Secrets

7th October

I'm going to cry... actually last night I did cry. Harry told me everything last night. What he's been hiding. All of it. Are you ready for all of this.

He's the heir of Gryffindor. I wrote that before, as one of my suggestions for what Harry's secret could be to do with. But one of the heirs only had a daughter and the name died with the father, and then it became the Potter line. It just all over came him at once. He broke down completely. I've never seen him like that before. I was so scared for him. I still am. I don't think I'm gonna get a decent nights sleep until Voldemort is gone. But there's a prophecy. It says that Harry will be the one. The heir of Gryffindor against the heir of Slytherin. That's why he was so pissed at Dumbledore. He never knew. He should have been told before. He would have had so much more time to prepare for the inevitable encounter. That's why he's been trying so hard recently in class. He wants to know everything so that he'll know anything that could help him. Oh and he agreed to do the club. I've been spreading it about, in secret of course.

He also told me where he's been in the evenings. He's taking Occulumency lessons with Professor Snape. It's so he can't see the attacks while he's asleep. And so his scar doesn't hurt. He should be able to shut off Voldemorts presence in his mind eventually. I'm so glad he's taking these lessons. I couldn't bear it if he has to go through that torture every night. He's only 15. He has the responsibility of the world on his shoulders and won't let anyone else help him carry the burden. But that's gonna change. It has to. He can't cope all alone. Take last night. He's kept this to himself for two months. Longer than I expected he'd hold out he's worse at keeping secrets that Hagrid. But look what it did to him. He broke down completely. He's exhausted. So when he was done I told him to go to bed. I got him a cup of hot chocolate (that always helps and ice cream but I don't think he's quite that bad yet) and told him not to get up until he was totally fine again.

He took this advice to heart and didn't get up until half past two. He slept for 16 hours. He must have been so tired. He's a bit better now, he's in a better mood, and he has been quite agreeable with the whole army thing. I have a list of people who will join us at the first meeting. We're holding it in the Room of Requirement, like our private lessons. We're still going to do them once a week, just the three of us, so we can learn new stuff. The weekly defence group will be teaching stuff like disarming and stunning to start with, we all need to have the very basics down to start with then we'll move onto curses and everything.

First meeting tomorrow. Wish us luck!!

9th October

That went so well! So many people turned up. This is who came;

Neville, Dean, Seamus, Parvati and Lavender. Fred, George, Katie, Angelina, Alicia and Lee. Ginny, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Megan Jones, Sally Anne Perks, Justin Filch Fletchley, Wayne Hopkins and Ernie Macmillan. All of our year Ravenclaws, Mandy, Su Li, Morag, Padma, Lisa, Terry, Michael, Kevin and Anthony. And then there were the people I didn't know. Needless to say it was a complete success. Harry was great. He really is a natural born leader. And a bit of a show off. Well not really, he is modest... but not so much. Ron hates it. Harry does take it a bit far. I know Ron only considers himself as "the sidekick" but he's not. He's a lot more than that.

We just did an introduction really, we made everyone signed a cursed bit of parchment (not that they knew it was cursed of course), that if they betrayed us they'd get boils on their arses. We decided on a name. As much as Harry's fan club wanted Harry Potter's Army (I didn't know he had a fan club. Very, very scary) we decided on Defence Association. Would have been Dumbledore's Army but Harry's still pissed at him. Ron came up with it ... God I like him so much... anyway. We are meeting every Tuesday at 7 until 9.30. Monday is Gryffindor Quidditch practise, Wednesday Ravenclaw, Thursday Hufflepuff. Ron has chess club on Friday at 6, and after that we have our private meeting. Saturday is normally Hogsmeade and Sunday is homework day. Aren't we all nice and organised? Just how I like it.

10th October

It's raining, so Ron couldn't have Quidditch practise. Harry was in detention for a while, but Professor Silverlake (DADA) lets him out early. Reckon she's a bit in awe of him. He plays it up too. Honestly. I don't know whether it's better him ignoring he's Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, or totally taking advantage. Although the former is funnier – not that I'd ever admit that aloud, I'd just look at him speculatively and nod. And he's not even that bad, he could be worse. We all spent a night in the common room, it was surprisingly good fun, we should do it more often. Harry and Ron sat playing chess, Harry losing miserably as usual. I did my Charms homework which Harry had already done, and Ron wouldn't do until the night before it was due in. I helped a few of the First Years with some Potions homework, and chatted to a few of Ginny's friends. On the radio there were no reports of attacks, so everything was great. Crookshanks did terrorise everyone a bit, but it's normal for him. Harry and Ron especially think that I think that my cat can do no wrong. Believe me I know he can, but he's so cute and pretty I can't stay mad at him for long.

