Donna and Harvey start a relationship after Intent, but are they trully ready?.
...
"I should go" His tone sounds almost defeated, like he was on the verge of throwing all his insecurities aside and going for it, but decided to back down at the last moment.
He stands and grabs his jacket and his coat as he puts them above his arm.
"Why?" She asks then, and he turns around to face her.
How can she even ask him that? How is that not clear to her after the way he moved heaven and earth to save her? After he let people get away with murder just to proctect her, to make sure nothing would happen to her.
"You know why" He replies, because he knows she does, or at least she should know.
She shakes her head a few times, and he doesn't know if she really has no idea of why he would do anything for her or if she just wants to force the words out of him. She's good at that, an expert at making him admit his feelings, but it's so different when those feelings are the ones directed towards her.
"You know I love you, Donna" He finally lets the words out and the shock on her face lets him know she didn't actually know. Does she really think he would go to the depths he's gone for her just because he cares? That's absurd, he cares about a few people, but he would never go as deep for them as he would for the woman that holds his world together, the woman that means everything to him.
He decides it's best to leave so he heads for the door and as soon as he opens it he can hear her footsteps behind him.
"You don't get to do that!" She exclaims at his back and he sighs and lowers his head in defeat, of course he wasn't going to just get away with it.
"Donna-" He tries, with his back still turned to her, but she doesn't let him continue.
"No, you don't get to tell me you love me and run, you're Harvey goddamn Specter, you don't run"
He turns around then, and sees her eyes filled with emotion as he does "Despite common belief, I'm not goddamn perfect Donna"
"Oh, believe me, I know. But you know the difference between me and everyone else? I don't care that you're not perfect. I know you, inside out, and I would never try to change you" She takes a few steps forward, making sure to give him the space she knows he needs right now, but also letting him know she's here if he wants her.
"I know that"
"Then why won't you look at me this way?" She demands as she points towards her.
"You're kidding, right?" He asks with indignation in his tone "You really think I don't look at you that way? Have you looked at yourself? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, Donna. You think I don't want you?!" He exclaims as his eyes bore holes into hers now.
"Then why won't you ever do something about it?!" She exclaims back and he opens his mouth to reply as he lifts his hand in exasperation to run it through his hair.
"Because you forbade me to!" He finally yells and she takes a step forward, shocked by his admission. "That day in the diner, I was going to tell you I wanted to have both, that I wanted you in my desk and in my life, but before I could, I saw the look on your face, you said we couldn't have both, you had that goddamn rule and I decided that I would rather have you as my secretary than not have you at all, so I told you I agreed to put it out of our minds, or at least I pretended to, cause I think about that night way more than I like to admit Donna. That night, was the best night of my life" He admits to a still stunned Donna "And I tried to move on from it, I tried to find that connexion again with someone else, but I'm never able to, because it was so much more that just mindblowing sex Donna, and it sacared… it scares the shit out me… Say something, please" He begs a few seconds later when he sees she's still speechless.
"Me too" She finally says "I've felt the exact same way since that night"
"Then why did you break your rule for him and not for me?" He asks and the indirect mention of Stephen makes her look down and sigh. He's been honest, and so should she.
"Because I had no feelings for him, there was no risk. With him it was only about sex, with you…" She trails off and he decides to close the door and walk towards her.
"With me, what? what is it about?" He asks softly, she already forced the words out of him, now he's willing to return the favor.
"Love Harvey, with you it's always been about love, and I couldn't expose my heart like that, you weren't ready" She confesses and he smiles down at her, tilting her chin up.
"I get it, but maybe now I am" He whispers and she looks into his eyes to see he's being completely honest.
"Maybe won't cut it Harvey, I need you to be sure"
"You almost went to prison and I let people get away with murder for you, because the thought of you being in that place… of not seeing your face everyday was unbearable Donna, I'm a selfish man, so I also did that for me" He shoots her his signature grin and she chuckles softly as she shakes her head
"Of course you did" She replies amused "You still haven't told me if you're sure" She reminds him.
"I know, but even if I say I am, you probably won't believe me, so I'll just show you, maybe between the second or third round you'll believe me, and I'll finish convincing you when I stay the night and we have breakfast together tomorrow morning"
"Three rounds? You're awfully confident Specter, you sure you can handle so much?"
