Hello everyone, I'm back in the second installment of Freelance Phoenix,
hope you enjoy reading it and get as many laughs out of it as Andúnië did.
Please review!
(~ *~(
MSH: Freelance Phoenix Chapter 2
*~ *~*
Silence filled the hall.
Dumbledore stopped mid sentence in his conversation with Professor Flitwick, to find a strangely dressed woman glaring at his students.
It was a frightening sight. The red streaks in her, otherwise waist length blonde hair was the only color in her appearance. She was dressed entirely in black leather, from the combat boots on her feet, to the lace up gloves, to the overcoat over her otherwise simple outfit. Her hazel eyes flashed dangerously and the staff in her hand looked like it might snap under the intense grip it was being held in.
"What do I have something in between my teeth or somthin?" She snapped, glaring daggers.
First thing entering Albus Dumbledore's head after her outburst was 'scary' followed shortly by 'angry'. The woman's intimidating presence was already scaring a good deal of his students, although she wasn't a large person. The only evidence of a weapon on the toned girl, was the staff which was splattered with the occasional blood stain and unidentifiable grey, squishy mark.
The hunter stalked over to the headmaster, taking a deep breath in what appeared to be an effort to calm herself and offered her hand.
"The names Karmah, I'm the, uh, I suppose freelancer of the Mary Sue hunters. I take it you have a problem here based upon the fact the junior ran screaming from here a couple of minutes ago."
The aged headmaster rose and shook her hand, looking bewildered.
"Albus Dumbledore, it's a pleasure. But, Miss Karmah, I must confess, I have no clue what you are talking about."
Karmah recoiled like Dumbledore had slapped her across the face. "What? You mean you don't know who the victims are? What a Mary Sue is? Oooh bum."
"Afraid not, Miss"
"You know nothing about why I'm here?" Karmah shook her head incredulously.
"Not a clue" the headmaster remarked, amusedly with a slight twinkle in his wisdom-filled eyes
Karmah's eyes bugged and she collapsed onto the floor. After a moment of heavy breathing, furious muttering and severe hair pulling, She collected herself and calmly requested, "May I be excused for a minute?"
The frazzled hunter walked out of the hall yanking out a strange black box as she went , that Dumbledore recognized as a mobile phone. Once outside, Karmah punched in the numbers with barely controlled hands.
"MSH headquarters, Gil here."
"Gill its Karmah, I need to talk to Angel. NOW"
Gil was slightly taken aback at the emotion in Karmah's voice. She was usually so in control and showed emotion about as often as Angel herself. In other words, never.
Karmah took a deep breath whilst she waited. Her staff was locked in a vice- like grip and was starting to shake.
"Hey Karmah, what's up?" Angel's voice was a little hesitant and, was that a little bit of fear? Nope it was guilt.
"Ok, first you call me off my once in a decade vacation to do some reconnaissance work in a fairly new realm that any newbie could have done. Admittedly when I get here I find its full scale war and im going to get absolutely not help at all on this cuz you off fighting another war in Middle Earth where you screwed up by sending in a /I. Ok that I can handle at a stretch, but heres the clincher. They have no clue what's going on! The realm is totally oblivious to the whole thing!!" By the end of her triad, Karmah had, so to speak, combusted. Her eyes had morphed to a scary lucid green color and people inside could have sworn that something exploded.
"Don't be mad-" Angel started but was cut off
"Don't be mad? Don't be MAD? Im so far past mad that mad looks warm and fuzzy. I'm ...ARGH!!" Karmah was shaking in her fury and couldn't continue. Her staff was the only thing keeping her on her feet, as her legs could no longer do it, and it was looking like giving out at any second
"I'm sorry, ok? But you can see why I called you in. We had some trouble with reports from reviewers about MS movement in Hogwarts, so we sent in that junior to do a quick investigation-" she was cut off once again.
"What was the junior doing, because he obviously wasn't fighting" Karmah momentarily regained the ability to speak.
"He was only supposed to be there one day and report back with reviews on the recent MS activity in the first place, but he never came back. We lost contact for three days, which isn't protocol for a newbie. We're short on hands, and got desperate, so we called you." Angel told the other hunter with a sigh. She was feeling almost guilty about tricking Karmah into going and not telling her the truth from the beginning. "He got captured and tortured by some stalkers for info about HQ because the Sue realized how much we have sent to Middle Earth. He says he didn't say anything, but wouldn't tell us anymore about them. He is currently in therapy." Angel smirked on this and said it eerily cheerfully, but Karmah was too pissed off to chew her out about it. "I supposed," Karmah sighed through gritted teeth, " I understand why you sent me. I don't like it, but I understand."
