Wow! All those reviews for me! Thank you! I'm really glad you like it, some responses to your reviews are at the end. I hope this next bit is good enough as I found it really hard to write and have three different versions of it on my computer, but I think this is the best one.
Chapter 14 - Honest Questions
"She's not Susan's. She's yours."
Again there's nothing but silence between us. I want to look at him but I'm scared, what's going through his head right now? He turns back around towards us and steps slowly closer to the cot until he's touching it. From the corner of my eye I can see him looking down at her.
"She's..?"
I nod, then force myself to look up at him. His expression has changed once again. Tears are once more in his eyes, but not from sadness, the start of a smile forming on his lips. As I'm looking at him tears also form in my eyes, I wondered what this moment was going to be like but I didn't imagine this. His eyes meet mine, we are locked together with a gaze that conveys all our thoughts and feelings to the other. He finally looks away back to Leah.
"Can I touch her?" I nod, she's his daughter.
"Try not to wake her." I whisper. He gingerly stretches out a hand and touches the side of her face. I can tell he's lost in her just like I was when I first held her.
After a while I move back to the kitchen, leaving him there lost in his daughter, unable to break the spell that has been cast in the room. I tackle the dishes that are stacked up in the sink, not knowing what else to do. A million different thoughts stampeding round my head. He came back. He came back to me. Why to me, of all people? What does it mean that he chose me? What does he want, expect? More importantly what do I want? There's only one thought that keeps repeating itself though. He came back to me after things fell apart in Africa. Did he think he could just pick up where we left off? That nothing had changed. Why was I so stupid, why did I tell him about Leah? I hear him enter the room, quietly closing the door behind him. I don't turn around, concentrating on the plate I have in my hand. He stays there for a while obviously as unsure as I am as to what happens now. I'm still working on the same plate when he breaks the silence
"Abby."
"What?" I reply quickly sounding angrier than I'd intended, turning to face him at the same time. He throws me a confused look.
"What's wrong?" I turn back round, dropping the plate back in the sink. I try to keep my voice calm as I ask
"What do you want Carter?"
"Nothing." I turn to face him again.
"Why did you come here?"
"I needed to talk." He meets my eye and then looks away again.
"You disappear for months, dump me with a letter, hook up with someone else and then when that all falls apart you come running back here, to me. Well I'm not having it Carter."
My voice is gradually increasing in volume, he stands there for a minute, running his hand through his hair, before replying.
"I came to you as a friend, someone to talk to. You invited me in, you said I..."
"Well I wasn't thinking." I cut him off, viciously drying my hands on a towel that I then throw on the table, walking round it, putting more distance between us.
"I am now and I know what you were thinking, I don't want you here. I don't need you here."
"Abby, I came to talk to you, I didn't know who else to go to, we've always been able to talk. I didn't want anything from you. What do you want me to do? You tell me I have a daughter, do you want me just to walk out of here like I don't care? I care Abby, seeing her there, knowing she's mine, it was amazing, I didn't think I'd ever feel like that.
Kem, she broke my heart, knowing that the baby wasn't mine, knowing that she'd known all along. It was the worst thing ever, I didn't know what to do. I stayed in Africa for a while longer, until she came to the clinic, her and the baby and Peter. It killed me Abby. I had to leave, so I came back to the only other person who's ever really meant anything to me, you. I know I can't make up for what I've done, but surely we can work something out between us, we have a daughter, surely you realise it means something?"
"Sure, it means that although one family fell apart, you think you can fall straight back into this one, well you can't Carter. You left, you can't expect to come back and be part of mine and Leah's life!"
"Leah?"
"Yeah, that's her name, my daughter's name is Leah. I can't believe you!" I turn back to the sink really tempted to smash the plates in front of me. I stand there for a minute before turning around and storming over to the door, throwing it open.
"Will you just leave." He doesn't move.
"Get out Carter!" I say as forcefully as I can.
"You can't just chuck me out after you've told me I have a daughter, she's mine too Abby."
"Yours? She's yours? Where were you when I found out about her, when she was born, when she was in hospital? You weren't here were you? You were in Africa with her, and now things didn't work out you come back here, expecting everything to be fine. Well it's not!" I'm practically screaming at him.
"I didn't expect anything. I didn't know she even existed because you never told me about her. You didn't tell me I had a daughter!" His voice slightly raised.
