Disclaimer: I do not own Jack, David, Mush, Kid-Blink, Racetrack, or Skittery. I do however own Mike Wallis, Rachel........and Mush's mental professor.
Another year, another season, another month, another week, another day, another $5.25 an hour. Everyday for the past 20 years it's been the same thing. I have worked at the same building, same office, same desk, same.....no wait it's not the same computer, same chair, same plastic plant, same everything.
Different people though, which I guess is a good thing. I'm never sick of anyone around here. However at the age of 36 it is pretty awkward to have all of your coworkers under the age of 21. They come and they go seeking their little after school jobs. I am proud to say that I work full time. I used to be under the age of 21, when I started this job back in 1984, still in high school, unlike everyone else, I just never found the appropriate time to quit.
The people around here consider me to be, oh how do they put it, 'vintage.' I don't mind, I have become an expert typist. And not a typist for a stupid insurance company or as a secretary. Nope, I am full time typist for an international corporation that the world depends on. My name is Mike Wallis, and I type messages for fortune cookies.
And as for the international dependancy exciting every person's dream job I have just laid out in front of you, it is the best, fun filled, creative, exciting, enjoyable job. Well, maybe not exactly quite frankly like that everyday.
In fact it can be very slow and boring. I know its hard to believe, but most of the time I just stare at the clock watching the second hand rotate around. Heck, there's nothing better to do.
Actually, I can't wait to get out of this place. If only I could find another job somewhere. For fifteen years I have been searching for another job. But I can't find a damn thing. And if I do find a job I don't wind up getting it. It's a very frustrating cycle. I am so bored I feel like my brains going to explode, I find a job opening, go for an interview, get turned down as soon as they hear I type fortune cookie messages for a living, I become grateful for my oh so intellectual job and go right back to the boredom.
As I sat there at my desk, attempting to come up with more fortunes to send to the factory, I wondered if anyone actually reads these before they bake them into the cookies. As my brain began to ponder this thought I came upon an idea. An experiment, if you would, to see how far I can push this little system.
Finally I thought of an appropriate fortune to test. I pulled out my keyboard and typed, 'In exactly 24 hours death will come upon you.' I clicked send, this was going to be fun.
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I sat in my dorm room completely aggravated with myself. I had a huge term paper due in two days and I had barely started it. I hate procrastination. Then my roommate came in. He was a cool guy, his name was Jack, Jack Kelly.
"Hey Dave," he said to me, "you want to come get some dinner with us?"
I looked at him to my computer and back to him again. I really hate procrastination, but it doesn't mean I don't do it.
"Sure," I told him, "where are we going?"
"I'm not sure," he told me, "Mush said something about trying this new Chinese place." I grabbed my coat and shoes and we were off. We met up with Mush and his roommate Kid-Blink and Racetrack and his friend Skittery, although I always got the feeling that those two didn't get along very well. We got one booth for six people.
Looking at the menu I realized I wasn't very hungry. I figured I would just order some soup.
The waitress came over to our table, she looked around at all of us, "Hello, my name is Rachel and I'll be your server tonight. Are you ready to order?" she asked us. Everyone ordered a decent amount of food but I still only wanted just soup. I ordered my soup and the waitress collected our menus.
"So what were you working on Dave?" Jack asked me.
"Oh, my biology paper," I told him, "it's gonna take me another couple of hours to finish."
"That sounds like fun," Skittery said sarcastically.
"Hey," Mush said, "at least it's better than my thesis topic: Apples & Squirrels, their connection through nature. I swear my professor is mental." At that comment the entire table bust into laughter.
"After dinner how bout we all play some hardcore poker?" Racetrack asked. He was answered with a chorus of 'no thanks.' I know that I personally didn't feel like losing all my money on top of failing a class.
"Tell you what," Kid-Blink said, "after we eat why don't we go play some basketball like we used to." I loved playing basketball with everyone, I played on the school team and it was a lot of fun to play without rules or regulations.
