Anxiety, this is a change, I don't ever remember feeling nervous like this beforeHeero stepped forward until he as only a nose away from Duo and stopped, paralyzed, completely unable to move. what the hell is wrong with me

"Heero are you alright? You seem to be, frozen." Duo smirked, "Is this your first kiss?" how cool would that be

"Ye…Yes." Ok now my voice is shaky, I have no clue how that could happen"Never like, a touch or caress of lips to convey a greeting, love, etc."

"Well then, I suppose I could kiss you first." Heero nodded. Yippy

Heero's heart rate accelerated far above normal, a change Heero had never allowed to happen before. What now? Duo closed the space between them, he raised his hand to run his thumb across Heero's cheek, then his lips met Heero's, gentle a first, then more wanting, Heero gasp. soft, warm, home

Duo forgot this was Heero's first kiss, he forgot Heero just wanted to practice, he forgot the time limit, he forgot everything except Heero was here with him, kissing him. Heero did the same. For a short time, but what had seemed like a happy forever, they were both in bliss. Finally Duo pulled back to catch some breath. "Very good." He said a little shakier than he would have liked.

Heero always the poised thinker, recovered his thoughts, "I believe that was a little more than 25 seconds."

"Yea, well, that was to test the ground." Heero nodded, as Duo swept a hand over his bangs. "Next time, could you put your hands here," he placed one of Heero's hands on his hip, "and here." He put the other on the small of his back. "Your good with double tasking, so try to breath with your nose, so you don't have to break away, or several small kisses, like teasing." Heero nodded again. "For public the kiss should be respectful, less suck my face off, more cherished, loved, okay?" Heero grunted an affirmative. "She'll probably not touch your face, like I did, more like this." Duo put his hand flat against Heero's chest, and the other at the base of his neck.

I think I liked the face thing, hu? Heero was jerked from his thoughts as Duos head fell to his chest, the hand on his neck lowered to his upper arm. "Duo?"

"Hu?" Duo looked up, "Oh, sorry, let's work on the public type of kiss, ok?" I can't believe I just lost myself like that; it was just so, so very right

"Alright." Duo looks sadHeero closed the space between them this time. He did as Duo instructed a kiss for someone cherished, loved. Heero would do anything for this feeling, the feeling of something he had never had, a home. This time it was a knock that broke them.

"Master Maxwell, the dinner party will start soon, also have you seen Master Yuy?"

"Yes, he's here, we'll be down soon, thank you."

"Very well."

Heero turned to leave, "Just one more thing," it may be wishful thinking but…"if it feels off or different, don't show it, and try to keep count, don't get rapped up in it, ya know?" He smiled as Heero nodded and for the umpteenth time muttered a 'thank you' and left.

Duo sat on his bed, pulled a pillow over his face, and cried.

"Heero darling!" Relena bounded into the room, before she realized that noble people where in attendance and regained her composure.

"Relena."

Later that night, Miss. Relena took center stage to deliver a speech, at the end of which was the 'big kiss'.

"Thank you everyone." The audience applauded, as Relena motioned for Heero to come forward, just as Duo said she positioned herself mush like him, only with more room between their bodies, as their lips met Heero actually felt more empty, he found himself painfully counting the seconds and fighting to take Duo's advice about looking believable, he must have pulled it off because as he broke it off, the applause were thunderous. Heero bowed, leaving so Relena could have her spotlight, he felt a little sick.

No, he felt more than a little sick, "I'm going to retire." He told a servant as he headed for his room. Just before he reached his appointed destination however, he heard someone crying, not just someone Duo. Heero felt an odd clench in his chest, it hurt, he had to see Duo. He knocked on the door, "Duo, Duo are you alright?" The door opened about a minute later, and a disheveled Duo poked his head out.

"Wada ya want Heero?" great now he knows I was crying, what an idiot I am

"You were, you were crying?" the statement came out sounding far more like a question, than intended. he really looks puffy"Are, are you ok?"

The genuine concern in Heero's voice had Duo choking back another sob, "I'm fine." He smiled, chuckling. "I'm completely fine, sweetie, why wouldn't I be?" He patted Heero on the shoulder, before tossing the arm over said shoulder, "so how was the 'big kiss'" Duo ask leading Heero down the hallway towards their rooms.

Heero suddenly didn't feel so sick anymore, he found himself subconsciously leaning into Duo's arm, "No so perfect."

Duo arched a brow, "Really?" he sounded sympathetic, it's yo birthday, it's yo birthday"Well, what happened did you mess up?" he hated it, please, he hated it"did it feel… off." please, please

"Yea, it did it felt… wrong somehow." did Duo just smile

"Aw, too bad, maybe it was the public, anxiety?" wrong, wrong, is now my favorite word

"Maybe, I felt a little sick afterward, do you think I could have a cold, or well maybe it was anxiety because I'm feeling much better presently."

"Well, let's see," the two stopped and Duo put his hand to Heero's forehead, "You don't seem to have a fever, it was probably anxiety, I mean there were lots of people, how exactly did it feel?"

Heero considered this a moment, "Like a chore, a mission, not enjoyable, it may have been the crowd, that may have made it feel similar to a mission, because you and I were alone and Relena was in the public eye."

"Yea" damn I wish it weren't the public, wait did he just say, inadvertently, I'm a better kisser, yea, yea I think he did, YIPPY, even if it's a fluke, YAY

"Duo," Duo looked up at Heero he has pretty eyes"do people who are 'dating' kiss often?"

"Yea, if they like each other a lot, why?" please don't tell me you wanna start kissing Relena all the time, please if god is out there say it ain't so

"I want to see how it feels without the people around, that is the only plausible difference for the drastic difference in feeling, thank you Duo, goodnight." Heero turned and entered his room.

"I hate my life!" Duo said and he opened his door.

"Why? Hilde, who was sitting in his chair reading, ask looking up from her book. Duo seems really depressed, well time to weasel out the reason

"Nothing, Hil, jus nothing."