May 30-31, 2004

Nube by Goddess of Anime

Disclaimer: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I no own so you no sue.

Claimer: Although I may not own Inu-Yasha I do own the following: Vira, Virisa, Butterfly, Kiri, and Zane. Thanks for listening to the Annoying One. Have a great day.

Reviews For Last Chapter (RFLC): 0

The last chapter was pointless, but I just could not resist. I really do hope that this one is better. I'm also seriously considering that I'll stop posting this until I get more reviews. Honestly, it's ridiculus. I have no clue if I'm skrewing this, if anyone likes it, or if people just either hate me or don't care. Now I'm really annoyed....

Scroll 11: At Cusp of Self
Sighing heavily Miroku settled down on a rock near the bank of the Oshiro River. Inu-Yasha was sleeping, same for both girls. He knew that Shippou was near-by, but something felt different; different in a horrible way. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a fore-finger and thumb. It's only stress, he reminded himself. It didn't help that everyone was showing that feeling.

A branch snapped a little ways away from him. He held his shakujo at the ready, standing stock-still. "Miroku?" a gentle voice asked. The monk relaxed and put his holy staff at ease. Sango appeared in the moon-light, washing her over with a pure silver light. She gave him a concerned look. "What are you doing here?"

"Thinking," he replied automatically and shrugged. What he said was the truth, but why did he feel so guilty?

Sango delicately pressed her fingers against the trunk, her eyes distant and sad. "What are we going to do about Shippou? I feel that he is close but it doesn't feel like the Shippou we know." Miroku nodded in agreement. He felt like his throat had collapsed on itself. He cleared his throat and croaked out, "Sango?"

She looked up at him, tears threatening to fall. "Yes, Lord Miroku?" Miroku winced when he heard 'Lord'. He thought that after all this time she would consider him enough of a friend to just call him by his name. Sango blushed lightly out of embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she apologized.

Maybe there was hope for them after all. She seemed to know what was wrong without him saying a word. Miroku looked away, hoping that she couldn't see his burning face. "Sango, I have a question. Please don't say or do anything until I'm finished, okay?" Sango nodded, waiting for him to go on. Breathing heavily he studied his fingernails. "I've asked you before, and I didn't really mean it when I said it then. Sango...." he looked at her puzzled face. "Will you bear my child?"

Her eyes widened in surprise and her hand dropped to her side. "Miroku, of course I do. But I think we need to wait. There's Shippou and Naraku to take care of and I suspect that Virisa will be a problem as well." Tears sprung in her eyes and Miroku felt an overwhelming need to make her feel safe and somehow make things right in world just she wouldn't look so unhappy and lost.

He felt like as if something else was in control of his body as he pulled her in his arms. It felt so right, though. "Knowing's enough," he whispered in her ear. He could feel her smile and her arms looped around his neck. "I'm glad," she whispered back.

Her body tensed as Miroku locked his arms around her waist and then relaxed when she realized that he wasn't going to do anything. She kissed him and smiled, pulling back unwillingly. "We should head back. I'm beginning to feel tired." Miroku nodded and helped her down, one hand holding hers and another on the small of her back.

Fiddling with the zipper of her sleeping bag she wondered where Inu-Yasha had gone. Nervously she tucked nonexistent ebony strands of hair behind her ears. She was gaunt and her face was wan. She curled into a ball and fingered her name that she had written in Sharpie marker: KAGOME HIGURASHI.

Kagome needed something, anything, that was familiar. A tear road down her cheek as an idea as to where he was came into her mind. The poor girl worked so hard to stay with him, and she did this for both of them. Yet, he was always running in the other direction.

Kagome balled the fabric in her fist. It just wasn't fair. She went back and forth between different time eras,had miraculously kept her sanity, and loved the dog demon to the point when her body ached. She sucked in air noisily through clenched teeth. He wanted the dead girl? Fine, he could have her. If that was the case he wasn't getting her, Kagome.

Tears threatened to fall and she bit down on her bottom lip to stop them. That just wasn't enough. They tumbled down her cheeks and chin and landed into her loosely curled hands. "I love, Inu-Yasha," she whispered to the creatures of the dark. "Gods, I love you."

Panting lightly, Inu-Yasha followed the scent until he came into a clearing. Kikyo stood in the center of a moon-beam, her alabaster skin glowing and her dark hair shimmering. She looked so alive except for her eyes. Her eyes were dull and glassy, reminding him that she was very much dead. "What do you want?" he demanded softly, remembering their last encounter.

Kikyo looked at him with her dead eyes. "Inu-Yasha, you don't truly love me. I know. I can see. This love that you think you feel for me is all an illusion. You love Kagome." She spat Kagome heatedly, sharpening her already sharp words. "Don't deny it. I can see how your expression softens every time you look her way. I love you too, Inu-Yasha. But I you do not receive the same love." Her voice quavered in rage and Inu-Yasha just stood there, stunned and stung.

