AN: Hey everybody ! I'm really sorry for the delay, I've been away with no access to a computer ( I suffered, a lot). As always, many thanks to those who reviewed and forced me to update , you're great !

By the way, I know I screwed up a tiny little bit with the POVs in this chapter but, er... forgive me ?

For those who think this story is too slow, you might be glad to hear that next chapter will be the Paternos Potion ! And it should be up pretty soon ;-)

I probably have more things to say but I forgot, so....

Enjoy ! (finally...)

What Am I

Chapter 6

"Take back your ridiculous excuse for an essay, Potter." Snape was holding Harry's – now covered in red – essay between his thumb and his forefinger, careful to keep a reasonable distance between the probably disease infected paper and himself. Harry numbly took the oh so nicely offered paper, all the while studying carefully his professor's face. Snape was looking as threatening as ever, and even though his hunched shoulders revealed that he was still in pain from the previous day's event, he acted as if nothing had happened at all. If anything, he looked even more vicious than before, probably a result of his shame at being caught in a weakened state.

"I've given you an A because most of the subjects were average. However, Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts were truly poor."

Severus saw with a flash of satisfaction that Potter was gaping like a fish. Truth be told, his test wasn't that bad, but Severus' intent was to shake Potter hard enough to make the boy use his full potential. Contrary to popular belief, Severus knew that Potter had potential, and a lot, but the boy kept neglecting it and it was a shame, really. Snape didn't like teaching stupid students, but nothing made him angrier than to see a powerful potential stay uncultivated.

"Your knowledge of DADA is quite superficial. You know what to say, you know how to use your wand, but you have no idea of why you're doing such things, why the spell works this way," explained Snape.

"No one ever explained these things to me. None of our teachers took the time to explain the theory behind the spell," argued Harry. 'What is his problem,' thought Harry, 'no student, not even Hermione, knows this.'

'There's a reason why people write books, Potter." Harry didn't say anything, just breathed deeply, trying to control his rising anger.

"Potions is no surprise though. We always knew you were not able to grasp the beautiful logic of this art."

'If there is such a thing,' thought Harry.

"Of course there is !" snapped the potions master. Harry hadn't realized he had said that aloud. Oops. "Did you think that potions were created by people who just tried adding some random ingredient and just happened to stumble on an effective potion ?!"

"Well," retorted Harry, "you certainly present it that way. Most of the time, you just write the steps of the potion-making on the board without explaining WHY we should do it that way."

"Are you criticizing my teaching methods, boy ?" asked Snape in a dangerously quiet voice.

"With all due respect sir, I most certainly am, " answered Harry in a calm voice. It was time someone told the old bat the truth about his lessons. "I'm only saying this for the sake of your future students."

Harry could see Snape's cheeks reddening by the minute and understood that the older wizard would never accept any criticism, let alone from Harry. Harry mentally shrugged, it had been worth a try. He sighed.

"But I guess you know your work better than I do," conceded Harry. "Besides," he added in a weak attempt at lifting both Snape and his own spirits, "at the end of the week, I probably won't be your student anymore, and we won't have to see each other again."

"I wouldn't be so sure, boy." What did that mean ? Was he to go back to Hogwarts ? The mere thought of going back there as a student was making Harry shudder in apprehension. He didn't belong to Hogwarts anymore, he could never face his... friends again.

Harry snapped out of his thoughts, only to see Snape give him a folded paper wearing the ministry's crest as well as Hogwarts'. Curiosity overwhelming him, Harry reached for the parchment which, he knew, held his OWLs results. He had got an O in DADA and Care of Magical creatures, E in charms, herbology and history of magic, an A in transfiguration and Potions, and a P in Astrology and Divination. 'Seven OWLs' thought Harry smiling slightly, 'not bad, I guess'.

"I thought you didn't care about Hogwarts."

Harry shrugged, "Must be my legendary curiosity." Then he frowned and added, "I only got an A in Potions, so even if I was to go back to Hogwarts, I wouldn't have you as a teacher, I was right."

"Well," sneered Snape, "you are NOT in Hogwarts, and you WILL study Potions with me. Actually, I'm supposed to teach you every single subject you would learn if you were still attending Hogwarts. And I will keep on tutoring you even after we know the results of the Paternos test."

Harry looked at Snape, a suspicious glint in his eyes. "Why are you pushing it? It's not like you actually want to teach me."

Snape half-smirked at the ridiculous notion of anyone ever wanting to teach the fool boy and simply said, "Headmaster's request."

"I see," was Harry's short answer.

