Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad people still like it. Carter will come back when he's good and ready, which should be pretty soon.
Chapter 10 - Powerless
I'm woken up by Leah's cries. I shield my eyes as I switch on my bedside light and groggily look at the clock. 2.30. Great! I force myself out of my lovely warm, comfy bed as her cries increase in volume.
"Sssshhhh!" I say gently as I lean over and pick her up. "How's my little darling this morning? Hey?" Her crying becomes less desperate. After changing her the screwed up red face soon becomes a relaxed happy one. Curious eyes watching me.
"Are you ready for today? Mommy's not going to be with you all day. Aunty Susan's going to look after you though isn't she! She needs the practise before she has her own little angel. Yes she does!"
It's the end of May and my maternity leave is almost up and I'm down for my first shift at ten. Only a half shift as a nurse to get back into the swing of things slowly. Susan had offered to take her for the day instead of me worrying about leaving her in day care but I'm still going to worry, my first full day without her. How were we going to manage? I'm still talking aimlessly at her yet she seems content to listen for now. I place her back in her cot and collapse back in bed, if I'm lucky I might get another hours sleep before I have to get up properly.
"Are you sure you'll be all right?"
"I'm sure we'll manage won't we Leah?" Susan had come round at nine like we'd arranged, I'd managed to get that extra hour, not that it had done much good, I was still shattered before I even started work.
"Right' there's a list on the table, milk is in the fridge, diapers are in the bedroom. I should be back by five. You'll call me if anything goes wrong won't you?"
"Yes! Now go or you'll be late and Romano will be on your back all day." She sounds slightly exasperated with me already.
"Thanks Susan I owe you."
"I'll remember that! Go!" I give Leah a last kiss before hurrying out of my apartment towards the El.
"Hey Abby!" I was greeted by Chuni as soon as I stepped foot into the ER. I was soon engulfed in a hug.
"Hey Chuni!"
"It's great to have you back. Where's Leah?"
"Susan's taken her for the day."
"I wanted to see her, you'll bring her in soon, right?"
"I promise." I'd avoided bringing her in before, I think she's spent enough of her short life in hospital already. The only time she'd seen the ER was when we'd been discharged other than that the only people who had met her where those who came to visit us. By this point I was surrounded by a few other people who then quickly dispersed as Romano came into view, yelling as normal.
"Does no one do any work around here?" Spying me he had to give one of his comments
"I should have known it'd be you causing all the commotion. I'm sure everyone will be happier to have you back after you've started to pull your weight. Here." He dumps a pile of charts in my arms. Welcome back Abby! I turn to head towards the lounge.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I grit my teeth.
"To put my stuff in my locker."
"Well hurry up you're late." I disappear through the lounge doors before he can say anything else, letting out a sigh as I do so.
"Bad day all ready?" I'm met by Luka's more friendly face.
"Hey Luka. No just Romano being a jerk as usual."
"Don't worry about it."
"I won't." I dump the charts down on the table taking of my jacket and putting on a scrub top instead.
"How is she?" I close my locker and turn to pick up the charts.
"Leah's good, though I don't know how Susan's going to manage, or me for that matter."
"You'll both be fine." He gives me a reassuring smile.
"Well the quicker I get out there the quicker I get home. I'll see you later Luka." I exit the lounge out into the chaos that is the ER.
"Abby, Susan on line two." Haleh pops her head round the door of the exam room.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know, I'll take over if you want to take it."
"Thanks." I rush off a million thoughts running through my head at once, what's the matter with Leah?
"Susan?"
"Hey Abby."
"What's wrong?"
"Oh nothings wrong, I just thought you'd like an update." I let out a sigh of relief, thank God nothings the matter.
"How are you both doing then?"
"Fine, we're having fun, we went for a little walk, not far mind. We've both eaten and soon someone's going to have a little nap. Do you want to speak to her?"
"Sure." I know it's daft seeing as it'd be a one-sided conversation but hey.
"Hello darling, mommy's going to be home in a bit. I hope you're being good for Aunty Susan. I'll see you soon, bye bye baby."
"Bye bye mommy."
"Susan stop it."
"Sorry, she smiled you know when she heard your voice."
"Really?"
"Yep, anyway I better put her down. I'll see you soon. Bye."
"Bye." Hang up relieved to find out everything's fine I just can't wait for this shift to be over, only another three hours to go, hopefully it'll be quiet, I'm so tired already.
"Abby GSW coming in now!" so much for quiet.
I sink into the couch; finally it's over. I never thought it'd be this tiring taking half a shift. How am I going to manage when I come back properly? I change and grab a drink, giving myself five minutes to sit down before I head home.
"You made it then?" Luka enters the lounge.
"Barely! Want a drink?"
"A coffee would be great."
"Coming right up. You off?"
"Yep, only an hour later than I should have been."
"Tough case?"
"Yeah, we tried for ages but the boy still died."
"I'm sorry." I hand him the coffee.