"Kikyo...." he said softly, letting her name float. Kikyo looked at him emotionlessly and turned away from him. "Go, Inu-Yasha. Both of us know. And don't try to go after Naraku lest you want to die." A surprised look plastered itself across his visage.

Before he got a chance to ask a question or to respond Kikyo had left. He trudged half-way through the forest, still in a daze. Then his wits came back to him and he leapt from tree to tree, smelling the familiar scent of a certain miko's blood. "Kagome?" he called out softly.

Below him Kagome's figure was slumped over, her head bowed over her cupped hand.

Silently he dropped in beside her, gently turning her face to his. Her lower bottom lip was bleeding and from the looks of it she had bitten down on it. "What happened?" he asked quietly. Kagome shrugged, face blank and eyes filled with pain. Inu-Yasha bent forward and licked the blood off of her lip and kissed her hair. Kagome yanked herself away from him. "Why?" she asked. "Why do you do it?"

"Do what?" he asked, looking genuinely hurt.

"Hurt me," she breathed, choking back a sob.

"Hurt you?"

"Yes. Hurt me."

"I've never meant to hurt you, Kagome."

"I want to believe that."

"Then believe it."

"I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"I don't know, Inu-Yasha. I just feel like I can't."

Inu-Yasha pulled her into his lap, breathing in the smell of her hair. Her hair smelled like roses. He rubbed her back, singing in an under-tone. Kagome rested her head on his shoulder, one leg around his possessively. "What are you singing?" Inu-Yasha stopped and opened his eyes. Kagome felt his body stiffen as she asked her question. "It was something my mother used to sing for me," he mumbled. Kagome mouthed an 'Oh'.

Sighing heavily she detangled herself and crawled back into her sleeping bag. "I'm sorry," she murmured, hugging herself. Inu-Yasha played with a strand of her hair and then left her, comfortably perched on a branch, feeling uncomfortable with this feeling stirring within him.

What the hell am I feeling? he asked himself. He remembered words that he had heard faintly whispered to him. He wasn't even sure if it those words were true.

Pressing her forehead against the wall she thought of what she got herself into. Her shoulders trembled so hard that her copper hair fell in front of her face. She shut her eyes tightly and breathed slowly. She had gotten herself into such a deep mess that at this point there was no sane way to get out of it. Teeth clenched she sliced open her wrist only enough to make it look like a scratch from a branch. It hurt so much, though. She gasped and sucked at it, willing for the icy burning to go away.

"Shit," she gasped, her body shaking violently. Her knees knocked against the floor and her fingers trembled as she tried to grip the table and kept on falling to the floor. Once again she looked ay her wrist and saw that it wasn't a shallow cut. The cut was deep and blood was flowing like a violent river. A violet acid lined the cut and then Butterfly realized that she had released poison into it.

Without thinking she snatched up the fabric in front of her and pressed it against the wound. She prayed to Kami that she hadn't released too much into her system.

Slowly the pain began to subside and then she was able to stand up, though still tremulant. She ripped off some of the fabric and made a make-shift bandage out of it. Stifling a yawn she wrapped a blanket around herself, her eyelids dipping dangerously.

He rested his elbows on the window-sill and rubbed his temples. His snowy-silver fringe appeared in front of his eyes. Just a few mere moments ago Butterfly had appeared before him with a human arm and a Shikon jewel shard. There was no trick behind it, just a pure act of kindness. That puzzled him the most: the fact that she was being nice to him at her own free will. Sure, Rin do it too and Jaken but Rin was a child and Jaken was a bumbling and groveling servant who's a poor clingy sod.

A cool breeze wafted through the room, barely chilling his bare upper body. He gripped his forehead, seething silently at the head-ache that had over-come him suddenly. He let out a slow breath and pushed his hair out of his view.

He felt like breaking something.

Sinewy muscles moved gracefully he pulled back his arm and connected his fist with a piece of furniture. The wood cracked under the pressure and clattered noisily onto the floor. He winced at the loudness of it and pinched the bridge of his nose. This isn't my day, he thought with a mental groan.

Lazily, if not fluidly, he settled down into a chair and picked up a bottle of wine. He frowned and set it back down. For about a year now he hadn't felt like drinking at all and now he had this craving for it. Irritated, he scrubbed his face with his fingers and sighed.

Something was wrong with him, but it didn't seem to be physical. Was it possible that at one point or another he had lost his mind without knowing it?

A bitter, yet amused, laugh came from deep within him.

This had briefly tricked him into thinking that he was sane when, in fact, he didn't feel like it. Sesshou-maru, Lord of the Western Plaines, had finally lost his grip on reality. When? He wasn't sure. How?

Who knew?

With yet another sigh he stood up and walked back to his window. Something about tonight made him long to be outside, made him long to be free. But how was that so when he had more than most people or demons could?

