Part 10
Harm and Mac were sitting on the chairs outside of Mrs. Lemoyne's office. They were both very nervous and anxious. The meeting was already five minutes delayed and it was very tough on their nerves. Exactly one week had gone by since their last meeting with the social worker. After they had told her about what had happened with Mattie's father she had decided to look into the situation again. Maybe there was going to be needed to make some changes in the arrangement.
The following days all three of them, Mac, Harm and Mattie were questioned by Mrs. Lemoyne, who also came by the apartments to see how things were going there.
Mr. Johnson was still nowhere to be find. The police suspected that he had left town, but they couldn't be sure. Mattie had been scared at first that he'd return and Mac or Harm had left early from work in the afternoons to make sure they'd be home when she got home from school. They were happy she seemed to be coming to terms with that part and wasn't as afraid anymore. They weren't going to be able to keep leaving early forever.
It wasn't just fear that had been bothering Mattie. She still hadn't quite gotten over blaming herself for what had happened despite what Mac or Harm would tell her. She felt responsible for her father's fall off the wagon also because she hadn't been keeping up the contact with him the way she had promised Harm she would. Her father hadn't really contacted her either so much and that had caused them to not hear much from each other at all. Something both Mac and Harm had noticed, but hadn't been able to figure out a way to make better. They had tried inviting him over for dinner, but he had declined saying that he didn't feel Mattie was ready for it. Which might have been true, but she wasn't going to be more ready for it if they just continued to avoid each other.
Mattie had talked a little about it with Harm and Mac, but they had soon realized that she needed to talk to someone who wasn't them before she could talk to them. They had pushed her into talking with the school's counselor, but Mattie hadn't liked that at all. After that Harm had taken her to an Alateen-meeting, which she had responded better to.
The thoughts on everything that had happened during the last week went through Harm and Mac's heads as they were sitting outside waiting for Mrs. Lemoyne to call them in. Today she was going to tell them what was going to happen. They were scared that she'd criticize them in everything they had done. Not that she had given the impression that she would they were just imagining the worst case scenario.
"Mr. Rabb, Ms Mackenzie, you can come in now," Mrs. Lemoyne stuck her head out of her office.
Mac gave Harm an encouraging squeeze with her hand on his knee. Mrs. Lemoyne had asked that Mac join Harm for this meeting and she was glad that she got to be there. The two of them had grown even closer in the past week.
"You may sit down," Mrs. Lemoyne told them when they remained standing just inside the door. Harm and Mac did so. "You don't have to be so worried," she tried to calm them both down, but that failed completely.
"OK, so how has this week been for you?"
"Stressful," came the unanimous answer from both Mac and Harm. All three of them smiled a little at that.
"I can see why," Mrs. Lemoyne said and nodded "I had a very nice talk with Mattie last Thursday. She seems like a very mature young lady. I can see that she has developed a lot in the time that she's been living with you two."
Harm and Mac nodded. That was what they thought too.
"She told me you'd forced her to talk to her school counselor about what happened."
"Yeah," Harm said "I think she needed to talk to someone who wasn't so close to the situation. She went to an Alateen meeting yesterday and that seems to work better though."
"So have you two talked to someone else about what happened? Don't you need that too?"
Harm looked down on his shoes and Mac found an interesting bird outside the window that she followed with her eyes. They had actually been talking a lot with each other about it. Harm had spent as much time as he possibly could in Mattie and Mac's apartment. Mac had been forced to convince him not to spend the night right there on the couch.
"We are talking," Mac said.
"To each other," Harm added.
"Well I guess that's good," Mrs. Lemoyne said "During my talk with Mattie some things came up that I'd like to talk to you two about."
Mac swallowed and Harm nodded.
"What happened last Monday definitely shook her up, but I've tried to make myself an opinion on how Mattie is in your care regardless of what happened. From what I can tell Mattie is very pleased with how her life is right now. She says she feels very much at home with you two and that you are a family. She told me about the things you do all together. You are obviously more to her than just a room mate, Ms Mackenzie," she paused and then continued "There were some things that seem to be bothering her though, except for the whole situation with her father. She's worried about what's going to happen at the end of these six months that the judge gave you. Maybe you're aware of that too?"
"Yes," Mac said "I think we feel that way all three of us."
Harm just nodded in agreement.
"There's something else as well. You're looking for a house?" she wanted it confirmed by Harm.
"Yes."
"What's going to happen then?"
Harm looked at her not understanding where she was going or what she wanted him to answer.
