I'm definitely about to have some fun! If I die of laughter writing this, maybe you'll die of laughter reading it! But please, don't sue me for the deaths by laughter, as I will be dead too! Blows kisses and Faerie dust and disappears

Chapter 9: Swarming Pugs and More Good Stuff

Snape rounded on the crew of rescuers and sneered. "Now do you really think that I'd just LET you go up to the tower, revive the princess, bring her home, and live happily ever after and me just never take over the kingdoms?"

"Ummm... If I say yes, and I'm right, do I get a prize?" George asked cheekily. Snape growled and loomed over him like the over grown bat that he his.

"You're WRONG! Now suffer the painful death of being torn to shreds! MINIONS!" With this echoing howl, Pansy and the rest of Snape's pug-faced, trollish, midget-sized, and other randomly deformed minions spewed and flowed from cracks and corners, jumping onto and out at Ginny's rescue team.

"Nice doggie, nice little puppy..." Ron said softly, reaching out to pet a rather harmless looking Pansy, whose main response was to bite at his hands. "Hey! Ok, that does it!" Ron pulled out his sword and began slashing at the monsters, urging his brothers and Harry to do the same. Minerva, Poppy, and Sybill helped out as well, pulling out their wands and firing spells into the throng.

"Hey Fred?"

"Yes George?"

"You know all those concoctions we wanted to try on Percy?"

"I heard that!"

"I see what you mean. I think we have found and even better batch of test subjects!" The Dangerous Duo plunged their hands into their belts and pulled out random pellets and tossed them to the ground, revelling in the explosions. Fortunately or unfortunately, whichever you choose, the smoke from the randomised effects meant much confusion. Minions flew everywhere, sparks shot off; Pansy's eyebrows were burnt off, and spells flew wily nilly from the wands of the three fae. All battle and chaos stopped for a split second as the smoke cleared to observe two things: One was Snape dressed in a floofy pink tulle dress, cut much like that of a faerie's, complete with a tiara and slippers. Two was what made Snape completely ignore number one; Draco, his beloved silver owl, was now a gleaming... marble... white...(A/N: Wait for it... wait for it...) FERRET! (A/N: C'mon, it's Draco, you all saw it coming!)

"My owl! My beautiful faithful owl! You've cost me my most faithful intelligent and loving servant! To Hades with you all! Minions! Finish them off! I on the other hand," Snape flashed an evil grin. "Am heading to kill the PRINCESS!" With those words, Snape whirled off, and promptly tripped over his pink tulle. Regaining his balance, he ran off as fast as his slippered feet could carry him.

"Harry! We'll deal with this lot, you go rescue Ginny!" Bill instructed, his shield blocking a spell from Flint. Harry nodded and ran off, but couldn't help but hear on his way out,

"Good show with the dress Poppy."

"Why thank you Minerva. I don't know how to remove it. Your ferret was lovely by the way." Whether or not Minerva accepted Poppy's praise was unheard by Harry, as he raced up flight after flight of stone steps, which came to end at a bridge. Just beyond the bridge Harry could see the tower that Ginny was laid up in. As he began to cross with no sign of Snape, a rather un-nerving obstacle blocked his path. It was a LARGE, PINK, DRAGON. Complete with tiara markings on his forehead.

"Alright Potter! You want the girl; you have to get through me. How do you like your meat? I personally prefer mine very well done!" With those words, Dragon-Snape breathed green fire at Harry that burnt everything it touched. Thinking quickly, Harry knelt down behind Syibll's shield, and ducked his head behind it. (A/N: Ya know, like a one-man phalanx!)

"Snape, you coward, transform and fight me man to man!" Harry charged at Snape's stomach, sword outstretched, but was swept away by a mere flip of his opponent's claws. Harry then tried a different tactic.

"OOOO! Look at me! I'm a big pink dragon man! I've been out witted for over twenty years by three girlie fae! And they turned my pwecious owl into a fewwet! What ever can I do?" Harry taunted running around like a child, sticking his tongue out. Snape growled at him and tried to fry him again, only for Harry to slice through it with his sword. Undaunted, Harry kept it up. "My only hope is to kill a widdle girl who if were alive could probably run circles around me and I'm not even smart enough to kill her." Snape blocked Harry's path with his tail and sneered in his face, his breath smelling terribly of fire, brimstone, and some other odour Harry could not name.

"Forget roasting you. I'm just going to eat you raw!" With that declaration, Snape's mouth enveloped Harry and his teeth sunk into Harry's chest.

