DONT GO

Oh what now?!!! Sydney let out a moan before slowly rolling over in bed and flicking on the lamp. As the light came on she reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the phone.

-He-ello? She groaned rubbing her eyes.
-Syd, it's me you have to get down to the hospital!
-Wha..Weiss? What's going on? She asked sitting up in bed.
-Syd...He paused for a second.
-Weiss? She demanded clenching on to the phone.
-Syd, its Vaughn. He continued. Look I don't have time to explain, just get down here.
-Whe..where are you!! She asked before stumbling of the bed and running to the wardrobe.
-We're down at the Naval Hospital Base, get down here!! He added and with that hung up.

Sydney dropped the phone and reached into the wardrobe, grabbing a white jumper and her car keys she ran out of the bedroom, across the dark lounge room and out into the cold. She raced into the hospital car park and parked near the hospital entrance. She slowly turned of the engine, took a deep breath and reached for the door handle before stepping out of the car. She quickly made her way across the open car park, clutching on to her car keys she looked up at the sky and muttered. Please let him be okay before entering the building. It was not long before she spotted Weiss over at the reception desk, standing with his back turned to her and talking to a doctor. She quickly scanned the waiting room before spotting Dixon with his children. They were sitting on opposite sides of him with their hands resting on his shoulders. Sydney quickly looked back at Weiss and realized he was now coming towards her.
-Sydney! He yelled out.
-Weiss!! What's going on, where's Vaughn?

She asked alarmingly as they walked up to one another. Weiss lost eye contact with her and looked down at the ground before looking up again. Sydney looked into his eyes and realized there was something seriously wrong.

-Is he ok? She asked quietly trying to swallow back the tears forming in her throat.
-I stopped by his place earlier tonight and ahh... someone's broken into his place or something and attacked him before shooting him in the back and arm. He replied before running his hands through his messy hair and slightly stepping away from Sydney.

She stood still for a moment staring at Weiss as he started back at her with tears forming in his eyes. She closed her eyes and placed her hand on her eyes wiping away the tears that were rolling down her face now. She put her hand down and looked back at Weiss before collapsing into his arms. She started sobbing quietly as he wrapped his arms around her.

-Is it really bad? She asked quietly.
-Yeah it's pretty bad. He replied before letting go of her.
-Can I go see him? She asked wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper.
-Nah no yet, they're not saying much either nothing we can do.

They moved away from the reception and walked over to where Dixon was sitting with his children. He slowly got up and walked over to Sydney before giving her a quick hug than sitting back down with her next to him.

-Thanks for coming. She said clutching on to his hand.
-No need to thank me. He replied.
-You should have stayed home with the kids, we would have rung you if anything changed.
-It was on the way we were going home from a family gathering anyway. He said before putting his arm around his daughter who was sitting on the other side of him.

Sydney glanced at his daughter and son giving them a small smile before turned back around to where Weiss was standing. He was pacing up and down the room, with his hand in his pocket staring at the floor. Sydney called out his name twice and had to raise her voice the third time to distract him. He lifted his head up and looked at her with a startled look on his face.

-Sorry. He apologized shaking his head as she got up and walked over to him.
-Who the hell would do this? Why come after Vaughn? She asked clenching her jaw.
-I don't know, but he put up a hell of a fight. His place was turned up side down.
-How bad....how bad are his injuries? She asked again.
-Bad, very bad. Internal Bleeding, a shot to the right leg, just above the knee. He paused for a second and noticed Sydney was crying again. He wiped his eyes to before continuing again. The blow to the back has screwed him up pretty badly. He might not be able to walk again. He stated quietly as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Sydney stood still for a moment, trying to process what she was hearing. He might no be able to walk again. The sentence seemed to be repeating its self over and over again in her head. She looked up at Weiss than down at her feet before looking up at him again, he stood across from her, staring at her blankly not saying a word. It seemed ages before Weiss snapped out of the silence and put his hand on Sydneys shoulder.

-Do you want a coffee? He asked quietly.
-No, no thanks. She responded. I might just sit down.

It would be another hour before they received news on Vaughns condition. Dixon had left earlier on in the night which only left Sydney and Weiss to sit by and wait for any news. Weiss spent half his time pacing up and down the corridors, with his hands behind his back and staring at his feet. Sydney spent twenty minutes sitting out in the hospital car park trying to gather her thoughts and make sense of what was happening.

-Syd? Syd...you can go see him now! Weiss yelled out as he ran out into the car park.
-Wha...whats going on?! She asked getting up.
-He's not awake yet but he's stable come on!

