THUMPITYTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP
"Oh...ohmygod-"
"I'm not hearing this I'm not hearing this," Boots muttered, pacing back and forth in front of his bedroom wall. The bedroom wall deliciously decorated with pictures of his boyfriend, De Niro and the goddess Cher. Cher wouldn't like what was going on at the other side of the wall man...
"YESYESYES-"
Ok she defiantly would...
"Not hearing not hearing not hearing-"
The wall began to vibrate as the thumping sound grew louder.
"AAAAAH I'M DEAF I'M DEAF!" Boots screamed running out of his room, slamming his door behind him. The moaning slowly decreased as he ran into the living room, throwing himself onto their crappy couch. He squished himself into one of the corners and pulled his knees up to his chin. Stupid Snoddy realizing he was gay. Stupid getting Swifty and Snoddy together. Stupid Swifty being so damn HORNY.
Boots sighed and rested his chin on his knees. And stupid Snipeshooter being in STUpid California with all those stupid tanned buff gorgeous blue-eyed surfer men while he was stuck here, in lousy Brooklyn with its bad weather and its STUPID ROOMATES.
They had only been together for a frickin' WEEK and they'd probably already worn the bedsprings out twice over and were screwing on the floor.
"Oh Ew...eweweweweewewew." Boots started slapping at his face. "Mental image mentalimageaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah GO AWAAAAAAAY."
He jumped off the couch and started pacing back and forth, thoughts running through his mind. Snipeshooter hadn't called him in a week. A frickin' WEEK there must be a reason for that. And he had seemed preoccupied online two days ago. And he wasn't even ON last night THERE HAD TO BE A REASON and he was TANNED BUFF GORGEOUS BLUE-EYED AND COULD SURF.
"How can I compete with THAT?" Boots said out loud, dramatically throwing himself on the couch again. It had been five months since they said good-bye. FIIIIIVE damnit. He must've wised up finally and got bored.
Boots rolled over on his back and stared at the peeling ceiling. Maybe Shipeshooter WOULD come...he had hinted as much in that stupid survey...Boots' heart lifted a little as his imagination took flight.
Maybe he was walking up the stairs right now, his hair curly and crazy, wearing his white shirt untucked and sexy...holding FLOWERS...and he would say "Missed me, gorgeous?" in that voice that made him want to take off all his clothes, jump ontop of him and
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Boots sat up and stared at the front door, the buzzer interrupting his daydream. Could it be...?
He walked over to the intercom and pressed the button, barely breathing.
"Y-es?"
"Package for Mr...Boots?" Boots heart sunk. Delivery guy. AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHH
"Sure, come up," Boots said half-heartedly, pressing the buzzer. He didn't feel like getting another package from Mush now.
He mopingly walked over to Swifty's room, where it seemed the two had finished...playing.
"Guuuuys," he whined "Can one of you get the door when the bell rings?"
"I'm only wearing a shirt."
"I'm naked!"
Diiiiiiiing Dooooong.
"Gaaaaaaaah." Boots dragged himself to the door and opened it. The stupid face of a stupid UPS man looked back. He was panting slightly and wiped his forehead with his sleeve.
"Oh no, I'll wait," Boots said sarcastically.
"S-sorry," the guy said, "But it was heavy." He pointed next to him where the BIGGEST package Boots had ever seen lay. His mouth dropped open.
"Are you sure that's for me?" He asked, staring at the box.
"Are you BOOTS?" The man asked, playing the I'm a Stupid Cynical Delivery Guy Who Hates His Life so Much He Should Be Working for the Post Office game.
"Yah," said Boots, scuffing his boots against his floor.
"Then this is for YOU! Sign," The Delivery Guy said, shoving the signing thingy into Boots' hands.
"Which name?" He asked sardonically, glaring.
"You mean Boots isn't your REAL name?!"
"No, it's Baba Boohey," Boots said sarcastically, scribbling Derek Johnson on the form.
The Delivery Guy looked at the signature as Boots pulled the box in the apartment.
"Hey, your name's not Baba Boohey..."
"And yours isn't Einstein."
He slammed the door shut and shook his head. Yah, like people chose to be Delivery Guys...
He stared at the box, cocking his head. The box wasn't so much as a package than a giant crate. Who the hell would send him something this...big? What if it was from some serial killer who mailed killer karate fighting gorillas in a box? Or something?
The box moved. "OH MY GOD KILLER MONKEY!" Boots screamed, clutching his chest. It moved again and Boots jumped, looking frantically around for something to hit the box with. AhhhHA HAT STAND.
He grabbed the hat stand (which was twice the size of him) and brought it as far above his head and he could manage (not very). He was about to bring it down before he heard it.
"Boots, open the damned box!"
He froze, the hat stand frozen right above the box. No, he just WANTED to hear that, he couldn't have POSSIBLY
"Boooooooooooots!"
"OH MY GAY AUNT!" Boots threw the hat stand in back of him and frantically tried to open the box.
"You nailed it shut?"
"THAT'S the first thing you ask?!"
"Wait right here, I need to get a crowbar or something..."
"Oh, oh all right, but hurry kay cauuuuse I think that I have an appointment with Thomas Jefferson and the QUEEN to have some tea and crumpets!"