Meanwhile, in the tower, a very comatose Ginny slept peacefully, her mind filled with thoughts of Harry, her family, Hermione, and most of all, living her life happily within the kingdom she'd never been to, only watched from afar and dreamed about. In her head, she dreamed about her perfect life in Hogsmede.

----------End of Random Interlude From Your Witch of an Author--------------

Harry's eyes closed as Snape's mouth encased his body. As he mentally berated himself for failing to save the girl of his dreams and letting himself, his family and her family down, not to mention Ginny who would be doomed, he heard a sound that was nothing like that of bones crunching. Opening his eyes, he looked down at his chest. Instead of Snape's teeth through his sternum, he saw shattered nubs poking out of raw gums. (A/N: Betcha didn't see that comin'!) "How did he not kill me?" Harry mused dazedly. He then remembered Poppy's breastplate. He suddenly heard a voice inside his head.

"That breastplate is fireproof, and shatterproof. It should protect you from anything Snape may throw at you."

"That's right! She mentioned that when she gave it to me!" Harry said as he removed his head from a stunned Snape's mouth.

"That's what I'm telling you right now! I'm at the window!" Poppy's voice rang out across the bridge. Harry looked to see all of the Weasley's, Poppy, Sybill, and Minerva watching him. Harry nodded and did the only proper thing: He pulled out his sword and stabbed Snape right through the roof of his mouth. (á la Basilisk!) He then watched in satisfaction as Snape bled and writhed on the flagstone bridge.

"Good show Harry, good show!" Bill cheered.

"Ruddy impressive! Couldn'ta done better myself!" Charlie howled laughing.

"We'll take care of Pinky mate! You go and save our sister!" Ron called out, his smile broad.

"Yeah, but no funny business young man! I'm warning you! Or else I'll... I'll..."

"Read to him Percy?"

"Or maybe tell him about the textile industry of his own kingdom!"

"I'm quaking Sir Percy! But I assure you, I have only pure intentions for fair Ginerva!" With those words, Harry bolted off to the tower, up the stairs, and to the door where Ginny lie in waiting, but not knowing it. Harry smiled, breathed, and pushed to door open. Lying in a high canopy bed surrounded by gauzy hangings was Ginny. Harry took a moment to marvel at her beauty. She looked like a fiery goddess, her hair surrounding her like a halo, donned with a tiara, her blue gown (courtesy o' George) sparkling and making her look encased in a cloud. His reverie was broken when Ginny let out a tiny sneeze in her sleep. Harry laughed and muttered to himself, "She's so quirky, it's rather cute." Then he sighed and leaned over the bed. Before he knew what was happening, he had closed the gap between them and kissed Ginny.

Ginny felt her mind leave the fog of her dreams and her eyes open slowly. She looked up, only to see a pair of green eyes behind glasses above her. "I swear Fred, if you don't let me go back to my perfectly lovely dream, I'll flay you within an inch of your life." She muttered, mistaking Harry's eyes for the last of her fading dream. Ginny's response was a laugh.

"If I were Fred, I'd gladly let you return to sleep. But sadly, that isn't the case. It's only me, miserable Harry, here to carry you off with me." Ginny sat up quickly, her head smashing into Harry's in the process.

"Harry! Oh no! I have something to tell you. Something important! Please hear me out, I can't marry you!" Harry's lips gently covering hers stopped her rambling.

"Ginny, Ginny, love. It's ok, I know everything, and it'll be alright." He extended his hand to her beaming like the sun. Bewildered, she took it, and the two of them walked to the bridge where her family awaited with Snape, whose dead body, still encased in the pink dress, (this earned nearly unstoppable giggles from Ginny) was bound and awaiting its transport to the royal palace. Ginny smiled happily and addressed her brothers.

"Guys, I'd like you all to meet Harry; the man of my dreams. Literally. I really hope you guys can understand that I love him and can't marry whoever it is Mum and Dad has arranged for me." Ginny pleaded, eyes brimming with tears, as she gazed lovingly at Harry.

"Ginny, I'd like you to meet Harry; your fiancée since the day you were born." Bill said, his grin splitting his face. Ginny's tears automatically dried up, as she gaped at her brothers and Harry. After a moment, she let out a scream of joy as Harry swept her up into his arms and gave her a kiss.

YAY! Ginny's safe, Snape's pink, fluffy and dead, and everyone's ready to go home. The final chapter? Well, tearful reunions, squealing girls, and maybe a Ron/Hermione spat.

Mucho Amour,

Brown Eyed Faerie