Drei

Part 4

By Mieren

Half an hour later, Evan paid Scott twenty dollars, still aghast that the three puffy blue boys had not only finished the pizzas, but had ordered another two dozen along with three of everything off of the local Chinese restaurant's menu. Kitty and Rogue had called their bet a draw. Storm had indeed exploded when she saw the mess, but she had also ended up making Forge clean up the chaotic, greasy mess despite his protests that his time would be better spent in the lab trying to 'fix' Kurt.

The fuzzballs had mysteriously disappeared from the kitchen when they were done eating, clearly avoiding the responsibility of cleaning the chaotic mess they had created. Having wandered up from the lab for a snack, Beast could only stare in shock at the piles of licked-clean boxes that filled the large room. He gingerly began helping Forge with the work, wary of getting grease in his fur but at the same time wanting the young genius free to work in the lab. The sooner they got Kurt back to normal, the safer it would be for the rest of the mansion.

"I was thinking," Forge said as he stuffed another stack of pizza boxes into an oversized garbage bag. "If we reversed the polarity of my device and reduced the amplitude and frequency…"

"That will take a lot of rewiring," Hank said, sighing. He hefted a few filled bags over his shoulder to haul out to the dumpster. "And we still need to do repairs. The motherboard needs to be replaced."

"Couldn't fix it, huh?"

"What did you expect? It has a spork imbedded in it."

"Any luck with the CD ROM?"

"Yeah. I finally managed to get the rubber chicken out."

"Did you get around to the monitor too?" Forge asked. Hank froze in his tracks.

"What's wrong with the monitor?" he groaned.

"It's filled with butterscotch taffy."

Beast dropped his head and sighed, chin resting against his chest. "I *told* you he'd get mad if we ran that last test."

"How was I supposed to know he'd freak out if he was five seconds late to eat?" Forge asked incredulously. He got a flat look in return and he grimaced. "Never mind."

* * *

Wolverine stomped into the mansion, looking to ring a certain fluffy blue mutant's neck. His parking space in the garage had been dug up to create a four-foot deep hole, which had then been filled with expired baby food and covered with aluminum foil painted to match the garage floor. His radiator was filled with moldy carrot paste and someone was going to die. Slowly and painfully.

"ELF!" he roared.

Muffled giggles arose from a number of areas around him and he quickly became suspicious. He sniffed the air to pinpoint locations and promptly gagged at the smell of the rancid paste covering him. A poorly hidden snort sounded off to his left and he spun to face his soon to be skewered audience. No one was there. He blinked in confusion before storming further into the mansion to look for the certain someone who was about to be made into a fuzzy blue rug. He didn't see Jean floating high above him, video camera in hand. He was so angry that he didn't notice her following him, either.

Knowing the habits of the fuzzball, Logan headed straight for the kitchen stalking up to the wiry figure that had half crawled into the fridge and lifted him by the scruff of his neck. He violently shook the figure as he began ranting.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!?" he roared.

Golden eyes blinked up at him lazily and a furry blue shoulder shrugged, unconcerned.

"I did not do it, Herr Logan," he said calmly, casually biting into a slice of pizza in his hand that had somehow escaped the earlier feeding frenzy. "Kurt did."

"What are you talking about?" Wolverine roared. "Training room! Now! We're not leaving until you've lost at least two limbs."

"Scheisse! Why am I being punished for what Kurt did?"

Logan's eye twitched. "Then who exactly are you?" he growled sarcastically.

"I'm Wagner!"

"What?" Logan said intelligently.

"If you want, I'll take you to Kurt! Just leave me out of it! And put me down! You're getting that goop in my fur!"

Reluctantly, Logan set the furball down. He had to restrain himself from just skewering the glaring mutant but he did allow himself to grind his teeth audibly.

"And where, exactly, is Kurt?"

"With Nightcrawler."

Logan began talking to himself in his head. Deep breath. In. Out. Repeat process. Do not kill. Do… Not… Kill. Do not make a mess in Ororo's kitchen. She'll fry whoever's at fault. Metal is a great conductor. Damn.

"Come on," he grated, deciding that the fuzzy elf had lost his mind. "We're going to go talk to Chuck."

Golden eyes narrowed slightly in irritation, but the fuzzy mutant complied, following Wolverine out of the kitchen and down the hall, passing by the room that contained the almighty entertainment center in the process. Logan caught a glint of white as something was tossed to the blue teen following him. Two streaks of blue shot out of the doorway to their right. Hooting and mad laughter echoed loudly in the hall as three identical blue blurs circled him at impossible speeds before escaping in puffs of sulfurous smoke. Still in shock, Logan could only stare at the spot where he had last seen three Kurts just before they disappeared. Several seconds ticked by in silence before he realized that he had just been mummified in toilet paper.

"I don't know what's going on and I don't want to," he said in a flat tone. "I think I need to search Canada a little longer."

When he turned, he found Jean grinning at him behind a video camera. Sighing, he brushed past her and proceeded towards the garage and his poor, abused motorcycle. After pulling the slimed vehicle out of the vat of spoiled baby food, and spending a few hours getting the goop off of his otherwise flawless bike, he started up the sleek machine and gunned it. So help him, he would escape before the fuzzy blue monsters multiplied again.

To Be Continued…

Sorry about that. I've always wanted to see Wolverine TP'ed. I couldn't resist. ^_^ Next stop, the brotherhood! R&R!