"I remember taking around four out of you last time" He replies cockily and she laughs.
"Yeah, but you were so much younger" She says with a serious but teasing tone and he gasps.
"Oh, you're on Paulsen, four it is" He retorts as he finally drops his jacket and coat on the floor and after thirteen long years claims his lips with hers in a searing kiss.
"Bedroom" Donna mumbles in between kisses "Do you remember where that is?" She teases then as she pulls away and he grins at her.
"I could never forget" He quips as he lifts her off the ground, causing her to wrap her legs around him, while he carries her to her bedroom.
…
He moves inside her lazily, too tired to keep going as vigorously as the previous rounds. She holds him close, his face buried in her neck while he softly kisses her skin.
Their lovemaking is slow but it doesn't lack intensity, and if he really thinks about it, this is actually the most intense round so far.
"You feel so good, I never forgot how good you feel wrapped around me" He murmurs the words against her neck and she moves her head to kiss his temple as he keeps moving inside her.
"You feel amazing too" She whispers and he really does, no one's ever filled her the way Harvey does, it makes her feel complete, like finally coming home after so long.
"I told you I'd give you four" His reply makes her laugh softly.
"I knew you still had it in you… For the record, I think this is my favorite so far"
"Mine too" He confesses as he moves his head to kiss her with one long, deep push of his hips, causing her to moan against his mouth. "Donna" He calls her name softly and she nods, letting him know she understands.
"I know, me too" She claims his lips with hers as he continues to move slowly, never breaking eye contact and wanting to feel all of her.
…
Her cell phone's screen lights up and she can see the text without unlocking it.
I can't wait to rip that dress off of you
She looks up at him from her desk to find him focused on his laptop but she swears she can see a small smirk tugging at his lips.
She decides she can play this game too.
And I can't wait to wear your shirt afterwards.
She hits send and keeps her look on him, she can see the moment he reads it, because he shifts in his chair and he looks up at her, she smirks at him and he narrows his eyes as he leans towards the intercom.
"My office, now" He demands in a bossy tone and she tries to control the way she feels her legs turning into jelly at his tone.
She stands and walks into his office "Should I close the door?" She asks and he nods. "What can I help you with?"
"I was thinking we could book a hotel room for lunch hour" He says as if he were suggesting they go out for coffee.
"Harvey" Her tone is a warning one. "We agreed not to let our relationship interfere with our work" She reminds him and he nods.
"Lunch hour is not work" He simply replies and she shakes her head.
"We can't leave together and we can't risk being seen together entering a hotel in the middle of the day, Harvey"
She can see his disappointment but there's something else, he also looks pissed off "Didn't stop you from fitting the dentist during your lunch break before"
She gasps and glares at him, and she should have known it wouldn't take him long to behave like an asshole, the last week has been pure bliss and it was bound to happen, doesn't stop her from being furious with him anyway.
"Really, Harvey?"
"I'm sorry, alright? that was unfair, I shouldn't have said that" He apologizes and looks sincere enough but not for her to forgive him so easily.
"No, you shouldn't have, cause you very well know it's not the same. You're my boss and even if you weren't what we have is not just a fling, it's not only about that"
"I know" He simply retorts, knowing he screwed up and he'll have to crawl his way out of the hole he got himself into.
They look at each other for a few seconds, his words still twisting inside her like a knife, she hates being reminded of what was probably the worst mistake of her life, the one time she failed to read someone, and that Harvey is the one reminding her of that, hurts even more. Stephen Huntley is someone she never wants to think of, ever again.
"Is there anything else you need?" She asks, going back to her professional role.
"I need to know if we're okay" His tone is soft and pleading, and it takes all of her willpower not to lean over his desk to kiss him.
"I meant from your secretary" She replies instead, making it clear she's done discussing their previous subject.
"That'll be all then, Donna" He dismisses her and she turns to walk back to her desk.
She catches him throwing glances at her a few times, but she remains focused on her task and succeeds with ignoring him for the rest of the morning.
…
"I have a meeting across town, but I'll try to get free as soon as I can" He says as he leans on her cubicle a while later and she nods while typing away on her computer. "Donna" He whines softly and she looks at him.
