Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or any of the characters I use in this story. This fanfiction was written for pure fun and no money was/is made with it.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama/Angst
Summary: A simple hunting trip turns into a disaster as Elladan and Elrohir are attacked by orcs. With Elrohir being seriously hurt, their only chance lies now in the hands of Aragorn and Legolas....but will they meet in time? Main Characters: Elladan, Elrohir, Aragorn, and Legolas.
E-mail: kaeerayahoo.de
Feedback: Always appreciated, and constructive criticism is very welcome.
Notes:Nope, I didn't forget you. I just had a busy life. My confirmation for my year in Australia arrived and now I have to prepare everything, apply for a visa, pay the bills, look for the flight, check the inventar, write e-mails, look after the insurance...But I'm looking forward to it. Now, enjoy the chapter!
When the Snow Falls
by Kaeera
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Chapter 16: Progress
"Be careful, don't overdo it!"
Elrohir rolled his eyes. "Yes, brother, I know. Now, would you please let go of my arm?"Rather reluctantly, Elladan stepped away from his twin, but ready to catch him if Elrohir started to fall. The twins and Elrond were currently standing in Elrohir's chambers and the younger twin was trying his first steps after his week-long stay in bed. Since his body was still weak, he was wobbly on his feet and couldn't walk very far."Can you make it to the window, my son?" Elrond asked, watching the scene from a safe distance through the trained eye of a healer. Although he didn't show it, he was amused by Elladan's mother-henning and Elrohir's response to it. The younger twin might not remember much, but he was certainly acting like his old self.
"I will certainly try," Elrohir's jaw was set in a firm line as he slowly made his way across the room.
He wobbled a bit, but he managed it well enough, and Elrond couldn't help but smile softly. What progress his son had made! In the beginning, the younger twin had barely managed to stay awake for more than a few minutes and now he was already up and roaming around. The Lord of Imladris knew how difficult head wounds could be to treat, and was so grateful that Elrohir seemed to be recovering quickly. In fact, it was nearly too quickly, for they had to keep a constant eye on the elf so that he wouldn't overdo it.
The only remaining problem was Elrohir's memory loss, but Elrond was confident that this matter would be resolved sooner or later. They only needed time.
"Are you feeling dizzy?" he inquired and studied his son, as Elrohir reached the window and leaned against the frame.
"No," Elrohir admitted, pleasantly surprised by the fact. "It's getting better! Thank the Valar, for I was quite weary of the constant dizziness. It makes it difficult so to concentrate!"
Elladan hovered around his twin. "Are you sure that you are well?"
Elrohir rolled his eyes. "I may have lost my memory, but I certainly didn't lose my ability to think – I know when I feel ill and when I do not!"
"Perhaps, but your word concerning your health cannot always be trusted," Elladan pointed out.
"I believe one can say the same of you." the younger twin countered. "I remember very well our hunting trip when you…when you…" His brow furrowed in confusion, as he tried to grab a part of his memory which wasn't really there. "Strange…I thought I remembered something…but now it has disappeared." Elrohir concluded unhappily with a look of darkness on his face.
Elrond understood his son's frustration with his patchy memories, but overall he was pleased with Elrohir's progress. His memories were returning, albeit slowly, but they were coming back. The young elf was simply too impatient and didn't realize that he had already regained many unconscious memories. Alas, however, Elrond had long ago given up teaching his sons patience, for he suspected that they would never learn.
Elrohir sent Elladan an accusing look. "Never mind the specifics, I know you are as bad as me when it comes to stating how you feel. So do not think to chastise me when you are equally guilty!"
Elladan looked indignant. "Why is this the first thing you remember?" he complained, but he wasn't serious, as the amused glitter in his eyes showed.
"Perhaps that's just my personal charm," Elrohir answered with a small grin.
"Right." Elladan muttered. "As if you ever had any."
They both stared at each other for a long moment and then started laughing while Elrond watched with an amused smile on his lips. He was glad that his family was finally back together and everyone seemed to be recovering just fine.
Elrohir stared gloomily at the wall. He had gotten sick of his room and had decided to leave it and the suffocating atmosphere of everyone else around him. With the need to be alone for a bit, he left his room, desperately wanting to breathe fresh air. After wandering around the gardens for a while, enjoying the fresh air and his freedom, he ended up sitting under a tree, facing the wall of a tower of Imladris.
