Specific request

Peaceful laboratory office didn't help Orochimaru organize his thoughts.

Quite the opposite.

The letter he received this morning ruined today's plans regarding his work and, in addition, created numerous problems he couldn't possibly solve. Not by himself, at least.

A knock on the door ended the silence, making Orochimaru sigh deeply.

"Come in."

His assistant entered quickly, shutting the door behind him.

With a bow, Kabuto said, "You summoned me, Orochimaru-sama."

"Yes, Kabuto," Orochimaru said with a nod and Kabuto straightened. "I must take care of some business. Abroad."

"I understand."

It wasn't the first time he put Kabuto in charge, but now, with Ino as his wife, the details were unknown.

"I will be absent for at least a week," Orochimaru instructed his assistant. "In case it takes me much longer than that and all of the ongoing projects are finished, the whole team is free to take a vacation."

The mentioned situation happened the last time he attended the gathering specified in the invitation. Also Jiraiya joined him on the previous occasion, which couldn't be the case now that he was married.

"As you wish, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

What Orochimaru wished for, and what he couldn't say aloud, was never meeting Ino and agreeing she became his fake wife.

"That would be all," Orochimaru said to dismiss Kabuto. "I will also finish up earlier today."

Kabuto bowed before leaving Orochimaru by himself again.

Despite memorizing every word of its content, Orochimaru dug out the letter from the drawer and read it for the last time.

Overthinking and making a big deal out of nothing were his quirks, so getting a second opinion was a must before breaking the news to Ino. Jiraiya was out of town, so Orochimaru left his office to see Hokage. After all, Tsunade was the initiator of the whole idea, so if his newest marital complication would end in divorce, she should be the first to know.

Ignoring the queue in front of Hokage's office, Orochimaru entered unannounced. Neither Tsunade nor Kakashi wasted breath to kick him out. They sent away the present shinobi instead.

"What is it?" Tsunade asked.

"I need a minute of your attention," he said, looking at Tsunade.

"You are here, let's hear it," she said, leaning in her seat.

"It's a private matter," he emphasized.

"Related to your wife?" she asked, smirking.

"And private," he repeated, hoping Tsunade would take the hint.

She got up meaning she did.

"Don't wait for me," she said to Kakashi. "Orochimaru leaving the lab at this time of day seems like a crisis."

Orochimaru didn't have to see Kakashi's face to know the grey-haired shinobi was grinning under the mask.

Several minutes later, sitting opposite Orochimaru and having a letter in her hands, Tsunade's smiling face was becoming serious.

"So you and Ino are going on your first trip together," she concluded from the letter.

"In ideal circumstances, yes."

With a quick glance toward him then again toward the letter, Tsunade leaned forward, her voice low. "Didn't you plan to take her with you?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" she repeated, her voice a bit louder.

"In case I do, and our pretence isn't believable enough, I will lose one of my most important investors."

"The one who invited you?"

"Exactly."

"Did anyone suspect so far?" Tsunade's voice became a whisper. "I mean, this wouldn't be your first fundraiser."

"It's not a fundraiser."

"A party then?"

Orochimaru sighed deeply, aware he must reveal more details, despite the fact he shouldn't.

"It's a series of parties throughout our stay at the luxurious resort."

Tsunade leaned back in her seat, relieved.

"That sounds like a vacation, not work."

He must have grimaced because Tsunade added, "Not a vacation?"

"For real couples, yes. For us, hardly."

Tsunade returned to the letter, probably hoping to find information that was making this trip more complicated than it seemed.

"This name sounds familiar. Didn't you go there before?"

"Yes."

"By yourself?"

"I took Jiraiya with me the last time."

Now Tsunade frowned.

"Why would you take him to a series of parties at the luxurious resort?"

"I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me?" she echoed. "Then how do you expect me to help?"

"I don't know," Orochimaru said, rubbing his temple. "All I know is I cannot not go."

"Go then," Tsunade said, folding the letter.

"If I go by myself, nobody will ever believe Ino is my real wife."

"Take her with you then."

Instead of focusing on the problem, Tsunade was dedicated to her tea, meaning she didn't understand the gravity of the situation. He pocketed the letter.

"If I do take her with me," Orochimaru began his elaboration, "and somebody suspects our marriage is fake, I will lose all my credibility. How am I going to find investors then? It counts as one event, but if it goes badly, my future projects are doomed. No projects mean no development which means-"

"I know what it means, I am Hokage," she cut him off. "What do you want me to do? The decision is up to you."

"It's up to Ino," he corrected his friend. "She doesn't feel comfortable around me yet, which is totally fine after only one month, and I would hate to pressure her if she dislikes me."

"And the two of you need to be all lovey-dovey in front of all those investors?"

"I didn't say that!"

His protest made Tsunade laugh.

"You appeared together at the festival as a perfectly ordinary couple, so unless you want her to be more affectionate in public, I don't see the problem."