"I heard you and I know you have a meeting across town, I'm your secretary, remember?" She says in what she hopes is a harsh tone.
"You're also my girlfriend and I don't like it when you're mad at me" He complains and he honestly sounds like a child, so she rolls her eyes at him.
"Don't be an asshole and I won't be" She retorts.
"Fine" He scoffs, as he sees his tactic is not working and leaves for his meeting.
The meeting is a nightmare, the client is a difficult one and he forgot the contract on his office because he was too distracted trying to find ways for Donna to forgive him for indirectly mentioning Stephen fucking Huntley. She's all he can think of since the night they got together, around a week ago, and he never thought he'd be so smitten by a woman in his whole life, but this isn't any woman, this is Donna, and he wants to do it right.
When the client leaves the fancy bar, he means to leave too, eager to go back to his place and see Donna probably curled around in his couch reading a book,, but a voice stops him.
"Harvey" He would recognize that voice anywhere.
He turns around with a smile "Scottie, been a while since we last saw each other" He says as he walks towards her.
"Yeah, since we broke up, actually" She points out with a smile.
"Well, since you broke up with me, you mean" He shoots back and she chuckles.
"Let's not keep score. We left things on an ugly note, but no hard feelings, right?" He nods, because he really has no hard feelings against her, especially now that he's finally in a relationship with the woman he's always wanted to be with, even if she's currently royally pissed at him. The mere thought of Donna brings a smile to his face.
"Do you have time for a drink?" Scottie then asks and sees the hesitation on his face.
"I really should go home" He says with an apologetic look.
"Oh, come on, back to that penthouse to sulk all on your own? Give me one, real good reason" She insists.
The woman I love is waiting for me, he thinks, but knows he cannot tell her the truth, Donna doesn't want anyone to know about them, and he knows if he tells Scottie he's seeing someone, she won't drop it until he tells her who she is, and he doesn't want to lie to her, so he figures one drink can't hurt and omission isn't lying, right? Besides, Donna is not the jealous type, he knows she trusts him.
"Alright, one drink" He agrees.
Conversation flows easily and he had forgotten how easy it is to be around Scottie without having to worry about their complicated past relationship, he learns she started seeing a lawyer, and she's happy, and he's genuinely happy for her, because Scottie will always remain someone important to him, a part of his life, and he wants her to be happy.
He's laughing at a joke she made about Louis when his cell phone chimes in and he takes it out of his pocket to read the text that's just came in.
Want me to still book that hotel room for you? looks like you might need it
His blood freezes as he frantically looks around him to see if she's still there, and what the fuck was she doing here in the first place?.
He looks outside, to the sidewalk, through the bar's big glass walls and sees the back of her red hair as she hops into a cab.
"Everything okay?" Scottie asks concerned when she sees the panic in his face and the way he jumps out of the bar stool.
"I'm sorry Scottie, I have to go" He quickly apologizes as he throws some money on the bar to cover for their drinks and flees the bar, leaving a stunned Scottie behind.
…
He desperately knocks on her door but there's no response "Donna" He calls over and over again "Please, open the door, it's not what you think" He begs.
"I'm pretty sure she's not home" The voice of an old lady can be heard behind him and he turns around to see her neighbor there.
"Mrs. Halliwell, I'm so sorry if I disturbed you, I just… How do you know she's not home?" He wonders.
"Because my dog can always tell when she arrives, and she hasn't been home for the past three nights, I assumed she was staying with you" The old lady explains and Harvey nods.
"She was, but I sort of screwed up and I thought she'd come here"
"Mhm" She hums in disapproval "I see… She's the best person I know, boy. If you hurt her, you'll have to answer to me" She warns and he resists the urge to smile.
"I would never Mrs. Halliwell, I assure you"
"Good… Want to give me your phone number? I can call you if she comes back" She offers but he shakes his head.
"That's alright, thank you, she's probably with her friend and I should give her some space"
"Oh yes Rachel, such a lovely girl, she bakes the most delicious cookies"
Harvey chuckles softly "Good to know" He replies "Have a good night Mrs. Halliwell"
"You too, Harvey" She retorts and Harvey frowns, wondering for a moment how is it that she knows his name, Donna talks about the sweet woman sometimes, but they have been dating for only a week and he hasn't been here so many times before for the lady to know his name.
