A/N: Long awaited, (well at least by about eight people anyway) chapter of this ficie is finally here! As largemarge416 put it, it's finally time for The Talk. (Yes, it's in caps.) I apologize to those who enjoy this fic and wanted to know why the fuzzy I didn't update for so long. Can we hug and make it better? I mainly wanted to avoid the inevitable fluff in this chap because I was kinda down cause of some loser. I wrote another fic, (One Step Back, link's in my profile) and made myself feel a little better. When I sat down to write this it was all kinds of crappy but the loser and I talked and let's just say he isn't a loser anymore... ;) I dunno what to do to make it up to you guys, but since Savvy gave me a cookie and me feel all nice and fuzzy, I'm giving you all cookies too. :puts cookies down and leaves the room bowing:
Archive: FF.net, COVERme, French Mafia and Allies. Ask and you shall receive.
Dedication: Ms. Vaughn, (someone actually reads them! gasp!) The old gang, (You know who you are and I heart you more than words can say.. I heart you more than MV even! And that's a lot.) an the new reviewers that came in in the last chapter, (glad you lurve it and you're more than welcome to review as often as you like..) I loved each and every piece of feedback this much: [stretches out arms] Lurkers, (giving this a fic a chance is great of you even though you if don't review. Naughty!) I do this for you guys.
Soundtrack: I don't usually listen to her but, "The First Cut is the Deepest" by Sheryl Crow. Pretty song and great description of what's going on. If this were in Syd's POV, it would be perfect.
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias, but Alias owns me- or at least the marketing department and MV do. :P
+Chp. 8 - First Cut+
At this point, I am all but too confused. The last time we talked, I was convinced that I was on my way to the big CIA headquarters in the sky and now he was acting as if we actually knew one another. Before today, I didn't know Jack was capable of human emotion. With another wry smile directed towards me, I watch Jack turn his back on us and left the room and for the first time in a while, I wanted to go ahead and leave with him.
It's really saying something if I choose time with Jack Bristow over- well, anything. This was the moment I had waited for with the utmost eagerness and yet it was a moment I dreaded more than anything. Somehow, I will myself to turn around and I don't know what I'm expecting. I'd seen Sydney a few days ago but somehow, I sensed this was different. My breath catches in my throat when I finally see Sydney though.
I expected her to be angry. I expected structural damage, impotency, but not this, because when I turn around, to my surprise, she has the most amazing grin on her face; one I hardly recognized. She hadn't smiled like this since that night in front of her apartment. Despite my own efforts, a small smile creeps up on my own face and suddenly, I feel sixteen again.
"Hey." she says softly.
"Hey."
If it wasn't official, it is now.
She looks at me curiously and it take all my strength to not turn and run away from confrontation such as this. I take Jack's empty seat beside her bed, careful to scoot as far away as possible without her knowing. To my surprise, she doesn't seem to notice it, instead she is turned the other way to her nightstand, reaching to grab something. The picture frame. Another pimple pops up on my nose.
She smiles again, running her fingers over the smooth surface. "Remember this?" I nod, almost blushing. "You were such a dictator and we couldn't let it get to your head that you actually had power.." she says laughing softly.
When I don't react, she continues to speak. "Seeing it is I didn't have much to do, I was looking over some things people brought."
By impulse, my eyes widen when I realize what she's talking about. The ring box. "Syd-"
"My dad told me what happened; or rather 'filled me in.'"
"How does Jack-?"
"I yelled at him for a couple of hours but apparently that's not a good idea with a tube jammed down your throat."
I have no clue what the hell she's talking about.. Am I suppose to? She notices the confusion on my face. "Vaughn.. It's not your fault."
Oh. That's what she's talking about.
"I don't think we should get into that right now; you're tired and need you're sleep, Syd."
She shakes her head smiling. "Always taking care of me... When was the last time you slept?" Before I have a chance to talk, she cuts me off again. "I had a chat with Eric too." She pauses to look at me, "I think we should talk about some things."
I look down into my lap. "There's nothing to talk about." I mumble.
"I think we have a lot to talk about." Pause. "I know you blame yourself, Vaughn."
I want to scream something along the lines of, "Duh!" but I don't. I can't bring myself to meet her eyes again. I can feel her strong gaze despite it.
"See? Nothing to talk about." I say a sarcastic smile on my face. When she doesn't return my sentiments, I grow serious again. "I screwed up so much this time. I was ignorant and it almost got you killed- your dad was right."
"You saved my life." she in another soft voice.
