Part One, Chapter Four:

The clock began to ring, marking the new hour. She looked up from the floor plan she was studying and stopped. She thought, What day is it? When she looked at her watch, her eyes filled with tears. It was her daughter's birthday. As the tears began to cloud her eyes, she rushed over to her bag and searched through it, tossing out random books and papers and clothing. Finally, she stopped, and triumphantly pulled out a yellowed and tattered envelope that was marked, in the handwriting of a small child. She carefully drew out the pages, and sat down on her bed to read them as she did every year on this day.

Dear Mommy,

I miss you Mommy. I don't like it without you. Daddy's sad all the time now. He cries when he thinks I don't see him. I don't like Daddy crying. He's not allowed to cry.

I want you to come back now Mommy. I know you're in heaven with God and you're an angel. But Mommy, God doesn't need you. I need you. Tell God that you have to go back to your Sweetie. If he doesn't let you come, he's mean and I hate him. I hate him. He took my Mommy. You're not his Mommy, you're my Mommy. And I want my Mommy.

Daddy went on a trip yesterday. These men came and took him from me too. I didn't want him to leave me too. I held on to him really hard, but they made me let go. I didn't want to let go Mommy. I'm sorry I let them take him. I know you told me to take care of him. I'm sorry Mommy. I'm sorry.

Mily is writing this for me. I say what to write and she does it. Aunt Mily is watching me now. I ran away yesterday. Daddy was gone and Mommy, you're in heaven. I ran to where they put you. They put a stone that says Laura there. I brought my blankie and my teddy and some food and some pictures and some clothes and my piggy bank. I stole Daddy's other briefcase Mommy. I'm sorry I took it. But when Daddy goes away he takes his briefcase. So I took it. Then at that place, I put my pictures out for you. I drew them for you. It's us. I drew Daddy and you and me and we were at home and we're happy. I know you like my pictures. I was going to live with you Mommy. If you come back, I thought you'd come back there. So I was going to wait for you. I had some food. I had my teddy and my blankie. I had my pennies. But the lady across the street, Mrs. Poofy-head, she was supposed to watch me when I ran away, and she sent some policemen to find me. Now I'm with Aunt Mily. Aunt Mily's really nice. I like it better than Mrs. Poofy-head. Uncle Ar is angry that Daddy is away. I heard him yelling at the phone. He said His wife is dead and then he said a bad word that you told me not to say so I won't, but he said that Daddy should be allowed to come home now. I like Aunt Mily and Uncle Ar but I like my Mommy and Daddy better. Come back soon Mommy. Aunt Mily said to pray. I pray every night for God to give me my Mommy back. If I pray hard enough, he'll have to let you come back.

I love you Mommy.

Love,

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Sydney

She smiled sadly, and sat the letter on the night stand next to her. She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth, tears freely streaming down her face. Her little girl was one year older, and she wasn't there. Another year she wasn't with her family. With her husband. Turning out the light, she gave up on doing any further work, and allowed herself to sit in total darkness, crying herself to sleep.