Long time no write, but let's see if I can work up something in my funny bone. Thank you all for your reviews, they mean so much to me and though I know you've disappeared, that doesn't mean you don't love me anymore! I don't own the song, Johnny Rivers does.
He held the sniper in his hand firmly and pointed it at the first guards head. Pulling the trigger, the guard slumped on the ground, blood seeping through the hole. The young man did the same to the other guard and left the rifle by the door, entering the office.
There the bad guy was, sitting in his chair, with his back towards him. He didn't swivel and spoke aloud.
There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow
"You've been trying to trail me for many years. It's time for you to tell me who you are," said a familiar voice. The young man pulled out a handgun and pointed it at the chair. He smiled and his yellow teeth glistened in the sunlight.
"The name's Tolansky, Todd Tolansky," said...Toad. The chair swiveled and he found himself face to face with his arch nemesis, Dr. Evil. Todd unlatched the safety on his gun and shook his head, giving a sexy smile. Frau grabbed her bosom at the intensely sexy look, it made her toes curl.
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
"Ah, so you, Mr. Tolansky, are the one who has been ruining my underground drug ring..."
"What?" He asked. "I just came to get back the fifty bucks you owe me from last night's poker!"
"We've been CAUGHT!" Frau shared with the others.
"Well, I think Mr. Tolansky that you won't be receiving payment. You know too much! Get 'em fem bots!"
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
The fem bots came through a door that no one noticed before and walked in; their ample bosoms growing cold...er, their barrels coming out so they'd be able to shoot at him. They began to shoot towards Todd but he back flipped out of the way and grabbed Mini Me by the neck. Holding a gun to his head, he threatened them all.
"Call off the fem bots, Dr. Evil! Or I'll kill him!" he shouted. Dr. Evil called off the fem bots and they went back to the other room where they were busy, er, training with Number Two, ahem.
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
"Don't kill him! It will cause me to yearn for death for fifteen minutes! Then I will attack you with this stapler!" Dr. Evil said. Frau made a move though and Tolansky shot her in the head. He then threw Mini Me out the window were he "eeped" all the way down and landed in Fred's huge bowl of Fettuccini Alfredo. "It's now over Tolansky!"
Dr. Evil ran towards him but Todd leaped over his head and kicked him into an appropriately vacant machine which Dr. Evil pressed a button after sitting Mr. Bigglesworth in the seat beside him.
"We'll return Todd Tolansky! And when we do, nothing will stop us!" He then shot through the ceiling and disappeared into the sky. The government received many calls of a pair of metal testicles floating through the air.
Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day
Oh no, you let the robber slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Todd then ran to the drug ring and killed all of the people involved before saving Eliza Dushku who was strapped into a chair. He freed her and leaned her back in his arms.
"I have no idea who you are, but right now, I want to have sex with you on this table so you can then leave me with crabs," she said. And they had sex on the table but instead he left her with the gift of Herpes. And the day was saved, thanks to Todd Tolansky.
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man
Not my fault this sucked, it's been a long time. But hopefully, I can get back in the mood.