Okay, there's less action this chapter, but the last two teams are set up and we get a bit of a plot twist. Enjoy!
Technicolor Tex, Finder and Clip got together after the world trip, but they kept it a secret. Naturally, everyone knows.
Nukerjsr, that wasn't Hammerface but a clone of his cousin Battaxetra, who was never encountered by Lilo and Stitch but was captured by Gantu.
…
Deep beneath the earth, in a secret bunker, a transaction of evil was taking place.
A tall, lean alien wearing a suitcase was escorted into the room. "Do you have the goods?" he asked.
Osama Bin Laden, currently the evilest man on Earth, gestured. A crate was opened by his henchman, revealing millions of coffee beans. "Three million coffee beans, as promised. More than enough to make you rich on the galactic black market. Now where's my weapon?"
The alien opened his suitcase and tossed a device to the terrorist. "Here you go, one high-yield plasma explosive. Packs enough punch to level an entire city with no nasty radioactive side effects."
Osama cackled. "Excellent! Now the United States and the former Bush administration will pay for driving me into hiding!" He nodded to his henchmen, who picked up the crate. "My men will escort you and your payment back to your ship."
The alien nodded. "A pleasure doing business with you." He turned to leave the room when suddenly a loud digital rendition of "Jingle Bells" could be heard. "What the hell?"
Osama looked up and saw a very startled black man frantically trying to turn off his cell phone in the rafters. "We've been discovered!"
The alien drew out a hiss of breath. "It's Agent Cobra Bubbles! Kill him!"
The goons dropped the crate and shot Cobra full of bullets with their machine guns. He spat up blood, staggered and fell from the rafters. His last thought before he hit the ground was, I knew I forgot to set my phone to vibrate…
…
"Hello? Hello?" Jumba shrugged and hung up the phone. "There is being no answer."
Nani sighed. "I guess we won't be getting help from the FBI, then."
After Hamsterviel and Team Stitch's departure, they had all come back to the Pelekai household, including the seven experiments that had managed to evade capture. Angel, Clip, and Finder had located a good hiding place when the clone troops proved to be too much to handle, while Kixx and his group had been safe thanks to their invisibility. Arnold had also survived, but only because he hadn't wanted to come to the reunion in the first place and had in fact broken into the house during all the commotion and was found raiding the fridge when everyone got back. They had just tried to contact Cobra Bubbles to help get back Lilo, with no success.
"Maybe the Galactic Federation should handle this," Pleakley suggested. "After all, Hamsterviel escaped from their prison. It's their responsibility to capture him. Besides, we're not allowed to leave Earth, so it's in their jurisdiction now."
"Yes, but if the Federation is getting into this, they will be destroying all the experiments Hamsterviel has captured, not to mention 221, 608, and 626. Earth is the only safe haven for them, off-world they are being fair game," Jumba pointed out.
"What other choice do we have? We have to get Lilo back!" said Nani desperately.
Jumba mused. "I may be having an idea…but perhaps you are being right, we should try the Federation first. The Grand Councilwoman is being our friend, perhaps she can find a loophole to get my experiments back safely."
Jumba quickly set up his communications equipment and sent a call out to space. But the visage that appeared on the comm. screen was not the warm, familiar face of the Grand Councilwoman, but the face of a female of Jumba's species with large red hair. Her face soured when she saw Jumba's face. "Oh, it's you."
Jumba blinked. "Eh? Ex-wife? I must have dialed wrong number, I am looking for Grand Councilwoman," he said, reaching for the cutoff switch.
"In that case, you are coming to the right place. I am being the Grand Councilwoman."
Jumba stared at his ex for a moment. "WHAAAAAAT?!"
"You heard me! I am being the new Grand Councilwoman!" said the ex-wife happily.
"But…but…how?!"
"The elections were just last month. I won by revealing all of my predecessor's lenient dealings with illegal genetic experiments, and promising to make a zero-tolerance policy against all such experiments. The public ate it up, and now I am being leader of the galaxy. Not bad, eh?"
