Me: Hey look!! I'm getting off my lazy, creatively chaleneged ass and updating this thing…
Brigs: After jut how long again?
Me: Uh… I think I started a week after my birthday.
Tala: It took you a whole month…
Me: Did not!!! It only took three weeks.
All: -__-;;;
Me: Don't look at me like that!!! Here, let's just get this posted and done with, K?
Tala: Fine, *sighs* Angevar would like to thank russel, Arashi Doragon, Hades of Hades, Silvery Kitsune, Rumi-Chan and Hioki.
Me: BTW, Timmy's B-day was in January Rumi, and she's three months older than me, but I'm still two yeas ahead of her in school… @~@ How weird is that? And to all the rest of you, thanx for the reviews, and no, the story lives, it just moves along a little slowly, that's all… ^^ (PS: *hands Hades a hankie* there, now you have something to blow your nose on while waiting for my next update… ^^)
Brigs: And just so you know, CP is still in counseling… thus the evident lack of fluff in this chapter.
Me: Standard warnings and disclaimers apply… (aka: SEE THE FIRST CHAPTER DUMBASS!!!)
~*~*~
My December, Chapter Three
By Angevar
(Sunday, May 02, 2004)
Last time:
Rei let himself in over the gate, walked up to the front door and rang the bell a couple of times, glaring up at the security camera to be sure the occupant knew it was him. After about thirty or forty seconds, the door was opened for him and he entered the house, shucking off his jacket and hanging it up on the coat rack. An icy voice from behind him made him turn to face the speaker. Cold claret eyes faced him and Rei mentally prepared himself for what was to follow.
"What the hell are you doing here Kon?"
Now:
Rei glared harshly at the speaker, golden amber eyes filled with unusual cold determination. "I came to straighten out your mess Hiwatari, that's what." Kai raised an inquiring eyebrow and started to say something, but Rei cut him off abruptly. "I am not doing this for you, or myself, but I'm doing it because I can't stand seeing what you did to Takao…"
Kai considered his words for a minute and turned to walk out of the hallway, gesturing for Rei to follow him. Rei did so, and the young Hiwatari heir led him to a modestly furnished (well, for the head of an international bio-technology company…) living room. Kai went to stand by one of the large floor-to-ceiling windows that were spaced along one wall and Rei sat down on a sofa to wait.
After about fifteen minutes of silence, Rei started getting a little impatient and began fidgeting. Kai noticed and turned slowly to face the black-haired Chinese man. Rei glared forcefully at him.
"So, I take it I'm not missed?" Kai asked, picking up a small crystal ball and rolling it around in his palm. It was a nervous habit he had picked up since the incident and it seemed to help him remain focused.
"For the most part, no… you aren't missed at all Hiwatari." Rei replied.
"For the most part?" Kai asked, gazing absentmindedly out the window to the steadily falling snow. "So, who does miss me?"
"Takao." Rei stated quietly. "He doesn't show it, doesn't speak about it but he misses you a lot, even after what you did." Kai was almost taken aback by the venom in Rei's voice. "Maybe you haven't seen him around a lot recently Kai, but he's barely hanging on anymore."
"Oh, onto first-name terms now Rei?" Kai asked mockingly, keeping his composure well despite his inner feelings.
"Shut the fuck up and let me finish talking Kai!" Rei rose abruptly to his feet and faced Kai eye-to-eye. "Do you even remember what Takao used to be like? Yeah, you do, he was always smiling, always talking, always the annoying, funny, irrepressible Takao." Rei's gaze hardened. "Do you know what he's like now?"
Kai didn't answer, waiting for Rei to continue.
"He doesn't talk to people anymore Kai! He goes out for long walks at night and comes back looking like a zombie! He doesn't go out to be with people, doesn't tell jokes and doesn't even eat!" Rei's frame shook with increasing rage with each passing sentence. "Max and I have to force him to go to bed at night; all he does is stare out the window, watching the snow fall! I don't think he even pays attention to the world around him anymore Kai!!"
Kai merely kept looking at Rei, looking completely undisturbed by the news.
"Kai, it goes against my better judgment to call you human right now, but if you feel anything after this, I hope you figure out how to straighten this whole mess out soon, because I don't want to see my friend waste away over a cold, worthless bastard like you." Rei dragged the words out, pronouncing them sharply and giving Kai a glare that would have done the recipient proud before turning to leave the Hiwatari manor. "And you'd better sort this out quickly, because I don't know how long Takao is going to last…"
Kai waited until he was sure that Rei had left and then sat down heavily on the couch, trying to sort out the turbulent thoughts racing through his mind.
He couldn't have affected Takao that badly… could he? No, Takao was strong, Takao was the sort of person who took a hit and kept on going…
But what happens when he finally stops and feels the pain?