But what Severus could see, was the anger that the teen was unsuccessfully trying to push away. Hell, Dumbledore controlled Severus' life too, and he knew how it felt like to be bullied into doing something one really loathed to do. But his and Potter's case were two entirely different problems. Dumbledore was using Severus only because it helped the Light side. Severus had agreed on becoming a spy because he wanted to redeem his soul by working for the Light, however, Albus couldn't have cared less about his motives. As long as he spied for the good side, the old man was happy. On the other hand, Dumbledore was meddling with the boy's life only to keep him safe. When would he finally see that ?

The boy seemed to understand his professor was thinking, because once he had regained a clear head, he explained calmly, "I'd rather make my own choices and end up dead than be ordered around, even if it is for my own safety. After all, we learn from our mistakes."

"What you have to understand, Potter, is that you are not the only one involved. Your friend Weasley can run away as many times as he wants, it will only sadden his family and his friends. But if YOU run away and get yourself killed, it's the hope of the wizarding world which vanishes. Just like I can't stop spying, you can't stop living. At least not until you kill the Dark Lord."

Harry grimaced. "Nice. Stay alive till you do your job, after that you can go and get killed, we won't give a damn."

"That's how it works, boy. You'd better get used to it."

But Harry was not ready to give up on his hope to live a normal life, so he argued, "Why does everyone believe I have to be the one to kill him? All the prophecy says, is that 'neither can live while the other survives', it doesn't necessarily mean that I should be the one to kill him. Only that the world isn't big enough for the both of us, or so Voldemort thinks."

Snape tapped a finger against his chin. He had never heard the whole prophecy, but if what the boy was saying was true, it could change a lot of things. But why the prophecy then ? Prophecies were rather rare and always dealt with important, historical events. Curious, Snape voiced his thoughts.

"Maybe prophecies are not so rare," answered Harry, "Trelawney made one at the end of my third year, and it was about Wormtail going back to Voldemort. Not such an important matter, if you ask me."

"Wrong, Potter. Wormtail was the one who brought the Dark Lord back." Harry couldn't find anything to answer to that.

Both were lost in their own thoughts until Harry spoke again.

"Do you think it will help, sir ?"

"What are you talking about, Potter ?" asked Snape, irritation showing in his voice.

"All of this," said Harry, making a global motion with his arms, "all these lessons, all the knowledge Dumbledore wants to give me, this so-called 'training'. Do you think it will help me when I finally face Voldemort. Will it make a difference or will I end up dead anyway. A honest answer, please, sir."

Snape's gaze penetrated his student's green orbs and he immediately knew that the boy didn't want to be reassured, he wanted the truth.

"You've never shown a great deal of power, Potter," Snape's tone was serious, and for once held no malice, "except on that fateful night fifteen years ago. You're an average student, although this might have more to do with you not paying attention in class than with any lack of power. I don't think the Dark Lord can be defeated by a powerful Avada Kedavra, much less by you. Others, much more powerful than you, have tried before and have failed. I reckon all the training," he put an emphasis on this word, "we give you is only for you to stay alive long enough to... do whatever you will have to do. I don't know which of you will kill the other, but if you do kill him, my guess is that it will be caused by the link you share with the Dark Lord."

"So," replied Harry slowly, "you think there might be a chance for me to survive ?"

"There's a possibility, Potter. You've managed to stay alive for sixteen years, despite having faced the Dark Lord five times. You work on luck, Potter, maybe your luck will kill the Dark Lord."

Harry was placed before a choice. He could run away again, and forget about Voldemort. Problem was, Voldemort would not forget him. Or he could try to get rid of the Dark Lord as quickly as possible. Problem was, he would have to endure Snape training him. Harry's eyes took on a determined look. This was his only true option. A fire was running through his veins. Harry's head shot up, his gaze locking with his professor's slightly mocking eyes.

"Since running away isn't an option, since I'm forced to go and fight, I'd rather learn something useful."

As Snape raised his eyebrows, the black-haired boy explained, "I want to learn the Dark Arts." Snape's eyes widened but Harry took no notice and went on, "I know you can teach me. Potions, Herbiology, even the nice little curses we learn in DADA, they won't be of any help, really."

"Don't speak of what you don't understand, foolish boy !" growled Snape, his obsidian eyes on fire, "Dark curses are not thrown without consequences ! They are powerful, yes, but do you even know just why they are so powerful ?"

Harry only shook his head. He was more than a little alarmed by the way Snape was suddenly spitting in his face, but tried not to look away.

"When it is not properly taught, the power of the curse can overwhelm you. The curse needs a certain amount of power in order to work, and when it doesn't find it in your regular magical resources, it takes what it needs from the core of your magic, from your very essence, what, basically makes you who you are. Do you see why the improper use of those curses can have tragic consequences ?!"

