Disclaimer: Remus and Gilderoy belong to J.K. Rowling
Author's Note: This was written in accordance with the "Gay Bar Challenge" on LiveJournal's SB/RL GloveSmack. Required items used: the first line, facial hair, something made of silk, a notebook, and a vial. Word Count: 1002 words (2 over the limit!)
Research
"I never thought I'd find you in a place like this," Remus said as he took a seat opposite the blond-haired wizard. "It might tarnish your public image to be seen in a gay bar."
"Public image?" the man repeated. "I'm afraid--you must have me confused with someone else." He smoothed his moustache nervously, as if checking that it was still in place.
"Come now, Gilderoy. The winner of Witch Weekly's 'Most Charming Smile Award'? And every time I pass Flourish and Blotts, I have to pass that life size poster of you on a fake broomstick, not to mention dozens of copies of your latest book with you grinning on the cover. If you want to be unrecognized, it'll take more than a fake moustache."
"All right," Lockhart replied, his smile replaced by a hard, calculating look. "How much?"
"Excuse me?" Remus laughed.
"For your silence. How much?"
"I'm not blackmailing you, Lockhart. I was just surprised to see a former schoolmate here. This isn't exactly The Leaky Cauldron."
"We went to school together?" Lockhart's brow wrinkled as he tried to place Remus's face.
"I was three years behind you, Gryffindor. There's no reason for you to remember me."
"No," Lockhart laughed. "Our two houses didn't mix."
"Not in any good ways, at least."
"But you remember me at school, of course. Quidditch team and all."
"You were a reserve player who never played." Remus considered listing what else he remembered about the young Gilderoy Lockhart. He had complained loudly to anyone who would listen that the prefect position had been given to Lucius Malfoy instead of himself simply because of Malfoy's family connections, and he had failed his Herbology N.E.W.T. because he was caught cheating. Instead, Remus merely said, "I remember that you didn't seem to get along with the other Slytherins."
"Well, I simply couldn't understand how bowing and scraping before You-Know-Who would further my literary career."
Mention of Lockhart's literary career brought to mind some of the more ridiculous passages in one of Lockhart's books; Remus had to smile. "I read Wanderings with Werewolves. I have to ask, the time that you used a Homorphus Charm to force a werewolf back into human form--"
"Yes?" Lockhart grinned eagerly and leaned forward.
"Are you sure it wasn't moonset? Because it wouldn't work. The Homorphus Charm will force an animagus back into human form, but it won't work on a werewolf."
"Of course it would."
"No, it wouldn't; trust me." They had all mastered the charm before his friends attempted the animagus transformation just in case one of them got "stuck," and James had insisted on trying it on Remus at the end of fifth year. They had temporarily eliminated the staircase within the Shrieking Shack. James stayed in human form on the upstairs landing, out of the frenzied wolf's reach, and repeatedly tried the charm on the wolf below. The spell had had no effect on Remus.
Lockhart's smile faltered slightly but returned full power. "My dear fellow, I do believe that I am the Defence expert here. How many books have you published?"
"None," Remus admitted.
Lockhart crossed his arms confidently and leaned back again. "There you are."
"But I have had articles published in The Dark Arts and You and in Defence Quarterly. I'm also one of the authors of the latest edition of A Beginners Guide to Defence Against the Dark Arts; it'll be coming out next spring."
"Yes, well, uh," Lockhart cleared his throat. "A Beginner's Guide--"not exactly in the same league as my works."
"Not even remotely," Remus agreed. "I write non-fiction."
"Would you like to come home with me?" Lockhart asked abruptly.
"Me?" Remus stared in surprise. He'd done nothing but bait the man since he sat down. Lockhart should be trying to get away from him, not asking him home. But, since Lockhart was asking him home-- he had come here looking for sex. Why not enjoy silk sheets-- he was quite certain that Lockhart would have silk sheets-- instead of up against a bathroom wall or in his dingy flat? And, it might be enjoyable to have sex with a wizard again. Certain charms could make sex rather interesting. "All right."
"So, uh--"
"Remus." Remus put aside the glass of beer that Gilderoy had given him. He didn't care for the taste; it was a touch too sweet. Lockhart probably liked it that way. He'd been drinking some grenadine-laced concoction at the bar.
"Remus, why don't you tell me about the time you encountered a werewolf?"
"The first time?" Remus asked without thinking. He tried to create a convincing lie, but all he could focus on was the night his life had irrevocably changed. He remembered the rain falling against his bedroom window and realizing that his teddy bear was still in the tree he'd climbed that afternoon. If Teddy became moldy, his mother might throw him away.
"You've met more than one?" Lockhart asked as he went to an elegant writing desk to fetch a notebook and a quill. Remus's mind flew forward several years to the first time he had to spend a full moon in a Ministry approved containment facility.
"Yes, I've met quite a few over the years." Remus knew that he hadn't meant to say that. He'd only had one drink at the bar; his mind shouldn't feel this sluggish.
Lockhart tapped the tip of the quill on the notebook and left it standing upright. "Then let's start with the first time you met a werewolf. Where was this?" The quill began to copy down Lockhart's words.
"In the woods behind my house. Mummy wouldn't let me out after dark, but if I stood on a chair, I could reach the keys on their hook." Remus's eyes grew wide as he realized that he couldn't stop himself from telling the story.
Lockhart merely smiled and pulled an empty vial from his pocket. "Yes, Veritaserum. What happened next?"
--Written June 2004