Jumba shook his head. "I cannot be believing-" He froze. "Wait…did you say zero-tolerance…"
"That's right! The legislation is going through as we are speaking. Once it is passing, I'll be able to destroy all of those despicable little experiments of yours once and for all!" She then gave a pretty good evil laugh, no doubt obtained from her marriage to Jumba.
"But you can't do that!" Pleakley protested. "Earth has been named a reservation for experiments and mosquitoes! You can't touch the experiments as long as they're on this planet!"
"True, but only until this legislation is passed. Then they are all being fair game. And as for mosquitoes…" She shrugged. "Who is caring about some lousy insects? Not the citizens of the galaxy, that's for sure! They are worrying more about bloodthirsty monsters created by some mad scientist that would be killing their children in their sleep."
"That is being nothing but lies!" yelled Jumba. "My experiments would never kill children in their sleep! They would wake them up first."
Ex-wife shrugged. "The citizens of the galaxy are not knowing or caring about that, and neither am I to be honest. All that is being important is destroying those experiments before they can be hurting anyone else."
"They have not even hurt anyone to begin with!" Jumba protested.
"The citizens of the galaxy are not knowing that either." She looked at her watch. "Now if you will be excusing me, I must be attending an important meeting. I'll be coming with the extermination team in person to see the look on your face as they are destroying your precious creations before your eyes." She hung up.
Jumba pounded a fist on the table. "That bitch! I am not knowing why I ever married her!"
"I thought it was for her money," said Arnold as he walked in from the kitchen carrying a tray of sandwiches.
"Oh yes, now I am remembering."
"Why does she hate us so much?" Angel asked as she accepted one of 625's sandwiches.
"Partly because her religion is being prejudiced against genetics, partly because male experiments were always making lewd comments at her," he said with a glare at 625, who didn't look like he cared. Angel and Clip snickered until Jumba said, "And partly because female experiments were always calling her rude and insulting names."
The girls winced. "Oh yeah…"
"So what do we do now?" asked Pleakley, taking another sandwich. "I mean, now we've got two problems to worry about, Lilo and this extermination!"
Jumba had calmed down somewhat from his fury at his ex-wife and had already thought of a solution. "Extermination can be solved easily. All we are having to do is evacuate the experiments from the island."
"Evacuate?" asked Nani in confusion.
"Yes. I am knowing of a nice planet we can go to that is being untouched by the Federation. We can all be living out the rest of our days there in peace. We will collect all the remaining experiments on the island and go to that planet. 626 will rescue Little Girl and other experiments and meet us there." He looked at Nani. "You'll have to come too. They'll probably destroy you for being contaminated by us."
"How will Stitch know to come to this new planet?" asked Angel.
"Well, since his cruiser's communication system was getting damaged last week and I never fixed it, you'll have to tell him," said Jumba.
Angel was surprised. "Me? Why me?"
He shrugged. "Somebody has to. Might as well be you. Anyway, we should probably be checking on my idea to help Little Girl." Jumba put a computer that looked exactly like the one that had been stolen on the table.
"Didn't Hamsterviel take that?" asked Pleakley.
"I am having a spare." He turned it on and started typing. "The computer Hamsterviel took is having all my experiment data, but it is also having one other thing…" He turned the screen to the group to reveal a CGI spider. "My digital experiment, 499!"
"Hi!" said Hacker.
"If Hamsterviel has 499, then what's she doing here?" asked Arnold.
"When the doc plugged my computer into his systems to download the experiment data, I slid into his mainframe undetected and started absorbing all the information I could find. I transmitted myself back here using E-mail to tell Jumba what I found out," explained Hacker.
Jumba smiled. "You are being a good computer virus. What can you tell us about Little Girl?"
"Lilo was teleported to Hamsterviel's secret base soon after they went into hyperspace. I haven't had enough time in his databanks to find out where it is or what they have in mind for her, but I can tell you for certain that he's currently heading for planet Urb to pick up a huge supply of urbinium," said Hacker.
