I don't know how long I stood there just staring at him, drinking in his appearance, his smell, his confident air.

"How are you?" he asked me softly, taking my elbow and led me to a less noisy part of the room.

I shrugged, my face burning. "I'm ok. How are you?"

He smiled. "I'm good. A little tired."

I don't know why seeing him was so awkward, we're both adults, capable of human interaction, but at that point in time, it's was like all vocabulary and rational thoughts flew out of my head and left me a walking human shell.

"How was college?"

I smiled. "Different. Certainly an experience."

Adam smiled. "I know what you mean."

Did I mention Adam went to Yale? Well, he did.

I looked at him shyly. "I missed you."

He looked surprised. "You did?"

I nodded. "I really did."

"I missed you too."

It was my turn to look surprised. I half-expected him to be married, or at least engaged, and me the furthest thing from his mind.

"Hey! Mr. Avalanche!" Guy called from across the room and Adam turned around.

"I'll catch up with you later, ok?" Adam said softly, touching my forearm lightly.

I nodded and watched him stride across the room to give Guy a hug.

I sank down onto the couch and sipped my beer thoughtfully.

I'd always known Adam. Known who he was, what he did. We only became friends after we all started at Eden Hall, just after he got "upgraded" to Varsity. And after that, he was just there for me. When I got my first A in my physics class, to the time I broke my arm playing street hockey. I don't think I have a single memory since I was twelve that doesn't involve Adam Banks in some way.

We became really good friends in high school, we were always there for each other. I was there for Adam in our sophomore year when his grandfather died, and shortly after that, his grandmother died. I was there when he got his acceptance letter from Yale, and I was there when his parents got divorced. No matter what happened, we where always there.

But now, looking at him laughing and talking with Guy, Charlie and Goldberg, he doesn't seem like the same person that used to play Nintendo in my living room when we were thirteen, or the same boy that used to gang up against me and Connie when we were nine. He was this grown-up man, who had this life I hadn't been in for the past four years, and suddenly, he was home. He's playing hockey with Colorado Avalanche, and he graduated from Yale with a degree and masters in business management and fundamental information technology.

I don't know what I expected coming to this party. I don't know if I expected it to be the same, to still be eighteen and love throwing spitballs at each other. Or did I expect for all of us to be completely different? It's both, we're still all good friends, at least, the Ducks are. But in the same light, we've all grown up, but there are a few I would imagine still enjoy throwing spitballs.

A loud burst of laughter exploded from where Adam was, talking with his friends. I watched as he clapped Guy on the back and leant forward in hysterics. I smiled and took a sip of my beer. He was so majestic. So captivating and alluring. Adam was one big adjective.

I got up and made me way out onto the back patio, looking out into the night. I wasn't in the mood to party. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

I took a deep breath and looked across the Moreau's backyard and tried to remember it as it was four years ago.

"Want some company?"

A shiver ran up my spine at Adam's voice and I turned around. "I won't say no."

He smiled and leant up against the railing. "Nice night, huh?"

I shrugged. "I woulda thought you'd want to be in there with your adoring public."

He shrugged. "It's not that great. I get it at the games."

"Congratulations. About Avalanche, I mean."

"Thanks," he said softly. "Remember all the times we used to play tackle football out there?" He pointed to the oak tree in the yard.

I nodded. "It was a little more tackle than it was football, if I can remember."

He laughed. "True. But we all had some good times."

"Like the time we accidentally started that fire because Charlie kept insisting that you couldn't make a spark by rubbing two sticks together." I laughed.

Adam nodded, a smile on his face. "We got into so much trouble for that, despite our best efforts to convince Mrs. Moreau it was an accident."

I sighed. "So much has happened..."

"I know," Adam said softly. "A lot has happened."

I waited for him to say more, but he didn't, just sighed and looked over the dark lawn.

I didn't know what to say. It had been so long, and were we completely different people now.

"It's weird, isn't it?"

I laughed nervously. "I thought I was the only one thinking that."

Adam turned to me. "This really isn't the place to talk...can we get together sometime?"

My heart sped up and I looked into those familiar blue eyes and saw what I'd always seen when I looked at Adam. Truth. Love. Happiness. Mystery. I was drawn to those eyes like a moth to the light.

"Yes," I breathed. "I'd love that."

"Can I call you?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

He leaned down and kissed my cheek, and then disappeared back inside.

I sighed and leant against the railing, trying to calm my thumping heart. How could he still do this to me after four years? How does he make me feel like that?

I watched the Ducks through the window, talking and laughing, like the past four years had only been an instant.

I envied them.

I lay in bed that night, tossing and turning, my head full of thoughts I couldn't decipher.

