Published November 11, 2022

"Accomplice"

One of the last steps of Sylvie's plan was taking a TVA hunter prisoner. She needed information that was not on the TemPad, and she had enough experience with the TVA to know that they would not cooperate willingly. She would have to use magic to trick it out of her.

Creating a scenario inside a person's mind required some creativity, and even theatricality. Sylvie had to devise a scenario that involved asking questions, and be able to improvise based on how the subject responded.

She had never had a friend of her own, but this soldier did, in her life before the TVA. So Sylvie tried to act the way one of those friends would have. It was almost fun, imagining that she could be someone's friend. And it got the job done, getting the soldier to reveal the way to the Time Keepers.

Sylvie was more happy and excited than she had been in a long time. At long last, everything was in place.

But then the new variant showed up, and everything she had spent years painstakingly planning went wrong.

Sylvie wondered whether this Loki, Variant L1130, was the way she would have been if she had continued living in Asgard as the Goddess of Mischief. It was not a pleasing thought. He was arrogant, confident in his abilities and convinced of his own importance. He deliberately tried to be clever, whereas Sylvie prioritized common sense. He tried to manipulate people through deception and trickery, while Sylvie would have used enchantment or brute force.

One thing that set Sylvie apart from all other Loki variants—at least those in the TVA's records—was that she never cared much about political or metaphysical power. She had never wanted to be a leader or a ruler, and she did not care much about having magic. For her, power was only a means to an end. She did not want it for its own sake.

So when this Loki said that he intended to overthrow the Time Keepers, and invited her to be a "lieutenant," she was mildly amused. Fighting him in the RoxxCart was also fun in its way—how many beings had the chance to fight an alternate version of themselves? But she did not stay to finish the fight. She had to finish what she had started.

Bombing the Sacred Timeline at multiple points would send the Minutemen scurrying to prune those new branches, leaving the TVA short-staffed. This would mean fewer people to fight against on her way to the Time Keepers.

What she had not expected was for her powers to be neutralized there. She had not realized it when she was there as a child, since she had barely begun to exercise them by that point. She would have to fight her way there.

And then, he showed up again, along with Ravonna Renslayer herself. Sylvie had looked forward to confronting Renslayer, the former hunter, now a judge, who had ripped her away from her home. But then Loki pulled the same trick Sylvie had all those years ago, swiping her TemPad and opening a Timedoor.

Troubles only multiplied from there. The apocalypse he had brought them to was the worst Sylvie knew of, Lamentis-1; the TemPad's battery was depleted; and though she had her powers again, they apparently could not work on this Loki, who magically hid the TemPad inside himself. She could not kill him or let him die until she got the TemPad, which meant she had to bring him along to find a power source.

In this way, Sylvie found herself with a traveling companion for the first time in her life. It was annoying and amusing and worrying. And it forced her to cooperate and depend on someone else for the first time since she was a child.

For the most part, she had to tell him what to do and not do, since she had more experience in situations like this. But he also had his moments of usefulness. They both needed to use their powers to get on the train. When his disguise illusion was clearly failing, she stepped forward to enchant the ticket-taker.

It was a relief to be able to sit and rest on the train, though that meant they had to put up with each other's company without much else to distract them. That was when they had their first real conversation.

At the mention of his mother, the one who had taught him magic, Sylvie decided to press for details—not because they might be useful to know, but because she was curious. "What was she like?"

It said a lot about this Loki that the first thing he could say about his mother was her title. There was real respect in his tone when he spoke of her. He expressed genuine surprise when he heard that Sylvie's parents had told her she was adopted. In his timeline, his parents had not told him. That probably explained a lot about him. Sylvie actually felt something like pity.

But then, after learning that Sylvie had no point of comparison in her memory, he became more personal. Instead of describing his mother, he gave an example of her interaction with him and her own use of magic. That sounded like her—or at least, like how Sylvie dimly remembered and imagined her. Kindness and cleverness, talent and encouragement.