"What's urbinium?" asked Nani.
"It's spaceship fuel. Think of it as Earth gasoline, but nonpolluting and much more efficient," Pleakley explained.
"What could Hamsterviel be wanting with all that fuel?" Jumba wondered.
"I couldn't tell you, but I do know that he's heading for the resort space station Paradise Vega after he's got his urbinium. I don't know why though."
"Hmm…" Jumba stroked his chin. "499, would it be being possible for you to sabotage Hamsterviel's systems somehow?"
Hacker shook her head. "No, his virus protection software is too powerful. I can slip by it easily to steal a little data here and there, but if I do something big and direct like shutting down life support or changing his hyperdrive course, I'll be tracked down and deleted."
Jumba nodded. "All right then. Here's what we're going to do. Pleakley and I will go hunting for experiments and prepare to evacuate before the extermination squad arrives. In the meantime, 624 will go and tell 626 of our plans for a new world, and I suppose she can be helping him in his fight against Hamsterviel while she's at it."
"I'll need Finder to help me locate Stitch, since we can't communicate with him directly. Will that hinder your hunting?" asked Angel.
Jumba shook his head. "No, Little Girl and I completed a locator spell just a few days ago. It is working on the same principle as 158's nose, but only for experiment pods." Finder looked miffed at being replaced, but said nothing.
Angel was thoughtful. "I'd better take Clip too. If anti-experiment sentiments have been pumped up as bad as your ex-wife says they have, we can't let anyone identify us. Clip is pretty good at making disguises, aren't you Clip?" Clip nodded in agreement.
Jumba shrugged. "Okay, you can take them both with you." He turned to Kixx, Houdini, and Dracula, who were lounging about. "Now, how would you three like to be working on a secret mission?"
They looked interested. "Ih," said Kixx.
"Ih," said Dracula.
"Naga," said Houdini. Everyone glared at her. She shrank under all those eyes. "I-Ih."
Jumba was pleased. "Good. Now, here is what you will be doing." He handed Kixx a communicator. "While 624 and her team are assisting 626, you three will be aiding them from the shadows. This communicator will keep you in contact with 499 while she is hacking through Hamsterviel's files. She will be able to keep you up-to-date on his plans so you will know how to be sabotaging them while the other two teams are keeping Hamsterviel occupied."
"I look forward to working with you guys. Now I'd better head back to Hamsterviel's ship, I don't want to miss anything." Hacker vanished back into the vastness of the Internet.
"Hey, what about me?" asked Arnold.
"You will be remaining here while Pleakley and I are out. It is being your duty to take care of Big Girl," said Jumba.
"Hey, that's not fair! Couldn't you leave me with someone more competent?" Nani begged.
"But I am needing Pleakley!" Jumba protested.
"You are?" Pleakley said hopefully.
"Well, a little."
"Can't I at least have David come over? I trust him more than this guy!" Nani pleaded.
Jumba thought for a moment. "Well…okay. But 625, you are still to be guarding Big Girl with your life, understand?"
"Yeah, whatever. Hey, what's on TV?" Arnold turned the television on. Jumba shook his head in disgust.
…
A few hours later, the six were set to go. They were leaving in Gantu's old excursion vehicle, which had been tooled up for space travel. It even had a hyperdrive, weapons, and slightly more space. They waved to their family as they blasted off, leaving Earth behind.
"So where to from here, Hack?" Kixx asked the communicator.
"Doctor H and our buddies are three quarters of the way to Urb by now. You'd never get there in time. You should probably head for Paradise Vega so you can get ready for the doc and Stitch's arrival in advance," said Hacker.
"Gotcha." He turned off the communicator. "You hear that, Dracula? We're going to Paradise Vega."
"Hai, Kixx-sama." The ninja wannabe punched in the coordinates, and they left the solar system faster than the speed of light.
