Chapter Nine

p The two of them barely spoke after that. There was a dreadful silence between them following their regrettable kiss. The lack of words was not what affected Legolas, but rather the meaning it held: that time was moving and their love was fading under the coming darkness. Leannan found the situation suitable, yet inside she was being torn apart by the defiant love she held for the elf prince. They were not meant to be, she continually assured herself. He was an elf, she was a mortal; he was a prince, and she was a nobody. His life was certain, and hers was not. Her time was limited and she still did not even know who she was or what her purpose was.

p The company's time of rest in Hollin was torture for Leannan, as she found herself constantly speculating herself. Was there more to this mission than following Aragorn? Leannan felt a deep nagging that she had not come in loyalty for Frodo, but for herself…. to shield herself from her deepest fear- being alone. Hadn't she spent her entire life shadowing Aragorn and trying to fit in with the elves? Yet even though she was here with nine other companions, she felt alone. Unbearably alone and lost. Changes were happening inside of her that she did not understand- that she could not even allude to.

p The next afternoon, she was stirred from her frequent musings, by the cry of Aragorn. "Lie flat and still!"

p Her eyes darted across the camp. Most of the company was asleep, except for Sam, who was on watch, and Aragorn who had joined him.

p She dropped to her stomach and crawled over to hide behind the rocks. The ground near her shadowed suddenly and she craned her neck to see a dark cloud pass over their camp. Leannan waited for a long while, her breathing softening as the shadow dwindled away, until she heard voices.

p She stood up and brushed herself off just as she heard Aragorn saying, "They are not natives here; they are crebain out of Fangorn and Dunland."

p So they were being watched, spied upon, Leannan brooded unhappily. She walked into the camp with folded arms and grim face. "Hollin is no longer safe. We ought to move on again this evening." Leannan said, agreeing with Aragorn.

p Gandalf nodded solemnly, telling them that the Redhorn Gate would be watched as well. That did not prove well, for Leannan and the others had no idea how they would get over without being seen. Gandalf conferred with Aragorn, "As for moving as soon as it is dark, I am afraid you are right."

p Their rest had come to a quick close. Leannan was a little relieved; sitting around and doing nothing gave her too much time to think, and she did not like what came of that.

p So they remained in hiding for the rest of the day. The birds returned a couple more times, and they had to keep the fire out. Leannan spent the time sitting with the hobbits under the cover of a large stone and thick holly bushes, playing little games every now and then. They had just finished a riddle match when Boromir came over, crouched low, and said, "Leannan, get the halflings ready, we're moving out."

p She nodded and followed behind him. Keeping down low, she collected Merry and Pippin's supplies. Leannan looked up at the sky; dark clouds were rolling overhead, and the moon was a pale white shadow as the evening approached.

p Leannan yanked the rankled hobbits off the ground with Pippin complaining, "All because of a pack of crows! I had looked forward to a real good meal tonight…"

p "Shusssh." Merry silenced his friend with a glare and they both looked at Leannan and wondered at her grim mood. "I should think those crows had a much more serious reason for spoiling our day." He said.

p Leannan handed them their packs and replied stiffly, "Yes. And now we must hurry, no games now…it is not safe." She quickly left to gather together her own things and catch up with Aragorn.

p The two hobbits shared a look, feeling a little dejected, and continued on to join Frodo.

br

p "You seem distraught, my lady."

Leannan shifted her heavy pack and glanced over to find Boromir at her side, matching her pace and carefully watching her in the cold moonlight. She gave a shrug and shook her head, trying not to meet his gaze. " 'Tis nothing." She replied.

p Boromir was silent as they trekked along, their breath whisking out in misty clouds. He finally said, "I do not know if it is nothing, Leannan."

p Leannan gave him a slightly perturbed glance. "Don't we all have some distress on this journey?" She let out a frustrated breath. "Mine is more important than any other person here."

