Hogwarts: Muggle Style
By WeasleyGirl and Rhiannon
~*~
Disclaimer: We own the new characters, which was probably an obvious, apparently, and the idea, which is totally wacky. That's it, pity we don't own Sean, or Tom . . .
A/N: Oy, Mountain Dew is bad for us. But, we drink it anyway, just for you, our lovely readers. Anyway, we were watching Harry 1, and this idea struck us in the face. Bear with us, it's a wee bit crazy/insane/far fetched but . . . whatever! Enjoy!
~*~
"Oy, Kylie! Help me with this!" called Wesleigh, a young 17-year-old British girl.
"Coming!" Kylie called back, pulling back her long blonde hair into a ponytail.
The two 17 year olds were on a "field trip" with their boarding school. It was a sort of "community service" thingy where they had to pick up trash and stuff. Nasty job that.
Their school was located on the outskirts of London, so they were cleaning up one of the side highways. They had already been working for a couple hours and it was beginning to grow dark.
Kylie and Wes, as she is known by her friends, got a good grip on the battered old tire Wes had found in the weeds. Suddenly, they felt a weird pulling sensation in their bellybuttons. Wes shot Kylie and very nervous look.
The world was spinning around them in a flash of colors. Both were feeling a bit sick, so they closed their eyes, which of course only made it worse.
BAM
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" cried Wes.
"OOF!" said a male voice.
Both girls had been thrown into the air in a very strange place. Kylie, the lucky girl, had been caught by some guy who looked to be in his early twenties. Very early twenties.
Wes, the unlucky one in most situations including this one, fell on the ground on her bum, hard. Hence the "ow"'s.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."
"Oh, hello there," said Kylie dreamily as she looked up into the face of the cute stranger.
"Hello," he said back with a Scottish accent.
"Well, then, you can put me down now," Kylie told him. He did and she quickly ran over to Wes to help her up.
"Thank you," said Wes, standing up and rubbing her bum.
"Who are you?" asked the very confused, yet very cute, stranger.
"Erm, I'm Wes, and this is Kylie," Wes explained. "Who are you?"
"Never mind that," said Kylie, a bit angrily, "Where the devil are we?!"
"You're, erm, in Hogsmeade," the stranger replied.
"Huh?"
"Where?"
"And my name," he continued, ignoring their confused looks and words, "is Oliver Wood."
"But. . .but. . ." stammered Wes.
"What's Hogsmeade?" asked Kylie. "And how did we get here?"
Oliver looked around and noticed the dirty tire. "Well, I was going to ask you the same thing, but I guess you used a Portkey."
"What's that?"
"What do you mean what's that? You used one!"
"So! It doesn't mean we know what it is!" exclaimed Wes, angrily.
"Why don't you tell me what happened, okay?" Oliver said soothingly.
So they told this Oliver Wool everything that had happened.
"I better take you to Professor Dumbledore. He'll know what to do," said Oliver.
"Thank you for catching me, by the way," said Kylie, as they walked through Hogsmeade.
Wes walks ahead of the other two, marveling at the sights and sounds of Hogwarts.
As the three walk up the grounds, Kylie and Wes start freaking out about EVERYTHING!
"That castle is humongous."
"Did that tree move? I swear I saw it move, I mean really move!"
Uhh.. Wes, I saw a tentacle in that lake."
"What's with those hoops over there in that pitch? They're really high. And the stands are raised so . . . high! Do you play some sort of sport on stilts?"
"Really BIG stilts?" added Kylie.
"What are stilts?" asked Oliver.
Kylie and Wes gave each a look as if saying, "Who is this guy?"
Oliver had walked ahead a bit but turned back to say, "Come on!"
"I really don't think that we should have signed up for that field trip," whispered Kylie to Wes. Wes nodded.
"Follow closely!" Oliver called back to them.
Oliver opened the doors to the Great Hall and walked inside.
Wes and Kylie followed a bit nervously.
"Professor Dumbledore!" bellowed Oliver, "I need to speak with you!"
Every student seated in the hall looked up in curiosity. When they noticed Kylie and Wes, they broke out laughing.
Professor Dumbledore, wearing a slightly odd expression, escorted Oliver, Kylie and Wes out of the Great Hall and to his office.
"Tell me how, exactly, you came to be here." He said to them.
"Well," began Wes, "About 19 years ago, my mum was over where my dad worked because her brother was being interrogated because he was doing naughty things. That's what my dad did, and still does actually. Anyway, my mum was trying to see my uncle but she met up with my dad first. I guess it was love at first sight or something but anyway, they began dating and a few months later got married. Well they did it, you know, and my mum got pregnant with me. I was born on Nov 17, 17 years ago. I grew up, obviously, and went to a boarding school in London, actually, its on the outskirts of London and me and Kylie here went and signed up for this field trip thingy because Katherine said it would be fun because we would be working with the boys from the Juvenile Delinquent Center, which would be wicked, I LOVE bad boys, but they didn't show, bugger, and it was just us girls and it wasn't any fun. And me and Kylie went and picked up this tire and were whooshed out to a townish place, which Oliver called Hogsmeade and I fell on my bum while Ollie, can I call you Ollie? Great, caught Kylie and then he took us to that room with all the kids and now we're here. And, um, there was this guy I saw and he was drop dead gorgeous! He had really blonde hair and was at the far table on the left. Do you know who he is? But anyway that's how we got here."
