AN: Thanks to everyone who continues to support my writing of this story. It's a lot more than I've experienced before and what I had expected at all. It definitely helps considering I'm still writing the story and I don't really have that much freetime at the moment. I especially want to thank Cria and TZ for betaing.
OldManFan: If you e-mail me I can explain what I meant. (hermiine85atyahoo.com)
Part 6
In Mac and Mattie's apartment the two inhabitants and Clayton Webb were sitting on the couch and the armchair around the coffee table talking. Webb had been in town for one week and as usual that meant Mac spent less time with Mattie and Harm than she'd normally do. Mac didn't join them for dinner every night as she usually did, but still had breakfast with them every morning. Mattie had been doing her homework when Webb had arrived and after having asked Mac for help a couple of times she had ended up on the couch with them as well. Now they were sitting there talking and laughing
"But isn't the food quite creepy there?" Mattie asked. Webb was just telling them about the trip he had made to Paris when he was Mattie's age.
"No. You just need to remember to either ask carefully what it is before you eat it or not at all. Once you've already eaten it, you don't want to know what it really was."
"Have you ever been to France, Mac?" Mattie asked. Mattie was taking French in school, but right now she was more interested in daydreaming up a trip there than learning French grammar and vocabulary.
"Yeah, but not for long parts of time. A day here and a day there because of work. You don't really get to see a lot then," Mac explained.
Their conversation was interrupted by Harm's characteristic knock on the door.
"Come in," both Mac and Mattie shouted.
"Hi," he said mostly to Webb, whom he hadn't met yet for this visit. "Dinner's ready. Are you coming Mattie?"
"Yeah. Have you made lots of food like always?" Mattie asked and when Harm didn't answer she assumed that so was the case. "Can't Mac and Mr Webb have dinner with us too?"
Harm felt like he was being pushed into a corner. He could accept Mac being with Webb, but having to see them together, he wasn't sure if that would work out.
"I can't decide that. It's up to Mac and Webb," he didn't say no, but he hoped that one of the others would.
"I think it sounds really nice," Webb said hoping to be able to get back some of the friendship that had been between him and Harm before Paraguay.
"Are you sure?" Mac and Harm asked at the same time.
"Sure," Webb nodded and ignored the tense feeling between the two other adults.
"OK. Are you ready to come now?" Harm asked and the other three nodded so he turned around and they walked over to his apartment.
As soon as he opened the door a smell of chicken marinated in garlic and citrus fruit met them.
"It smells delicious, Harm," Mac said. She went to get down two more plates for her and Webb and Mattie took out glasses, knives and forks. Neither one of them had any problems finding stuff around Harm's apartment.
They sat down and the tensions were still rather obvious, even Mattie noticed it, but she wasn't ready to acknowledge that this idea of hers had failed. When the adults weren't talking, she talked even more. Eventually the atmosphere around the table was brightened a bit.
"Mac told me you made an offer for a house," Webb told Harm.
"I did. Unfortunately they got a better one from someone else."
"So are you still looking for a house?" Webb continued to ask.
"I guess. Not very actively though. Things are going well as they are."
"So I hear," Webb said and smiled at Mac. Both Mac and Mattie nodded in agreement with Harm's words. They had both silently hoped that the house- deal would fall through so that they didn't have to leave this current living arrangement.
"So is anyone up for Trivial Pursuit?" Mattie asked.
"Why not?" Mac said and the men also agreed that it would be nice to play.
They sat down around the coffee table and started playing. Harm and Mac were one team and Webb and Mattie one. The latter team won because they had a lot more diversity in their areas of knowledge.
After the game was over, Mattie had to leave to finish the last of her homework assignments before she went to bed. Webb decided now was a good time for him to leave as well and Mac followed him out to the hallway to say goodbye.
"You two are happy, I can see that," Harm said when Mac returned to help him clean everything up. They had already taken care of the washing up right after dinner so there wasn't a lot to do.
"I am. I'm glad you're so... fine with it now," Mac told him sincerely.
"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."
"Thanks. I want that for you too."
"How did you know?" Harm asked suddenly.
"How did I know what?" Mac asked.
"I asked first," Harm said too quickly.
"I know that, Harm, and I'll answer you as soon as I understand the question," she said slowly and pedagogically and smiled encouragingly at him. There was obviously something that was bothering him and she wanted to put him at ease.