As he sat there, enjoying his moment alone, he though about how he was feeling. Walking still proved to be an effort and he often was bothered by headaches, but overall, his body was healing nicely.
Oh, if only the same could be said about his mind!
He was so tired of it all! He was sick of not knowing the names of the servants that greeted him amiably, and it was driving him crazy that he knew nothing of his past, not to mention that he didn't even know his way around Imladris. He had actually managed to get lost in his own home!
It went without saying that this particular event had been highly embarrassing for him. After all, he had been born and had lived here for about 2000 years – and now he didn't even know the way from the main hall to his personal quarters. The last time he had wandered around, he had landed in the kitchen!
They were all very kind to him, of course. Nobody laughed or was offended when he didn't remember something. In fact, quite the opposite was true, for they were all very helpful and caring – with the effect that Elrohir felt crowded by the mass of information that was raining down on him. Everybody seemed to think that it would help him to remember if they told him many stories about his past.
Well, it was nice to hear about it, of course, but over time it had become boring just to hear about himself and he could think of many other things he'd rather do.
Elrond told him that he had to be patient, but damn, it was so difficult! He knew that he was supposed to know this garden, and yet it felt as if he had stepped into it for the first time! Then there were the moments when he seemed to remember something – it was there, in his mind, clear as spring water, he just needed to grab it – and then, BANG, it was gone again, hiding in the depths of his mind.
'Frustrating' didn't even begin to describe how he was feeling.
Maybe he really had to wait. Maybe it only needed time. But it was so damn hard! He felt as if a part of him was missing, as if he wasn't whole, and that was a feeling he didn't wish to bear for much longer.
"But complaining won't help," he murmured miserably and threw a stone against the wall. "It'll only make me feel more depressed."
Elrohir leaned back in the grass and stared at the snow covering the ground. It was somewhat amazing; he couldn't remember his own life, yet he knew the names of all those insignificant things like snow, various flowers, weapons, and furniture.
The young elf sighed with irritation. But as he looked around at the beautiful garden, really taking in the loveliness of the snow-covered place, a sense of tranquillity began to seep into his soul. The sky above him was blue and the sun was shining warmly down on the dark-haired elf. For the first time since he had woken up, the younger twin felt at peace. Maybe it was because of the solitude, or maybe because of the comforting nature around him, he didn't know. Maybe it was because he was away from everyone's smothering attention for awhile. His father, his brother, Aragorn, Legolas, even Glorfindel, they were overwhelming him with their concern and worries.
Whatever the reason for this newfound sense of peace was, Elrohir felt more comfortable than he had in days, and so it was no wonder that he fell asleep, despite the fact that he was sitting on the snow, outside, in winter.
Elladan growled in frustration as he stormed through the halls of Imladris. "Where is he?" he asked nobody in particular. "He knows he's supposed to be there for supper!"
The elder twin scowled, but in truth wasn't really angry. In fact, he was worried sick. He had spent nearly every waking moment with Elrohir over the last several days and he didn't like having his younger brother out of his sight. Too great had been the chance of losing him, too close had Elrohir been to death. Although Elladan knew that Elrohir was exasperated by his mothering, he couldn't stop it. Wouldn't stop it. There was this part of him that was afraid of losing Elrohir again, and that tiny little voice wouldn't stop nagging him until his twin was somewhere in sight.
Elladan doubted that Elrohir understood the depth of his feelings, but then again, he had never told him. He would have found comfort in sharing his fears, but his younger twin had enough problems of his own - he needn't to be burdened with Elladan's as well.
"Now where is he?" he wondered when he turned around a corner and Elrohir wasn't there. "He can't even find his way around the house without his memories. He could have gotten lost anywhere!"