Kai got up and casually replaced the crystal ball in a bowl on the coffee table as he left the room. He didn't notice, but as he left, the crystal ball slipped out of the bowl and rolled off the table. It didn't shatter when it hit the floor, but a strange mosaic of cracks appeared, and if someone were to accidentally touch it, it could very well break.
~*~*~
Kai made his way upstairs, through the ornate double doors into the master bedroom. He went into the bathroom and placed his hands on the cold black marble of the counter.
Why oh why was it so hard to sort things out in his head?
He gripped the edge of the counter, knuckles paling slightly, and looked at his reflection. He was Kai Hiwatari, rich, successful nineteen-year-old owner of a large company. Tall, alluring, attractive to both men and women and with a calm, collected expression. He let his head drop down again to hang off his shoulders.
Why did it feel so wrong then?
He sighed and got into the shower, letting the warm water flow off of him in a steady stream. He closed his eyes and stood there for a long time, thinking about what Rei had said to him downstairs. Had he really caused that much grief?
Kai found it hard to believe, after living so many months as the cold, practiced machine he had trained himself to be. He almost laughed at the idea, they didn't need him, and he didn't need them… plain and simple. Friends were a weakness that could be easily exploited by enemies, so the solution was simple, have no friends.
Kai sighed softly, blowing droplets of water against the side of the shower. Maybe if he kept on telling himself that he'd believe it someday…
He turned the water off and got out, toweling himself off and running a hand through his thick slate-grey bangs. Why did he keep trying to convince himself of that? Deep down he had known it was a lie all along, but somehow he knew it now. Knew it in every sick, twisted detail for the lie it truly was. He pulled on a loose t-shirt and a pair of shorts, running a hand wearily through his hair again. When would he be able to stop lying to himself?
He sat down on the edge of the king-sized bed, absent-mindedly smoothing the wrinkles in the deep maroon bed covers. Once again, he stared out the window, watching the silent, tiny ice-crystals float down from the heavens. As he watched them drift down he let his hand stray over to the side of the bed and flipped the light switch, turning off the golden glow emanating from the lights around the room. He rolled over onto his side and slid under the covers, wishing that they weren't so cold and empty as he turned over, trying to get more comfortable.
For some reason, he had been having trouble sleeping recently, as if he was missing some part of his routine that he couldn't go to sleep without completing… he knew it was just foolishness, but there was still a part of him that kept trying to tell him something.
As he closed his eyes, searching vainly for the blank peacefulness of sleep, his mind wandered over the possibilities concerning Takao. Had he really fucked things up like Rei said he had? Was Takao really doing that badly? Had he really had that bad of an effect upon him when he had thrown him roughly out of his life like that?
When sleep finally came, it was fitful, and uneasy, dotted with wisps of thought that might have been dreams, but were too vague to be even those. When Kai finally did fall into something resembling a state of peace, it was less than an hour till dawn and the sky was tinted pale indigo.
~*~*~
When Rei arrived back at the Kinomiya dojo, he found that Kyojyu and Max had cleared up the dishes already and were sitting and talking quietly in the living room. He hung is coat up on one of the pegs in the hallway and went to join them.
"So, anything happen while I was out? he asked, sitting down next to Max on the couch.
"Where did you go first of all?" Kyojyu asked, leaning on the armrest of his chair and looking intently at Rei.
"To go talk to Kai." Rei replied.
"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Max asked. "I don't think bringing him back into this is a good idea Rei."
"I know Max-kun, but I don't think anything else has any chance of working." Rei said, sighing regretfully as he kissed the top of Max's head. "Maybe if we had tried sooner we could have done something, but right now I think Kai is our only real option. You said it yourself earlier, if we can get Kai to even talk to him without hurting him he'll probably start to get better."
"Yeah, but like Kyojyu said." Max replied "It's not like Kai cares anymore…"
"I think he does Maxie," Rei said, gazing out the window to watch the snowflakes fall through the inky blackness. "More than he knows or wants to, but he does care…"
"How do you know?" Kyojyu asked, tilting his head curiously.
"Because he has to care an awful lot to let that damn mask of his slip." Rei said bitterly. "It wasn't much, but I know Kai still cares, no matter how much he's lying to himself…" he sighed again and glanced towards the staircase "Has Takao done anything while I was out?"
"No," Kyojyu shook his head slowly, gazing sadly up at where his friend had cut himself off from the world. "He just sits up there the whole time… he doesn't even come down during the day like he used to…"
Max snuggled closer to Rei, holding onto him for comfort and security "I hope you're right about Kai, Rei… I really hope you're right." Rei stroked Max's back soothingly and kissed him lightly again.
"I'd better be…"
~*~*~
Takao lay on his bed, above the covers, staring at the ceiling. He didn't try falling asleep, he couldn't. All he could do was lie back and stare at the ceiling, letting his consciousness drift between dream and reality without really falling asleep.