He even conjured some fireworks in his hand, either to demonstrate his mother's trick or to cheer Sylvie up. They were pretty, and vaguely reminded Sylvie of happier times; but she merely said, "Not bad."

Loki's smile matched her wryness. "She was the kind of person you wanted to believe in you," he said.

"Sounds like she does." That was nice, to have someone who believed in you.

"… Well, she did," Loki amended. It sounded as though he had lost her, or at least considered her lost. She probably was lost to him, at least.

He quickly brought the subject back to magic, and asked Sylvie about hers. He was incredulous that she had taught herself, and she could not help feeling proud. She had never been able to share that accomplishment with anyone, let alone someone who was also familiar with magic. It was nice to see someone be impressed by it—someone who was not simply frightened by it, but appreciated it as a skill. Loki seemed amazed, and asked for details—which reminded her that she could not trust him with such knowledge. He probably just wanted to know so that he would have a tactical advantage over her.

The bartender's offer of drinks lifted the mood a bit, at least on Loki's part. He pretended to toast the end of the world, something Sylvie had seen people do hundreds of times.

"Pity the old woman chose to die, don't you think?" he asked conversationally. Sylvie guessed that he was not so much saddened by the woman's death as he disapproved of her giving up.

But she could understand the reason. "She was in love." The old woman probably wanted to stay where she had experienced love, and she might not have wanted to keep living if all her loved ones were gone.

Loki did not buy this explanation. After the way the woman reacted to seeing her supposed husband, it simply did not add up in his mind. "She hated him."

"Maybe love is hate," Sylvie retorted. That seemed to have been true in most Loki variants' relationships with Thor, Frigga, and Odin. It was quite possible for those two dynamics to coexist. The sudden approach of certain death brought out strange things in people—long-buried truths, loves, and hatreds.

"On the subject of love," Loki said, "is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?"

Sylvie knew he must be teasing, so she played along, as though it were actually possible. "Yeah, actually, there is. I've managed to maintain quite a serious relationship with a postman whilst traveling across time from one apocalypse to another." The ridiculousness became more evident as she said it. She could not have survived if she had someone tagging along after her, especially if they did not have powers like hers.

Loki seemed pleased with both of their jokes. "And with charm like that, who could resist you?"

She got the hint: enchanting people would have made them much more willing to engage in an affair. But she didn't need that. "Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom."

"I'm sure they are."

Sylvie became serious as she admitted, "It was only ever enough to keep me going." She deflected the focus back to him, then, teasing him about his past romances. He was honest enough to admit his past affairs, as well as the lack of any that were truly meaningful. That, at least, was something they had in common.

"Love is mischief, then?" she suggested. Playfulness and a capacity for betrayal certainly seemed like part of it.

But Loki disagreed, frowning thoughtfully. "No. Love is …" He paused, and in the silence that hung between them, he seemed to be reassessing.

The conversation, and the very setting, had somehow become more intimate in the last few minutes. Perhaps he was only now realizing that he was discussing love with a woman who was not unattractive herself. Or maybe he simply was not used to discussing serious topics in a serious way.

"… something I'll need another drink to think about," he finished.

After that, they agreed to try to rest, each in their own way. Sylvie stayed in their booth while Loki got up for more food and drinks. The train was certainly a step up from her usual kind of accommodations. But she could never truly relax with an apocalypse approaching. Even if there was some time left until the very end of all life, she had learned not to let her guard down when tensions around her would only go up.

But, despite her best intentions, the steady motion of the train eventually lulled her to sleep. She woke up some hours later when the noise around her changed and grew in volume.

Loki was at the bar, singing at the top of his lungs while someone played a stringed musical instrument and everyone else clapped along. His illusion of a guard's uniform was gone, revealing his TVA-issued clothes. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world. He was drunk.

Sylvie was so bewildered by the scene that it took her a moment to realize Loki was singing in Asgardian. She had not heard that language spoken since she was a little girl. And that song—she recognized the tune, though she had forgotten it after so many years. As he sang, the words came back to her mind, like wood resurfacing in water.