When I don't answer her she reaches over and takes my hand. A sudden warmth shoots out throughout my body and it takes all my will power to not take it back. The first real, (conscious) Sydney-Michael moment in two years isn't suppose to be like this. Thinking of doing this in the past set me on week-long guilt trips but it never stopped me from dreaming. Knowing all about the real Lauren makes that guilt a waste of what could have been a week of bliss.
There's a new kind of guilt now, and it's all Sydney.
"Do you know how often my dad's right?" I open my mouth to counter but she stops me gently. "Really right. No one can truly judge this situation except us: you and me."
"I knew the truth all along, Vaughn- there were doubts, yes; but no matter the obstacle, I knew what we had can't- It can't just end."
"It never will, Syd." I say softly. "You're so amazing," I say. I let my other hand caress her face lightly as traces of a smile line her lips. "But God, you deserve so much more..."
I look up and meet her eyes for the first time in the conversation and those soft brown eyes tell me she wants to protest, but I continue. "Back when I was your handler, I walked on eggshells trying to protect you. I think I've threatened and hurt more people in that time period than I have in my whole life put together."
For the light humor, I receive a small smile and for a moment, I almost forget where I'm going with this.
"I didn't matter though. The one thing I couldn't possibly keep you from was myself. I put you into those dangers and now this..." I said indicating to the bed.
She answers in another soft voice, "I don't want to be kept from you."
A moment after she says this, I realize what she means by this and quickly shake my head. "After all this, how could you-?"
When I look over to her, she doesn't meet my eye. Instead she finds an interesting spot on her blanket to stare at while I trial off. Almost a minute passes before she speaks in a tone that is, to my surprise, neither angry or strained. "What do you think about pre-destination?"
I'm taken aback for a moment, unsure of the sudden change in topic. "What do you mean? Like you're meant to be something in life?"
"I read about that for a paper once. I don't believe in that." I look at her confused again, waiting for her to expand. "I think fate is a better theory- some things need to happen in order for other events to occur."
I felt myself smile. "So when does reality start and fate end?"
She has a genuine smile on her face now as she takes my hand and brings is to her face. She leaves a delicate kiss on my fingers.
"It doesn't."
-=-=-=-=-
Weiss threw another chip at me, trying to get me to pay attention. In return, I threw him a dirty glance. What was he, five? His table manners weren't better.
"Then?"
"Then that's it." I say confused. What more does he want? A Broadway Musical?.
"C'mon, you got to give me more than that."
"But that's all that happened!"
"What about Jack?"
I was starting to get frustrated with all of these questions. "We skipped and lived happily ever after." I said mumbling.
"He actually admitted to being wrong?"
"Sydney's very convincing."
"Not to mention scary as hell..." He retorts. When I shoot him a dark look, he raises his hands up in retreat. "I call 'em like I see 'em." Just when I think we're about to go into silence, he speaks again.
"That's really all you have to say about your father-in-law?" He says with a smile.
"He's not father-in-law." I say flatly.
Eric's smile now rivals the Cheshire Cat's. "But you want him to be."
"No I want what comes before he becomes my father-in-law." I say mischievously.
He laughs heartily. Though Weiss wasn't my choice companion, I'd have to admit he's been supportive through these past few weeks- That and I'd prefer him to Mallory. My "assistant" had been running in and out of the room, running Eric's errands and carrying out his orders. He complains that it's hardly fair that I get an assistant and for some reason is confused as to why his request for another secretary didn't come through yet.
My desk phone rings and I quickly pick it up making sure Mallory doesn't have chance to come in and try her new and improved greeting speech.
"Vaughn."
"It's me," the voice on the other line says.
Ah, Jack Bristow. In the flesh.
I guess you can call an unspoken truce. Since that day in Sydney's room three days ago, Jack has been treating me with more respect than usual. I rather not question why; all I know he accepts that we're in this together because of Sydney.
"I thought I should let you know that Sydney's release time got moved up to six."
I nod and make a mental note. "I'll be there around five." An awkward pause. "Uh.. See you Jack."
"Of course."
This is still all too new for me. I hang up the phone as quickly as I picked it up. When I look up from my sandwich, Weiss greets me with a big stupid grin. I raise my eyebrows, wondering what was so amusing.
"You guys are bonding already.."
A/N: Aww.. You gotta love that Weiss. :D The end is near! (Because so are my AP tests and SAT's) Sniff.. I gonna miss you guys! Review like crazy and tell me what you thought about The Talk, Vack, our teddy bear or anything... Then go to my profile, click on One Step Back and read and review that like crazy. I don't ask for much... LoL :P
Here's the lyrics for "The First Cut is the Deepest" in case you haven't heard it. Download this! (Legally of course..)
I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