He was dreaming. Or was he? He couldn't be certain, but it definitely was strange. There were images, like pieces of a puzzle spread in his mind, and he struggled to get a clear picture of them. What was the meaning? There was…
…the soft sound of a bow when the arrows left off, flying safely towards their target……the smile of a beautiful she-elf, with long golden hair, reaching out her arms to hug him…
…somebody telling him to recite the names of the Elven kings, although he somehow couldn't remember…
He was inspecting the pieces and decided to take a better look, carefully sneaking closer so that they wouldn't vanish again. Who was the beautiful she-elf? She seemed familiar, very familiar. A warm feeling emanated from his heart at the mere thought of her, but also a feeling of sadness, mixed with anger and grief. She had been…important to him. Very important. And he had lost her. How? Blurry…it was all so blurry…
"Elladan, Elrohir, it's time to go to bed," Celebrian announced and placed a kiss on the top of Elladan's head.
"I want to stay awake!" Elladan replied and made a sullen face. Elrohir followed his example and firmly set his jaw. "We're older now. We should be allowed to stay up late."
"But tomorrow is a busy day, my darlings," Celebrian soothed, "and little elflings need their rest."
"We're not tired!" announced Elladan and tried to hide the yawn that was trying to escape from his lips.
"Oh yes, you are." The blonde elf smiled good-naturedly. "And now listen to your Amme and go to bed. No protest!"
It was beginning to make sense now. Elrohir relaxed further into the dream, totally unaware of his surroundings.
It was only by accident that Elladan came out to the gardens to look for his brother. He had only wanted to breathe the fresh air, but then a shadow not far away from the entrance caught his attention. He walked closer, only to realize that it was indeed his brother who leaned against a tree and snored peacefully.
Elladan snorted. He had been worrying for nothing! But still, he felt relief flood through his heart at the innocent sight of his younger twin. Elrohir looked totally relaxed, a state he'd rarely been in in the last few days. The events were putting a strain on the elf, although he tried his best not to show it.
Elladan knelt down in the snow, wondering if he should wake him or not. Although elves weren't affected by the cold, it probably wasn't the best thing to sleep outside in the cold. On the other hand, he didn't have the heart to wake Elrohir when he was sleeping so peacefully. He looked…younger.
The older twin chuckled, realizing that this thought was strange – after all, he was only minutes older – but he couldn't help it. He had always regarded himself as the oldest of the siblings, and thought it was his responsibility to take care of them – of Arwen as well as of Elrohir and later, Estel.
His musings were stopped, however, when Elrohir decided to wake up for himself. The dark-haired elf stirred slightly, mumbling something.
"Hey sleepyhead," Elladan said softly. "Time to wake up."
Elrohir focused his eyes on him and blinked slightly. "Elladan?"
"The one and only." Elladan grinned.
"I…I had a dream." Elrohir murmured, a confused look on his face. "I dreamt of Amme…"
Elladan's heart missed a beat. Elrohir had dreamt of their mother? Did that mean that he had remembered something? Not wanting to rush things, he slowly leaned forward.
"Can you tell me about it?" he inquired softly, not wanting to seem his impatient. So far, Elrohir had shown no sign of remembering their mother, something that hurt Elladan at an unconscious level.
Elrohir tilted his head, and then stared at Elladan, his gaze thoughtful. "I .... I seem to remember something," he said slowly, touching his head.
He tried to catch the memory, but there was only emptiness inside his mind. The images were gone. Just fleeting pictures of a memory. His past life? But what did it mean? He didn't know.
Only one thing remained, the image of a beautiful she-elf, hair as golden as the sun…his mother, his mother Celebrian!
"What did you see?" Elladan inquired softly.
"She
was there, smiling at me," Elrohir searched for the right words to
describe the images in his head, "I didn't want to go to bed – no, we
didn't want to go to bed! – but she only smiled and…I don't know…it
felt warm."
The younger twin looked up at Elladan. "…she was beautiful."
"Yes, she was." Elladan smiled, but sadness lingered in his eyes. He had lost count of the years that had passed since Celebrian had sailed away, but the pain was still alive in his heart. Back then, it had nearly broken the twins to see their beautiful and kind mother suffering so much.
Then he blinked, shaking off the melancholic feeling. Right now was neither the time nor place for this. "See, Ada was right. Your memories are returning."
A hesitant smile appeared on Elrohir's face. "Yes…yes. And I'm quite glad about it. Perhaps I'll finally be able to feel whole again."
