Thanks for all the reviews I didn't like the last chapter so I'm glad you did!
Chapter 15 - Till the end of the day
I wake up in my own bed wondering how I got here. I see Leah's awake in her cot, but she seems content to stay there for the moment so I leave her and walk into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I look dead, hair all out of place, eyes red from crying. I turn on the shower, undress and step under the stream of hot water, my mind on everything that happened last night. I turn the heat up, the burning pinpricks of water hitting my back, waking me up, reminding me I'm still alive, preparing me for whatever is going to happen today. Questions still going through my mind. Why did he have to come back when I had just sorted my life out? I want Leah to have a father but do I really want Carter back in my life? Can I blame him for leaving when I didn't tell him? Would he have come back if he had known? I'll never know now will I, what matters is that he knows and what I decide to do now. I switch the shower off and grab a towel.
I wipe the condensation off the mirror, and my blurred reflection stares back at me. Come on Abby pull yourself together. I turn to the bedroom, picking out some clothes and dressing before I pick up Leah and head towards the kitchen. There's a note on the table from Susan saying she had a shift and would see me later at work. My shift starts at ten, it's now past eight, which gives me just enough time to get us both sorted but not too much to think about Carter.
"Hey Luka," I say as I approach admit, carrying Leah.
"Hey Abby."
"If Weaver asks I'll be down in a minute, I just need to take her to day-care." I head towards the elevator.
"Wait up, I need to go upstairs anyway." We walk to the elevator and step inside in silence.
"So how are you doing?"
"Good." I reply "You?"
"Not bad." Silence again.
"Carter's back." He turns to look at me, I stare straight ahead.
"He's back?" I nod. "When?"
"Last night."
"Does he know about Leah?" I nod again.
"And..." he presses. I sigh before saying
"I don't know, everything's just such a mess." He nods this time.
"I'm sure you'll sort everything out." He smiles, putting a hand on my shoulder, "I'll see you in a minute." He steps out leaving me alone with my thoughts. I'm sure he's right we'll sort everything out eventually, but how? I reach my floor and step out forcing myself to concentrate on something different. I look at my daughter, sitting happily in my arms, eyes focused on something behind my head.
I say good bye as I leave her in day-care, I hate leaving her, but I can't afford not to. I step back in the elevator and head back to the ER, wondering what's in store today.
"John!" I hear Jing-Mei exclaim, I'm in the curtain area. I peer through a gap, it is him, damn.
"So are you coming back to work?" Keep him talking Deb. He's looking around the ER not really paying any attention to her.
"Is Abby working?"
"Yeah, she's around here somewhere." He's about to ask something else when he's noticed by some of the nurses who quickly surround him. I take this as my chance to escape, telling my patient I'll be back soon before disappearing down the corridor and slipping into the on-call room, peering through the blinds to check that no one noticed me.
"Hiding are we?" I jump in shock turning to meet the face behind the voice.
"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you."
"Sorry Susan I didn't think anyone was in here."
"I can't sleep anyway. So, who are you hiding from?" She sits up with a questioning look on her face. I have to tell her, there's something about her that makes you have to tell her everything.
"Carter." I turn back around to look through the blinds.
"He came here? Do you want me to talk to him?"
"I can't ask you to do that, I just don't want to talk to him here." Susan stands up.
"What time do you finish?"
"Six, why?"
"I'll go tell him to meet you after your shift."
"I don't know if I want to."
"You have to Abby, or are you going to hide everytime he comes into the ER?"
"Shit!" I drop the blind. "He's in the hallway."
"Look do you want me to talk to him, or do you want to fight it out here?"
"Fine go talk to him."
"I'll come get you when he's gone."
"Thanks." I say as she opens the door, she flashes me a quick smile before heading off to see Carter. I peek through the blinds watching as she talks to him, he's still looking around, running a hand through his hair. She turns him around away from where I'm hiding back towards admit. Thank God for Susan! I really owe her for today and last night. I cautiously step out of the on-call room only to be met by Weaver.
"You only came on three hours ago and you're taking a nap?"
"I urm I was looking for Susan."
"She left there five minutes ago." She's keeping tabs on everyone?
"Yeah, I just needed to sort myself out."
"Well hurry up and get back to work, we don't pay you to stand around doing nothing."
I quickly turn around and hurry down the corridor back to my patients.
"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!"
"Weaver was pretty pissed at me so I thought I better get back to work. What did he say?"
"He's going to meet you at half six at Ikes, do you want me to take Leah for you?"
"Would you? I promise I'll make everything up to you, I'll baby-sit forever for you!"
"I'll remember that!" My stomach churns as I realise I'm going to have to actually talk to him.
"What am I going to say to him?"
"I'm not here to help you with that but if I were you I'd say what I feel. Now I better get going before Weaver gets pissed at me too! Oh and Abby, try not to shout at him too much!"
"Cheers Suze!" She smiles and leaves, I look at my watch half one, only five hours to go!
~*~
ER-Carby-Luva - When I said I don't think we've seen the last of Kem, I meant in this story, not on the show.