"Good boy."
Boots ran to the kitchen, skidding on the floor. WHO THE HELL WOULD MOP THE FLOOR AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!
"Oh look, the wall." BAM
Boots shook his head to clear the birdies that were flying around his eyes. Now where was he...
"OH RIGHT CROWBAR!" He shouted, looking frantically around without really moving. Wait...why would there be a crowbar...in the kitchen...
"DAMN," he muttered. Maybe if he just went back into the living room and kicked the box until it broke he would free Snipeshooter...
The sun decided to help him on his quest as it shined through the window, making something glint out of the corner of his eyes. A SERVING FORK.
But not just any serving fork no no this serving fork is five times the size of any other serving forks out there in the land of utensils that's right folks this fork can not only be called a weapon but it also is one of the strongest ever-
Boots grabbed the serving fork, thanking Cher that Swifty was an insomniac who bought ridiculous items at three in the morning and ran back into the living room where his beloved lay in a friggin box.
"Snipes are you still in there?!" He yelled, slamming into his boyfriend's little house.
"Oh no, no, I'm walking the dog."
"Ok, I'm getting you out," Boots said, ignoring the sarcasm coming from the crates depths. He placed the fork in back of one of the nails and pushed. The nail slowly began to come out of the box.
"Man Snipes, this GOTTA be illegal," Boots panted as the nail popped out.
"Not when you know people in UPZ who will ship you for very little, no questions asked."
Boots strained against the next nail. "You couldn't've just bought a plane ticket?" He muttered. "How the hell did you get in there?"
"Oh I just hopped in and with my magic wand-"
"Do you want to stay in there?"
"...Bumlets..."
"Good boy," Boots said as the third nail came out. Only three more to go...
"Would you go any faster if I told you I was naked?"
"No," Boots said as he strained harder on the nail COME OUT COME OUT COME OUT
"I think I hear the little beaver working harder actually."
"Shut up man!" Stupid nails... "Damn, how long was this little excursion anyway?"
"What time is it now?"
"Eleven in the morning..."
"Around eleven hours then." Snipes voice became pleading as he continued, "Can you hurry? I really have to pee..."
"YES!" Boots shouted as the last nail popped out. He grabbed the top of the crate and threw it to the side.
Snipeshooter jumped up with a magnificent "TADA!" Boots just looked at him, taking in his messier-than-usual hair, smiling eyes, perfect lips...
"You're...you're...wearing clothes," Boots whispered, suddenly shy.
"I know," Snipeshooter whispered back, smiling in Boot's russet eyes.
Without thought, Boots grabbed Snipeshooter's face and kissed him with five months of built up passion. Snipeshooter kissed back with all the fervor he didn't know existed in his travel-worn body. The apartment disappeared, the half open crate was no longer there, urinary needs were forgotten as they melted into one with their kiss.
They stopped and just hugged, clutching the other as though the other was to become vapor at any moment.
"I can't believe you're here," Boots whispered into Snipe's hair, his breath tickling him.
"I finally came to you darling," Snipeshooter whispered back. "But I really do have to use the bathroom now..."
Boots pulled away and looked into his boyfriend's eyes. "Down the hall and to the right."
Snipeshooter stepped out of the crate, quickly brushed his lips against Boots' and sprinted down the hall.
"Oh shit Snipes not there!"
"JESUS put on some pants..."
END CHAPTER
Author's Note: ::ducks as people throw rotting fruit:: I'm sooooo sorry everybody- I've been extremely overworked, and recently very, VERY sick and I had to spend a few months in the hospital. I'm still not better, but I'm stable and stuff so I decided to write. I have a lot of plot bunnies for a lot of my stories and some new ones so watch out world! Haha, thank you all for being so patient. Kisses to everybody. =D!
SHOUT OUTS! People probably forgot about this thing...
Kellyanne: What happened to you?! Dude I miss you! I hope you're still reading this, thanks for the review =D
Inquisitive: DARLIN'! HI! WOOO!! Thanks for the review SEE I UPDATED I'm a good girl now! ::dances:: I hope you're still reading this hehe
Dakota-Jones: Lookit me I updated! Thank you so much for the review don't be too mad at me please! ::cowers::
SpotLover421: DUUUUDE hi! You changed your name I know but this is what I know off the top o me head. Thanks for the review =D
Oneconfusednewsie: ARGH I am sorry you told me to update soon and...well we know the end of this story. Thank you for the review I hope you still read it =X
Shadowlands: A...hehehe I updated =D Are you happy or do you want to kill me?! Meh! ::glomps:: muahahaha get on AIM!Chicago: I miss you! Did you discapeer from fanfiction for good ::teary eyed:: I miss you anyway ::blows nose:: COME BACK!
Shakesegurl: DUDEY! You're so gone from the computer it's not even funny...I miss you so much! I hope you get internet access again SOON my love!
Nakia Aidan-Sun: AHAHAHA SEE THIS?! IT'S AN UPDATE! YAY! Thanks for the review =D
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Liams Kitten: Oh pffft like I need to say anything to you BLAH...I LOVE YOU MY LOVERLY DOVERLY BABY HEAD! ::glomperific::
I'll try to update, I promise guys. Ilove you all! Thank you for still reading...whoever is...
Alarice