"Certainly." Elladan took his brother's arm and pulled him to his feet. "Come now, although you're an elf, it's not good to sleep in the snow. Honestly, what were you thinking? I was worried about you and searched the whole palace." He crossed his arms and sent the younger elf a scolding look. "And then you're out here in the snow, while I run everywhere and ask everyone if they have seen you!"
Elrohir snorted. "That's exactly the reason why I left. It was getting crowded!! I needed time for myself, and I couldn't find it when you and the others were always around."
Elladan looked hurt. "We only want to help you!" he exclaimed. "If you wanted time alone, you might have simply said something rather than disappear for hours!"
"Well, I never expected to fall asleep," responded Elrohir with a scowl. "And I wanted to be back before anyone noticed me missing. And besides, I didn't think I needed to ask for permission to leave my own home."
"But…." Elladan opened his mouth to protest, but then only sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Nevermind. I'm just glad that I found you, and I'm sorry if I'm a bit overwhelming, but… I nearly lost you, Elrohir, and I find it hard to leave your side."
Elrohir looked up and saw the pain in his brother's eyes. Immediately he felt sorry. Over the last several days, he had often felt annoyed by the constant presence of his twin, but now he realized that the other had had his reasons as well for the endless hovering. It came to him all at once – Elladan's desperate pleading when he had still been half-conscious, his joy when he had finally woken up, and the pain he seemed to feel every time Elrohir couldn't remember something. And suddenly Elrohir realized that he was not the only one who was suffering. He might be the one who was physically injured, but Elladan had been traumatized as well, and he, Elrohir, hadn't cared, simply because he hadn't remembered.
He felt guilty and vowed to himself to change this, immediately, right now.
"I know," he smiled at Elladan in order to ease his anxiety. "I guess it's hard for me to understand since I don't remember a thing about what happened to me."
Elladan, relieved because his twin wasn't angry with him, motioned towards the door. "Let's go inside. I'm getting uncomfortable out here."
"Yes," Elrohir agreed more than readily. The idea he had in mind wasn't something one should discuss in the open.
So the two entered their home and took a few moments to brush the snow out of their hair. That was one thing Elrohir hated about having long hair – when it was wet, it used to stick to all possible and impossible places, with the only purpose – or so it seemed – to annoy him.
"Elladan?" Elrohir inquired, while they were walking back to the twin's chambers. "There's something I'd like to discuss with you."
"Of course. You know that you can always talk to me."
"Yes," Elrohir smiled once more, and then opened the door to his room. Luckily, no one was inside, so he was spared from the problem of driving away other people without telling his real intention.
With a soft click, the door closed and Elrohir sat down on a chair, closing his eyes for a short moment. He felt exhausted, but didn't want to admit it.
"Elladan," he began and fixed his gaze on his twin, who was leaning against the wall. "I want you to tell me everything about the battle and how I was injured."
Elladan looked startled because of this sudden demand. He shifted uncomfortably. "Why? Didn't Ada already tell you the details?"
"He told me the facts, but he didn't tell me what everyone, especially you, was feeling."
"Why would you want to know that?"
"Because I'm worried about you." Elrohir's face was serious. "I may not remember much, but I know what I feel. I know that I would be shaken if you nearly died, and I also know that you have not talked with anybody about this, instead focusing solely on me."
Elladan just stared at him, mouth agape. "How do you do that?"
"What?" Elrohir was confused.
"Read my mind like that. Even without your memories…" His face softened. "It's so very like you…" Then he shook his head as if trying to get rid of a confusing image. "Very well, I'll tell you. But only because I know that you won't stop nagging me until I do."
"You do know me rather well, don't you." Elrohir said dryly.
"Well, one should expect that after two thousand years, no?" Elladan grinned briefly and then sighed, closing his eyes when he recalled the scene.
"It was supposed to be a simple hunting trip, but then we got attacked by orcs in the middle of the forest…"
The
clashing of swords was the only sound in the emptiness of the woods,
echoing through the silence, scaring every creature away. The numbers
of the orcs were great, but many were already lying on the ground,
seriously wounded or dead, their blood staining the white snow with its
dark color.
Snow started to fall from the gray, cloud-covered sky
and he knew that it wouldn't be long until total darkness surrounded
them. It wasn't the best time to be attacked, but then again, it never
was. Nothing had gone as they had expected on this little hunting trip,
for it had been calm around the borders of Imladris this winter.