Houdini cowered in her seat. "Hyperdrive seems dangerous. Can't we go any slower?"
"If we went any slower, it would take us over a thousand years to get there," explained Finder.
"Oh."
A silence hung over the group. "So, what do you guys want to do until we get there?" asked Angel.
"Oh, I know!" said Clip. "Let's play I Spy! I spy something with my little eye that's long and bright!"
"Is it an object we're passing so fast in hyperdrive that it looks like a streak of light?" asked Kixx.
"You're right! Now it's your turn."
"Okay. Um, I spy with my little eye something that's…long and bright."
"Is it an object we're passing so fast in hyperdrive it looks like a streak of light?" asked Finder.
Kixx scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess it was kind of obvious…"
Angel groaned. She could already tell this would be a long ride.
Twin stars have risen in the sky. Team Angel and Team Kickass are ready for action!
…
Well, I hope this chapter answered a question or two. Next time we'll see Team Stitch in action!
But first, let's hear Team Angel's theme song:
…
Anywhere you wanna go.
Anything you want to know.
All the best in life,
I want to get for you!
Really, I just feel so fine.
I imagine that you're mine.
You're my world,
I'm your gold.
I only want to protect you.
Whatever I want, I get!
I want, shooting stars!
Whatever I need, I have!
When I'm with you.
Follow me inside, outside!
Through the stratosphere!
The moon is shining for you,
It knows that I adore you!
Suddenly all the sadness,
Will just slip away.
And you will see what I mean,
If you just follow me in my dream!
I was searching everywhere.
Suddenly, I saw you there.
And my love arrived,
Just in the nick of time.
Life floats on a movie screen.
You're the star of my scene.
Live on the edge of a knife,
Larger than life!
Whatever I want, I get!
I want, shooting stars!
Whatever I need, I have!
When I see your face!
Follow me inside, outside!
Through the stratosphere!
The moon is shining for you.
It knows that I adore you!
Suddenly all the sadness
Will just slip away!
And you will see what I mean,
If you just follow me in my dream!
…
That was an expression of Angel's feelings for Stitch, in case you didn't get it. It could also be interpreted as Finder and Clip's feelings for each other, but either way it's nice and romantic right?
Now, here's Team Kickass's theme:
…
Team Kickass.
Once upon a time
You could be a bad guy
And live to see the day.
But now, you'd never manage,
Boy, you'd be brain damaged
Just to think that you could get away!
This power has arrived in a dream team!
A force where one and one and one makes three!
And when the trail goes cold,
And lies have been told,
This crew will find and be what you can't see!
Yeah!
Danger roars when the wimpy bunny cowers,
And the phony ninja stars fly!
The muscle is Kixx,
The kickboxing champion,
And is sworn to fry!
Team Kickass!
They're warriors you want on your side!
Team Kickass!
They're stealthy "ninjas" tracking down your crime!
Come along for the fun ride!
Truth can run but cannot hide!
For all, the game is on, Now!
Remember when stealin'
Used to be a good dealin'?
When the crooked life would always pay?
Well, now that the team's in town,
They all go underground.
But, it's a worry to this very day.
A challenge has been issued
By the Hamster!
This mission's gonna need them all!
And though our hope grow thin,
And the outlook is grim,
These three are gonna heed the call!
Yeah!
Houdini's thing
Is hiding from the first sting
As the purple one charges!
Dracula is clearly ready to go!
I doubt they'll do you wrong!
Team Kickass!
They're warriors you want on your side!
Team Kickass!
They're warriors tracking down your crime!
Come along for the ride!
Truth can run, but cannot hide!
For all the game is on!
Team Kickass!
Stitch Heroes! What's your problem please?
Team Kickass!
Stitch Heroes! Gonna make the outlaws bleed!
There's now way you could win!
Team Kickass!
If it's trouble you're in!
Kickass!
They're gonna kick your ass!
TEAM KICKASS!
…
Well, that took a lot of work to edit. Hope you enjoyed it!