"This isn't hanging out at the same place at the same time. Nobody should-"

"Suspect, I get it," Tsunade chimed in. "But even you must have noticed not all couples behave equally in public. You could be one of the reserved couples."

"We could, most of the time. At this type of event, we shouldn't part, meaning Ino mustn't show she hates my company."

"I can't order how she should feel around you." Tsunade took a sip of her tea. "On the other hand, you could head home and bond with your wife before your departure."

Orochimaru's tea was getting cold, but he didn't care. Instead of useful friendly advice on women, so far he only got scolding.

"Let's say being more affectionate in public is the easier part. How should I forbid her to leave my side and chat with other people, both men and women alone?"

"Men are easy to explain," Tsunade said with a shrug. "Your jealousy."

Orochimaru reluctantly agreed by rolling his eyes.

"Women are more tricky," Tsunade continued. "May I ask why you would not recommend speaking to other women?"

"You may ask, but I cannot explain."

"Can you explain it to your wife?"

"Partially."

"Then why aren't you talking to her?"

Leaning closer to Tsunade, Orochimaru's voice was barely a whisper. "Because she might request a divorce."

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" Tsunade asked, her voice casual. "I mean, how different Ino's behaviour would need to be?"

"Significantly, which is why I came to you first."

"Whatever you expect from her," Tsunade said with a shrug, "I may find it unacceptable, while she may not. Maybe she won't like every condition, but maybe you can meet halfway. Marriage is all about compromise, after all."

Orochimaru wondered how she, a woman who wasn't married a day of her life, could give advice on marriage so confidently. Pointing it out would only make her mad, so he asked more about his wife instead.

"So you are saying Ino is open-minded?"

"She is married to you, isn't she?"

"Does that also mean she has plenty of experience?"

"Experience with what?"

"Sex and drugs, obviously."

Instead of answering, Tsunade stared at him open-mouthed.

"It's not connected," he explained and Tsunade audibly exhaled. "I don't plan to drug her to sleep with her."

"I hope you are not," Tsunade said, taking a sip of tea to compose herself.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Ino's experience," he repeated.

"I am not familiar with her preference, but I believe she has been sexually active for the last couple of years. The drugs never came up in our conversations."

"If she is not experienced enough with either of it, she might request a divorce as soon as we return."

"Divorce is the easy way out. The more information she has, she will adjust more easily. If she refuses to cooperate, then I misjudged her."

"Then I better get going," Orochimaru announced, rising from his seat. "If I had stayed single, I would have been on my way to the resort already."

"It's not my fault you refuse to communicate with your wife," Tsunade said, now following behind him.

"I thought talking to you would be more constructive."

"I can't help you." Orochimaru didn't have to turn around to know that Tsunade shrugged. "You are on your own. Too bad your way of dealing with it is divorcing Ino."

"It's not like that," he protested, facing his friend, now outside. "I don't want to traumatize her."

"All you have to do is explain, and maybe listen to her suggestions. You are giving up instead."

Orochimaru disagreed, rolling his eyes, to which Tsunade added, "That's why you never got married."

First unhelpful advice, then insults. He endured enough.

"You know I'm right!" she yelled after him.

Alone with his thoughts again, and yes, on his way home to talk to Ino, Orochimaru reconsidered this fake marriage. It was true that if he still had been a bachelor, he would have left Konoha the second after receiving the letter. With Ino as his fake wife, not only his absence meant not working, it was a source of additional stress.

He had been knowing the resort's owner for longer than a decade and not once did he bring up the desire to get married or have a serious relationship of any kind. They were not friends, but lying to his most important investor might have serious consequences. Also there was a risk Ino would learn details behind their business partnership as well as find out about her husband's reputation among other rich guests.

By the time he reached his house, Orochimaru wondered if divorce would be as half as stressful.

Not finding Ino at home didn't surprise him. What was upsetting him was not knowing where she was, therefore he was forced to wait until she returned.

Waiting for her meant more time to think about the best way to present the resort's idea, but also wasting time at Konoha while they could be on their way there.

His first step was to make tea. A casual, friendly conversation over a cup of a hot beverage couldn't go bad, could it? For himself he made chamomile, and for Ino, he hoped she liked mint. Placing the cups on the table, Orochimaru took a seat facing the door, counting on Ino's soon arrival.

Several cups of tea later, Orochimaru nearly jumped from his seat after seeing the familiar blonde locks.

"Now this is a surprise!" Ino said, approaching the table. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened," Orochimaru tried to sound casual, staring at his cup.

"Is this for me?" she asked, pointing at the cup opposite of his seat.

"It's mint. I would have made you coffee, but I didn't know how you like it. You can show me now if-"

"It's fine," she interrupted, taking a seat opposite of him. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Why do you think that?"