For a brief moment the orc stared at him, yellow eyes raging with fury.
The elf stepped backwards, never letting his guard drop, and prepared
for the final blow. A sudden scream, a fast movement, someone yelling
his name...
"We were fighting well, but then you
were surprised by this gigantic orc when he hit your head from behind.
I could see how your body was smashed sideways with the force of the
blow, and I couldn't help but scream in fear when I saw you falling to
the ground…"
...He wanted to jump back and out of
danger, but he never managed it. A powerful blow suddenly struck the
right side of his head, and his vision swam as pain raced through his
body. His knees wouldn't support his weight anymore and he slowly felt
himself tumbling to the ground, unable to stop his fall.
He let out a cry of agony, the pain immense. Red spots appeared in front of his eyes as he desperately tried to stay conscious; it would be his certain death if he collapsed during this battle.
Warm liquid was running down his face as he fell on his knees, and he
felt his awareness was fleeing from him. His eyelids dropped as
unconsciousness caught him in its dark embrace and pulled him away from
awareness.
His eyes closed and he knew no more.
Elladan's eyes showed the pain he had felt when he had seen his brother fall. "I was running towards you, but I knew that I was too late, that I wouldn't reach you in time…it was horrible, it was as if my heart stopped beating and every sound had faded away. I killed the last orcs with my own hands, and then I ran towards you, only to see you so…still on the ground." Elladan closed his eyes and softly shook his head. "I…can't explain what went through my head in those few seconds when I felt for your pulse and couldn't find it. I was…lost. Everything was muddled together, the fear, the exhaustion, the anxiety, and then…then I felt that you were still alive."
Elrohir laid a comforting hand on his brother's arm. It was strange to hear the story from his twin's point of view. He had known the facts, but it was completely different when emotion was playing a role.
Elladan sent him a small and shaky smile and continued his tale. "Well, I didn't know what to do – you, unconscious, and I alone in the middle of the forest without any help. And there was the storm. Typical! It's never easy. Always the worst case scenario. And it always happens to us."
He took a deep breath. "We – I – found the cave and I brought you inside, trying to keep you awake. But you wouldn't listen to me, and you fell in and out of consciousness and that scared me deeply."
"You were afraid?" Elrohir whispered.
"Oh yes. Yes, I was scared out of my wits." Elladan smiled wryly. "I knew that head wounds aren't easy to deal with and your behavior worried me even more. But when we were in the cave, I was able to gather a bit of courage and told myself that everything would be fine, that, as soon as the storm ended we could return to Imladris and Ada would heal you…"
"But there was something else."
"Yes." Elladan nodded.
His younger twin regarded him closely. "Ada wasn't very specific about it. He just told me that we and Aragorn and Legolas were attacked by…wolves?"
"Oh, yes. Big, fat, ugly wolves, and far too many for our taste."
…Everything happened so fast that later none of the four could explain
exactly what had happened first. Several grey beasts jumped out of the
bushes, their teeth yellow, and their bones sticking out of the dirty
fur. Their eyes flashed dangerously; eyes of animals who hadn't eaten
for days and who would do anything to fill their stomachs. They howled,
drooled, panted and gnashed their teeth…
"You weren't
really there, just standing around in the middle of the fight, trying
to stay upright. You insisted that you were able to fight, of course,
but you were in no shape to do so. By the Valar, you couldn't even walk
in a straight line!"
Elrohir grinned slightly. Yes, that sounded like something he would have done, although he couldn't remember.
"And then they attacked you, and I couldn't do anything against it. For the second time that day, I saw you tumble to the ground without being able to protect you. It was one of the worst experiences in my life, I can tell you!"
…One of the wolves leapt directly at Elrohir, who
was once again out of focus and didn't seem to notice it. Forgetting
his own situation immediately, Elladan swirled around, shouting a
warning. But Elrohir didn't seem to hear him, and one look at the pale
face of his twin told him that he wasn't really here right now.
"NO!" Elladan screamed and raced forward, but a sharp pain in his leg
stopped him from doing so. He cursed, nearly stumbled, and looked down
only too see a wolf biting his leg. Not much damage was done, for he
was wearing heavy leather boots, but it was slowing him down…
"I can imagine." Elrohir whispered softly.
