A/N: Even though I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter at FF.net, it only makes me want things to make things better quicker. And it will- in the next chapter. This chapter is a filler but things will get flufferific in the next one. This one though is great in it's own way though. It has all my favorite things: Weiss, Donnovan, Marshall and Shirtless!Vaughn! (Yes, color me shallow.) If only there was a baby, this would be great chapter; but there's the whole Syd in a coma thing that kinda makes that difficult... Anyways, enjoy four out of the five.
Archive: Fanfiction.net, COVERme and Allies. Anywhere else, please e-mail me at bubbicup@hotmail. ;)
Dedication: Michael Vartan's abs. Lol. Just kidding. :P The nice reviewers at Allies. Muah..
Disclaimer: If I did, scripts would be based on the fanfic of the greats. (The greats being those in my fav. author list.. :P)
+Chapter 4: Regret+
It's about noon now and the room's silence is almost shattered when Weiss walks into the room. Almost shyly, he knocks on the door. He has a bag of takeout in one hand and places it on a table and sits in the chair next to me. I mumble a hello as he stares at Syd with a grim expression.
"How is she?"
I don't answer him but he understands with the shake of my head.
"How are you?"
I think about my response before I answer him. "I'm good." I say unconvincingly. I know he can see right through me. I don't even know why I try to lie to him anymore.
"You know, that's the biggest bull I've ever heard." He says laughing lightly but puts on another straight face. He's studying me in a way that almost could be considered analyzing. "Look Mike, don't blame yourself again."
"That's what Rick said too."
"The dweeb from Tech Ops.? I didn't know he had it in him... Did he program someone to say it or did he hack into Yahoo Personals and e-mail it to you?"
I know this is his sad attempt to cheer me up so I smirk for his benefit. "Rick, you been around any computers lately?"
"I can't say I have." He calls from behind the curtain. Weiss looks around frantically before Rick sits up in his bed. He looks at Weiss a little coldly. "I'm having a talk with Devlin when I get out of here."
I smile a little. "This is Rick. He's a little unhappy about the agency since he left it about thirty, forty years ago?" I say lightly.
I just surprised myself. I told a joke. Wow.
All through this conversation, Weiss looks at me hurt, that someone else took his role in life. "I can see I'm not wanted here," He says sadly. I start to say that he should stay but he tells me he has work and he's still in debrief. I don't ask him what for but before he gets up, he takes a book out of his jacket pocket and hands it to me. "Until Syd graces us with her presence..."
I take the book and thank him genuinely. "Take care of yourself okay?" He call as he gets up to leave. "And call me when- uh.." He trails off but I nod understanding exactly what he means.
-=-=-=-
Even though nothing has been moved since I was last here, my house looks different. I dreaded coming back here even though I couldn't figure out why. Somehow, Rick convinced me to go home and get some sleep and promised to yell at anyone who stayed too long with Sydney. I find myself smirking at thought of him and Jack. Dixon couldn't get me to go home. Jack couldn't do it and Eric knew well enough to not bother trying. Of all people, Rick was the one who made me feel safe enough to leave Sydney.
As I turn the key in the keyhole, I immediately hear barking. Suddenly, I remember Donnovan and lock the door again so I can go around through the backyard. As if on cue, Donnovan comes rushing up to greet me, jumping as high as he can reach, which is sadly just above my kneecap. I bend down and let him lick my face smoothing his fur back. After not seeing me for about week, he still forgives me.
"If only it were that easy." I mummer
I pull apart from him and go to unlock the back door. I pat my side, beckoning him to follow but he stays back scared. Lauren hated Donnovan and he stayed chained up in the backyard for fear of ruining her beautiful home. He's practically been programmed to stay outside and threatened otherwise. I go over and pick him up with one arm and grab his bowl with the other. I set both of them down on the kitchen tile but even though he's inside, he's still is unconvinced that Lauren won't come after him with a broom. Seeing him like this makes me feel horrible- more than I already feel. I bend down again.
"Lauren's gone now, Donny. We can go back to the way it used to be." He looks at me, perplexed. "Do you understand, boy?" He responds by licking my hand.