"We tried our best. Thanks." We sit in silence mulling over our day. He breaks it first.
"Do you want a lift?"
"Are you sure?"
"Doesn't make any difference to me."
"Thanks, it'll mean I can get back to Susan quicker."
"Give me a minute to drink this and we'll get going."
"Thanks Luka, do you want to come up?"
"Sure, I'd love to." We climb out of his car and head towards my apartment. I force open the door and we are met by a screaming baby and a frustrated looking Susan.
"Thank God you're here! I can't get her to stop crying, I've changed her, fed her, rocked her, everything!"
"Give her here, perhaps she just wants to see her mommy, hey?" I take her out of Susan's arms, cradling her as I walk round my apartment. "That's better isn't it sweetie?" She calms down and after a minute or two is lying happily in my arms.
"How do you do that?" Susan says amazed.
"Like I said she just needed her mom!" I laugh at her. Susan throws her hands up in dispair.
"I think she just hates me!"
"No she doesn't she's been fine most of the day hasn't she?"
"Yeah."
"Well there you go she doesn't hate you."
"This baby thing is harder than I remember."
"You've done a great job Susan, don't let her bad mood put you off." I move to the kitchen and put the kettle on, still holding Leah in one arm."
"Tea?" I get a 'please' from both Luka and Susan. "Sit down both of you. Luka would you mind holding her?"
"Is it safe?" He jokes.
"Don't worry she only hates Susan."
"Hey!" Susan shouts from the couch. Leah starts to fuss as soon as I pass her over, Luka mumbles something inaudible to her and she starts to settle.
"See she likes you."
"It's nothing personal Susan, here." I pass her her drink. Luka is still saying things to Leah, in what sounds like Croatian, she seems content to lie there staring into his face.
"You are really good with kids you know Luka."
"I've had the practise." Me and my big mouth again, bringing up his past. "It's all right you know." He must have seen the look on my face. "It's all happy memories." He smiles, flashing his teeth, he looks so right sat there holding Leah.
"Well I better be off, I need to get some sleep before my shift tomorrow." Susan forces herself up.
"Thanks Susan, like I said this morning I owe you one."
"You sure do!"
"I'll give you a ride if you want, I should be going too." He stands up gently passing me Leah. "Thanks Abby, it's good to see you both again."
"Thanks for the ride, I'll see you both in a couple of days."
"Bye!" I shut the door on the two of them and sit down, looking at my little daughter thinking how lucky I am to have her, as she drifts off to sleep in my arms, a place I soon follow her to.
Chapter 10 - Powerless
I'm woken up by Leah's cries. I shield my eyes as I switch on my bedside light and groggily look at the clock. 2.30. Great! I force myself out of my lovely warm, comfy bed as her cries increase in volume.
"Sssshhhh!" I say gently as I lean over and pick her up. "How's my little darling this morning? Hey?" Her crying becomes less desperate. After changing her the screwed up red face soon becomes a relaxed happy one. Curious eyes watching me.
"Are you ready for today? Mommy's not going to be with you all day. Aunty Susan's going to look after you though isn't she! She needs the practise before she has her own little angel. Yes she does!"
It's the end of May and my maternity leave is almost up and I'm down for my first shift at ten. Only a half shift as a nurse to get back into the swing of things slowly. Susan had offered to take her for the day instead of me worrying about leaving her in day care but I'm still going to worry, my first full day without her. How were we going to manage? I'm still talking aimlessly at her yet she seems content to listen for now. I place her back in her cot and collapse back in bed, if I'm lucky I might get another hours sleep before I have to get up properly.
"Are you sure you'll be all right?"
"I'm sure we'll manage won't we Leah?" Susan had come round at nine like we'd arranged, I'd managed to get that extra hour, not that it had done much good, I was still shattered before I even started work.
"Right' there's a list on the table, milk is in the fridge, diapers are in the bedroom. I should be back by five. You'll call me if anything goes wrong won't you?"
"Yes! Now go or you'll be late and Romano will be on your back all day." She sounds slightly exasperated with me already.
"Thanks Susan I owe you."
"I'll remember that! Go!" I give Leah a last kiss before hurrying out of my apartment towards the El.
"Hey Abby!" I was greeted by Chuni as soon as I stepped foot into the ER. I was soon engulfed in a hug.
"Hey Chuni!"
"It's great to have you back. Where's Leah?"
"Susan's taken her for the day."
"I wanted to see her, you'll bring her in soon, right?"
"I promise." I'd avoided bringing her in before, I think she's spent enough of her short life in hospital already. The only time she'd seen the ER was when we'd been discharged other than that the only people who had met her where those who came to visit us. By this point I was surrounded by a few other people who then quickly dispersed as Romano came into view, yelling as normal.
"Does no one do any work around here?" Spying me he had to give one of his comments
"I should have known it'd be you causing all the commotion. I'm sure everyone will be happier to have you back after you've started to pull your weight. Here." He dumps a pile of charts in my arms. Welcome back Abby! I turn to head towards the lounge.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I grit my teeth.
