AN: Hi everybody ! First of all, thanks to those who reviewed my chapters so far. Narnian Princess, alt sorato dash, Anora, Anna Taure, Leggylover03, lillinfields, Nicoletta, Kateri1, Melwasul, Not A Muggle, Cassie, Anne, Bellatrix13, tia , Rickman Fan , MerlinHalliwell, water drifter, starangel2106, Elvensorceress, RandiWeasley, Mikee, Luna699, you guys are the best, I love you !!

Another thanks to those who put me on their favorites list, it warms my heart!

Now, I just want you to know that I'm going to update at least once a week, maybe twice (I'll try ;-) ), and I promise that I'm not planning on leaving this story unfinished. I do have a plot (it will show up on later chapters) and I know exactly how this story is supposed to end (I'm even surprising myself). As for the length... well, it should be around 20 chapters but I can't really tell...

Finally, you may not like what Severus is going to do at a point of this chapter but don't worry, it IS explained... you'll see what I mean. Enjoy ! :)


What Am I

Chapter 2

He was screwed. He was so, so, so beautifully screwed. Damn Snape and his bloody Veritaserum. Now that Harry was vulnerable, thanks to the potion, his beloved teacher was probably going to have a wonderful time asking everything he had always needed to know in order to make Harry's life a living hell.

"Why did you run away?", came the next question.

Ouch. He didn't want to answer that one, it was almost worse than the first question. He didn't fancy talking about the Dursleys, let alone with someone who would use this knowledge against him as soon as the opportunity presented itself. No, there was no way he would hand Snape more weapons against him. The potion was making his throat ache from the need to talk combined with his firm desire to not reveal his secrets. He quickly thought of someway to sidestep the question. He settled for telling only part of the truth, something that Snape would buy easily without thinking there was more to it.

"I left because I firmly believed I couldn't do what was asked of me, I couldn't fight an evil and insane dark wizard. And I desperately wanted to save my own life."

It seemed to work. Snape's face revealed nothing but he sneered and said in a vicious voice:

"Well, it's a wonder the hat put you in Gryffindor, but then, I never thought you had that legendary bravery everyone talks about. Just a nice amount of sheer stupidity."

Harry shrugged, although he was more affected by what Snape had said than he was letting on. After having run away, Harry had often thought about how he had abandoned everyone, and had wondered to what extent his cowardice would affect his friends' futures. With the guilt had come the self-hatred, a hate he had shaken off by reconstructing another persona, under the name of Sebastian. Sebastian was a normal boy, with normal friends and normal responsibilities. When Harry had told Snape that his name was Sebastian, he had meant it, but hearing Snape talk about Gryffindor and courage made the guilt and self-loathing come back full force. You tried to save your own life, you did the intelligent thing to do said a little voice inside Harry's head. The voice strangely sounded like a hiss, and Harry had got used to calling it his 'Slytherin voice'. This particular thought gave Harry an idea.

"You know" he said lightly, "the sorting hat wanted to put me in Slytherin." For once, telling the truth wasn't so unpleasant, judging by the way Snape's skin had suddenly taken a much lighter shade. Harry let the news sink in, before adding, "But I declined the offer. The few persons I had met from this house had seemed pretty unpleasant." The potion allowed him to say that only because it was true: he had met Draco Malfoy in the train on the trip to Hogwarts, and hadn't been impressed by his behavior. But Harry looked pointedly at Snape when he said that, knowing that the older wizard would take the insult personally.

Snape bared his teeth, but Harry wasn't finished. He really wanted to be the one throwing insults for once, and there wasn't any point to lose, nor any detention to be given.

"And you know what? I'm glad I refused, because the only thought of spending my day with unfeeling bastards such as you, sir, makes my stomach rise and my head howl in pain. You make me sick."

Harry wanted to smirk but he didn't have the time. He didn't see Snape move, he didn't catch his hand rising, he only felt the blow on his face.

Severus Snape was fuming. How dare the unrespectful brat insult him in his own house, when Severus had spent months looking for him against his will.

One look at the boy in front of him, and three very different feelings fought their ways inside him. One of them was relief. He had wanted to throttle both Potters so many times before that his latest action felt strangely satisfying. The second one was worry. The headmaster would have his head on a platter if he ever learned about this...er, incident.

The third one, the strongest one, was horror. He had hit the boy. A wave of disgust over-flowed him and nausea rose when he caught the full implications of his actions: he was becoming his father. No, this was a nightmare, he would never act like his father. But the fact was that he had backhanded a child, what's more a child tied up on his sofa with no way of defending himself. Sure, the boy had insulted him, but this was still no reason to act so harshly.

