Title: Interfering With Salvation part 2
Author: Aydin SK
Rating: R (language)
Characters: Spike/Buffy. All Scoobies appear.
Summary: Buffy get's sued by a vamp. Spike volunteers to be her lawyer, which he becomes.
Timeline: Set during season 6.
Chapters: 2 of 2
Date: January 7, 2004.
Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss.
Interfering With Salvation part 2
Judge Mulroney looked at the prosecutor, "Mr. Logan, call your first witness."
"I call Mr. Cole to the stand," the prosecutor announced as he rose.
Buffy leaned over to Spike and whispered, "Mr. Cole?"
Spike kept silent and pointed at the young and pallid man who rose. It was Dustin, the suing vampire. Dustin took the stand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him.. God?
Buffy laughed at hearing that, "Oh, that's such a load of crap."
"Mr. Galloway, control your client," the Judge insisted.
"Yes, Your 'onor. Sorry, Your 'onor," with that Spike slapped the back of his Slayer's head as he kept a straight face at the judge.
"Yes, well, let's get on with it. Mr. Logan, please continue."
The prosecutor gave the judge an appreciative nod and faced the Vampire with his first question: "Mr. Cole, four nights ago, were you not violently assaulted by a certain individual?"
"Yes, I was."
"And did this individual attempted to murder you?"
"Objection, Your 'onor!" Spike protested. "Mr. Fancy Lawyer's puttin' bloody words in 'is client's mouth!"
Judge Mulroney nodded assent, "Sustained."
Impressed Xander looked at Spike and raised his eyebrows, "He's not bad. Not bad at all," he observed. "I wouldn't be too optimistic, Xander, he's probably got that from the tube," Giles whispered. "Well, I don't know Giles, the last few days he made merry with preparation. I think Spike's got a plan."
Giles put on a modest smile, "Perhaps. But it's not a given that he will convince the members of the jury. Personally I think he's going to screw up."
"What did this person do to you?" Mr. Logan rephrased his question.
"She tried to whack me with some wooden stake," Dustin answered and pretended to seem very traumatised.
"Mr. Cole, is this individual present in this courtroom today?"
"Yes, she's sitting right there, next to the bleached bum," he replied and pointed at Buffy.
"I bloody well object to that!" offended Spike rose to his feet, "Your 'onor, handle it, will you."
The judge frowned and faced Spike irefully, "Mr. Galloway, you expect to be treated with respect, isn't that so?"
"Yes, Your 'onor,"
"And all the while your client has shown none for me nor this courtroom," judge Mulroney stipulated.
"I postulate so, Your 'onor."
"From the beginning of this case your behaviour was quite exemplary, apart from your garments. Alas your demand to 'handle it' was most irreverent, wouldn't you agree?"
"Retrospectively, I see no reason to disagree, Your 'onor."
"Then what do you want from me, sir William Galloway?"
Spike cleared his throat and scratched his head, "To grant me the objection towards Mr. Cole's offensive remark. I won't dispute the fact that my request seemed inapt, Your 'onor, but may I point out that Mr. Cole here took absolutely no responsibility for 'is phrase. To deny my protest 'cause of dislikin' my client would be bias. And is that, Your 'onor, a tribunal thing to do?"
Judge Mulroney saw where Spike was coming from and gave into it, "Very well, objection sustained. Mr. Cole, watch your mouth and Mr. Logan, see to it that your client does. You may proceed."
"Actually Your Honor, I have no further questions," the prosecutor concluded and went back to his seat.
"Mr. Galloway, your witness," the judge addressed Spike who stood up and approached the Vampire.
"So, Dustin Cole, is it?" Spike said blatantly, which Dustin confirmed with "Yes."
"How was breakfast?" Spike asked with a grin, "Pulsating and warm?"
Dustin didn't answer, and looked at his lawyer. "No, don't eye at hotshot lawyer, answer the question."
"I ate an apple and a banana, how's that?" Dustin finally answered.
"Hm," Spike started. "And you didn't drink anything?"
"No."
"Odd. You appear to be a little pale and nervous. Don't you crave for a ravishin' neck, throbbin' and full of life? It's everything you're not, makes you whole," intense Spike studied Dustin who shifted uncomfortable on his seat, clearly showing signs of appetite that hopefully the jury would perceive as well. Spike smiled gratified and continued.
"Look at all the goodies in this room, in particular your lawyer's well-shaped assistant. That long neck with fine lines of her veins. Don't you just want to sink your..-"
"Objection! What's the meaning of this?" Logan complained.
"Your 'onor, how 'bout I approach the bench?" Spike requested. The judge agreed and Spike walked over and spoke feeble, "I'm trying to establish the truth, that my la..- client is not the wrongful party. I can see that what I'm doin' now may sound like poppycock, but I will prove my point, sir."
