An Impossible Love
Chapter: The only way to stop people from hurting you is to hurt yourself
"Don't tou..."I quickly stopped it wasn't Jt it was...."him" great I thought he had heard and seen Jt make a complete fool of me in front of everyone
"Um...are you okay I saw what happened" He said softly I just looked at him and slid down a locker
"I'm fine I mean I have no feelings I don't deserve any I mean after what I did I only get what I deserve" I said breaking down into tears
"Listen um...Manny right no one deserves what he said about you I mean I know I'm just a teacher and know n...."He started but I cut him off quickly growing upset with him surprisingly though I found him very attractive and sweet he knew nothing about me
"Please I know your trying to help but please you don't know anything about me or anything that I've done so don't lecture me about what I do and don't deserve" I said getting up to walk away he lightly grabbed my arm and turned me around and as I pulled away my jacket lightly lifted up and I could see his eyes widened in surprise
"What is that" He said as I quickly pulled my jacket down
"Nothing please um..." I started not knowing his name
"Mr. Clark but call me Lance" He said looking at me with concern
"Listen I know what your trying to do and I don't need your help okay it's nothing really really I just have a cat and it has a scratching problem I promise it's nothing more " I said trying to convince him so he would just go away and mind his business
"Okay but if it turns out to be more I'll be here to help" He said placing his hand on my shoulder
"You can help me....You can stop everyone from talking behind my back, whispering and glaring at me even my friends hate me and The school's Ms. Perfect is making her personal duty to make my life hell forever and I finally thought that being with Jt would fix that but it didn't so sorry Mr. Clark I don't think you can help and I didn't even get started on my home life okay so please just do what you've come here to do and that's teach Music not try to be my own personal Superman" I said walking away now knowing I was wrong about this Lance or Mr. Clark he wasn't the man of my dreams he was just a younger Mr. Simpson someone who thought he could help students as well as teach them that's not what I need and not from him I don't even know him
"Manny I want to be a friend" He said I quickly turned around looking at him disgusted
"I don't want you to be my friend your not here to be my friend your here to be my teacher and that's it" I said storming away it was a official I soo hated this "Mr. Clark" I looked over my shoulder and saw him about to come after me but being stopped by Mr.Raditach talking to him I continued to walk down the hall turning the corner hopping everyone who had witnessed the scene had left but of course my luck had failed and she saw as I tried to turn back around and go back she saw and I knew she's make me feel like shit even after what Jt had done she was going to make things worst I could see it in her eyes the smirk on her face coming towards me and it was like she knew my pain and wanted to make it worst no matter how bad I felt I quickly stared backing up
"Ashley Please I don't need..." I started but she quickly cut me off
"What you don't need what another reason to fell like the trash you are all this is your fault Manny if you weren't such a slut I would feel bad for you but you Brought it among yourself you wonder why no guy can trust you and no guy wants a real relationship because all you are is a slut and I don't pity you I pity Jt for thinking he could change you make you a better person it's a shame and if you really wanted to become somewhat a better a person" She said looking at me in disgusting like I was not even human the words cut me like a knife I could feel tears streaming down my face as I quickly backed away not even trying to even explain anything to Ashley I didn't have it in me running into the Girls washroom
"Hun that was just mean I mean I know what she did was bad but don't you think you've put her through enough" Paige said to Ashley
"Paige like you always said I'm not mean I'm right and she deserves it after what she did to me she deserves it" Ashley said storming off to class
I pushed the door opened and began to pace crying until I could feel my stomach aching. I tried to keep pacing but I stopped and slid down in front of a stall door. I looked under each stall and pulled out a nail fail from my backpack and placing it at my arm and cutting my arm deep making sure it bled making sure it hurt. I wanted it to hurt I need it to hurt to get away from everything I could feel tears falling as I cut but this time it wasn't because of anything someone else it was because I what I did to myself and it though it may sound crazy it made me feel better to be the one hurting me and not anyone else. I loved how it felt though it wasn't the first time I've done but it was the first time I felt good about it. I've cut myself before but they were small and they didn't help though I knew that in a few minutes when I went back into the halls I would be hurting again in pain again right now I was in charge of that pain and that's how I wanted it to stay.
I'm kind of confused can you all tell if you want to hear about Liberty. I only am able to update on the weekend starting Wednesday I start school then.