Sydney slowly entered room 216 before quietly closing the door behind her. The sound of the machines and different apparatuses echoed in the dark room as did Vaughns heavy breathing. She slowly turned around and placed her hand over her mouth at the sight of Vaughn. There were all sorts of wires and bandages on his body. His right hand was bandaged up as well as his forehead. She slowly moved towards his bed before grabbing a seat and sitting down next to him.
-Hey. She said quietly as a tear rolled down her face. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I was in bed when Weiss rang and told me what happened. She gently placed her hand over his and slightly squeezed it. It felt warm against her cold palm. Vaughn, please don't to this to me, you have....She paused for a second and quickly wiped her eyes. Vaughn you have to pull through I can't do this with out you. She whispered squeezing his hand. I love you so much. She slowly pulled her self closer to his body before softly resting her head on his chest. She closed her eyes for a moment before noticing his breathing was getting heavier. She slowly lifted her head up and gave him a soft kiss on the fore head before sitting back down in her chair. She glanced down at her watch, 2.45am. Oh Vaughn. She sighed looking back up at him. If you don't pull through this, I don't know what I'll do I can't live with out you. Having to watch you day in and day out with Lauren nearly killed me I was lost. Loosing you for good....She closed hey eyes for a second as tears streamed down her face. Don't go, please don't go I can't loose you. She continued before getting up and placing a soft kiss on his pale lips. She held the kiss for a few seconds before parting. I love you Vaughn. She whispered as she stepped away from his bed. She quietly walked over to the window but jumped at the sound of Vaughns heart monitor going of. Vaughn!! She yelled out as she rushed back to his bed. Vaughn...Vaughn!! At that moment a group of doctors burst into the room pushing her away from his bedside. Whats wrong with him?!! She yelled at the doctors but they pushed her even further away.
-I'm sorry you're going to have to leave the room.
-No! No whats wrong with him?! Sydney protested trying to push through them.
-Miss please leave the room we'll let you know shortly.

And with that Sydney was lead out of the room. By the time she turned around to see what was going on the door behind her was slammed in her face and the blinds were pulled over the window.

-What the hell is going on?? Weiss yelled out as he ran over to her.
-I don't know.... He was fine one second than stopped breathing the next. She replied hysterically with tears streaming down her face.
-Ok stay calm, sit down! He grabbed her by the hand and lead her to the row of seats across from Vaughns room.
They sat in silence for about half an hour before one of the doctors came out of Vaughn room. Both Sydney and Weiss sprung to their feet and raced over to the doctor.
-What's going on?!! Weiss asked nervously.
-The doctor took a deep breath and finally answered them. Apart from the shot's to the back and leg, Mr. Vaughn has suffered internal bleeding and a blow to the head. He paused for a second and slowly removed the plastic gloves from his hands. His heart rate dropped enormously and his breathing stopped. We spent the whole time trying to revive him, but it was useless. I'm so sorry, he didn't pull through.

MICHAEL VAUGHN

How do you go on when the one most important thing in your life is gone?
How do you say goodbye?
Is goodbye......forever?

Today I say goodbye to my other half......
......to something normal in my life
......to someone that makes my life worth living
......to someone I love.
......Today, I say goodbye to Michael Vaughn.

I can feel my heart brake into two as I step of the sand and onto the large rocks leading up to the edge of the cliff. With my left hand I hold on to Vaughn and with my right on to my best friend, Eric Weiss. As we approach the cliff my hear starts to pound and my hands start to shake. I try to stop and back away but Weiss squeezes my hand even tighter leading me towards the edge. I stop for a moment and look around, Vaughns friends and family stop to as they lift their heads up and stare back at me. I look at them for a moment before spotting a little boy standing across from me. He stands perfectly still, clenching on to his mothers long black coat, he looks me in the eye for a second but than looks away as he starts to sob quietly. I let go of Weiss' hand and slowly walk over to him. Pulling out a new tissue I hand it to him with a reassuring smile. As he takes the tissue from my hand I turn back around and make my way to the cliff.

I take three more small steps before stopping.

Now I stand, on the edge, with the sun setting over the horizon and Vaughn by my side. I look to my left he looks back at me with a smile on his face. I manage to smile back at him as he gently squeezes my hand. I can feel a tear slide down my face as I slowly take of the lid from the urn.
- Syd. He says quietly as I close my eyes and step away from the edge.
- I can't to this Vaughn, I can't do this. I answer him as tears start rolling down my face.
- Yes you can. He answers back to me quietly.
- I can't do this with out you...I don't want you to leave me. I cry out.
- Syd....He pauses for a moment, I can feel him slip his hand around my waste pulling me closer to him. I'm not leaving you. He whispers in my ear before kissing me softly on the top of the head. I'll always be with you.

I close me eyes and slowly take of the lid, I can feel the wind pick up again as I hold the urn over the edge. I love you Vaughn. I whisper quietly. Taking a deep breath I tip it over.
Opening my eyes again I watch as he slowly slips away from me, I can feel my stomach turn as the last little bit of him gently hits the water and...... disappears.

Forever?

I don't know...does forever really exist?
Could this be it, was it supposed to end like this?
Was the one thing I cherish most.... was it meant to just.....just slip away?

It's the bitter taste of loosing everything I held dear