Judge Mulroney nodded in an approving fashion and let Spike continue his interrogation.
"So, back to the neck. Feelin' peckish?"
Dustin looked up, and made a disoriented impression, "Ehm, sorry. What..?"
"The neck, lethargic blood sponge," Spike tried to provoke the thirsty Dustin which urged judge Mulroney into giving Spike a criticizing look. In return Spike ogled at the judge who suddenly gave a loud order, "Sit down, Mr. Logan!"
"But Your Honor, he's badgering my client! I seriously object!" the prosecutor insisted. "Sit down Mr. Logan and I won't say it again." David Logan complied and kept quiet.
Mean while Spike kept an eye on Dustin, who obviously had trouble restraining himself. But for the moment Spike ran out of clever provocative statements. "I have nothing further, Your 'onor, but I reserve the right to call this sod later on."
"You may step down," the judge told Dustin.
Xander turned to Giles again and whispered, "What say you, Watcher man? I think Spike just proved the exact opposite of your 'screw up' thesis. He seems to have judge Bulky on his side."
"Yes, I stand corrected, partially. I sincerely hope he realises that the jury needs conviction. Being judge's pet doesn't mean a bloody thing, Xander."
"Strangely enough I think Spike isn't as brainless as we made ourselves believe," Xander defended the vampire he usually loathes.
As if insulted Giles looked up, "Is it possible that during my absence you enrolled the Spike fanclub?"
"What? Where did this come from? Because I don't see the point in grouching? Spike was right, if we can't deliver something better, it's best to back him up or tolerate his effort at the least."
"Xander, do you honestly believe that Spike is capable of saving Buffy?"
"He did before, he kept her from dancing herself into flames while we just stood there and watched, didn't he?" With that Xander put a sock in Giles' mouth, who started to clean his glasses.
In the mean while the prosecutor had called Buffy to the stand, Giles and Xander didn't even notice her standing up.
"Miss Summers, do you do this often, attack people with a sharpened stick?" Mr. Logan asked her.
"Yep," she answered as if she was bored to death. "How's your nose?"
"Fine, thank you. But lets talk about your misconduct. Why exactly did you strike Mr. Cole?"
"Because he's a vampire. The bloodsucking kind."
"Why do you think Dustin Cole is a vampire?"
"It's not a question of thinking he is, I know he is. Just like you will when you find out that all this is just a game to him and so are you."
"Vampires are a myth, Miss Summers."
Buffy chuckled, "This is Sunnydale, mister, the Extraterrestrial Inn. There is no possible way that the majority of this town has never been exposed to mystical forces. I was making a difference until you intervened."
"Well," Logan said as he looked up at the judge. "I think I know enough, Your Honor."
Buffy made an overbearing sound, "I really don't think you do, mr. Logan. If that was the case, I wouldn't be sitting here."
"Nothing but rigmarole."
"You're not from around here, are you?"
David Logan looked away from Buffy and faced the judge, "I'm through, Your Honor."
The attorney turned around and walked back to his table and sat down next to his client. The judge looked at Spike, "Mr. Galloway? Do you have any questions for this witness?"
"I bloody well do, Your 'onor," he answered and approached his lover. "Buffy Summers, Vampire slayer, Chosen One. Would you fancy tellin' the court what I am?"
"What?!" she reprimanded.
"Should I repeat the question? Would you fancy..-"
"All right. You're a vampire," Buffy vented. Appalled Spike looked up, "Not that, you silly moo!"
In the back Giles turned to Xander and resumed to prove his point caustically and whispering, "Oh dear, I hope this doesn't crumble the pedestal you set asside for good old Spike."
"Would you stop."
"Well, all right," Spike's voice sounded. "So, let's have a little chat on distinguishin' vampire marks." Buffy shrugged lightly, "Okay."
"Well, what would those be?"
"They usually look normal, physically. Well, except for the pale skin. But when they vamp, they have a lumpy forehead, fierce eyes and fangs. They're highly sensitive to daylight, stake through the heart and decapitation," Buffy summarised, almost yawned it.
"For instance, a vampire has to set foot outside, in broad daylight. How do you reckon they would do that?"
"Well, covered under a blanket or some other form of sun-proof veil I suppose. Once, there was this vampire, running across the street. He had pulled is trench-coat over his head. And if you think that's the weird part, wait 'till you hear the fizzling sound and..-" she explained until she got interrupted by a ruffled look from Spike. "So, you're sayin', if a vampire wishes to stay alive, any and all daylight would have to be shut out?" "Yes."
"But what 'appens if it does get exposed to sunbeams?"
