5. A Living Corpse
It had gone quiet in the saloon. It dawned outside. Bill had taken two chairs. He sat on the first one and had propped up his legs on the other. He had pulled his hat over his eyes and was snoring contentedly. He had gotten so full of alcohol that he fell asleep in the saloon that same evening. His three cronies sat at a table and kipped, too.
But then the stillness was broken by pounding, hasty footsteps outside on the sidewalk and the side doors of the saloon swung open.
"Hey, Bad Bill!" Waffles cried.
Bill was so startled that he fell backwards with his chair.
"Hey, you idiot!" Bill cursed. "Are you crazy!? You probably don't have all vases in the box anymore."
Groaning, the Gila monster held his head. His hangover from drinking so much was taking its toll now. If he hadn't had the headache, he would have punched Waffles, who had run into the saloon.
"Rango brought Jake into town!" Waffles blurted out.
Bill thought, he had misheard and blinked in surprise. "What?"
"Yes, really! He's outside the old barn. Along with an old armadillo."
Bill still didn't seem to get it and rubbed his head. His mind slowly cleared up again.
"Is this sheriff totally crazy now?" Bill grumbled and got up with difficulty.
His cronies finally understood what was going on.
"He's been in the sun too long," Kinski mumbled. Even with him, the residual alcohol was still dormant in his blood.
"But way too long in the sun," Chorizo agreed, sinking his head back onto the table.
"Almost grilled already," Stump joined in now and fished for his hat, which he had lost while sleeping.
"Let's take a look," Bill said. He adjusted his hat and walked shakily toward the exit.
"What do you want to do, Bill?" Kinski asked tipsy.
Bill stayed in the doorway. "Guess what? If so, that's my trophy. And I'll chase it away from him again." With these words, Bill pushed open the swinging doors.
Outside, word of Jake's presence in town had long since spread. All the people, some even still in their pajamas, were now standing on the street and were watching as Rango and the armadillo used ropes to pull the heavy snake into the shed.
"Hey, you Sheriff!" Bill shouted, immediately holding his head again.
Rango paused. Roadkill also stopped working for a moment. At that moment, Bill's people came running and crashed into their boss, still a bit drunk. Bill lost his balance, fell forward and landed on his stomach on the ground. A few townspeople couldn't help but chuckle. Much to the annoyance of Bill, who angrily quickly got to his feet.
"Sheriff! This is my trophy! He's mine!"
Rango exchanged a quick look with Roadkill, then he let go of the rope and took a step forward.
"What makes you think of that now?" the chameleon asked angrily.
"Because I shooed him across the road," Bill countered. "So he's mine!"
"And why didn't you get him off the highway away immediately?" Rango asked with raised eyebrows.
Bill snorted. "Well, because it's too heavy for me. I wanted to pick it up later, but I wanted to party with my buddies first."
He gestured behind to his people, who had almost fallen asleep on their feet again.
"This snake is confiscated," Rango said firmly. "I took it, so the body now belongs in the hands of justice." He casually placed a hand on the snake's body and leaned against it. But at the same moment, Rango's eyes widened in shock. He had felt a slight movement under the snake skin. His eyes wandered uncertainly to Jake's head. Apparently, Jake was about to wake up again. Rango's eyes continued to wander to Roadkill, whose gaze told him that Rango should get Jake out of here quickly before everyone realized that the Grim Reaper was anything but dead. Or at least half dead. Or almost dead.
"Uh… like I said, the snake now belongs to the town and that's that. Hasta la vista, Billy." But no sooner had Rango turned his back on Bill, he heard a clicking sound behind him.
Bill had drawn his revolver and aimed it at Rango. "You didn't want it that way, well then we'll do it my way. So give me the snake, sheriff. Instantly!"
At that moment, Stump fell forward in his sleep and landed against Bill's back. Believing an ambush, Bill immediately turned and almost shot Stump.
"Are you completely stupid?!" Bill yelled at him and pushed him away.
Rango and the armadillo wasted no time dragging Jake into the barn as fast as they could. Luckily, Kinski was complaining that his eardrum was sore now, so they had a few seconds more time. Then Rango slammed the gate and locked it. Relieved, he leaned against it and took a deep breath. "Phew, that was close."
"Hey! Open that door immediately!" Bill yelled from outside and pounded on the gate.
Just as Rango was about to open his mouth in defense, someone else answered instead.
"Bill! How dare you make such a racket in the morning?!" Beans's angry voice could be heard. "Get out of here, I'm in a bad mood enough! Get lost!"
For a phase, there was only loud discussion, which finally ended with a menacing click from Beans's rifle. Bill's cursing could still be heard for a while until it fell silent.
Rango stayed at the door and listened intently. Then a hand knocked on the barn door.
"Rango!" Beans's angry voice shouted. "Open the door immediately! I have to talk to you!"