I pulled my worn patchwork quilt up around my chin and sighed.

How did I feel?

Confused.

Seeing Adam...it was like a slap in the face, sorta. Like waking up from a dream and seeing the person you dreamt about sitting on the edge of your bed.

I didn't get another chance to talk to him, after our little conversation on the patio, but I watched him practically all night. I watched Charlie try to get him drunk, and I watched Julie drunkenly hit on him all night. I swear, she's had the biggest crush on him since they were twelve.

I watched him and Russ carry Dwayne out to a taxicab, and I watched when he was having an all out cheese war with Goldberg and Averman. He didn't win, but it was fun to watch. And then I watched him have a seemingly in deep conversation with Fulton.

I bugged Fulton the whole way home about it, but he wouldn't budge, he just said it had to do with Adam's family and how he didn't want to stay at his Dad's place.

But that was it, that's all he'd tell me, so I can't sleep.

I rolled over and kicked my leg out from under the covers.

A high-pitched ringing startled me.

My cell phone.

I tumbled out of bed and grabbed it from my bag, answering it breathlessly.

"Hello?"

"Hey...I didn't wake you did I?"

I nearly dropped the phone as Adam's voice hit my ear.

"Uh, no. I couldn't sleep."

"And why is that?"

I shrugged and settled back down on my bed, flicking on my lamp. "Thinking."

"About?"

I smiled. "Lot's of things."

"Like?" he prompted.

I laughed. "Like world peace, and starving children, and how I'm going to take over the world."

Adam laughed. "Me too!"

"I'm just thinking about life," I admitted. "Seeing everyone again was a bit of a trip...and the fact I graduated college in one piece..."

"Tell me about it," Adam agreed. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and be a freshmen at Yale and have to do it all again."

I picked at a thread on my blanket. "I was thinking about you, too."

Dear God why did I say that?

"Oh?" There was an element of surprise to Adam's voice. "What were you thinking?"

"Just how good it was to see you again," I said softly.

"It was good to see you too."

It was weird, I was more nervous about talking to him on the phone than face to face.

"It was weird going off to Yale, not having you by my side. I'd become so used to having you there when I needed you...college was a culture shock."

I smiled in my dark room. "Tell me about it. It was like I was being punished."

"And now you're a doctor..."

There was a heavy silence that hung between us, and it made me nervous.

"Why is this so weird?" I asked.

On the other end, Adam sighed. "Because of all our history."

I nodded. "Our history..."

Adam sighed. "Do you remember all the times we spent together?"

"Of course," I told him. "Of course I remember, how could I forget?"

Something sounded on his end of the line. "All the times we spent at your house? All those times I climbed up the drainpipe to your window?"

I laughed. "I remember. It'd take you forever, but you'd get there."

Something hit my window and I jumped.

"What?" Adam demanded on the other end.

"Something's at my window."

I got up and approached the glass cautiously. I pulled the curtains open to see Adam's smiling face on the other side.

"Surprise."

I laughed and opened the window, and he threw his body in. I saw that his skin had a clammy quality to it.

"Are you stalking me?" I accused, hanging up my phone.

Adam smiled shyly. "Maybe. Why, do you want me to be stalking you?"

I crossed my arms over my pyjama t-shirt. "I'll have to think about that."

He grinned at me and shoved his cell phone into his pocket. "I hope you don't mind me showing up...things are unbearable at my Dad's house..."

"Why? What's up?"

Adam shrugged and moved across my room, his fingers running over my furniture. "Wow."

I went over to see what he'd found. The puck.

"You kept it? After all these years?"

"Yeah. I did." I looked away shyly as Adam stared at me, the puck in his hands.

"God, I swore you'd take one look at it and chuck it out." He put it back on my desk.

"I never could've done that."

"I probably shouldn't have come here tonight."

"Why?" I asked, sitting down on my bed, leaning back against the headboard.

He shrugged. "Because this is weird for you."

"It's weird for you too," I pointed out.

He sat down on my couch. "I just wanted to see you."

"You did?"

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his hair. "Dr. Reed..."

I smiled. "Don't remind me."

"Have you worked in a hospital yet?"

I nodded. "I did work experience for a year in California, and I start at Minnesota General on Monday."

"That's really good...I'm happy for you."

I smiled. "Remember when I had to do that really hard anatomy exam in senior year at Eden Hall? You stayed up all night and helped me study."

Adam smiled. "I would've done anything for you," he said and got up and sat down next to me on my bed. "I should go."

I covered his hand with mine. "Probably."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "We'll have lunch or something, ok?"

I nodded. "Bye..."

I watched him get up and climb out my window and down the drainpipe.

And then he was gone.

Just like that.