"It combusts into ashes."
"And stakin' or beheadin' a vampire would have the same result, does that paint an accurate picture?"
"Yes, it does."
"Thank you, Miss Summers," Spike winked at the Slayer and looked at the judge. "Nothing further, Your 'onor."
The judge told Buffy to step down and Spike pointed out that he wanted to talk to Dustin once more, who was ordered to take the stand for the second time.
" 'Ello again, Dusty," Spike began delighted. "How ya doin', mate?"
"Go to hell," Dustin snapped at his fellow vampire.
Spike shook his head, "Let's not. See, instinctively I can feel what you are. Actually, I don't sense you at all."
After that Spike turned around to face the members of the jury, "The thing is, vampires have the unique quality to intuitively be aware of humans, because they have something that vampires don't: pulsation. For that same reason vampires know when they're dealin' with one of their own." Spike paused for a minute. A musing expression portrayed his face.
"Now, gentlefolk, I am gonna tell you a bit about myself, consider it as a relevant demonstration. But the foremost thing is: don't be aghast."
Spike took a few steps towards the jurors and leaned forward a little, "I'm a vampire." One by one he looked at their faces, some seemed puzzled but most chortled.
"I'll assume you don't regard this as true then. Didn't think you would. But, don't be glum, I've got the evidence right 'ere. Keep your eyes on my muzzle. Here we go," and with that Spike changed into his vampire self. The amused expressions of the jury got replaced by a flabbergasted one. "That's right. I'm a 130 year old bloodsucker," he grinned.
"But don't fret yourselves, I can't lay a bleedin' finger on you. And I'll tell you why. Soldiers thought it'd be funny to cram a behaviour modification chip in my skull, causin' one hell of a headache at every attempt of hurtin' a human. But him," he shouted as he pointed at Dustin, "He never had 'is chip! Dustin Cole is a vampire, jus' like me. The only difference is that he does form a threat."
In all his anger Spike forgot to turn back to his human shape, but when he looked at Buffy he suddenly got reminded, much to the relief of the scared jury. "And then there's her, Buffy Summers, the Slayer. Chosen to protect this miserable town, along with all of you."
Scrutinised he looked at the jury, the judge, the prosecutor and lastly he peered at Dustin. "I hate to remind you, actually I don't, but you must be famished by now. Sittin' in a room filled with pulsatin' necks for a couple of hours straight. Must be crucifixingly hard, I'd wager."
"I know what you're trying to do," Dustin said.
As if surprised Spike cocked his head, "Oh, do you now?"
"You're trying to work me up, hoping I jump one of them to prove your point."
Innocently Spike shook his head, "No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are, man."
"Not a soddin' clue what you're goin' on about," Spike kept denying with a faked dumbfounded expression.
"What the hell is he doing? Mocking about?!" Giles observed dismayed. "Didn't I say he was going to conk out? Well, not that he ever really excelled, but..-"
"Giles, with all do respect for the elderly, but shut up."
"I.. I agree. I'm sorry Mr. Giles," Tara supported Xander. "But all that negative energy you're sending out, could reach Spike and maybe even throw him off."
"Yeah," Willow piped in. "You have no idea how powerful those forces can get. What if it manifests, Spike could loose the case. And then we all know who our pointing fingers should be aiming at. Really, Giles, you shouldn't mess with that kind of.. conjuration."
Indignant Giles looked up while taking his glasses off, "Conjuration? Is that a new euphemism for being pessimistic I haven't heard about?"
Dawn listened to all the bickering until she got fed up with it and stood up to sit down three rows behind the group. Now, fully ridded of their quarrel she focused on the arguement that went on between Spike and Dustin.
"You're completely off your mark, Dusty cloth."
"Just admit it. You don't have a case, no proof, and now you're trying to save face."
Spike started to laugh, "So, you're sayin', there's proof to be collected?"
"It's not gonna work, asshole!"
Spike raised his eyebrows, "Beg pardon?"
"You're trying to trick me!"
"Meaning there is something to trick you into?"
"Fuck you, blondy."
Spike turned around to the clerk of the court, "Let the record show: Dustin Cole is gettin' overly defensive durin' questionin'."
When Spike turned around he unexpectedly lashed out at Dustin, forcefully he punched him in the face. Then he made an apology to the judge, "Sorry, Your 'onor, ran out of frolics."
Immediately after, Dustin vamped and jumped off the stand to land right in front of Spike. Judge Mulroney, the jury and Mr. Logan gasped at what they saw, paralysed with fear they didn't move a muscle but glared at Spike and Dustin.
"Well, well, well. Hello," Spike remarked smugly. "Looks like I just got myself a case. So, tell me, was it stronger than yourself?"