P With that she quickened her steps and passed the man, joining ranks with Merry and Pippin. Boromir stopped, leaning against one knee, and stared after her, pondering the woman's sharp attitude. Perhaps she was right, but she was the most delicate of the company and he was concerned for her.

p

P As they marched on for two more nights, climbing steadily but gradually up into the hills, the terrain was becoming dangerous so they continued on carefully. Leannan became very aware of the Caradhras as the company wound further and further into the bluffs. She was also aware of Boromir's attentiveness towards her. He often walked beside her, and they conversed to pass the time more quickly. Leannan would ask many questions about Gondor, for she had never been there, and of his adventures. Boromir was equally interested in Leannan's life among the elves and quite enthralled by her extensive knowledge of history and lore. They began to form a bond that Leannan became accustomed to- a companionship that she looked forward to during their long treks.

p It was on the third day that the mighty Caradhras stood close before them tipped in silver snow and dull red in the setting sunlight as if stained by blood. Leannan craned her neck and stared up at the glorious peak, feeling deep within her an uneasy stirring. I Darkness glowing red…our swords are but blades of ice. /I

p She felt like a sword made out of ice. She would melt as soon as she faced the flames; the flames that would prove her. Could she stand up beneath the darkness? Did she have the strength to prevail?

p The wind left them and there was silence. Cold silence. Leannan felt like they had suddenly stepped out of the raging winter storm into a surreal world of eerie silence.

p She stood at the edge of their path, looking down at the winding way they had traveled. Staring out at the expanse of the lands before them, Leannan felt the strange, intangible feeling of time slowing down. Stray snowflakes that floated down from the heavens seemed to linger in the sky and she found herself astonished at their intricate detail. Odd that she had never noticed before. She felt herself in the center of time, like everything around her had suddenly ceased its speeding race in life and she…she saw things; she saw the world in its cycle. A deep insight had overtaken her.

p "Tonight we shall be on our way high up towards the Redhorn Gate. We may well be seen by watchers on that narrow path, and waylaid by some evil," Leannan heard Gandalf telling them. "But the weather may prove a more deadly enemy than any. What do you think of your course now, Aragorn?"

p Leannan turned from her perch and musings and watched Aragorn. She knew this question had been debated before between the two. Frodo was close by, watching deeply, grim and quiet.

p The Redhorn Gate had been their initial course, but Leannan sensed that Aragorn did not trust the way any longer, and he said as much. But they had to keep moving, for evil continued to grow and surround them. They had to make haste, so they could reach a pass far south. The only pass towards the south that Leannan knew of was the Gap of Rohan, but still neither she nor Aragorn felt comfortable traveling that way. They did not know of the loyalties of the Horse-Lords and they knew that Saruman was a threat to them because Rohan laid close to Isengard, and that did not prove safe for them. It seem as if all the doors were slamming shut on them.

p Gandalf nodded solemnly at the ranger's reasoning. "There is another way, and not by the pass of Caradhras: the dark and secret way that we have spoken of."

P Leannan watched a look she could not determine pass over Aragorn as he flinched and quickly said, "But let us not speak of it again! Not yet. Say nothing to the others, I beg, not until it is plain that there is no way." He met Leannan's gaze, knowing that though she would not speak, she would agreed with him.

P Leannan shuddered at the gravity of their discussion.

p "We must decide before we go further." Gandalf pressed.

p Aragorn gave the wizard a pleading look. "Let us weigh the matter in our minds, while the others rest and sleep." He said. "And do not trouble Leannan with this decision; she has much weighing on her already."

p Leannan quickly looked at the ranger. What did he know of her troubles? Surely Legolas had not spoken to him. Were her emotions showing so evident in her after all? Or was it just a general comment on her welfare? Leannan was unsure and continued to brood over it for the rest of the day. She was afraid that her personal affairs, which were trivial in light of their, were more apparent to the rest of the company than she had thought.

p

p It was later into the day, and the sky was darkening with stars struggling to shine through heavy clouds. When they first entered into the crags, still moving in the direction of the Redhorn Gate, the company's pace had been steady and quick. But now it was becoming much too hard and straining, so they pushed on slower and with great strain.

p Merry was walking with her, and Leannan attempted to cheer him when she looked over at his glum countenance. She didn't blame him for walking back with her, for she was going much slower than everyone else and it would be easier on the hobbit's small legs. She normally had a swift pace, but not this day… as she was feeling very out of sorts and somewhat ill.

p "Don't look like such a bullfrog, Merry. I'll carry you in a half hour."

p The hobbit looked at her but didn't reply.