"You are at home in the middle of the day, offering to make me coffee," she said, taking a sip of her cold tea. "So what's up?"

"It's nothing, really!" This time his voice was definitely weird. "It's just that I received this letter," he said, handing her over the said letter, "and I wonder what you think about it."

"What I think about it?" she echoed, eying him suspiciously.

"I will make more tea while you read!" he announced then started rummaging through the cupboard in search of more tea. Ino didn't make comments while the dishes made unusually loud noises. Or it was just his impression while waiting for Ino to finish reading and say something!

"So," she interrupted him in the middle of adding honey, "you are invited to attend the fundraiser."

Now Orochimaru faced her, stirring his fresh cup of tea.

"It's not a fundraiser."

"Then I am not obligated to go with you?"

That didn't occur to him until now. As his wife, she was supposed to accompany him at the fundraisers, other events weren't specified.

"Correct," he said, taking back the letter. "According to general agreement, you are not."

She watched him sitting down opposite of her.

"I sense a but coming," she said, her features serious.

"Also correct." He put his cup down. "It's a series of parties and we, as legally married, should attend together."

"Should?" she repeated. "Does that mean you would prefer to go by yourself?"

"No, of course not! I mean, if I had been single, I would have gone by myself, but this way, I would like you to join me."

"Okay. So when do you plan to tell me the reason for being overly dramatic?"

If it was possible, it would be never.

Unfortunately, he wanted her to go, so he was also obligated to explain.

He took a deep breath before starting the explanation. Ino listened without interruption, drinking her tea every now and then. After he finished, she had the general idea, same as Tsunade. There was no need for too much information that might discourage her to go with him.

"I still don't get what concerns you so much," she said, getting up to wash her cup. "We already appeared together in public."

Was she serious? Didn't she pay attention? Didn't she conclude their behaviour must change?

He also got up and waited until she turned off the tap.

"I thought I was clear enough," he said and she switched her attention to him. "Nobody should suspect we are not a real couple."

"Nobody will," she assured him. "How much time do I have to pack?"

His unconcerned fake wife didn't wait for his answer, she was on her way to her bedroom.

"Now wait a second!"

Ino looked at him over her shoulder.

"What is it?"

"I don't think you understood."

She turned around, facing him.

"Maybe I didn't," she said when he approached. "You are awfully tense and I don't see why."

How could she not see it? It was this marriage, his entire career and his reputation at stake! All it took was one wrong gesture, one wrong word at the wrong moment in front of the wrong people!

"We will spend a week at the resort," she said to which he nodded, "and attend parties with people who never saw me and who barely know you."

"Except the owner," he pointed out.

"Except the owner," she repeated. "How well does he know you?"

"He knows that I am a scientist and that I have a laboratory and-"

"Privately," Ino interrupted him, chuckling lightly.

"Privately?" he repeated, a bit confused.

"Did you reveal to him you hate blondes?"

"Oh that," he said, realizing what privately meant. "I do not hate blondes," he said with a small smile.

"Will he think I am not good enough for you?"

"No."

"Not pretty enough?"

It was his turn to laugh.

"No."

"What about other guests?" she continued. "Does anybody know what exactly you do and how much you work?"

Her raised eyebrows were telling him she already knew both answers.

Despite the stressful day, he managed to smile.

Ino was completely right and he was stupid for not realizing it by himself.

Nobody there knew he was a workaholic with no social life whatsoever and meeting, charming and in the end marrying a woman was nearly impossible. Even if that hadn't been the case, Ino was way out of his league anyway. But as she herself pointed out, none of the invited guests could tell for sure.

Nobody knew his close friend was his wife's boss nor that he met Ino one day before becoming her husband. More importantly, it was impossible to find that out.

Tsunade did tell him to speak to Ino right away, but no, he had to imagine every catastrophic scenario before his young fake wife enlightened him.

"Now I have a question," she said in a serious voice. "Should we discuss sleeping arrangements now or when we get there?"

"What do you mean?"

"You will let me have the bed to myself?"

"Of course."

He had no memories of going to sleep during his last stay, only waking up in strange places and yes, next to complete strangers. But Ino didn't have to know that, now or ever.

"It's a luxurious resort, so you will probably have the entire bedroom to yourself," he assured her.

"Then why am I not packing already?"

"I thought you didn't feel comfortable around me enough to go on a trip with me."

"Well this is the perfect chance to spend time together," she said. "I can't get used to your presence at home because you are never here."

And she was right again. Thanks to specific guests and his instruction not to speak alone with both men and women, they would be inseparable. In the end, maybe he would be the one proposing the divorce, unaccustomed to having a partner of any kind on his journeys.

"Relax," she said, having her widest smile so far. "We can be whoever we want to be in front of people who don't know us."
Orochimaru agreed in general, but he wondered if she would be this easy-going if she knew Jiraiya referred to this place as the horny resort.