Shortly after this conversation had ended our food had come. The table grew silent from everyone eating. After I finished my soup I noticed everyone was basically finished as well. The waitress came over and took our plates away. "Would any of you like a fortune cookie?" she asked us.
Everyone shook their head or said no thanks except me. I liked fortune cookies, a lot. She tossed me one from the tray and I put it in my pocket.
We paid the bill and were off to the basketball courts. As we were walking a reached into my pocket and pulled out the cookie. I oped the plastic wrapper and put it in my pocket. I cracked the cookie in half and pulled out the little slip of paper.
After I read it, I read it over, and once again to make sure I wasn't seeing things. "Hey guys?" I asked the group, "aren't fortunes inside these things usually good ones?"
"Why?" Skittery asked, "You didn't get one predicting your death or anything, did you?"
I gave a loud gulp and handed him the slip of paper. He read it aloud, "In exactly 24 hours death will come upon you." Everyone started to laugh.
"You're not going to actually believe this are you?" Jack asked me, "they're completely made up."
"And it just so happens I get this particular one?" I asked them, "I don't think so, it really means what it says, I'm gonna die."
"Davey," Mush said, "you're not gonna die."
"Not within the next 24 hours anyway," Skittery chimed in. This comment made the whole group laugh.
"I think I'm gonna just head home guys," I told them and I turned and walked back to my dorm, enjoying my last night.
I fell asleep a lot faster then I thought I would that night. I through my paper out, what was the point? By midnight I was asleep, enjoying the comfort of my bed. I woke up the next morning to find cold water being poured onto my face.
I bolted up to see Jack standing over me with an empty cup in his hand. "What the hell were you doing?" I screamed.
"I was just experimenting," he told me, "cool it, you only have about 12 more hours to live anyway. We got to get to class."
"I'm not going," I said falling back onto my bed.
"Yes you are," he said, "or I'll pour the rest of this on you." I continued to sit there until I felt water being dripped on my head.
I took a shower and got dressed and headed for class. During class I got an idea, I would just go back to the restaurant and ask for another cookie. So as soon as the bell rang I ran to the Chinese food place.
"Excuse me," I said, "could I get a fortune cookie?" The lady behind the counter looked at me strangely but gave me the cookie. I ran out of the restaurant and cracked open the cookie. The paper said, 'Enjoy life while it lasts.'
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
I stormed back to my dorm room and showed Jack my new fortune. "You really think this is true don't you?" he asked me.
"What am I supposed to think?" I asked him.
Then Kid-Blink opened the door to our room and came in with two cups of what looked like coffee. "Here you go Jack," he said, handing Jack one of the colored mugs, the red one to be exact. "I brought one for you too," he said, handing me the blue cup of coffee.
"Thanks," I said to him, and drank the whole mug. Blink stayed and we told him about my new fortune. About ten minutes later I felt really tired, too much paranoia I guess. "If you don't mind I'm gonna take a nap," I said to them. Within a minute I was asleep.
I woke up once again to cold water being splashed on my face, but only this time it was a bucket full, all at once. I sat up to find Jack, Racetrack, Mush, Blink, and Skittery standing around me.
"It's about time," Racetrack said.
"What do you mean?" I asked them.
"You've been sleeping forever!" Mush said, "Blink, the idiot, here gave you too much sleeping powder."
"Wait so I'm not dead?" I asked them.
"No!" They all said in unison.
"We were just sick of you being freaked out," Jack said, "But Blink put ten tablespoons instead of teaspoons."
"Basically, in a nut shell you were knocked out for two and a half days," Skittery added.
"So I'm really not dead?" I asked again.
"No!" They all screamed at me throwing another bucket of water at my head.
I jumped out of bed and raced over to the garbage and pulled out my biology paper.....I was so screwed.
And till this day I haven't set foot in one single Chinese restaurant.
A/N: This is for Newsies Challenge: Week 7