WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive"

Sir Walter Scott

Chapter One

Meeting at St Mungo's

My name is Lavender Brown and I'm in my seventh year at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. I always said that the boys at school were immature and that it would be great to date someone older, but I never thought I would end of dating a teacher, and I certainly never thought I would end up dating two teachers at the same time. That's what's happened though and now I am really in trouble. I don't know what to do because I really like them both. It's all so complicated because of course neither of them know that I'm going out with the other, and to top it all off they can't stand each other.

Ok look, before you start judging me and saying "she deserves to have no one if she's just going to two time on them" and "it's a disgrace, she shouldn't be going out with a teacher (let alone two) seeing as she's just a student" let me explain how it all happened. Let me also just say that neither Gilderoy nor Lupin were teachers at Hogwarts when we first got together.

The whole thing started on the first day of the summer holidays after I had just finished my sixth year at school. I'm an only child, and great as that can be for receiving large birthday presents and getting lots of attention, when you've been surrounded by your friends at school all year, going home can be a bit lonely. My mum is a witch but dad is a muggle, which means that there's often lots of funny things being said and done at home. This is kind of ok for about an hour after the holidays start and you're still happy to see your parents again, but after that you pretty much want them to just leave you alone. My best friend Parvati has a twin sister and I'm a little of jealous of her because it means she always has someone to talk to, or gossip with, or check out cute boys with.

Anyway, I was sitting in my room, not really doing much and wondering how I was going to fill a whole month at home with my parents, when a small tawny coloured owl tapped his beak on the window to be let in. I quickly went to open it as getting an owl is always exciting, especially if there's a chance that it might be from that cute guy in Ravenclaw, Ethan Sutherland. I opened the window and the owl flew in and started fluttering around the room quite excitedly. I could see the role of parchment tied to its leg but the stupid thing wouldn't stand still long enough for me to untie it. Eventually I grabbed a jumper off my bed and with more luck than anything managed to throw it over the owl. I put my hands under my jumper and quickly untied the letter, realizing at the same time that I had used my favorite pink cashmere cardigan to catch the owl. Great, I thought, now it'll probably smell like a barn. I pulled it off the owl which did one circuit of my room hooting in a sickly kind of way, and then swooped out the open window.

I looked at my letter and I could tell at once it wasn't from Ethan as I recognized Parvati's handwriting on the front. Typical, it's always the cute ones that never owl, and the dorky ones (like Ronald Weasley) who hang around. I unrolled the letter and started to read.

Hi Lavender,

I know we've only been back a day but I'm going crazy here! Padma is sick with the flu and my grandmother is staying with us for a while. That wouldn't be so bad I guess, but she keeps making Padma drink these old Indian potions that she learnt to make about a million years ago, but I reckon they're just making her worse 'cause grandma's memory isn't too good and she keeps forgetting which ingredients she's added. About an hour ago Padma came out with lime green spots all over her face and she was sooooo embarrassed! Hey anyway what I'm writing for is I was wondering if you wanted to meet me in London tomorrow? I know it's kind of a long way for you to travel but could you convince your dad to let you travel by floo powder? My grandpa's sick and in St Mungo's at the moment (that's why grandma's staying with us) and I'm supposed to go visit him. If you want we could do that quickly and then go and look at some of the Muggle shops.

If you want to meet up send me an owl straight back. We can meet outside The Leaky Cauldron at 10am.

Bye!

Parvati

PS I'm sorry about Jacob (the owl) he accidentally drank some of grandma's latest potion and I think it's turned him a bit weird!

Well I don't like hospitals (not that I've really ever been to any), too many sick people....but the idea of some muggle shopping was tempting. Since everything that's been happening with You Know Who in the last few years, mum is always really worried about me, but dad' even worse. You'd think being a muggle it would be better, but unfortunately it's twice as bad. He thinks doing things like traveling on the floo network is highly dangerous even at the best of times. Since mum has been so uptight it's only made him more careful and protective of me. Still if I try all my charm with him then I'll probably be allowed to go.

As I thought after getting dad a cup of tea and the newspaper last night, and obligingly bringing him his favorite snack of fairy bread (my dad's a bit strange) he was quite amenable to me going to London with Parvati especially when he heard that we were ding a good deed by visiting someone in hospital. So I found myself outside the leaky Cauldron the next morning waiting for Parvati. At about ten past ten I saw her making her way across the street towards me.