"How did you know that I wouldn't make you happy and he would?" he expanded his question.
"I... I didn't know that... It was just a feeling I had at that moment. I wasn't happy. Something had to change. When you didn't fight me on that 'never', I thought you felt the same way. I thought we'd be OK, that we would still be friends like always."
"I didn't feel the same way," Harm admitted to her and all of Mac's assumptions crashed together "But that's too late to say now, right?"
"Right," Mac swallowed three times after having said that word.
They were really already finished cleaning up, but both tried to find new things to do so they could continue being there, talking together. Mac was scrubbing on an imaginary spot on the table. Harm was rearranging the glasses in his cupboard.
"Harm, can I ask you something?" Mac broke the silence.
Harm nodded and she continued.
"Were you disappointed in me when I wasn't there for you when you were in the brig?"
"You're asking me that now;" Harm was a bit shocked. He hadn't expected her to ask him that.
"Yes."
"Why weren't you there?" he asked, but before she could form an answer he continued "No, no, I wasn't disappointed in you. I wanted you as far away from that investigation and that trial as possible."
"When I found out about Manetti's investigation on Singer, I was so disappointed with you. I felt betrayed," Mac could see Harm swallow. Not telling her about his suspicions regarding the father of Singer's baby wasn't something he was proud of. "But that wasn't the reason for me staying away. I wasn't angry with you and I didn't believe that you were guilty. I just didn't know what I could do and we were told to stay away so I just did as I was told. Maybe it was the easy way out, but I just..."
"It's OK, Mac. It's OK. I never doubted your faith in me. There are more ways of being there for someone... Besides chances are if you had gotten involved in that mess, I would have been so focused on getting you away I wouldn't have been able to get myself out of it."
For what felt like hours they stood still and looked into each other's eyes. Then they both at the exact same time looked away. Mac moved over to the counter and returned the cloth to its place.
"I'm... I'm leaving now."
"OK. I'll see you tomorrow," Harm said quietly.
"Yeah. First thing," Mac said equally quiet. She felt like it would have been appropriate for them to share a hug or something, but she didn't dare walking up so close to him. She waved a little with her hand and then she was gone. Neither one of them slept a lot that night. They were still so wrapped up in their conversation and had a lot to think about.
TBC
OldManFan: If you e-mail me I can explain what I meant. (hermiine85atyahoo.com)
Part 6
In Mac and Mattie's apartment the two inhabitants and Clayton Webb were sitting on the couch and the armchair around the coffee table talking. Webb had been in town for one week and as usual that meant Mac spent less time with Mattie and Harm than she'd normally do. Mac didn't join them for dinner every night as she usually did, but still had breakfast with them every morning. Mattie had been doing her homework when Webb had arrived and after having asked Mac for help a couple of times she had ended up on the couch with them as well. Now they were sitting there talking and laughing
"But isn't the food quite creepy there?" Mattie asked. Webb was just telling them about the trip he had made to Paris when he was Mattie's age.
"No. You just need to remember to either ask carefully what it is before you eat it or not at all. Once you've already eaten it, you don't want to know what it really was."
"Have you ever been to France, Mac?" Mattie asked. Mattie was taking French in school, but right now she was more interested in daydreaming up a trip there than learning French grammar and vocabulary.
"Yeah, but not for long parts of time. A day here and a day there because of work. You don't really get to see a lot then," Mac explained.
Their conversation was interrupted by Harm's characteristic knock on the door.
"Come in," both Mac and Mattie shouted.
"Hi," he said mostly to Webb, whom he hadn't met yet for this visit. "Dinner's ready. Are you coming Mattie?"
"Yeah. Have you made lots of food like always?" Mattie asked and when Harm didn't answer she assumed that so was the case. "Can't Mac and Mr Webb have dinner with us too?"
Harm felt like he was being pushed into a corner. He could accept Mac being with Webb, but having to see them together, he wasn't sure if that would work out.
"I can't decide that. It's up to Mac and Webb," he didn't say no, but he hoped that one of the others would.
"I think it sounds really nice," Webb said hoping to be able to get back some of the friendship that had been between him and Harm before Paraguay.
"Are you sure?" Mac and Harm asked at the same time.
"Sure," Webb nodded and ignored the tense feeling between the two other adults.