P Leannan sighed and started to sing a silly ditty she made up as she went,

p "Far ago long

p I met a lady fair

p She sang an atrocious song

p In a voice I could not bear

p 'Tis something I would not repeat for ye

p In case it caused an ache

p And though I have a pleasant voice,

p I will not repeat such words, you see

p For your own sake"

p Leannan continued singing nonsense until she ran out of rhymes and had finally dragged a laugh out of Merry. She laughed with him, "I know, 'tis nonsense and my rhymes have run dry. But I made you laugh didn't I?"

p "Indeed you did, my lady. But I would have to say, you should have stopped while you were ahead."

p Leannan gave the hobbit a playful smack just as Aragorn came slogging over towards them. "Leannan." He said, his face stern but thoughtful.

p "Yes?"Leannan replied, feeling immediately uneasy. She wrapped her arms around herself against the cold and glanced up at the shadowy sky. 'Twas close to midnight she deemed, and the area felt frightfully uncanny with thick shadows enveloping them so that Leannan could not see anything in the distance.

p Leannan looked back at Aragorn and his expression softened as he looked at her with the eyes of a father and not a leader. "We need to talk." He said.

p Leannan nodded, quite curious. "Of course." She said, though she had no notion of why he wished to speak with her.

p They were moving away from the rest of the travelers and Aragorn began to say, "Leannan, I need your-"

p "Aragorn!" Leannan suddenly exclaimed, lifting her hand in the air as a feeling of dread washing over her.

p The ranger stopped and followed her gaze up to the sky just as a strong, freezing gust of wind tore at them. Snow was falling so thickly Leannan could barely make out the company just a couple feet away through the falling whiteness. The flurries they had been receiving the past few days were suddenly gone and instead a harsh storm was forming.

p She was blinking rapidly, and Aragorn reached out for her.

p Leannan had expected severe weather, but not this soon, for they were not high enough for such heavy wind and snow. Seldom did these southern paths experience such conditions. She stared up the sky, the uneasy feeling within her raging more intensely, as if she could actually sense evil.

p Leannan shivered from the dread and from the cold. Her clothes were just about soaked through and she felt stiff and icy. I This is very strange. And unpleasant. /I She thought unhappily, trudging after Aragorn through the sheet of snow that was quickly covering their path.

p It was hard enough to see with the dark shadows of nightfall looming about them, but the swirling snow made it impossible. Leannan and Aragorn caught up with the others, their intended conversation completely forgotten.

p "This is what I feared." Gandalf said immediately when he saw them, his look very grim and exasperated. Leannan looked at him, ill at ease, as he glared at Aragorn. "What do you say now?"

p Boromir was at her side and he subtly laid a hand on her arm. They exchanged a look and Leannan said, "And so it begins."

p He nodded solemnly and Leannan felt so miserable that she leaned into his comforting grasp. "It could be worse." Boromir told her. Yes, this was only the least of their worries for this journey; this soft snow was just the beginning of the harsh fire they would face, Leannan brooded.

p "I wonder if this is a contrivance of the Enemy," said Boromir to the others, but meeting Leannan's eyes, trying to urge her to not look so downcast. "They say in my land that he can govern the storms in the Mountains of Shadow that stand upon the borders of Mordor. He has strange powers and many allies."

