEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Naruto!!!!! Amidst Naruto was a whole crew of jounin dressed as sea creatures singing the Flipper theme song!!!

Iruka just gaped.

"I figured, today was the anniversary of when we became friends, so I got us tickets to Water Country's SEA WORLDD!!!!!!!!" Naruto shouted waving 2 tickets in the air. "And uh....I kinda spent my week's worth of welfare on these so that's why I asked for the Ramen..."

Iruka scratched the back of his head, "Ah.....Thanks for the present Naruto!!!! And don't worry about the Ramen...I'll drop some off at your apartment tomorrow."

Naruto's eyes watered as they both launched into a touchy moment, so let us fast fowardddddddddd to.................SEA WORLDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Iruka was shaking hands with one of the dolphins as he turned to Naruto. "Say, about those blackmail photos, they kinda disintegrated when you put the exploding note on the back..."

Naruto shrugged, "Awww...that's ok Iruka-sensei those weren't my only photos!!"

"Whhhy you little...." Iruka was about to lunge at him when one of the dolphins jumped up crying "EARARARARARARAGH!!!!" and slapped him on the back of the head causing him to fall in the water.

Naruto and the dolphin high fived.

EARARARARARARARARARARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol, I don't know how to put that dolphin sound in words so yeh....forgive me. I'm sorry for not updating the past few weeks, but I had school work so yeh...horrible. Anyway, don't expect the next chappies too soon, plus I feel like working on other stories too. So cya and happy reading.