"I did Carter, I told you. I wouldn't do that to you!" He looks slightly confused now.
"Keep your voice down."
"Don't tell me what to do." I'm still screaming hysterically.
"I'm not, it's just you'll wake her." I shake my head in disbelief, what right does he have telling me what to do?
"Get out Carter."
"I'm not leaving until we talk about this."
"Fine I'm calling the cops." I move towards the phone, he counteracts my move holding it down.
"You can't do this Abby."
"Get out!" I'm close to tears, still shouting.
"Fine, I'll come back when you've calmed down."
"Calmed down! When I've calmed down! I'll calm down when you get out of my apartment."
"I'm going!" He shouts back, snatching his coat from its resting-place.
"Fine!"
"I'll see you tomorrow." He says in a more composed voice
"Stay away from us Carter, we're managing fine without you." He turns around as I slam the door in his face before he can say anything else. I bolt it before sinking to the floor, tears rolling down my cheeks. I hear Leah crying yet I'm unable to move as sobs take over my body. The bedroom door opens making Leah's cry's louder as Susan enters the room holding her.
"Abby?" I can't answer, I can't even look at her. What sort of mother am I not even being able to care for my daughter, telling her father to leave before she's even seen him. Why does everything fall apart so easily? Susan turns away, comforting Leah, back to my room. What sort of friend am I leaving her to cope with my crying daughter? She comes back ten minutes later without her and sits on the floor next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders. More tears flood down my face as she holds me in her arms.
After I've calmed down a bit she asks quietly
"Who was that?"
"Carter." I reply even quieter.
"He's back?" I nod and we sit there in silence, she wondering what just happened, me wondering what the hell have I just done?
~*~
Some review responses -
Tracey - fireworks will hopefully follow!
ER-Carby-Luva - No Kem - why would I want her in it, she only gets in the way of Carby goodness! Unfortunately I don't think we've seen the last of her!
Kate Rosen - I don't know exactly what happens between Kem and Carter as I've only seen up to 'Get Carter', I've read a couple of spoilers but I don't know what else Kem does so I'll take it that he doesn't know.
Miss Dynamite - I haven't decided if it's going to have a Carby ending yet you'll just have to keep reading to find out!
Thank you to everyone else that reviewed.
Chapter 14 - Honest Questions
"She's not Susan's. She's yours."
Again there's nothing but silence between us. I want to look at him but I'm scared, what's going through his head right now? He turns back around towards us and steps slowly closer to the cot until he's touching it. From the corner of my eye I can see him looking down at her.
"She's..?"
I nod, then force myself to look up at him. His expression has changed once again. Tears are once more in his eyes, but not from sadness, the start of a smile forming on his lips. As I'm looking at him tears also form in my eyes, I wondered what this moment was going to be like but I didn't imagine this. His eyes meet mine, we are locked together with a gaze that conveys all our thoughts and feelings to the other. He finally looks away back to Leah.
"Can I touch her?" I nod, she's his daughter.
"Try not to wake her." I whisper. He gingerly stretches out a hand and touches the side of her face. I can tell he's lost in her just like I was when I first held her.
After a while I move back to the kitchen, leaving him there lost in his daughter, unable to break the spell that has been cast in the room. I tackle the dishes that are stacked up in the sink, not knowing what else to do. A million different thoughts stampeding round my head. He came back. He came back to me. Why to me, of all people? What does it mean that he chose me? What does he want, expect? More importantly what do I want? There's only one thought that keeps repeating itself though. He came back to me after things fell apart in Africa. Did he think he could just pick up where we left off? That nothing had changed. Why was I so stupid, why did I tell him about Leah? I hear him enter the room, quietly closing the door behind him. I don't turn around, concentrating on the plate I have in my hand. He stays there for a while obviously as unsure as I am as to what happens now. I'm still working on the same plate when he breaks the silence
"Abby."
"What?" I reply quickly sounding angrier than I'd intended, turning to face him at the same time. He throws me a confused look.
"What's wrong?" I turn back round, dropping the plate back in the sink. I try to keep my voice calm as I ask
"What do you want Carter?"
"Nothing." I turn to face him again.
"Why did you come here?"
"I needed to talk." He meets my eye and then looks away again.
"You disappear for months, dump me with a letter, hook up with someone else and then when that all falls apart you come running back here, to me. Well I'm not having it Carter."