"You know I don't repeat myself, so I wont say the S word again, but you realize now why I had to ask you to go? No one else really could have gone."
Karmah coughed which sounded suspiciously like Aleaha.
Angel pointedly ignored Karmah's jibe. "Good luck Karms and be careful." Was that worry coming from Miss Ice Queen?
"I'm touched you care, Angel" Karmah dryly stated, "But I don't need it." She smirked, "You know how I love a challenge."
"All the same, keep me posted. You need help let me know. And the concern wasn't for you it was for the next person to walk past you."
Karmah grunted in affirmation and hit the call end button. She sighed and silently cursed her entrance before. The Sue knew she was here now. She needed some serious meditation, but she'd have to make do for now. She closed her eyes, and tried to focus all her negative energy away. She had a job to do and emotions like anger could get in the way. She squared her shoulders and flicked her hair. She eyeballed the door and marched back in.
*~ *~*
Dumbledore jumped when a hand was placed upon his shoulder, which was completely out of character for him
"We need to talk" Karmah said quietly not put out by Dumbledore's reaction.
'Merlin's beard, she can move quietly' thought Dumbledore with wide eyes. No one in the hall had noticed her re-entrance.
"Talk away" He instructed.
"Not here. The castle has ears." Karmah whispered cryptically, placing a stray strand of hair behind her ears.
"Ahhh" Dumbledore said, comprehending but a little confused about the whole situation. "I will meet you at my office in a little while, it's just out the west door and down the hall, until you get to the gargoyle. The password is 'bubblicious'. My newest favorite muggle treat.
Karmah nodded and disappeared into the shadowed. Dumbledore tried to follow her but in the second it took him to answer a question Sprout asked, she was gone.
Or almost
Just before the door, Karmah tripped over some unknown object and fell flat on her face.
She looked up sheepishly and sighed with relief when she notice no one (or almost) her fall. She slunk out of the hall without further incident, leaving a pair of blue eyes to laugh merrily.
*~*~*
Karmah emerged into the hallway from the shadows relaxing ever so slightly, but quickly going back to max focus when she looked around.
"Quiet, too quiet" she mumbled, eyes darting each way as she moved slowly through the sinisterly quiet hallway
'OMG, I have just used the most clichéd line from movie history. Next thing you know, I'll be strutting about saying 'I'll be back' in a corny Austrian accent! How could you. You. Do Not. Use. Clichés. You are more creative than that.' Karmah continued to berate herself about her horrendous slip, whacking her head against her hand with every word. When..
She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide and mouth agape.
A hand had just pinched her rear.
*~ *~*
Draco poked his head out of the entrance to the Slytherin common room and carefully, with slight apprehension, looked each way.
Now don't get it wrong, Draco loves the attention he receives from his fan club but lately there seemed to be, well, stalkers following him and swamping him making him late for all his classes which was fine for Potions but Transfiguration was a whole different story. It wasn't like McGonagall liked him or anything.
The blonde Slytherin sighed when he saw the coast was clear. His stomach growled. 'Easy my friend,' he thought 'soon'
He strolled down the corridor and turned the corner.
The sight in front of him was nothing short of hilarious if it weren't for the lady in the center, who was looking slightly crazed and had a very dangerous glint in her eyes.
The hallway was totalled. The angel statue usually standing on the right was missing a leg, had barely half of one wing left, while the other was on the floor in little pieces, and its head was held in its remaining hand. There were bits of armour scattered between the statue pieces and ribbons of tapestry were floating around in the area. The one painting that was unfortunate enough to be placed in this corridor appeared to be pinned up in its frame by bobby pins and the walls had considerable holes beaten into the stone randomly..
Draco surveyed ground zero with curiosity. "Umm, What happened?" he queried.
Karmah looked at him with narrowed eyes. "That Bloody THING! " she snarled, kicking the nearby head of the armory out the dingy window. "It GROPED me!"
Draco quirked and eyebrow and smirked at the freelancer. He looked about to give her the once over but she quipped, " You do and ill castrate you."
He glanced sharply at her face and her eyes were boring a hole into his own, showing she have every intention of doing as she said. She growled and the Slytherin Prince winced.
She rolled her eyes 'Threaten Lil' Johnnie down there and all men are as tame as kitty cats.' She thought sardonically as she stormed away down what was left of the hallway.