"Is Ms Mackenzie going move in to that possible house too? I got the impression that this is something Mattie wonders a lot about, but doesn't dare asking you."
"Ah, well. We haven't really..." Harm started. This was something they hadn't talked about at all and they both knew that they should have. It was just that at the moment it felt too much linked to their personal relationship.
"That's not quite... decided yet," Mac tried.
"To be honest with you. Everything would be a lot better if you were in a relationship."
Mac and Harm had to work really hard at not expressing how much they agreed with her.
"If you were, you could apply for guardianship and custody together then I would have been able to pretty much guarantee that you would get permanent custody of Mattie. As it is now I'm going to recommend to the judge to bring up the hearing as soon as possible and not wait another two months for it. I think it would be in the best interest of Mattie to have something more permanent. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes," Harm said "I think you're right." He wasn't sure if she meant something more permanent as in not them or something more permanent with them. Before he got a chance to ask, Mrs. Lemoyne told him.
"My recommendation is going to be that Mattie stays in your care," Both Mac and Harm sighed in relief at that "Then I'll talk to the judge and you'll talk to each other so that you can answer the judge's question better..." Mrs. Lemoyne smiled at them.
After saying goodbye and Mrs. Lemoyne promising them that she'd call as soon as she knew when the hearing would be, Harm and Mac walked out of the building.
"Do you have to go back to the office?" Mac asked. It was starting to get late in the afternoon and Mac herself had brought with her everything she needed from the office and she believed Harm had done the same.
"No, I don't. We'll go and pick Mattie up and then to the supermarket," Harm suggested.
"We need to talk, Harm," Mac said and Harm knew that she was right. "I think before we tell Mattie about the hearing, we need to talk."
"Now?"
"Why not? Mattie's at Rick's. She won't mind if we get there a little later."
"There's a café over there," Harm pointed at a place across the street. They went over to it and each ordered a cup of coffee.
"So what are we going to do?" Mac asked herself as much as Harm.
"All I know is that I couldn't stand not live this close to you. Not share breakfast, dinner and all those things. All the time we spend together and with Mattie too. I couldn't imagine what that would be like anymore."
"I know. I couldn't either. I want to be where you are," Mac said "It's as simple as that."
"But it isn't that simple right now is it. How do we do this practically? I mean we can't just move in with each other. Everyone still thinks you're with Webb including Mrs. Lemoyne and the judge."
"Harm, I AM still with Webb," Mac reminded him.
"I know that. I'd just rather not remember it all the time."
"It's more of a problem when we don't. I mean I like it too those moments... I just don't like myself afterwards. I'm not like this. I don't do this, I don't start new relationships when I'm still seeing someone else," Mac sighed in disbelief of the fact that she was actually doing those things.
"And you think I'm like this. That I'm the kind of man who pursue women that are already involved with other men."
"No, no. Of course I don't... I just don't want it to be like this anymore. All I want is... all I want is for Webb to return so I can break up with him and that feels even worse in some ways. He's out there doing who knows what for this country and all I can think is; when can I get rid of him?" Mac said. The conversation was getting far from what they were supposed to be discussing, but that didn't mean that it was useless. This was something that they had failed to talk about for a month now and they needed to voice their feelings about it.
Harm hurt so much when he saw all of the suppressed emotions that had been bottled up inside Mac and was just now allowed to get out. Worst of all was that there was nothing that he could do to make it better for her. Unless he wanted to hunt down Webb and force him to come back to Washington. He stretched out his hands and touched her good cheek. The one where she had been hit was still shifting in blue, purple and green. Mac assured everyone who asked that it looked worse than it felt, but he didn't dare touching it anyway.
"Mac, I want you to be happy. I don't want to see you sad... I just don't know what I can do. I don't like this situation either, but right now we can't change it and... I mean it's not like we want to go behind Webb's back, but we can't help how we feel. If he was around you'd break up with him before anything happened between us..."
"Harm..." Mac reached out her hands to take Harm's hand, which was resting on the table, in hers.
"So how about if I find a house to buy, you'll move in there as my tenant. I was looking for something with three bedrooms anyway and I will still need help with Mattie and paying all the expenses for the house... at least that can be the reason we tell the judge."
"I think that sounds like a good plan," Mac brought up her hand to brush away a tear that had escaped her eyes. Harm was quick to take care of it instead.
"Good," Harm nodded "We really need to get going now..."
"I know. Let's pay and get out of here. We need to talk to Mattie."