But trees dance and waterfalls stop

When she sings, she sings "come home"

He sang it so exuberantly, as though there was not anything sad about the words, or anything dangerous about their current situation.

But his demeanor changed somewhat for the last verse, which he sang with some gravity, demanding silence from everyone else. He was too absorbed in his performance to notice the man who, cast him a suspicious look, and left the train car. Sylvie's attention was split between him and the words Loki was singing.

In storm-black mountains, I wander alone

Over the glacier I make my way

In the apple garden stands the maiden fair

and sings, "When will you come home?"

What made Sylvie even more uncomfortable was the way he looked to her as he sang. Was he serenading her? Did he think he was being charming, paying her a compliment? Was he likening her to the woman in the story? That made no sense. She had no home to go back to, and no one to call or search for. The home and people she missed no longer existed in any timeline.

As soon as the song was over, topped off by a toast calling everyone's attention to her, she got up and tried to wake him up to the danger he had put them in. He brushed off her concern, and only became serious when he said he had a conclusion about their earlier conversation. It was kind of cute, how hard he was trying to be deep and philosophical.

"Love is an imaginary dagger?" Sylvie summarized. Saying it that way made him realize how ridiculous it sounded.

Their conversation was cut off when her fear came to fruition: the suspicious man came back with several guards.

With their cover officially blown, Sylvie could not help smiling as they started fighting, after so many hours of lying low. She had always been better at getting things done with her fists than with words. Evidently, though, Loki was still fairly drunk: he missed his target when he threw a dagger at her attacker, and he paused to give a comical farewell to the guard he had thrown out the window. That gave two others the chance to seize him and throw him out as well. And that meant Sylvie had to follow, not letting him get away with the TemPad.

Maybe falling from the train sobered Loki up, but it was too late: the crash had broken the TemPad beyond repair.

Sylvie lost her temper then. He had ruined everything, now—not only taken her off track, but ruined any chance she might have had of getting back there. When she mentioned her mission, he was derisive. "Your mission? Your 'glorious purpose'? Give me a break! You can't beat them."

It was like he was verbalizing all the doubts she had ever harbored. No one had ever told her so explicitly that her plan would fail, because she had never revealed it to anyone.

She turned away and let out a scream, along with a burst of magic from her hands, before sitting on the ground in defeat.

Since the day of her arrest, that TemPad had been her lifeline, the one possession she could not lose. She had spent most of her life clinging to it, guarding it from thieves and TVA agents.

Now, without it … she might actually not make it out of this apocalypse. She started to seriously contemplate the likelihood of her imminent death.

After a minute, Loki sat down next to her. He did not speak right away. When he did, he sounded humble, a little hesitant, maybe even contrite. "Did the … scream … make you feel better?" It could have been a sarcastic quip, but he looked at her expectantly, as though he really cared how she felt.

Since he was trying to be nice, Sylvie decided not to shut him out. She answered when he asked questions. She was out of ideas at this point, but he was still trying to think of a way out. Maybe it was a trait of Lokis to not give up easily, to keep trying. Or maybe it was just the fact that he had not dealt with these kinds of situations as much as she had.

He landed on one possibility: the ark that the train had been bound for. With their power, it might be possible for it to escape the crashing moon.

It certainly sounded easier to say than to do. But even if it failed, at least they would die trying. That seemed better than just waiting for the end to come. So, despite her skepticism, Sylvie agreed to this proposed plan.

If they succeeded, and made a change big enough to escape an apocalypse, it would surely create a nexus event. But even if the TVA showed up, being arrested would at least be a way to get out alive.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for such a long break between updates! I do have more chapters planned, I've just been busy with other projects and real life.

I think that Loki's song, titled "Very Full" on the series soundtrack, might be an "On the Willows" moment, like that described in Psalm 137:1-4 and put to music in Godspell. Originally I only meant to explore that scene in this chapter, but then I felt like I had to at least touch on the events before and after that. I didn't intend to rehash so much of the dialogue, but it was interesting to try to deduce Sylvie's thoughts and how they inform her actions.

Remaining updates should be up sooner and more regularly from now on!