All of these questions were beginning to make his head swim and was going to get another head-ache soon.

One last question lingered though: How come whenever he was alone with his insane self or with Butterfly he could act and feel like himself and around others he felt like someone was in control of his actions and speech? How?

He swatted the question away, treating it like an annoying fly. But like an annoying fly it kept on coming back and this one wasn't about to leave until it got its answer. That was going to be an unfortunate problem because Sesshou-maru didn't know the unfortunate answer.

Tremulant, she wrapped her arms around her legs, teeth clicking together. Tonight felt so cold even though it was only a little chilly. Something repeatedly stabbed the back of her mind, shrieking for attention. She felt like as if there was something she had to do. But what was it?

She banged her the side of her head against the ground through her sleeping bag. Leave it to Kagome to fall in love with a two-timing half-demon. She smiled a very bitter smile and winced at the pain in the bottom lip when it was stretched into a smile. She touched it gently, relieved that it had stopped bleeding and would soon recover.

With a pang of guilt she remembered earlier when she told Inu-Yasha that she couldn't believe him. What kind of person was she turning out to be? It was true that it was hard to believe Inu-Yasha, but he never had hurt her on purpose. Really, she was accusing him of something that she was doing.

You might as well dye your hair red, call yourself a ginger nob, and act like a git because you are one, a voice yelled shrilly at her. It was that little annoying voice that told you what the right thing to do was (a.k.a: Common Sense) and it had come back with a vengeance.

Groaning irritably Kagome hissed, "Inu-Yasha?" She listened intently and the fact that she didn't get a reply didn't stop her from talking. "Inu-Yasha... I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I do believe you. And if you want to ask me if it's that time of month again go right ahead." Still she got no reply and still she continued. "If you're asleep, fine. But if you're sulking you had better reply because I'm scared shitless now."

He must be asleep.

She pressed her fingers against her lips, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a cry. There was no way that she could sleep now knowing that someone, anyone, could have heard her words and sensed her tears. With a silent cry of anguish she buried her face into her hands, allowing the tears to flow freely.

She was crying. Because of him Kagome was crying. Without holding back on the pain he banged the back of his against the trunk of the trees. Quickly he began to see big and bright stars dance in and out of vision, making him feel very dizzy.

I deserve this pain. I deserve it and much more.

He briefly stopped and realized that Kagome had fallen into a fitful sleep. Silently he climbed down the tree and crouched next to her. Her pale face was tear-stricken and he could hear soft wimpers. Something in her dreams was disturbing greatly if she cringed and shed a few tears every few seconds. Lovingly he stroked her hair and placed her in his lap.

Almost automatically she calmed down, though still shivering violently. Inu-Yasha felt helpless for he could do nothing to help her. He sighed and kissed her forehead lightly and wrapped his arms around her. She felt so warm that he never could have guessed what was going inside of her mind.

The ground was soft and had a red hue to it but something was terribly wrong. It felt sticky as well. She crouched down and pressed the ground gingerly with the tips of her fingers. Her heart went apace as she looked at her fingertips and realized what she was seeing.

Blood. She was seeing blood. She was covered in blood and the smell was more than she could bear.

Without thinking she dove into a lake with her eyes closed. She opened them and could only see red. Instead of water the lake was filled with the same red hue. Propelling herself, sky bound, she broke past the surface of the blood-filled lake. Now that she looked everything was red.

She studied the dim reflection and wondered who the girl with severe wounds and no clothes were. Her over-all appearance made her look like an innocent girl; except for the eyes. The eyes were menacing and were filled with bliss at the sight of blood, like a monstrous demon.

It was her. The monstrous demon was her.

A howl like a lone wolf's escaped from her psyche, relieving her in the most oddest and desirable way. She felt free when she sang her lonely song and yet isolated from the rest of the world.

Something from deep within the lake curled themselves around her ankles and wrists and dragged her down into the dark depths.

She didn't care.

Somehow, she knew that her longing for love would never be fulfilled and it matter that she would die now because no one would miss her. Absolutely no one.

Then something else tugged at her from around the waist. It freed her from the monster in this lake and she hated him for that. He dragged her to shore despite her obvious retaliation. Couldn't he see that she wanted to die? That she wanted to end her life so she wouldn't have to suffer?

On the bank it wasn't bloody. She looked up and the sky was black velvet with shimmering dew strewn across it. She sat up and looked at her savior. Who are you? she asked, feeling the numb cold and nothing else.

I am all I am, he said. I am a fallen angel.

Awww. That was nice and fluffy (sort of sadistic, though.... "sweatdrops"). I think I'm beginning to like this fic. I guess it's obvious now, isn't it? I'm a sucker for romance stories. I love watching, reading, and writing them. Maybe I should go and get a life but I'm too lazy to.

Have a fantastical day and make someone happy by reviewing their fic and by reviewing mine.

PEACE. "SMOOCH" GOOD LUCK!

nube = hell