I get up to look around. In every corner, there's something of Lauren's. Even working for the NSC and moonlighting as an agent for the Covenant didn't stop her from keeping the house spick and span. I reach into the fridge to grab a soda. When I finish it, I put it on the counter. Stepping back to admire my work, a thought goes through my head.
"Ha. Take that Lauren."
Everything looks new to me as I roam around the house aimlessly and stop when I reach our room. I go in and look around and feel as if I'm looking at everything through a different perspective. When I pass her vanity, I take off my ring and fling it onto the surface. Won't be needing that anymore.
I can't get my mind off of how stupid I was- giving up on Sydney so quickly and leaving her memory for someone who couldn't even come close to comparing with her. If Sydney could forgive me for all that's happened, that's all I'll need.
Looking in the mirror I can hardly recognize myself. Syd used to say that I was strong person but I didn't see it in my reflection. I had changed the shirt I was wearing earlier but I could still see the feel Sydney's blood on me. Exasperated, I peel off the shirt throwing it on the ground before undressing and turning on the shower. When I get out, nothing's going to change; the blood will still be on me but I convince myself to try- at least for Sydney.
Before I come out of the bathroom, I remember to shave, the wistful memory of her protesting once that my stubble hurt her. With a slight smile, I reenter the room I hearing Donnovan padding towards me and by the looks of it, he's overcome his fear. When he gets to me, he starts jumping around like a puppy begging me to play with him. When I shake my head, he doesn't let up so defeated as I am, I make a grab for him and like I predicted he darts away; first behind the dresser and finally under the bed.
Though I'm tired of this game, I know that he deserves it so I play along. I reach out under the bed where I can see his glowing eyes but being one step ahead of me, he fumbles around trying to get out from under the bed and in the process, knocking over and scattering the few things under the bed. I almost scold him before I realize that it's okay now.
I grab a flashlight from a drawer and when I bend down to start cleaning up a few things, something catches my eye; a box that I hadn't see in the longest time. It's a simple brown box and since I can't seem to remember the last time I saw it, it's covered with a thin layer of dust. I reach over to pick it up and lie back on the side of the bed to examine it. I blow away some of the dust and only then does it hit me exactly what this box is.
"Good job, Donny." I say ruffling his fur. After refilling his dish, I grab a jacket and head out the door.
-=-=-=-
As I approach Sydney's room, I hear a voice inside, faint and excited. It only takes another moment to realize that it's Marshall.
"After the purification, this button... Right over.. here, does the rest for you! Now don't get it confused with this button; this button-" He stops when he sees me in the doorway but for once, I actually want to see him explain the strange gadget he has on Sydney's nightstand.
"Mr. Vaughn! I- uh.. was just leaving.. Don't mind me." He picks up his jacket and stands up.
"You don't to leave Marshall. And I told you to call me Michael."
He looks at me nervously. "I don't think you want me to stick around.. you know especially when-" He trails off. I nod my head as he walks towards the door, avoiding my eyes. I don't let myself try to wonder why this is.
He stops at the door. "Oh! Rick, that nice gentleman went off for a stroll in courtyard. He told me to tell you." I nod again and there's an awkward silence between us. "So I'll see you at work?"
I raise my eyebrows a little. "Or not... Bye." He darts out of the room before I can say anything else.
With the exception of Rick and a few more gifts, nothing in the room has changed. But to me, it doesn't matter much. I sit down on the chair next to the bedside and take Sydney's hand in mine. Taking the box into my lap, my eyes meet with her face. Though it's emotionless, I know that some part of her can hear me. With a trembling hand, I open the lid of the box.
"Syd.. There's a few things I want to show you..."
TBC
A/N: Gasp! The first cliffhanger of the fic! (I think...) You guy will love the box.. I love the box. Heck, I wanted to write an entire fic about the box! Lol.. If the next chapter isn't up by Saturday, then finally enjoy a new episode and I'll be back on Monday. ;) Oh and the golden rule kiddies? I read, therefore I must review. (I know it's not a rule, shush!)