"Er... sweetheart, this is a very bad time," Rango replied tentatively. A growl from Beans made him flinch.
"Rango! If you don't open up right now, I'll never speak to you again!"
"Alright, alright," Rango admitted defeat. "It's okay, you won."
With a deep sigh, he removed the latch. Immediately, Beans, still clutching the rifle, pushed open the door and nearly knocked Rango over.
"Please, not so wild, sweetheart. I haven't slept that night..."
"Don't think I've forgotten our discussion from yesterday," Beans burst out. "But that's not why I'm here. How dare you bring Jake here?"
Rango kneaded his fingers nervously. "Er... well, I picked up Jake's body because... because I think someone like him deserves a proper burial."
Beans twisted her mouth skeptically while Rango kept trying to defend himself.
"I want to investigate the case more closely."
"What is there to examine?" Beans asked.
At that moment, the snake's body twitched. Beans spun around and aimed her rifle at the snake. Rango quickly jumped in front of her.
"Beans! No, don't shoot!" He risked a sideways glance at Jake, but Jake hadn't woken up, he had just moved briefly.
"What does that mean, Rango?" Beans asked inquiringly. "I thought, he was dead."
"I never said, he was dead."
Beans narrowed her eyes. "Then why did you tell the others he was dead?"
Rango cleared his throat. "So that the others don't get upset and on the other hand because I'm afraid Bill could get stupid ideas and maybe kill him after all."
Beans's mouth stayed open for a few seconds, stunned. "Are you saying you knew he was alive all along and you're putting us all in danger?"
"No, no, it's not like that, Beans," Rango insisted. "I… I just couldn't let him die outside." He lifted his head determinedly. "That was pure assistance."
Beans narrowed her eyes even more. "And you really think he'll return the favor?" Rango's eyes widened as Beans leveled the barrel of her rifle at his nose. "Maybe even return the favor in a deadly way?"
Both jumped when there was a knock on the gate.
"Uh, sheriff. The doctor would be here now," Spoon's voice called to them through the boards. "As you requested."
Rango clapped his hands in relief. "How great!" and hastily he went to the gate, visibly relieved to be out of Beans's visor for a moment. Exuberantly, he opened the door. "Doc, come in..." He paused when he saw Doc standing at an angle. Apparently, he was still a bit tipsy from last night's drink.
"Uh...hic...you sent for me, Sheriff?"
"Uh, oh, yes, come in, come on." Without more words, Rango pulled the old rabbit into the barn and immediately closed the door again.
The doctor swayed a little, but he was immediately grabbed on the shoulders by Rango, which stabilized him a little.
"Doc," Rango began, looking at him seriously. "As a doctor, you're sworn to secrecy, as far as I know, right?"
Doc didn't know what to make of this question, so he hesitantly answered. "Er... yes."
"Fine, then it will be your job to examine Jake."
"Oh, you want me to cut him open?" Doc rubbed his hands together. "A good idea. I've actually never had the opportunity to dissect a snake in years. I hope, you will allow me to send the specimen to a colleague. He would pay me a lot of money for it."
"No!"
"Of course you'll get something too..."
"Doc! I didn't call for you to dissect him, you should just wake him up again."
Doc's mouth fell open. "Uh, sheriff? Honestly, I've never raised a dead person from the dead before. If you're going to do something like that, you'd better get in touch with a pastor."
"Good gracious!" Rango growled through clenched teeth. "No, what I'm actually trying to say is that..." He looked around. But apart from Beans, and still Roadkill in the background, there was no one else in the room, but he still leaned towards Doc, put his hand to his mouth and whispered something to the doctor as quietly as possible. "I mean, you will be one of the only ones, who should know about something, which you have to keep absolute silence, namely..." The rest was just a barely audible murmur, which Beans couldn't understand, but she guessed what Rango was saying.
Doc's eyes widened. "Hasn't the devil taken him yet?"
"Shhh!" Rango hissed and covered the doctor's mouth. "Nobody should know about it. Especially not Bill."
"Why not?"
"There are several reasons for this. And I'd be very grateful if you didn't talk about it with anyone else." His gaze shifted to Beans. "That applies to you, too, Beans."
Beans's mouth twisted. "I hope, you know what you're asking, don't you?"
"Yes, I know," Rango confirmed with a determined undertone.
"Alright. But don't call me if that gets you in trouble again. Goodbye, Rango." With these words, she turned away and marched to the door.
At least it made her forget yesterday's argument for a moment, Rango thought to himself.
No sooner had Beans closed the door, there was deep silence for a moment before Rango finally dared to speak again. "Well, doctor. Would you now?"
The doctor wrinkled his nose. "Only if you bring me cactus juice from the saloon."
Rango let out a warning clearing of his throat. "Work before pleasure."
"A coffee?"
Rango nodded. "That's a possibility."