"To put my stuff in my locker."
"Well hurry up you're late." I disappear through the lounge doors before he can say anything else, letting out a sigh as I do so.
"Bad day all ready?" I'm met by Luka's more friendly face.
"Hey Luka. No just Romano being a jerk as usual."
"Don't worry about it."
"I won't." I dump the charts down on the table taking of my jacket and putting on a scrub top instead.
"How is she?" I close my locker and turn to pick up the charts.
"Leah's good, though I don't know how Susan's going to manage, or me for that matter."
"You'll both be fine." He gives me a reassuring smile.
"Well the quicker I get out there the quicker I get home. I'll see you later Luka." I exit the lounge out into the chaos that is the ER.
"Abby, Susan on line two." Haleh pops her head round the door of the exam room.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know, I'll take over if you want to take it."
"Thanks." I rush off a million thoughts running through my head at once, what's the matter with Leah?
"Susan?"
"Hey Abby."
"What's wrong?"
"Oh nothings wrong, I just thought you'd like an update." I let out a sigh of relief, thank God nothings the matter.
"How are you both doing then?"
"Fine, we're having fun, we went for a little walk, not far mind. We've both eaten and soon someone's going to have a little nap. Do you want to speak to her?"
"Sure." I know it's daft seeing as it'd be a one-sided conversation but hey.
"Hello darling, mommy's going to be home in a bit. I hope you're being good for Aunty Susan. I'll see you soon, bye bye baby."
"Bye bye mommy."
"Susan stop it."
"Sorry, she smiled you know when she heard your voice."
"Really?"
"Yep, anyway I better put her down. I'll see you soon. Bye."
"Bye." Hang up relieved to find out everything's fine I just can't wait for this shift to be over, only another three hours to go, hopefully it'll be quiet, I'm so tired already.
"Abby GSW coming in now!" so much for quiet.
I sink into the couch; finally it's over. I never thought it'd be this tiring taking half a shift. How am I going to manage when I come back properly? I change and grab a drink, giving myself five minutes to sit down before I head home.
"You made it then?" Luka enters the lounge.
"Barely! Want a drink?"
"A coffee would be great."
"Coming right up. You off?"
"Yep, only an hour later than I should have been."
"Tough case?"
"Yeah, we tried for ages but the boy still died."
"I'm sorry." I hand him the coffee.
"We tried our best. Thanks." We sit in silence mulling over our day. He breaks it first.
"Do you want a lift?"
"Are you sure?"
"Doesn't make any difference to me."
"Thanks, it'll mean I can get back to Susan quicker."
"Give me a minute to drink this and we'll get going."
"Thanks Luka, do you want to come up?"
"Sure, I'd love to." We climb out of his car and head towards my apartment. I force open the door and we are met by a screaming baby and a frustrated looking Susan.
"Thank God you're here! I can't get her to stop crying, I've changed her, fed her, rocked her, everything!"
"Give her here, perhaps she just wants to see her mommy, hey?" I take her out of Susan's arms, cradling her as I walk round my apartment. "That's better isn't it sweetie?" She calms down and after a minute or two is lying happily in my arms.
"How do you do that?" Susan says amazed.
"Like I said she just needed her mom!" I laugh at her. Susan throws her hands up in dispair.
"I think she just hates me!"
"No she doesn't she's been fine most of the day hasn't she?"
"Yeah."
"Well there you go she doesn't hate you."
"This baby thing is harder than I remember."
"You've done a great job Susan, don't let her bad mood put you off." I move to the kitchen and put the kettle on, still holding Leah in one arm."
"Tea?" I get a 'please' from both Luka and Susan. "Sit down both of you. Luka would you mind holding her?"
"Is it safe?" He jokes.
"Don't worry she only hates Susan."
"Hey!" Susan shouts from the couch. Leah starts to fuss as soon as I pass her over, Luka mumbles something inaudible to her and she starts to settle.
"See she likes you."
"It's nothing personal Susan, here." I pass her her drink. Luka is still saying things to Leah, in what sounds like Croatian, she seems content to lie there staring into his face.
"You are really good with kids you know Luka."
"I've had the practise." Me and my big mouth again, bringing up his past. "It's all right you know." He must have seen the look on my face. "It's all happy memories." He smiles, flashing his teeth, he looks so right sat there holding Leah.
"Well I better be off, I need to get some sleep before my shift tomorrow." Susan forces herself up.
"Thanks Susan, like I said this morning I owe you one."
"You sure do!"
"I'll give you a ride if you want, I should be going too." He stands up gently passing me Leah. "Thanks Abby, it's good to see you both again."
"Thanks for the ride, I'll see you both in a couple of days."
"Bye!" I shut the door on the two of them and sit down, looking at my little daughter thinking how lucky I am to have her, as she drifts off to sleep in my arms, a place I soon follow her to.