(~ *~(
Until next time folks (hopefully by the end of the month)
Nimloth *The white blossom*
(~ *~(
MSH: Freelance Phoenix Chapter 2
*~ *~*
Silence filled the hall.
Dumbledore stopped mid sentence in his conversation with Professor Flitwick, to find a strangely dressed woman glaring at his students.
It was a frightening sight. The red streaks in her, otherwise waist length blonde hair was the only color in her appearance. She was dressed entirely in black leather, from the combat boots on her feet, to the lace up gloves, to the overcoat over her otherwise simple outfit. Her hazel eyes flashed dangerously and the staff in her hand looked like it might snap under the intense grip it was being held in.
"What do I have something in between my teeth or somthin?" She snapped, glaring daggers.
First thing entering Albus Dumbledore's head after her outburst was 'scary' followed shortly by 'angry'. The woman's intimidating presence was already scaring a good deal of his students, although she wasn't a large person. The only evidence of a weapon on the toned girl, was the staff which was splattered with the occasional blood stain and unidentifiable grey, squishy mark.
The hunter stalked over to the headmaster, taking a deep breath in what appeared to be an effort to calm herself and offered her hand.
"The names Karmah, I'm the, uh, I suppose freelancer of the Mary Sue hunters. I take it you have a problem here based upon the fact the junior ran screaming from here a couple of minutes ago."
The aged headmaster rose and shook her hand, looking bewildered.
"Albus Dumbledore, it's a pleasure. But, Miss Karmah, I must confess, I have no clue what you are talking about."
Karmah recoiled like Dumbledore had slapped her across the face. "What? You mean you don't know who the victims are? What a Mary Sue is? Oooh bum."
"Afraid not, Miss"
"You know nothing about why I'm here?" Karmah shook her head incredulously.
"Not a clue" the headmaster remarked, amusedly with a slight twinkle in his wisdom-filled eyes
Karmah's eyes bugged and she collapsed onto the floor. After a moment of heavy breathing, furious muttering and severe hair pulling, She collected herself and calmly requested, "May I be excused for a minute?"
The frazzled hunter walked out of the hall yanking out a strange black box as she went , that Dumbledore recognized as a mobile phone. Once outside, Karmah punched in the numbers with barely controlled hands.
"MSH headquarters, Gil here."
"Gill its Karmah, I need to talk to Angel. NOW"
Gil was slightly taken aback at the emotion in Karmah's voice. She was usually so in control and showed emotion about as often as Angel herself. In other words, never.
Karmah took a deep breath whilst she waited. Her staff was locked in a vice- like grip and was starting to shake.
"Hey Karmah, what's up?" Angel's voice was a little hesitant and, was that a little bit of fear? Nope it was guilt.
"Ok, first you call me off my once in a decade vacation to do some reconnaissance work in a fairly new realm that any newbie could have done. Admittedly when I get here I find its full scale war and im going to get absolutely not help at all on this cuz you off fighting another war in Middle Earth where you screwed up by sending in a /I. Ok that I can handle at a stretch, but heres the clincher. They have no clue what's going on! The realm is totally oblivious to the whole thing!!" By the end of her triad, Karmah had, so to speak, combusted. Her eyes had morphed to a scary lucid green color and people inside could have sworn that something exploded.
"Don't be mad-" Angel started but was cut off
"Don't be mad? Don't be MAD? Im so far past mad that mad looks warm and fuzzy. I'm ...ARGH!!" Karmah was shaking in her fury and couldn't continue. Her staff was the only thing keeping her on her feet, as her legs could no longer do it, and it was looking like giving out at any second
"I'm sorry, ok? But you can see why I called you in. We had some trouble with reports from reviewers about MS movement in Hogwarts, so we sent in that junior to do a quick investigation-" she was cut off once again.
"What was the junior doing, because he obviously wasn't fighting" Karmah momentarily regained the ability to speak.
"He was only supposed to be there one day and report back with reviews on the recent MS activity in the first place, but he never came back. We lost contact for three days, which isn't protocol for a newbie. We're short on hands, and got desperate, so we called you." Angel told the other hunter with a sigh. She was feeling almost guilty about tricking Karmah into going and not telling her the truth from the beginning. "He got captured and tortured by some stalkers for info about HQ because the Sue realized how much we have sent to Middle Earth. He says he didn't say anything, but wouldn't tell us anymore about them. He is currently in therapy." Angel smirked on this and said it eerily cheerfully, but Karmah was too pissed off to chew her out about it. "I supposed," Karmah sighed through gritted teeth, " I understand why you sent me. I don't like it, but I understand."