Although the face of a vampire is a contemptuous one by nature, Spike could see traces of additional contempt when Dustin observed him from head to toe.
"Slayer's ally," Dusten snarled. "Should've known it was you, Spike. I heard about you, man."
"I'm flattered, Super dust's heard 'bout me. Do I get a plum?"
"You've grown weak. You were a brilliant and admirable fighter, snuffed two Slayers. But then you got that implant, it's pathetic! And now look what's become of you, sharing the bed with the arch nemesis, the Slayer."
Spike's grin got bigger with every sentence that came out of Dustin's mouth, "You're not the most original, are you?"
Suddenly Dustin swiftly climbed up the bench, with the plan to take a bite out of judge Mulroney. Luckily Spike took the time to firmly grab the collar of Dustin's sweater. But he couldn't resist to criticise Dustin's choice of food, "That's your first choice?! I would've gone for someone more.. well, for someone younger."
Vigorously Spike pulled him away from the judge but in the process Dustin's sweater slipped out of his grip, causing Dustin to land on the floor in front of the jury. Spike sprinted to the vampire just as hastily as Dustin got up to grab an attractive young woman by her hair.
"Backwards wanker!" Spike shouted while he plucked him off and threw him on the floor. "Remind me not to suggest anythin'," Spike then told himself and stormed at Dustin.
But Dustin was faster and mounted the judge's bench again and kicked Spike in the face. Spike landed with his back and a nosebleed on the floor. With disbelief he stared at Dustin. "Bloody hell, the judge again?! Will you make up your mind!" he bellowed and got up.
"Do something, Mr. Galloway! Help me!" judge Mulroney shouted petrified.
"It's out of my hands now, sir," Spike sighed and pulled himself onto the bench as well. He punched Dustin on the nose whereafter Spike lightly kept Dustin from sinking his teeth in the judge.
"My entire case was based on provin' that Buffy was only doin' her job, for which she got sued, resulting in this uncomfortable situation. So," briefly Spike looked at Buffy. "So, I speculate she'd have to demonstrate, in case the jury still itches for erm, conviction.."
Once more he looked at the Slayer, more intense and annoyed this time, "Sure, don't strain yourself, woman." As if she had forgotten her duty, Buffy suddenly leaped from her chair and rushed at the judge who feared for his life, afraid that he was going to die, here, in his courtroom.
With a back flip she jumped on the bench and adeptly drove a stake through Dustin's chest when Spike held him straight.
Order was back in the court, and everyone had sat down again. Relieved that it was over.
"So, case dismissed then? Your 'onor? Jury?" Spike looked around. "Or are y'all waitin' for my closin' argument?"
Befuddled and covered with the dusty remains of Dustin the judge looked up, "I find the defendant not guilty, I don't give a damn about the jury's verdict. I just need to go home and have a good cry," judge Mulroney announced and hammered on the wooden bench. "Case dismissed."
3:16 p.m., back at the Summers residence. "How about that, Giles?" Xander teased the Watcher. "Oh, stuff it."
"Kudos, man!" Xander congratulated Spike as he walked over to him and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Not saying I love you, but I'll get there if I keep an open mind!"
Everybody in the room made a face, shortly after Xander did too, "Please forget that I ever said that."
"Already there," Spike said slightly in disgust while he removed himself from under Xander's hand.
"Waste of my bloody time," Spike muttered and settled on the sofa. "That's what it was. Really, why did I even bother?"
"You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, Spike," Willow tried to console him. "You can't protect people from the forces of nature."
"No, that's not it, red. I just don't see why I even bothered to put my energy into it. If I'd known that the judge was gonna kick the bucket eitherway I never would've strained myself to keep Dusty off of him."
Anya nodded her head, "Yeah, it was kinda sad though, how the judge spasmed, trying to grasp his little ticker. Such a shame that he had to die after the danger was gone," she sighed. "Well, let's booze it up!"
The gang gave her a funny look.
"To celebrate! We won! Or have you forgotten?" Anya prodded.
"Well, I'm for it. I prefer a pint rather than mournin' over late judge Mulroney." For a moment Spike and Anya glared hopeful at the grievous faces of the scoobies.
"Well, I suppose relaxation would be in order," Buffy shrugged eventually and grinned hesitantly.
Willow agreed, "Yeah, and we could toast on Spike and Buffy's victory!"
"Great! Except I'll just be drinking beer. I already did my part in love declarations," Xander jested.
Tara smiled, "I thought we were supposed to forget that."
And Dawn figured she'd probably get a stupid stamp on her hand anyway, so she kept quiet.
"Wonderful, let's get wasted then," Giles added while he was the last to leave the house and shut the door.