p I Oh thank you Boromir, I feel so much better now. /I Leannan huffed to herself, her willful sarcasm stirring with her annoyance. She knew very well that their enemy was powerful and crafty; and in truth, it scared her half to death. But Leannan had faced many of evils in her lifetime, surely she could stand against this one? Why had her courage abandoned her on the quest of the most importance- saving Middle-Earth? Why did she feel so useless at this vital point in history? Leannan had always been fearless and eager to take on any challenge or malevolence. But something was changing in her, and the fear long hidden inside of her was awakening. Something was happening that she couldn't explain, too many things were happening in her that she could not name…. which she had absolutely no concept of.

p

p Legolas stood nearby, his sharp gaze staring impassively, as the group of travelers each expressed their complaints over the sudden change in the weather. But something caught at not only his eyes, but also his heart-the closeness of Leannan and Boromir. He had trouble believing the two were in anything deeper than friendship, but feared it could be so. Leannan was hurt and gravely confused; could be it be that she had turned to the man from Gondor for comfort? Legolas could not pretend to fathom what went on inside of the woman, but he was perceptive, and he saw many battles raging inside of Leannan.

p Watching Boromir speak soft, encouraging words and Leannan slightly cling to him, Legolas' heart clenched. He could be the one to console her; he could be her rock. But she had pushed him away, discarded his offered love and even civil friendship. Legolas deemed that it would no doubt stay that way. His heart screamed that they were created for each other, but in his mind, he knew that it would not be. Leannan had made her decision.

p The snow was not as much of a nuisance to Legolas as it was to the others. It was a hindrance to his sight, but he could still see clear enough. His elvish clothing was not completely soaked through- though it would be in not too long- and he still didn't feel the bone chill that Leannan was obviously feeling.

p He inwardly smiled at her violent shivering and high-pitched voice as she tried to speak through it.

p "T-ttthis bloodddy snow!" She exclaimed furiously amidst the shaking of her body, huddled close to Boromir and holding one of the hobbits close to her "This i-is reason e-enough to throttle the dddirt out of our e-enemy!!"

p If only Legolas could go over and warm her himself, but such thoughts were quickly suppressed. p I Foolishness. /I He sighed.

p They finally attempted to continue trekking on through the blizzard, which subsided at times to taunt them, and then returned with full force. There was much grumbling, but Legolas remained mostly quiet. The entire company of stout heroes was thoroughly miserable. Even as time passed, Legolas became irritated, especially watching the suffering of the barefooted hobbits and Leannan.

p Leannan endured better than any woman could She trudged along, carrying one of the hobbits and staying close to Aragorn, so she would know of any sudden decisions. She was ever faithful to Aragorn, constantly there to offer advice and agree with him. Before they slept, she poured over maps and discussed possibilities with him, and; they rarely disagreed on a single subject. There was a bond between the ranger and his female ward that any person could recognize and envy. It wasn't father to daughter, but nor was it friend to friend. If there was something in between and yet more, it was the relationship of Aragorn and Leannan.

p Everyone finally halted all of a sudden, as if they had come to an agreement without words. It was time to stop and there was no question about it. No person wanted to move their frozen feet another step, and the darkness around them had become unbearably eerie.

p Legolas saw Aragorn and Gandalf exchanging many looks, Boromir's hand resting on his sword, and Leannan's eyes darting around everywhere. It must be some trickery of the wind in the mountain crevices but the shrill cries and wails of laughter were enough to raise the hairs on everyone's necks.

p His acute hearing picked up sounds coming from above, the creaking and cracking of stone. Before the company knew it, slabs of rock were whistling past their heads or crashing onto the path around them. Legolas' first instinct was to find Leannan, but he kept his feet planted and ready to dart out of the path of boulders.

p Boromir, who'd reached Leannan first and had his grasp on her arm, called to the others, "We cannot go further tonight! There are fell voices on the air; and these stones are aimed at us!"

p Legolas knew it was the wind, but there were many evil and hostile things in the world that had little liking to creatures with two legs. Not all were in league with their enemy, Sauron, but they held vehemence and purposes of their own.