"Well," said Dumbledore, "That was a wee bit more information than I wanted to now. Nonetheless, the question is, what should we do with you?"
"Keep us here?" suggested Wes, smiling brilliantly and winningly, enough to rival even Lockhart.
"The thing is sir, we didn't ask to get dropped here," ("Yeah, dropped," added Wes, "On my bum, mind you, it hurt.") "I mean, it's not our fault, so you can't punish us." "Right?" Kylie and Wes asked tentatively.
"No, I'm not going to punish you, I'm going to just take you back to where you belong," responded Dumbledore, kindishly.
"When?" asked Kylie.
"Tomorrow. Its late, you need sleep."
"No," responded Wes. "We need food!!!!!!" Kylie nodded in agreement.
"Well, we'll send you back to the Great Hall to eat!" said Dumbledore.
"And where shall they sleep?" asked Oliver.
"Ah," thought Dumbledore. "I believe that there are some empty beds in the 7th year Gryffindor dormitory. Now lets get back to the feast."
When they re-entered the Great Hall, Wes and Kylie were ushered to seats at the Gryffindor table as Oliver and Dumbledore went to sit at the teacher's table. Dumbledore stood and the hall quieted.
"As you all are aware, there are two new faces in the hall. These girls are Muggles."
"Wait a minute, wait, what are Muggles? I want to know if I am one." Wes interrupted.
"You're not a witch or wizard," said Hermione.
"HUH?" Wes said.
"You don't belong here!!!!!" shouted Draco, the boy Wes had seen earlier.
"Actually, Mr. Malfoy, as of tomorrow, we will know if they do in fact belong here." Said Dumbledore.
"But . . . but. . . but . . ." said Draco.
Kylie stands and says, "Can we please get on with it!!!!!! We're hungry!!!!! It's been a really really really confusing day!!!!!"
"I second that," said Wes.
"Very well, let the feast begin." Exclaimed Dumbledore.
The tables of the Great Hall filled instantly with food.
"Uhh. . . where did all the food come from?" asked Wes, "Will it bite?"
Harry Potter snorted and said, "Food doesn't bite you, you bite it!"
"Well, were are somewhere else, where exactly, we don't know and she is a bit off on normal days," explained Kylie.
"That's an understatement!" said Wes cheerfully.
By WeasleyGirl and Rhiannon
~*~
Disclaimer: We own the new characters, which was probably an obvious, apparently, and the idea, which is totally wacky. That's it, pity we don't own Sean, or Tom . . .
A/N: Oy, Mountain Dew is bad for us. But, we drink it anyway, just for you, our lovely readers. Anyway, we were watching Harry 1, and this idea struck us in the face. Bear with us, it's a wee bit crazy/insane/far fetched but . . . whatever! Enjoy!
~*~
"Oy, Kylie! Help me with this!" called Wesleigh, a young 17-year-old British girl.
"Coming!" Kylie called back, pulling back her long blonde hair into a ponytail.
The two 17 year olds were on a "field trip" with their boarding school. It was a sort of "community service" thingy where they had to pick up trash and stuff. Nasty job that.
Their school was located on the outskirts of London, so they were cleaning up one of the side highways. They had already been working for a couple hours and it was beginning to grow dark.
Kylie and Wes, as she is known by her friends, got a good grip on the battered old tire Wes had found in the weeds. Suddenly, they felt a weird pulling sensation in their bellybuttons. Wes shot Kylie and very nervous look.
The world was spinning around them in a flash of colors. Both were feeling a bit sick, so they closed their eyes, which of course only made it worse.
BAM
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" cried Wes.
"OOF!" said a male voice.
Both girls had been thrown into the air in a very strange place. Kylie, the lucky girl, had been caught by some guy who looked to be in his early twenties. Very early twenties.
Wes, the unlucky one in most situations including this one, fell on the ground on her bum, hard. Hence the "ow"'s.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."
"Oh, hello there," said Kylie dreamily as she looked up into the face of the cute stranger.
"Hello," he said back with a Scottish accent.
"Well, then, you can put me down now," Kylie told him. He did and she quickly ran over to Wes to help her up.
"Thank you," said Wes, standing up and rubbing her bum.
"Who are you?" asked the very confused, yet very cute, stranger.
"Erm, I'm Wes, and this is Kylie," Wes explained. "Who are you?"
"Never mind that," said Kylie, a bit angrily, "Where the devil are we?!"
"You're, erm, in Hogsmeade," the stranger replied.
"Huh?"
"Where?"
"And my name," he continued, ignoring their confused looks and words, "is Oliver Wood."
"But. . .but. . ." stammered Wes.
"What's Hogsmeade?" asked Kylie. "And how did we get here?"
Oliver looked around and noticed the dirty tire. "Well, I was going to ask you the same thing, but I guess you used a Portkey."