He heads downstairs and hails a cab, trying to call Donna the whole way back but it keeps going straight to voicemail.
Once he enters his condo, he sighs in relief when he opens the hanger next to the door and finds her coat and her purse hanging there. She's here, and the realization warms his heart.
She's not in the living room and he can't see her in the bedroom or bathroom either, but he can see the door of the balcony in his bedroom is open, so he steps outside and that's when he finally lays eyes on her. She's leaning against the railing, a blanket wrapped around her to protect her from the chilling night.
"Hey" He calls softly "I went to your place, I thought you'd go there. Mrs. Halliwell told me you weren't home after I knocked and called for you for over ten minutes" He explains, he needs her to know that he didn't waste time going after her.
"Chester can always tell when I arrive" She replies while keeping her gaze focused on the amazing view she has of the city.
"Yeah, she told me that"
"I should have known you weren't ready, and I'm sorry if I pushed you into this Harvey, it was never my intention to do that" Her voice cracks a bit even when she doesn't intend it too.
"Look at me, please" He begs and she sighs, trying to hold her tears back as she turns around to face him. "You didn't push me into anything Donna, and I am ready, this is all I've wanted for the past ten years, but I need you to trust me, I need you to trust that I'm sure about this, that I want to be with you, and no one but you"
"I do trust you but… We got into a fight, and I gave you the cold shoulder all day and then I saw you with her, and I know how it always ends when you meet her for drinks-"
"I didn't meet her for drinks Donna, I was on my meeting and when I was about to leave she saw me, she offered to have a drink and I said no, she insisted and I couldn't refuse without telling her the truth, that I wanted to leave so I could come home to you, so I ended up agreeing, I was about to call it a night when you sent me that text" He explains in the most sincere tone and she knows him too well, she can immediately tell when he's lying and she can tell right now, he's telling her the whole truth.
"I went there to surprise you, I was going to apologize for exaggerating today when you brought Stephen up, but then I saw the two of you drinking and laughing and I felt so stupid. I was going to go home, but I ended up here anyway. I figured that if you wanted a way out I would give it to you without delaying it further"
His face falls and he feels so frustrated, because he thought he was doing a good job at being a good boyfriend for once in his life, and with the most important persona in his life of all people, which is no small detail. He knew he was going to screw up with Scottie the moment after they started trying a relationship, with Zoe it didn't even get to that point, but with Donna… He simply needs this to work, because this is it for him, she is it for him.
"I'm not good at this Donna, I'm terrible at relationships, and it's probably going to take me a while to nail it, because I've cared about a few women in my life before, but I have never been in love with one of them as I am in love with you Donna, so, I guess what I'm trying to say is that this isn't going to be an easy road and I'm going to screw up many times, but if you bear with me I promise I'll get there, I promise I will do my best to be the man you deserve"
She stares at him and for a moment he thinks she's going to tell him she has no patience or time to wait for him to put his shit together.
"Say it again" She demands softly and he looks at her confused.
"I promise I-"
"Not that!" She corrects and he gets it then.
He walks the final distance between them to stand before her as he cups her cheeks in his big, soft, hands. "I'm in love with you" He repeats while looking into her eyes "I love you, Donna"
Her eyes turn a shade darker as she puts her arms around his head and kisses him with a passion he hasn't felt in her before.
"You're mine" She says possessively and he nods.
"Of course I am, not the reply I was hoping for though" He mumbles against her lips as she continues to try to ravish his mouth.
She pulls back then and looks into his eyes, just like he did before "You know I love you, Harvey" Her teasing smirk as she repeats the same words he told her a week ago, makes him smirk in return.
"Good. Can I finally rip that dress off of you now? It drove me crazy all day long, you know what you in blue does to me" He begs and she lets out a heartfelt laugh
"Yes, you can" She confirms and he doesn't have to be told twice.
He'll screw up many times and she will too, but they'll make it in the end, cause they were always meant to be.
...
A/N: Hi guys! I wasn't sure to post this, cause it's definitely not my favorite work, but I couldn't get it out of my head and I hope you like it! If you do or if you don't, please let me know :)