He hadn't slept properly in a while, he didn't know since when, just that he no longer seemed to need sleep, so he just let his mind drift, not caring where his thoughts happened to wander.
He couldn't keep on like this. It was taking its slow toll on the young man, even if only the preliminary signs showed on the surface. He couldn't sleep, even if he wanted to, so he had given up trying. He had no appetite to eat, so he had given up on that as well. He had withdrawn himself from the normal human world, had resigned himself to the lazily circling spiral he was locked in.
It wasn't the facts that he wasn't eating, or sleeping, or being with people that confirmed his depression, it was the fact that he had given up on getting them back… Takao had given up.
He had seen himself start to slip downhill and hadn't tried to catch himself, had just let himself fall.
'Why didn't you catch yourself?!?' His reason yelled at him from the corner of his mind. 'Why didn't you see it?!? Why?!? Why?!?'
"Because I had hoped someone else would…" Takao whispered in response.
Takao's eyes shone slightly in the faint light from the moon that sat outside the window, they shone with un-shed tears. Yes, he had hoped desperately that someone else would have come to catch him; to keep him from falling too far… had hoped that someone would see and try to stop it.
If they had…
A single crystalline tear leaked out the corner of Takao's eye, slipping down his cheek to dampen the pillow beneath his head. He bit his lip silently, sadness and misery welling up inside him as he turned to lie on his side, letting the rest of the tears flow.
"Why didn't they…?" Takao sobbed almost silently into the pillow, letting all the pent-up emotion wash over and possess him. "…why…?"
That night Takao slept for the first time in three weeks and his pillow was damp with tears.
~*~*~
The alarm clock in Kai's bedroom went off at six-thirty as usual. He opened one eye blearily and swatted vaguely at the offending item, managing only to knock it onto the floor and boost the alarm up to the next tone.
He sighed, rolling over and grabbing the clock to turn the alarm off before getting up. Before he had finally fallen asleep last night, he had done some deep thinking, unusual for him. He had thought about what Rei had said last night when he had come over to talk.
'Why should you care?' the voice in his head sneered. 'You don't need them, and they don't need you either.'
'Then why did Rei talk like he wanted me to fix it then?' he asked it. The voice seethed within him and he knew it didn't have an answer.
He splashed cold water on his face and looked into the mirror. Cold, blood red eyes stared back at him from a pale face, sharp blue triangular tattoos etched across the cheeks. The face was blank, staring out at him from the mirror was a face he barely recognized, not the same as from before…
He turned sharply away from the smooth glass on the wall and went to go get dressed.
'What happened last night?' he asked himself. 'Why did Rei act like that?'
'It doesn't matter!' His mind answered him. 'You shouldn't care! You don't need to care!'
'You're wrong…' Kai bit back at it, pulling on a shirt. 'You're wrong…'
'You don't know that,' the voice hissed 'If you knew you would've gone…'
Kai paused, a strange mix of emotion creeping into him. Why hadn't he gone?
He pulled on the rest of his clothes and left the room swiftly, making his way down the stairs and through the downstairs corridor with ease. As he passed the room where he had talked with Rei the previous night, he stopped and saw the cracked crystal ball on the floor. It hadn't been touched, but Kai knew it would fall apart at the slightest touch.
~*~*~
Me: *falls over* I am amazed yet again at the sheer crappiness of my endings…
Tala: Hey, at least you finished it…
Me: Yeah, it was only sitting around like 80% finished for half a month!!
Brigs: Quit bickering you two!! *glances around* Hey, why aren't any of the others in the author notes?
Me: I have decided that I like Tala the best out of the bunch as far as muses go, so he stays.
Tala: -__- This means I get to be in all the author notes for your Beyblade stories?
Me: ^^ Yup!
Tala: -__- …yippee.
Me: Once again, to my semi-loyal reviewers, I will require at least five more reviews for this chapter if you want me to continue, bringing the total up to 18, and next chapter is when Ka- MPFH!!
Brigs: *muffling Angie* And you say I'm the one who reveals the plot too much!!
Me: *glares at Brigs* Mphf, mm hhrrg mpfhr nggg!!!
Brigs: *glances at Tala* Any idea what she said?
Tala: I think she wants us to bribe the reviewers.
Me: *rolls eyes and forcefully removes Brigs' hand* It's not bribing!!
Brigs: Whatever you say Barbie…
Me: *serious anime vein* WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?!?! *begins chasing Brigs with coffee pot of doom* I TOLD YOU NOT TO EVER CALL ME THAT!!!
Brigs: *running for his life*
Tala: *munching popcorn watching Angie chase Brigs* Review, those who help meet the quota will receive… *checks list* one very hunky Sesshoumaru poster… or if they prefer, a plushie of their fave beyblade character, or both… *tosses list away* Whatever, just review! *goes back to watching Angie and Brigs*
Brigs: *dodges coffee pot* Watch where you're swinging that thing Barbie!!
Me: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!