TBC
Harm and Mac were sitting on the chairs outside of Mrs. Lemoyne's office. They were both very nervous and anxious. The meeting was already five minutes delayed and it was very tough on their nerves. Exactly one week had gone by since their last meeting with the social worker. After they had told her about what had happened with Mattie's father she had decided to look into the situation again. Maybe there was going to be needed to make some changes in the arrangement.
The following days all three of them, Mac, Harm and Mattie were questioned by Mrs. Lemoyne, who also came by the apartments to see how things were going there.
Mr. Johnson was still nowhere to be find. The police suspected that he had left town, but they couldn't be sure. Mattie had been scared at first that he'd return and Mac or Harm had left early from work in the afternoons to make sure they'd be home when she got home from school. They were happy she seemed to be coming to terms with that part and wasn't as afraid anymore. They weren't going to be able to keep leaving early forever.
It wasn't just fear that had been bothering Mattie. She still hadn't quite gotten over blaming herself for what had happened despite what Mac or Harm would tell her. She felt responsible for her father's fall off the wagon also because she hadn't been keeping up the contact with him the way she had promised Harm she would. Her father hadn't really contacted her either so much and that had caused them to not hear much from each other at all. Something both Mac and Harm had noticed, but hadn't been able to figure out a way to make better. They had tried inviting him over for dinner, but he had declined saying that he didn't feel Mattie was ready for it. Which might have been true, but she wasn't going to be more ready for it if they just continued to avoid each other.
Mattie had talked a little about it with Harm and Mac, but they had soon realized that she needed to talk to someone who wasn't them before she could talk to them. They had pushed her into talking with the school's counselor, but Mattie hadn't liked that at all. After that Harm had taken her to an Alateen-meeting, which she had responded better to.
The thoughts on everything that had happened during the last week went through Harm and Mac's heads as they were sitting outside waiting for Mrs. Lemoyne to call them in. Today she was going to tell them what was going to happen. They were scared that she'd criticize them in everything they had done. Not that she had given the impression that she would they were just imagining the worst case scenario.
"Mr. Rabb, Ms Mackenzie, you can come in now," Mrs. Lemoyne stuck her head out of her office.
Mac gave Harm an encouraging squeeze with her hand on his knee. Mrs. Lemoyne had asked that Mac join Harm for this meeting and she was glad that she got to be there. The two of them had grown even closer in the past week.
"You may sit down," Mrs. Lemoyne told them when they remained standing just inside the door. Harm and Mac did so. "You don't have to be so worried," she tried to calm them both down, but that failed completely.
"OK, so how has this week been for you?"
"Stressful," came the unanimous answer from both Mac and Harm. All three of them smiled a little at that.
"I can see why," Mrs. Lemoyne said and nodded "I had a very nice talk with Mattie last Thursday. She seems like a very mature young lady. I can see that she has developed a lot in the time that she's been living with you two."
Harm and Mac nodded. That was what they thought too.
"She told me you'd forced her to talk to her school counselor about what happened."
"Yeah," Harm said "I think she needed to talk to someone who wasn't so close to the situation. She went to an Alateen meeting yesterday and that seems to work better though."
"So have you two talked to someone else about what happened? Don't you need that too?"
Harm looked down on his shoes and Mac found an interesting bird outside the window that she followed with her eyes. They had actually been talking a lot with each other about it. Harm had spent as much time as he possibly could in Mattie and Mac's apartment. Mac had been forced to convince him not to spend the night right there on the couch.
"We are talking," Mac said.
"To each other," Harm added.
"Well I guess that's good," Mrs. Lemoyne said "During my talk with Mattie some things came up that I'd like to talk to you two about."
Mac swallowed and Harm nodded.
"What happened last Monday definitely shook her up, but I've tried to make myself an opinion on how Mattie is in your care regardless of what happened. From what I can tell Mattie is very pleased with how her life is right now. She says she feels very much at home with you two and that you are a family. She told me about the things you do all together. You are obviously more to her than just a room mate, Ms Mackenzie," she paused and then continued "There were some things that seem to be bothering her though, except for the whole situation with her father. She's worried about what's going to happen at the end of these six months that the judge gave you. Maybe you're aware of that too?"
"Yes," Mac said "I think we feel that way all three of us."
Harm just nodded in agreement.
"There's something else as well. You're looking for a house?" she wanted it confirmed by Harm.
"Yes."
"What's going to happen then?"
Harm looked at her not understanding where she was going or what she wanted him to answer.