Potter was not moving, he was eyeing Snape cautiously, bracing himself for what was to come. He was not crying, not shouting insults nor trying frantically to escape, he was just waiting. There was no fear in his green orbs, just resignation and disappointment, as if knowing that pain would come and that there was nothing he could do about it. His lower lip was bleeding, which only hardened his new features even more.

Snape wondered what was the source of such an unexpected reaction, but he pushed the thought away. It reminded him of his life too much, and there was no way the Potter-boy could have had a life even remotely similar to his own.

Severus was vaguely aware that his actions were a consequence of the energy loss he had experienced the whole week. He had mastered his emotions long ago and would never have hit the boy, had he been in his normal state of mind. But it was never good to last on potions rather than food, and Severus now realized he had pushed himself too far. His hands were shaking. He had thought it was from anger, but it was more likely to be from the prolonged use of the Awerumy Potion.

A long sigh escaped Severus' lips. Might as well apologize, or at least try to.

"I shouldn't have done that."

The teen said nothing, maybe for fear of retaliation. Or maybe the Potter brat was just sulking. Severus attempted to establish an almost civil conversation with the boy, his way of trying to forget the previous events.

"How did you manage to put such a glamoury charm on yourself, Potter, let alone one so powerful that I could not unlock it? It's pretty advanced magic."

"I didn't." The answer came smoothly, he hadn't fought to keep it.

"Really? I thought not." Severus could truly not imagine a fifth year achieving this fine bit of magic, but his words were also meant to spite the boy.

"So how did you end up with those new looks? I can tell it's not just some natural changes, I barely recognized your over-swelled head."

"I have no clue. The changes appeared rather slowly. At first I didn't notice, but when the drastic changes took place, I realized this was not a normal transformation."

"How smart of you," sneered Severus.

The boy took no notice and went on. "The thing is that it appeared on its own. And as you may have noticed, not only am I no longer the spitting image of my supposed father, but I don't even look the slightest bit like James Bloody Potter anymore !" The boy was fuming.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Snape arched an eyebrow and smirked, "it does seem to be quite an improvement." Even if Snape's intention was only to taunt Harry, he had asked a direct question and Harry, still under the effect of the Veritaserum, couldn't prevent himself from spitting out the truth.

"I'm upset because James was probably not my father, which means that I was once again lied to, that I don't even know who I am and that people I once trusted would actually keep me in the dark as long as it helps their purpose. I'm sick of that. Sick of being a tool. When I realized that I was just a piece on the board, not someone viewed as an actual human being, I was even gladder to have left the magical world."

For once, Severus couldn't help to agree with the boy. He may have expressed his thoughts in a rather melodramatic way, but in the end, it had been the truth, only the truth. Severus was gladly surprised the brat had figured that much on his own without Granger whispering in his ear. He would have to talk to the headmaster on this matter. The boy could explode at any moment. They needed to get him back, and giving him his true identity would surely help gaining his trust back. Not that Severus knew who the boy's father was, but the Headmaster was bound to know.

The more Severus pondered those thoughts, the more he believed the old coot had known all along. After all, the boy had been placed with Lily's family for the sake of blood protection, the blood connection could also have worked with the child's father's relatives, and Severus was quite sure that there still remained at least one living relative of the Potter family. If Potter was not really the boy's father, it seemed only logical for Dumbledore to give Harry to Lily's sister.

But the question was : who the hell was the boy's father? There was no doubt that Lily was his mother, the blood magic worked with her relatives, Harry still had her eyes, and the boy's new appearance revealed that Lily had in fact passed quite a few of her features to her son. Her full lips, her elegant neck and the curve of her eyebrows were present on her son, though a little bit more masculine on the teen than they were on the beautiful woman. But whom would Lily have had a child with?

Severus himself was of course out of question. What had... happened between them had taken place almost a year and half before the child's birth. So who was it ?

The potion master was pulled away from those thoughts when Harry spoke.

"Is there any way I can convince you to let me go and pretend you never found me ?" His tone was sarcastic but Severus heard a faint note of desperate hope in the teen's voice.

"No." As tempting as it might be, Albus would never forgive him, was he to learn anything about it. Speaking of the Devil, he might as well contact him. Severus stood up swiftly, muttered a quick spell to heal the boy's lips and undid the spell which bound him to the sofa. Just as he finished with those, he placed another security charm on himself and Harry, not wanting to lose the boy when they were just about to floo to the headmaster's office.

Severus threw the floo powder inside the fireplace, grabbed Harry's arm and stepped into the flames.