My voice is gradually increasing in volume, he stands there for a minute, running his hand through his hair, before replying.
"I came to you as a friend, someone to talk to. You invited me in, you said I..."
"Well I wasn't thinking." I cut him off, viciously drying my hands on a towel that I then throw on the table, walking round it, putting more distance between us.
"I am now and I know what you were thinking, I don't want you here. I don't need you here."
"Abby, I came to talk to you, I didn't know who else to go to, we've always been able to talk. I didn't want anything from you. What do you want me to do? You tell me I have a daughter, do you want me just to walk out of here like I don't care? I care Abby, seeing her there, knowing she's mine, it was amazing, I didn't think I'd ever feel like that.
Kem, she broke my heart, knowing that the baby wasn't mine, knowing that she'd known all along. It was the worst thing ever, I didn't know what to do. I stayed in Africa for a while longer, until she came to the clinic, her and the baby and Peter. It killed me Abby. I had to leave, so I came back to the only other person who's ever really meant anything to me, you. I know I can't make up for what I've done, but surely we can work something out between us, we have a daughter, surely you realise it means something?"
"Sure, it means that although one family fell apart, you think you can fall straight back into this one, well you can't Carter. You left, you can't expect to come back and be part of mine and Leah's life!"
"Leah?"
"Yeah, that's her name, my daughter's name is Leah. I can't believe you!" I turn back to the sink really tempted to smash the plates in front of me. I stand there for a minute before turning around and storming over to the door, throwing it open.
"Will you just leave." He doesn't move.
"Get out Carter!" I say as forcefully as I can.
"You can't just chuck me out after you've told me I have a daughter, she's mine too Abby."
"Yours? She's yours? Where were you when I found out about her, when she was born, when she was in hospital? You weren't here were you? You were in Africa with her, and now things didn't work out you come back here, expecting everything to be fine. Well it's not!" I'm practically screaming at him.
"I didn't expect anything. I didn't know she even existed because you never told me about her. You didn't tell me I had a daughter!" His voice slightly raised.
"I did Carter, I told you. I wouldn't do that to you!" He looks slightly confused now.
"Keep your voice down."
"Don't tell me what to do." I'm still screaming hysterically.
"I'm not, it's just you'll wake her." I shake my head in disbelief, what right does he have telling me what to do?
"Get out Carter."
"I'm not leaving until we talk about this."
"Fine I'm calling the cops." I move towards the phone, he counteracts my move holding it down.
"You can't do this Abby."
"Get out!" I'm close to tears, still shouting.
"Fine, I'll come back when you've calmed down."
"Calmed down! When I've calmed down! I'll calm down when you get out of my apartment."
"I'm going!" He shouts back, snatching his coat from its resting-place.
"Fine!"
"I'll see you tomorrow." He says in a more composed voice
"Stay away from us Carter, we're managing fine without you." He turns around as I slam the door in his face before he can say anything else. I bolt it before sinking to the floor, tears rolling down my cheeks. I hear Leah crying yet I'm unable to move as sobs take over my body. The bedroom door opens making Leah's cry's louder as Susan enters the room holding her.
"Abby?" I can't answer, I can't even look at her. What sort of mother am I not even being able to care for my daughter, telling her father to leave before she's even seen him. Why does everything fall apart so easily? Susan turns away, comforting Leah, back to my room. What sort of friend am I leaving her to cope with my crying daughter? She comes back ten minutes later without her and sits on the floor next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders. More tears flood down my face as she holds me in her arms.
After I've calmed down a bit she asks quietly
"Who was that?"
"Carter." I reply even quieter.
"He's back?" I nod and we sit there in silence, she wondering what just happened, me wondering what the hell have I just done?
~*~
Some review responses -
Tracey - fireworks will hopefully follow!
ER-Carby-Luva - No Kem - why would I want her in it, she only gets in the way of Carby goodness! Unfortunately I don't think we've seen the last of her!
Kate Rosen - I don't know exactly what happens between Kem and Carter as I've only seen up to 'Get Carter', I've read a couple of spoilers but I don't know what else Kem does so I'll take it that he doesn't know.
Miss Dynamite - I haven't decided if it's going to have a Carby ending yet you'll just have to keep reading to find out!
Thank you to everyone else that reviewed.