"Hi, thanks heaps for coming," Parvati said breathlessly.

"That's ok, but I hope you know where you're going because I have no idea where St Mungo's is," I replied.

"Oh yeah it's this way," she said leading me down the street. "Oh by the way," she added "Padma found out that Ethan Sutherland is dating some second year girl. Can you belive it, guys at school just have no idea..."

"Typical," I said rolling my eyes "Second year girls are probably about the mental level of all the guys in our year anyway. They're so immature".

"I know," Parvati sighed "But how are we ever going to meet anyone then?"

"Wait 'till we leave school I guess," I replied gloomily. In fact the news about Ethan had put me in a bad mood.

"Are you still thinking about working for the Department of Divination?"

"Um...maybe, I don't know really". Actually I had been thinking a lot lately about what I wanted to do when I left school and Parvati and I had sort of made plans to try and get a job with the Ministry. Professor Trelawney said we both had great potential as future seers. But for some reason I wasn't so sure it's what I wanted to be doing with my life. The problem was I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to do either.

Parvati stopped and looked at me.

"Lavender, I thought we had it planned," she said crossly. "We'll be in seventh year soon and we need to get our lives organized".

"Ok ok," I said "Don't get in a huff about it".

Parvati kept walking but didn't say anything until we reached an abandoned looking department store where all the mannequins were wearing ghastly clothes that looked about 30 years out of fashion. She stopped in front of a window displaying a mannequin wearing a particularly hideous synthetic green outfit.

"Looking for a new outfit for the Yule Ball this year?" I asked a an attempt to lighten Parvati's grumpy mood.

She didn't reply but instead said to the mannequin "I'm here to visit Sanjeev Patel".

Suddenly the mannequin beckoned with one finger and Parvati stepped through the glass. Realizing that this must be St Mungo's I followed her through. We found ourselves in a busy reception area where a harried looking witch was directing people from behind a large desk. I had never been to a wizarding hospital before, although I had visited my grandmother in a muggle hospital two years ago and that had been awful. This seemed different though, and instead of being repulsed I was strangely fascinated by the maladies the witches and wizards around me were exhibiting. A girl of about my age was walking up to the desk with a long stripped tail coming out from under her robes. It twitched slightly as she started talking in a hushed voice to the witch behind the counter.

"C'mon, grandpa's on the fourth floor," Parvati said tugging at my robe and leading me towards a staircase.

"He got into a bit of a pickle with his neighbour over some wandering dewsuckle he was growing," she explained. "It ended up wandering into his neighbor's garden and eating all his prize blue roses. There was a few spells thrown and well grandpa ended up being unable to walk in a straight line. He jut keeps going round in a circle as soon as he stands up. He's getting better though," she added as we came to a landing and a pair of double doors with a sign reading "Ward Four: Spell Damage" above them.

We walked down the dimly lit corridor and past quite a few rooms. I couldn't help sneaking a peak into some of them to see what problems people had. Parvati was walking briskly looking straight ahead and so she didn't see who was in room 27, but I did. Those amazing good looks and brilliant white smile were hard to forget. It was Gilderoy Lockhart my old defense against the dark arts teacher. But what was he doing here? I vaguely remembered some story about him getting hurt in the so called Chamber of Secrets and that was why he had to leave the school, but surely that wasn't the reason he was here? I mean that was years ago.

I realized I had stopped walking and was standing outside Lockhart's door when he turned and looked at me. A wide smile broke out on his face and he started towards me. I quickly turned to go but not before he called out

"Oh hello! It's so nice of you to come and see me!".

At that moment a rather serious looking Healer walked over to us

. "Are you here visiting Gilderoy?" he asked with a smile. "It's always wonderful for him to have visitors especially as he's getting so much better now".

"Ahhh, um well.." I mumbled as Gilderoy jumped forward and took my hand. He was wearing light blue robes which I noticed exactly matched the colour of his eyes. He didn't seem to have changed much since I had last seen him, although his blond hair was a lot shorter now. He was still really good looking though and the fact that he was holding my hand sent a little shiver up my back.

"Of course she's here to see me!" exclaimed Lockhart still holding my hand "Do you think a beautiful woman would be here to see you Finnigan?" he asked the Healer jovially, giving him a conspiratorial wink.

A beautiful woman! He had called me a woman....His hand was warm and still wrapped around mine and all of a sudden I really didn't want him to let go.