"You know I don't repeat myself, so I wont say the S word again, but you realize now why I had to ask you to go? No one else really could have gone."
Karmah coughed which sounded suspiciously like Aleaha.
Angel pointedly ignored Karmah's jibe. "Good luck Karms and be careful." Was that worry coming from Miss Ice Queen?
"I'm touched you care, Angel" Karmah dryly stated, "But I don't need it." She smirked, "You know how I love a challenge."
"All the same, keep me posted. You need help let me know. And the concern wasn't for you it was for the next person to walk past you."
Karmah grunted in affirmation and hit the call end button. She sighed and silently cursed her entrance before. The Sue knew she was here now. She needed some serious meditation, but she'd have to make do for now. She closed her eyes, and tried to focus all her negative energy away. She had a job to do and emotions like anger could get in the way. She squared her shoulders and flicked her hair. She eyeballed the door and marched back in.
*~ *~*
Dumbledore jumped when a hand was placed upon his shoulder, which was completely out of character for him
"We need to talk" Karmah said quietly not put out by Dumbledore's reaction.
'Merlin's beard, she can move quietly' thought Dumbledore with wide eyes. No one in the hall had noticed her re-entrance.
"Talk away" He instructed.
"Not here. The castle has ears." Karmah whispered cryptically, placing a stray strand of hair behind her ears.
"Ahhh" Dumbledore said, comprehending but a little confused about the whole situation. "I will meet you at my office in a little while, it's just out the west door and down the hall, until you get to the gargoyle. The password is 'bubblicious'. My newest favorite muggle treat.
Karmah nodded and disappeared into the shadowed. Dumbledore tried to follow her but in the second it took him to answer a question Sprout asked, she was gone.
Or almost
Just before the door, Karmah tripped over some unknown object and fell flat on her face.
She looked up sheepishly and sighed with relief when she notice no one (or almost) her fall. She slunk out of the hall without further incident, leaving a pair of blue eyes to laugh merrily.
*~*~*
Karmah emerged into the hallway from the shadows relaxing ever so slightly, but quickly going back to max focus when she looked around.
"Quiet, too quiet" she mumbled, eyes darting each way as she moved slowly through the sinisterly quiet hallway
'OMG, I have just used the most clichéd line from movie history. Next thing you know, I'll be strutting about saying 'I'll be back' in a corny Austrian accent! How could you. You. Do Not. Use. Clichés. You are more creative than that.' Karmah continued to berate herself about her horrendous slip, whacking her head against her hand with every word. When..
She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide and mouth agape.
A hand had just pinched her rear.
*~ *~*
Draco poked his head out of the entrance to the Slytherin common room and carefully, with slight apprehension, looked each way.
Now don't get it wrong, Draco loves the attention he receives from his fan club but lately there seemed to be, well, stalkers following him and swamping him making him late for all his classes which was fine for Potions but Transfiguration was a whole different story. It wasn't like McGonagall liked him or anything.
The blonde Slytherin sighed when he saw the coast was clear. His stomach growled. 'Easy my friend,' he thought 'soon'
He strolled down the corridor and turned the corner.
The sight in front of him was nothing short of hilarious if it weren't for the lady in the center, who was looking slightly crazed and had a very dangerous glint in her eyes.
The hallway was totalled. The angel statue usually standing on the right was missing a leg, had barely half of one wing left, while the other was on the floor in little pieces, and its head was held in its remaining hand. There were bits of armour scattered between the statue pieces and ribbons of tapestry were floating around in the area. The one painting that was unfortunate enough to be placed in this corridor appeared to be pinned up in its frame by bobby pins and the walls had considerable holes beaten into the stone randomly..
Draco surveyed ground zero with curiosity. "Umm, What happened?" he queried.
Karmah looked at him with narrowed eyes. "That Bloody THING! " she snarled, kicking the nearby head of the armory out the dingy window. "It GROPED me!"
Draco quirked and eyebrow and smirked at the freelancer. He looked about to give her the once over but she quipped, " You do and ill castrate you."
He glanced sharply at her face and her eyes were boring a hole into his own, showing she have every intention of doing as she said. She growled and the Slytherin Prince winced.
She rolled her eyes 'Threaten Lil' Johnnie down there and all men are as tame as kitty cats.' She thought sardonically as she stormed away down what was left of the hallway.
(~ *~(
Until next time folks (hopefully by the end of the month)
Nimloth *The white blossom*