"Then teach me well." Harry's boy was calm but firm, so unlike his professor's. Truth be told, Harry didn't feel so calm, but he hoped his quiet tone would calm the man, despite his words being rather provocative.

In the meanwhile, Severus was being assaulted by his own doubts. Was the boy really serious about learning the Dark Arts ? The self-righteous Gryffindor had never shown any interest in this subject. In fact, he had seemed to despise the Dark Arts. Severus didn't know what to think anymore. His views on the boy had already been badly shaken a few times this week, and now the noble Golden-boy wanted to learn the Dark Arts ?

Severus shook his head. Things just didn't make much sense these day.

"The headmaster will never agree, Potter."

Potter smirked slightly. "As long as we do exactly what he tells us to, he can't complain, and if he doesn't forbid you to teach me the Dark Arts, then you won't be disobeying in any way."

"And of course," continued Severus for him, "the Headmaster can't forbid anything if he had no idea that this foolish project crossed our minds, is that what your getting at ?"

"Precisely, sir." Yes, the teen was definitely smirking now.

Severus couldn't believe his ears. Had the boy only recently embraced his Slytherin side or had he just concealed it well, in the past ?

"And you think I am willing to be part of this disastrous plan of yours ?"

"I was hoping you would be," said the teen quite seriously, "Dumbledore can appear omniscient to those who don't really know him, but he's just a man. And like every man, he makes mistakes. I'm convinced that not wanting to teach me the Dark Arts is one of them."

"I refuse, Potter. Dumbledore knows what he's doing, and he's got a lot more experience than you and me put together. Besides, the Dark Arts are very advanced magic. Seeing how... average you are, teaching you would be pure madness."

Even though he was trying to stay calm, Harry could feel the anger accumulating inside him. The man hadn't even tried to teach him, and already he assumed that Harry would fail. There was no way Harry would give up, not this time, he had made his mind.

"You told me not to talk about what I didn't know, sir," he said, his voice raising, "Well, maybe you could practice what you preach, for a change. Don't judge without having proofs. How can you know I won't be able to learn the Dark Arts successfully?!"

Snape sneered, and his voice took the quiet tone which always announced the coming of cruel and biting words.

"My dear boy, you're not even able to add ingredients in a given order. This is all the proof I need to declare your utter incompetence. But please, correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe your unbelievably mediocre results were just the result of your incredible genius ? Maybe you're so clever, Mister Potter, that the whole world misunderstands you ? Face it, Potter, apart form throwing first year curses and flying your ridiculously expensive broom, there really isn't a lot you can do !"

The words hit Harry hard, mostly because what Snape had just said had crossed Harry's mind a few times. Besides, the humiliating words made Harry want to take a look at the room to verify that he was not back in a Potions classroom with Malfoy laughing at him. At this moment, Harry truly hated Snape, he couldn't even begin to understand why he had tried to help the greasy git the day before, this man wasn't worth it.

"You never gave me a chance to do well in your bloody class, SIR !" yelled the infuriated teen, "I might have made an effort if you hadn't crushed each and every attempt I made at improving myself !"

"So, you work only to be praised," snapped the Potions Master, "You should work for yourself, not for others. You could have chosen to impress me, but you gave up. As soon as someone wants to push your limits, you run away, just like you did this summer, just like you do each time you encounter a difficulty ! Do you think you sound like the world's savior ? You're just a coward! Fight, and maybe I'll give you some credit !"

Professor and student were now bellowing at the top of their lungs, both voicing the frustration they had accumulated along the years.

"All right ! I am a coward ! Is that what you want to hear ? But now I want to fight, I don't want to run, I WANT TO FIGHT. I'm willing to involve myself fully in this training so, please, give me a chance ! For once in your life, sir, give me a bloody chance !"

Snape didn't answer, Harry's words replaying in his head again and again. The teen's pale cheeks had taken on a rosy color, and Severus could see all the passion the argument had brought in the expressive green eyes.

"This," said Snape in a low and composed voice, "is not possible. Even if I was willing to teach you the Dark Arts, which I am not, I would need you to trust me completely. Could you really trust me with your life, your most hidden secrets, could you truly show me who you really are, without any fear or apprehension ?"

Harry stayed silent, unable to pronounce the 'magic' word. He lowered his head. For the first time since the beginning of the 'conversation', he could not stand his professor's gaze.

"I thought not," breathed Snape, "you may leave."

The teen left the room, quickly and soundlessly, the door shutting softly behind him.

AN: Review please ! Tell me what you think. Was it worth the wait ? Was it horrible ? Will you stop reading my story forever ? I know that this chapter was a little boring, but trust me, what I wrote here is useful for later chapters. Besides, I swear, next chapter will be much more interesting... ;-)