23rd October

Oh my God, I apologise for not writing recently, but we've been so busy. Our lessons have been going great – the private ones. Dumbledore knows. Don't know how really. Should think Snape saw it in Harry's Occulumency lessons and told him. But it doesn't matter, he doesn't mind really. Animagus is going great, we've got the spells and are brewing the potion back in our old haunt Moaning Myrtle's toilet.

Quidditch for Ron is going great. Bless him, I love how his face lights up when he talks about it, and the team is going so well. He's Keeper, I wrote that right? Colin Creevy is Seeker instead of Harry, he's still on his nightly detentions, they stop for the new year apparently, and that's well, about half way through Quidditch season. Knowing Harry he'll get himself into loads more trouble and get himself more detention. He'll probably end up with consecutive detentions all year. Prat. Ron's not happy with him – Harry is a wicked Seeker. But Ron's as good as Wood was, so it makes up for it really. Sort of.

Anyway, the DA. Going great. Harry and Ron are wicked at doing it. Was a bit surprised that Ron started to help so much, but he's good at it. Especially ... well all of it. He's just very good. Love really is blind isn't it? Not that I love him. I think it's not possible for someone my age to be in love. It's lust. But I think if there ever was a Ron and me it could end up as long. I hate how the girls are around here. Take Parvati for example. She's going out with one of the Ravenclaw 6th Years at the moment, Jonathan Baldwin. She's been with him for a month now. She decided she was in love with him two days after he asked her out. Completely ridiculous. I really don't see how girls and guys can act like that. My cousin Becky, she's a year older than me, had a boyfriend Lawrence, over the summer holidays (I went on holiday with her, my parents, Aunt and Uncle). He was so soppy, always phoning her, telling her he loved her. They'd only met twice! Completely ridiculous. She thought it was hilarious, she still hasn't said it back, and she won't until it's true. Good for her. She feels a bit guilty, but if she doesn't feel like that yet then she shouldn't say it.

Anyway. The Prefects have been planning the Halloween feast. I never realised how much there was to do. This year the Gryffindor Prefects are in charge of the decorations. Obviously the Seventh Years are mostly in charge, but me and Ron are helping a lot.

30th October

Oh dear. Harry had a vision last night. It wasn't a really bad one – well compared to last time anyway. That one was horrible. He had the Cruciatus on him for a minute and a half. Last time it was three. I didn't write about that one either did I? It was three days ago. But this one, on the eve of his parents death, has put him one of the worst moods ever. People normally know to avoid him for a few days before and after cos he gets stressed, but he's been even worse this year.

31st October

Oh dear. He landed himself a months detention today (Harry of course, who else?), he punched and knocked out three Seventh Year Slytherins, who mentioned Voldemort. And broke the nose of a 6th Year Ravenclaw. He should have been suspended, but he was just given a lot of detention. They did deserve it, they were very horrible to him, and... oh I don't know. I managed to stop Ron, who arrived halfway through. He stopped the fight instead of joining in. I was actually very impressed with him. Oh he's so sweet... anyway Harry. It was outside Transfiguration, Harry was sitting against the wall staring into space, when a big group of people walked by. A few of the Slytherins stopped and started taunting him. He stood up and just... well... he went mental. And proceeded to land a lot of people in the hospital wing. What a prat. He needs to get some anger management classes going or something... maybe I should look into it for him... he wouldn't have to know... it can be our little secret.

2nd November

Oh God... my life is so screwed up. School isn't going too well Harry is doing better in three lessons than me. I haven't got a boyfriend, and have no prospects. Ron, I have decided is a hopeless case. He's never going to feel the same way about me. He's insensitive and a great lout. I see the looks Harry gives me – he knows how I feel about Ron, and I think he keeps dropping some hints to Ron. Fat lot of good that has done, hey? Sometimes, I think it would be easier just to either become a nun, or fancy Harry. I told him this, last night. He just laughed at me, kissed the top of my head, and goes, "Oh, Mione, you don't wanna fancy me. I'm even more fucked up than you." We fell asleep on the couch that night, (Ron had one of his Weasley nights), looking into the fire, just being there. I could never fancy Harry, I don't want to. It wouldn't work, and I'd lose him as a friend. I think when Harry falls for someone, they'll be the one, no matter how many people he has crushes on. Ron – I don't know about. He could fall instantly, without it being real, or just be a bachelor his entire life. Me... I don't know. I would love to say that I think I'm going to fall in to love at an early age, and marry and have children. But, hell, I'm realistic; it's very unlikely. I think I'll either end up being hurt or a spinster with lots of cats and books. I know Crookshanks needs the company, he is very anti-social. Takes after his mother doesn't he?

A/N - Sorry to disappoint anyone, but this will not be Harry/Hermione. Never ever. Sorry. The future pairings are in the summary. Please review, I love writing this but there don't seem to be many people reading!