"What's that?"
"What do you mean what's that? You used one!"
"So! It doesn't mean we know what it is!" exclaimed Wes, angrily.
"Why don't you tell me what happened, okay?" Oliver said soothingly.
So they told this Oliver Wool everything that had happened.
"I better take you to Professor Dumbledore. He'll know what to do," said Oliver.
"Thank you for catching me, by the way," said Kylie, as they walked through Hogsmeade.
Wes walks ahead of the other two, marveling at the sights and sounds of Hogwarts.
As the three walk up the grounds, Kylie and Wes start freaking out about EVERYTHING!
"That castle is humongous."
"Did that tree move? I swear I saw it move, I mean really move!"
Uhh.. Wes, I saw a tentacle in that lake."
"What's with those hoops over there in that pitch? They're really high. And the stands are raised so . . . high! Do you play some sort of sport on stilts?"
"Really BIG stilts?" added Kylie.
"What are stilts?" asked Oliver.
Kylie and Wes gave each a look as if saying, "Who is this guy?"
Oliver had walked ahead a bit but turned back to say, "Come on!"
"I really don't think that we should have signed up for that field trip," whispered Kylie to Wes. Wes nodded.
"Follow closely!" Oliver called back to them.
Oliver opened the doors to the Great Hall and walked inside.
Wes and Kylie followed a bit nervously.
"Professor Dumbledore!" bellowed Oliver, "I need to speak with you!"
Every student seated in the hall looked up in curiosity. When they noticed Kylie and Wes, they broke out laughing.
Professor Dumbledore, wearing a slightly odd expression, escorted Oliver, Kylie and Wes out of the Great Hall and to his office.
"Tell me how, exactly, you came to be here." He said to them.
"Well," began Wes, "About 19 years ago, my mum was over where my dad worked because her brother was being interrogated because he was doing naughty things. That's what my dad did, and still does actually. Anyway, my mum was trying to see my uncle but she met up with my dad first. I guess it was love at first sight or something but anyway, they began dating and a few months later got married. Well they did it, you know, and my mum got pregnant with me. I was born on Nov 17, 17 years ago. I grew up, obviously, and went to a boarding school in London, actually, its on the outskirts of London and me and Kylie here went and signed up for this field trip thingy because Katherine said it would be fun because we would be working with the boys from the Juvenile Delinquent Center, which would be wicked, I LOVE bad boys, but they didn't show, bugger, and it was just us girls and it wasn't any fun. And me and Kylie went and picked up this tire and were whooshed out to a townish place, which Oliver called Hogsmeade and I fell on my bum while Ollie, can I call you Ollie? Great, caught Kylie and then he took us to that room with all the kids and now we're here. And, um, there was this guy I saw and he was drop dead gorgeous! He had really blonde hair and was at the far table on the left. Do you know who he is? But anyway that's how we got here."
"Well," said Dumbledore, "That was a wee bit more information than I wanted to now. Nonetheless, the question is, what should we do with you?"
"Keep us here?" suggested Wes, smiling brilliantly and winningly, enough to rival even Lockhart.
"The thing is sir, we didn't ask to get dropped here," ("Yeah, dropped," added Wes, "On my bum, mind you, it hurt.") "I mean, it's not our fault, so you can't punish us." "Right?" Kylie and Wes asked tentatively.
"No, I'm not going to punish you, I'm going to just take you back to where you belong," responded Dumbledore, kindishly.
"When?" asked Kylie.
"Tomorrow. Its late, you need sleep."
"No," responded Wes. "We need food!!!!!!" Kylie nodded in agreement.
"Well, we'll send you back to the Great Hall to eat!" said Dumbledore.
"And where shall they sleep?" asked Oliver.
"Ah," thought Dumbledore. "I believe that there are some empty beds in the 7th year Gryffindor dormitory. Now lets get back to the feast."
When they re-entered the Great Hall, Wes and Kylie were ushered to seats at the Gryffindor table as Oliver and Dumbledore went to sit at the teacher's table. Dumbledore stood and the hall quieted.
"As you all are aware, there are two new faces in the hall. These girls are Muggles."
"Wait a minute, wait, what are Muggles? I want to know if I am one." Wes interrupted.
"You're not a witch or wizard," said Hermione.
"HUH?" Wes said.
"You don't belong here!!!!!" shouted Draco, the boy Wes had seen earlier.
"Actually, Mr. Malfoy, as of tomorrow, we will know if they do in fact belong here." Said Dumbledore.
"But . . . but. . . but . . ." said Draco.
Kylie stands and says, "Can we please get on with it!!!!!! We're hungry!!!!! It's been a really really really confusing day!!!!!"
"I second that," said Wes.
"Very well, let the feast begin." Exclaimed Dumbledore.
The tables of the Great Hall filled instantly with food.
"Uhh. . . where did all the food come from?" asked Wes, "Will it bite?"
Harry Potter snorted and said, "Food doesn't bite you, you bite it!"
"Well, were are somewhere else, where exactly, we don't know and she is a bit off on normal days," explained Kylie.
"That's an understatement!" said Wes cheerfully.