Chapter 15 - Till the end of the day
I wake up in my own bed wondering how I got here. I see Leah's awake in her cot, but she seems content to stay there for the moment so I leave her and walk into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I look dead, hair all out of place, eyes red from crying. I turn on the shower, undress and step under the stream of hot water, my mind on everything that happened last night. I turn the heat up, the burning pinpricks of water hitting my back, waking me up, reminding me I'm still alive, preparing me for whatever is going to happen today. Questions still going through my mind. Why did he have to come back when I had just sorted my life out? I want Leah to have a father but do I really want Carter back in my life? Can I blame him for leaving when I didn't tell him? Would he have come back if he had known? I'll never know now will I, what matters is that he knows and what I decide to do now. I switch the shower off and grab a towel.
I wipe the condensation off the mirror, and my blurred reflection stares back at me. Come on Abby pull yourself together. I turn to the bedroom, picking out some clothes and dressing before I pick up Leah and head towards the kitchen. There's a note on the table from Susan saying she had a shift and would see me later at work. My shift starts at ten, it's now past eight, which gives me just enough time to get us both sorted but not too much to think about Carter.
"Hey Luka," I say as I approach admit, carrying Leah.
"Hey Abby."
"If Weaver asks I'll be down in a minute, I just need to take her to day-care." I head towards the elevator.
"Wait up, I need to go upstairs anyway." We walk to the elevator and step inside in silence.
"So how are you doing?"
"Good." I reply "You?"
"Not bad." Silence again.
"Carter's back." He turns to look at me, I stare straight ahead.
"He's back?" I nod. "When?"
"Last night."
"Does he know about Leah?" I nod again.
"And..." he presses. I sigh before saying
"I don't know, everything's just such a mess." He nods this time.
"I'm sure you'll sort everything out." He smiles, putting a hand on my shoulder, "I'll see you in a minute." He steps out leaving me alone with my thoughts. I'm sure he's right we'll sort everything out eventually, but how? I reach my floor and step out forcing myself to concentrate on something different. I look at my daughter, sitting happily in my arms, eyes focused on something behind my head.
I say good bye as I leave her in day-care, I hate leaving her, but I can't afford not to. I step back in the elevator and head back to the ER, wondering what's in store today.
"John!" I hear Jing-Mei exclaim, I'm in the curtain area. I peer through a gap, it is him, damn.
"So are you coming back to work?" Keep him talking Deb. He's looking around the ER not really paying any attention to her.
"Is Abby working?"
"Yeah, she's around here somewhere." He's about to ask something else when he's noticed by some of the nurses who quickly surround him. I take this as my chance to escape, telling my patient I'll be back soon before disappearing down the corridor and slipping into the on-call room, peering through the blinds to check that no one noticed me.
"Hiding are we?" I jump in shock turning to meet the face behind the voice.
"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you."
"Sorry Susan I didn't think anyone was in here."
"I can't sleep anyway. So, who are you hiding from?" She sits up with a questioning look on her face. I have to tell her, there's something about her that makes you have to tell her everything.
"Carter." I turn back around to look through the blinds.
"He came here? Do you want me to talk to him?"
"I can't ask you to do that, I just don't want to talk to him here." Susan stands up.
"What time do you finish?"
"Six, why?"
"I'll go tell him to meet you after your shift."
"I don't know if I want to."
"You have to Abby, or are you going to hide everytime he comes into the ER?"
"Shit!" I drop the blind. "He's in the hallway."
"Look do you want me to talk to him, or do you want to fight it out here?"
"Fine go talk to him."
"I'll come get you when he's gone."
"Thanks." I say as she opens the door, she flashes me a quick smile before heading off to see Carter. I peek through the blinds watching as she talks to him, he's still looking around, running a hand through his hair. She turns him around away from where I'm hiding back towards admit. Thank God for Susan! I really owe her for today and last night. I cautiously step out of the on-call room only to be met by Weaver.
"You only came on three hours ago and you're taking a nap?"
"I urm I was looking for Susan."
"She left there five minutes ago." She's keeping tabs on everyone?
"Yeah, I just needed to sort myself out."
"Well hurry up and get back to work, we don't pay you to stand around doing nothing."
I quickly turn around and hurry down the corridor back to my patients.
"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!"
"Weaver was pretty pissed at me so I thought I better get back to work. What did he say?"
"He's going to meet you at half six at Ikes, do you want me to take Leah for you?"
"Would you? I promise I'll make everything up to you, I'll baby-sit forever for you!"
"I'll remember that!" My stomach churns as I realise I'm going to have to actually talk to him.
"What am I going to say to him?"
"I'm not here to help you with that but if I were you I'd say what I feel. Now I better get going before Weaver gets pissed at me too! Oh and Abby, try not to shout at him too much!"
"Cheers Suze!" She smiles and leaves, I look at my watch half one, only five hours to go!
~*~
ER-Carby-Luva - When I said I don't think we've seen the last of Kem, I meant in this story, not on the show.