p They bounced their complaints and ideas back and forth, everyone wanting shelter and some wanting to turn back. Legolas agreed with Aragorn when he said that going back would be useless, for they had seen no shelter as they passed.

p So they all huddled under the miniscule cliff-wall and tried to keep warm from the snow that invaded their vision and chilled their bones, as well as safe from the baneful boulders being chucked down from the mountains.

p Leannan held Merry and Frodo close, sitting between Boromir and Aragorn, Legolas leaned forward in the darkness and tried to catch a glimpse of Leannan's face, but she was busy whispering to Frodo.

p Suddenly, in the cold darkness, Sam blurted out, "If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house."

p

p Leannan held two of the hobbits near to her and began to fear for the small creatures. Merry's face was cold and pale; and Frodo seemed to be drifting in and out of a dream world. As for all of them, they were in foul moods. Already Leannan had exchanged sharp words with Gimli and glared at Boromir to leave her alone. The others were no better.

p She ran her hands through Merry's hair, which was icy and frozen, silently worried. Finally Boromir voiced what she wanted to, "This will be the death of the halflings, Gandalf." He said.

p Gandalf immediately drew out a leather flask of a precious elven liquid called I miruvor /I , which he had brought from Rivendell. It was passed around with a mouthful for each. Afterwards, they managed to build a small but awe-inspiring fire that was inflamed by the mystical magic of Gandalf, unfortunately the wood burned fast and the slush fell rapidly from the sky to destroy the struggling flame.

p Leannan sat as close to the dwindling fire as she could get. Things were looking quite bleak. She glanced over at Legolas, and her animosity welled at his obvious indifference to the ill weather. He was the only one still calm and amiable, though he did not flaunt it or even say much at all for that matter.

p While Gandalf and Boromir stood in the path they had previously ploughed with their bodies and disputed over whose idea for the next course of action was the better, Legolas could not keep so silent, for he had had enough of their pointless bickering.

p Legolas had already suggested that Gandalf melt the snow to make a path, but the wizard quickly cut in to assure the elf that it would not work. "If Elves could fly over mountains, they might fetch the Sun to save us."

p Next, Boromir declared that the strongest must seek their path and insisted on attempting to force his way through the snow. He gathered Aragorn, and the two used their strength and height to dig and plow through the deep snow, but it was to no avail and Leannan, to her shame, had to laugh at their effort. They were swimming in the snow rather than breaking through!

p Legolas too smiled and finally said, "The strongest must seek a way? But I say: Let a ploughman plough, but choose an otter for swimming, and for running light over grass and leaf, I or /I over snow…" He raised a brow. "An elf."

p With that, the elf, who made Leannan's human heart beat furiously, leapt gracefully atop the snow and stepped ahead of the company without sinking in or leaving a single print.

p He turned, his flaxen hair rippling in the wild, icy wind and looked towards the remaining company. To Gandalf he said, "Farewell! I go to find the Sun."

p Leannan quickly shut her eyes, willing herself not feel Legolas' triumph or admire his virile and nimble form atop the snow-covered path. When she reopened them, he was gone and she broke off from the company to be alone while they waited for his return.

Leannan found a place to rest, staring out towards the peaks surrounding them. She felt so small and useless in this world, just as she was on this mountainside- a mere speck. Leannan looked out into the great abyss and she felt light and so weak; her body and spirit fragile. With each gust of wind that her body, Leannan felt like she could fly away if she would just lift her arms.

p She rested her head between her knees, hugging herself close against the severe cold, and looked down the mountain as she fought sobs. She would not cry; she was a daughter of the wilderness; she was strong. But right then, Leannan felt anything but strong. It felt like the world was turning and she was out of sequence.

p Leannan remained where she was for a long time. Even when Aragorn and Boromir followed after Legolas, she did not insist on coming. And she was still there, at the brim of the precipice, when the men and Legolas returned.