"OK. Are you ready to come now?" Harm asked and the other three nodded so he turned around and they walked over to his apartment.
As soon as he opened the door a smell of chicken marinated in garlic and citrus fruit met them.
"It smells delicious, Harm," Mac said. She went to get down two more plates for her and Webb and Mattie took out glasses, knives and forks. Neither one of them had any problems finding stuff around Harm's apartment.
They sat down and the tensions were still rather obvious, even Mattie noticed it, but she wasn't ready to acknowledge that this idea of hers had failed. When the adults weren't talking, she talked even more. Eventually the atmosphere around the table was brightened a bit.
"Mac told me you made an offer for a house," Webb told Harm.
"I did. Unfortunately they got a better one from someone else."
"So are you still looking for a house?" Webb continued to ask.
"I guess. Not very actively though. Things are going well as they are."
"So I hear," Webb said and smiled at Mac. Both Mac and Mattie nodded in agreement with Harm's words. They had both silently hoped that the house- deal would fall through so that they didn't have to leave this current living arrangement.
"So is anyone up for Trivial Pursuit?" Mattie asked.
"Why not?" Mac said and the men also agreed that it would be nice to play.
They sat down around the coffee table and started playing. Harm and Mac were one team and Webb and Mattie one. The latter team won because they had a lot more diversity in their areas of knowledge.
After the game was over, Mattie had to leave to finish the last of her homework assignments before she went to bed. Webb decided now was a good time for him to leave as well and Mac followed him out to the hallway to say goodbye.
"You two are happy, I can see that," Harm said when Mac returned to help him clean everything up. They had already taken care of the washing up right after dinner so there wasn't a lot to do.
"I am. I'm glad you're so... fine with it now," Mac told him sincerely.
"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."
"Thanks. I want that for you too."
"How did you know?" Harm asked suddenly.
"How did I know what?" Mac asked.
"I asked first," Harm said too quickly.
"I know that, Harm, and I'll answer you as soon as I understand the question," she said slowly and pedagogically and smiled encouragingly at him. There was obviously something that was bothering him and she wanted to put him at ease.
"How did you know that I wouldn't make you happy and he would?" he expanded his question.
"I... I didn't know that... It was just a feeling I had at that moment. I wasn't happy. Something had to change. When you didn't fight me on that 'never', I thought you felt the same way. I thought we'd be OK, that we would still be friends like always."
"I didn't feel the same way," Harm admitted to her and all of Mac's assumptions crashed together "But that's too late to say now, right?"
"Right," Mac swallowed three times after having said that word.
They were really already finished cleaning up, but both tried to find new things to do so they could continue being there, talking together. Mac was scrubbing on an imaginary spot on the table. Harm was rearranging the glasses in his cupboard.
"Harm, can I ask you something?" Mac broke the silence.
Harm nodded and she continued.
"Were you disappointed in me when I wasn't there for you when you were in the brig?"
"You're asking me that now;" Harm was a bit shocked. He hadn't expected her to ask him that.
"Yes."
"Why weren't you there?" he asked, but before she could form an answer he continued "No, no, I wasn't disappointed in you. I wanted you as far away from that investigation and that trial as possible."
"When I found out about Manetti's investigation on Singer, I was so disappointed with you. I felt betrayed," Mac could see Harm swallow. Not telling her about his suspicions regarding the father of Singer's baby wasn't something he was proud of. "But that wasn't the reason for me staying away. I wasn't angry with you and I didn't believe that you were guilty. I just didn't know what I could do and we were told to stay away so I just did as I was told. Maybe it was the easy way out, but I just..."
"It's OK, Mac. It's OK. I never doubted your faith in me. There are more ways of being there for someone... Besides chances are if you had gotten involved in that mess, I would have been so focused on getting you away I wouldn't have been able to get myself out of it."
For what felt like hours they stood still and looked into each other's eyes. Then they both at the exact same time looked away. Mac moved over to the counter and returned the cloth to its place.
"I'm... I'm leaving now."
"OK. I'll see you tomorrow," Harm said quietly.
"Yeah. First thing," Mac said equally quiet. She felt like it would have been appropriate for them to share a hug or something, but she didn't dare walking up so close to him. She waved a little with her hand and then she was gone. Neither one of them slept a lot that night. They were still so wrapped up in their conversation and had a lot to think about.
TBC