Elladan smirked. "We are foolish, are we not? Every time one of us gets hurt, it's a nightmare for the other, yet we can't stop ourselves from going out time and again to fight!"
"Well, would you be more content to stay inside for the rest of your life?" was Elrohir's dry reply.
"No, I guess not." Elladan sighed and looked out of the window. The scenery below him was pretty; he had always liked the gardens during winter. They were so peaceful.
Then he looked at his twin and was glad to see Elrohir alive and healthy – well, more or less. His younger brother was paler than usual and had circles under the eyes which spoke of the strain of the last weeks, but overall, he was recovering nicely.
"You know," he said slowly, trying to find the right words. "When I talk with you, I completely forget that you do not have your memories."
Elrohir blinked. "How can you forget that?"
"I don't know…you are so…normal!" Elladan shrugged confused. "You act normally, you reply normally, and everything…everything just feels like you!"
Elrohir thought for a while. "Maybe. Maybe I'm like I used to be…I mean, it would be odd if suddenly I behaved differently…like Erestor for example…but I am still not whole."
His twin looked at him blankly, and Elrohir realized that he had to explain himself more clearly. "There's something missing, deep inside. I feel it all the time, in the morning, in the evening, I even dream about it! There's a large gap in my heart, a missing part that is supposed to help me know who I am." Impatiently, he waved with his hands.
"It's…difficult. It hurts. And I know that this feeling won't disappear until I have my memories back. That's why I am so eager to find them, 'Dan, that's why I am so desperate!"
Elrohir looked almost lost, like a small child in an unknown territory. And it was true, for him, this place, these people, this time, all this was unknown territory…he could have been a stranger, for all that mattered, a complete stranger…
"Elrohir." And suddenly, there was Elladan in front of him, leaning his forehead against his own. His grey eyes were calm and full of love. "Don't strain yourself. You will get your memories back. Today was a beginning. And you will see, with every day that passes, you will come a little bit farther. It won't be fast, and it certainly won't be easy, but it will happen. So stay calm, because we're all here to help you."
"Yes." Elrohir whispered, suddenly feeling ashamed for his outburst. How could he ever doubt that things would turn out alright with his family, and especially his twin, by his side? A hesitant smile appeared on his face. "Yes, I know you are. Thank you."
Elladan started grinning.
"Any time, brother. And now come, we have to tell Ada and the rest that
you remembered Amme. They will be very happy!"
To be continued...
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(Gah. I hate this new system on ff.net. My formatting always gets screwed and it looks horrible! I can't make more than one paragraph, and everything is cramped together! scowls)
Lomiothiel - Yay, my exams are over. Only one is missing, but that's an oral one...I don't know my results yet, though...well, we had some progress in this chapter and I hope tp put an end to it all soon!
Alariel - Thanks for your wonderful compliment! I myself admire those people who are able to invent a very interesting plot...mine are always too simple in my opinion...
Nefcairiel - Thanks for your Good Luck Wish! Let's just hope that it helped...history exam totally sucked. I've had enough of WWII for now!!
Holly - I'm glad that I could make your sick day a bit brighter. I know how horrible it can be when you are at home and have nothing to do...and you desperately need something to read...man, I'm so glad that we have a flat rate
Lirenel - I myself will soon be a German exchange student in Australia. Hmm...I wonder what experiences I will make. Oh, well, I'm not really a student, I will be more of a teacher...O.o
Celestra - Yep, Australia is very good! I will be in a boarding school one hour away from Melbourne, in the state Victoria. My written English might be good, but I can't speak it...that's why I'm going abroad. But...the flight takes 22 hours! shudders Lion King and Hamlet? Hey, in a way, it can be true...I know a few bits about Hamlet (we've just read MacBeth in school and our teacher likes to talk about Shakespeare), there are some similarities!! How strange!
Lady Claws - I'm glad that you liked the lake scene. I kind of enjoyed it myself! It's so easy to imagine the twins in embarrassing situations, they are magnets for trouble!!
Someone Reading - I didn't forget you! I simply was...very busy. laughs I want to finish this story before I leave to Australia, which will be in October. And I hope you'll like this chapter as well!