p The others thought she was sleeping and did not disturb her, but Leannan was not asleep. Nor was she awake; she was lost. And Leannan continued her motionless repose.

p The company was talking of what Legolas had seen, discussing what they should do next. But Leannan did not join in, she did not even hear them. This journey was beyond her control; for she could not even control herself.

p Finally, Boromir realized that Leannan was not asleep and strode over to her side quickly.

p "Leannan?" He questioned; the sharp concern in his voice causing everyone else to turn and look. "Leannan?" He asked again, louder.

p Boromir turned and gave Aragorn a frantic look. "It is like she is sleeping, but her eyes are open." He reached out and shook the woman. "Leannan, are you ill? Please speak to me."

p A quivering hand shot out, and Leannan suddenly turned wide eyes towards the man of Gondor. To Boromir's bewilderment, her hand made contact with his face and she screamed. "Do not touch me!" She clawed at him and Boromir quickly seized her wrists as she continued to yell, her voice small and frenzied.

p "Ai!" She cried as if in pain, fighting against his grip on her. "Get away from me! Stop it!" Her foot kicked his shin and Boromir stumbled back, painfully shocked.

p Aragorn exchanged a dark look with Gandalf and moved a step back from Leannan. Nobody moved or touched her. Only Leannan's sobs sounded on the mountainside. She was crouched against a boulder and covering her head. The company was fearfully aware of something mysterious.

p Several moments passed, and Leannan seemed to calm a little. She was no longer sobbing but remained in her position and whispered almost inaudibly. Legolas' acute ears picked up some words that he shared with the others, his voice solemn.

p " I Ai, ainur. Cuviad amin…. Nwalmad amin. /I "

p "Awakening me, tormenting me." Gandalf repeated quietly.

p The company could only stand and stare in confusion and unease until finally Leannan seemed to cease and called out softly, "Aragorn." The man was immediately at her side, though not touching her in the likelihood of some evilness upon her. He spoke softly, willing her to be at peace and tell him what had happened. But it was as if she had been weakened by something unseen, like she was so afraid that she could not even define to them what was happening. She did reach out a thin, fair hand and clutch Aragorn's arm tightly.

p Time passed as they stood in silence and anticipation. Finally Leannan met Aragorn's gaze and said to him, in an attempt to explain what happened even though she herself did not even understand, "There is a battle…inside of me." Her eyes were dark and faraway, she was afraid and confused.

p Aragorn could merely stare at the woman with dark concern and futilely wish he could do something. A deep darkness settled on the company, what was happening inside of the lady ranger…was it some evil? Why would the things of darkness trouble a simple woman like Leannan? Or was it real at all? It was startling and puzzling to them.

p Though Leannan recovered and continued on pushing through the snow with the rest of them, seeming to be back to her normal self, she was still quiet and uneasy- which made everyone else feel the same.

p It did not help their eerie feelings when Aragorn called out, "The birds again!" p When he said this, Leannan shuddered. The powers of their enemies seeming so real and evident, her senses so alive that it terrified her immensely, convincing her that there had to be some evilness inside of her

p Their journey through the Caradhras was finished; they had been defeated. The mountain was slowly killing them all, and the birds were a further sign that something foul was working against them. So they turned their backs to the Redhorn and retreated as they had come.

p Leannan looked behind her shoulder as they trudged downwards and sighed deeply. What way would they go now? They had already discussed this several times, but now that they were leaving the Caradhras, they were forced to find some other way past the mountains. [Suddenly, she remembered the conversation between Aragorn and Gandalf. p I "There is another way, and not by the pass of Caradhras: the dark and secret way that we have spoken of." /I

p Leannan stirred at the wizard's former words. She knew of what he spoke and she felt a glimmer of excitement and anxiety. This would indeed be a test of her strength, both physical and inner.

p She pursed her lips and stared out among the grey fog and dim light that encircled the mountains. So that's what Gandalf was thinking…

p The Mines of Moria.