"Is Ms Mackenzie going move in to that possible house too? I got the impression that this is something Mattie wonders a lot about, but doesn't dare asking you."
"Ah, well. We haven't really..." Harm started. This was something they hadn't talked about at all and they both knew that they should have. It was just that at the moment it felt too much linked to their personal relationship.
"That's not quite... decided yet," Mac tried.
"To be honest with you. Everything would be a lot better if you were in a relationship."
Mac and Harm had to work really hard at not expressing how much they agreed with her.
"If you were, you could apply for guardianship and custody together then I would have been able to pretty much guarantee that you would get permanent custody of Mattie. As it is now I'm going to recommend to the judge to bring up the hearing as soon as possible and not wait another two months for it. I think it would be in the best interest of Mattie to have something more permanent. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes," Harm said "I think you're right." He wasn't sure if she meant something more permanent as in not them or something more permanent with them. Before he got a chance to ask, Mrs. Lemoyne told him.
"My recommendation is going to be that Mattie stays in your care," Both Mac and Harm sighed in relief at that "Then I'll talk to the judge and you'll talk to each other so that you can answer the judge's question better..." Mrs. Lemoyne smiled at them.
After saying goodbye and Mrs. Lemoyne promising them that she'd call as soon as she knew when the hearing would be, Harm and Mac walked out of the building.
"Do you have to go back to the office?" Mac asked. It was starting to get late in the afternoon and Mac herself had brought with her everything she needed from the office and she believed Harm had done the same.
"No, I don't. We'll go and pick Mattie up and then to the supermarket," Harm suggested.
"We need to talk, Harm," Mac said and Harm knew that she was right. "I think before we tell Mattie about the hearing, we need to talk."
"Now?"
"Why not? Mattie's at Rick's. She won't mind if we get there a little later."
"There's a café over there," Harm pointed at a place across the street. They went over to it and each ordered a cup of coffee.
"So what are we going to do?" Mac asked herself as much as Harm.
"All I know is that I couldn't stand not live this close to you. Not share breakfast, dinner and all those things. All the time we spend together and with Mattie too. I couldn't imagine what that would be like anymore."
"I know. I couldn't either. I want to be where you are," Mac said "It's as simple as that."
"But it isn't that simple right now is it. How do we do this practically? I mean we can't just move in with each other. Everyone still thinks you're with Webb including Mrs. Lemoyne and the judge."
"Harm, I AM still with Webb," Mac reminded him.
"I know that. I'd just rather not remember it all the time."
"It's more of a problem when we don't. I mean I like it too those moments... I just don't like myself afterwards. I'm not like this. I don't do this, I don't start new relationships when I'm still seeing someone else," Mac sighed in disbelief of the fact that she was actually doing those things.
"And you think I'm like this. That I'm the kind of man who pursue women that are already involved with other men."
"No, no. Of course I don't... I just don't want it to be like this anymore. All I want is... all I want is for Webb to return so I can break up with him and that feels even worse in some ways. He's out there doing who knows what for this country and all I can think is; when can I get rid of him?" Mac said. The conversation was getting far from what they were supposed to be discussing, but that didn't mean that it was useless. This was something that they had failed to talk about for a month now and they needed to voice their feelings about it.
Harm hurt so much when he saw all of the suppressed emotions that had been bottled up inside Mac and was just now allowed to get out. Worst of all was that there was nothing that he could do to make it better for her. Unless he wanted to hunt down Webb and force him to come back to Washington. He stretched out his hands and touched her good cheek. The one where she had been hit was still shifting in blue, purple and green. Mac assured everyone who asked that it looked worse than it felt, but he didn't dare touching it anyway.
"Mac, I want you to be happy. I don't want to see you sad... I just don't know what I can do. I don't like this situation either, but right now we can't change it and... I mean it's not like we want to go behind Webb's back, but we can't help how we feel. If he was around you'd break up with him before anything happened between us..."
"Harm..." Mac reached out her hands to take Harm's hand, which was resting on the table, in hers.
"So how about if I find a house to buy, you'll move in there as my tenant. I was looking for something with three bedrooms anyway and I will still need help with Mattie and paying all the expenses for the house... at least that can be the reason we tell the judge."
"I think that sounds like a good plan," Mac brought up her hand to brush away a tear that had escaped her eyes. Harm was quick to take care of it instead.
"Good," Harm nodded "We really need to get going now..."
"I know. Let's pay and get out of here. We need to talk to Mattie."
TBC