Summary: James and Lily Potter are shadows of Harry's past. Mere echoes. Everyone's favorite characters that aren't really there. But once, they were so full of life and love that it's hard to believe they're gone. James and Lily have their own story to tell. Discover the true roots of Harry Potter. Go back…to The Beginning.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any exclusive rights to the Harry Potter world, its characters or its charm. I do however, have a deep love for them…and have chosen to express that love in this story. Hope you enjoy.

The Beginning

By Rebecca

Dreams and Indecision

Lily never made it to that date the next night with James to go flying again…and to tell the truth, he was relieved. The events of the past few evenings had left him quite unhinged. Guilt consumed him as he thought of what could have happened to Lily in the forest that night. She'd never have been put in danger if he hadn't insisted she learn to fly. What the hell was he thinking? If anything happened to her...He thought it best to stay away for a while. Besides…she was still recovering in the hospital wing…Amos clinging to her cot.

The Marauders were getting nervous. Never had James seemed so distracted. And it wasn't as if they couldn't function without him…but it was a hell of a lot less interesting. Severus Snape tripped over a Hufflepuff's scarf in the hallway on the way to Arithmancy the following Monday…and James had done nothing! Sirius gaped at him open-mouthed as James continued his trek to class in a daze. "Prongs, you all right?"

James straightened up and yawned, "yeah why?"

Sirius stopped in the middle of the corridor, black eyed and shocked, "Snape? Arch enemy? Tripped in the hallway?…right in front of you?"

He chuckled a bit, "really? Sorry mate, didn't see."

"Obviously," Sirius mumbled. He was about to suggest a plan of action. A way to remedy their missed opportunity but James just walked away still distracted. Still dazed.

Sirius sighed as Remus came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. They watched as James flatly ignored a few cooing girls he was passing. "I don't know how much more of this I can take," Sirius said. Remus just smiled.

It was the stag. He had come for her. She clung to his massive neck as he carried her to where Amos was waiting. She was safe now...standing before the familiar castle doors. But she didn't dismount...she didn't let go...she didn't want to...

Lily shook awake, breathing rapidly as she glanced out the stone window. The sun had nearly risen, but she hadn't slept a wink that night. She hadn't been able to sleep for several nights actually. The same dream now. Six times. Each a little different. Sometimes Amos was there, sometimes not, but it always ended with the same raw need to stay with the stag. Growing stronger each night.

She couldn't begin to describe how it felt to be carried off by the mystical creature. Never had she had dreams this vivid…this prophetic. As if the thoughts weren't her own. But even more unsettling was the fact that these new emotions seemed inexplicably linked to James Potter. He was somehow connected, involved, yet Lily couldn't possibly imagine how. She could barely look at him anymore without stumbling or shivering or fighting off the terrible aching in her stomach when he'd pass by. What did it mean? She hated to think there was a part of her that blamed him for what had happened in the forest. As if it was his fault for teaching her to fly in the first place. She was sure that wasn't it...but what then?

The prefect meetings were unbearable. She nearly forgot to help plan the rest of the transportation for the Hogs Meade trip. She hadn't mounted a broom since the night of her accident. And Dumbledore had asked them both several times for updates on the plans for the holiday ball and they'd given him next to nothing. To make matters worse, (or better…Lily couldn't honestly say which) James seemed to be avoiding her as well. Save for the few civil conversations they were occassionally forced to have during school hours, things were very quiet between the head boy and girl. Everoyne noticed it. No one said a word.

Things continued on like this for James and Lily for quite a while. The tiny beginnings of a friendship they had started on the Quidditch field had all but disappeared. The Hogs Meade trip came and went…Lily decided not to even attend, favoring a nice quiet evening with Amos whom she'd been spending more time with lately. Lily didn't go to the Slytherin/Gryffindor game right after Halloween and James had stopped pranking and teasing at their rather stiff meetings. It wasn't until the beginning of November that they were finally approached by Albus Dumbledore.

"I must say Miss Evans, Mr. Potter. I'm rather disappointed in the lack of order demonstrated here. The ball is only a month away and we've afforded the students a considerable amount of freedom to make it the celebration they want…with your leadership. I must ask that you put aside all other duties for now and find a way to work together."

The lecture was met with brief nods, not at all reminiscent of the spunk or energy both had shown at the beginning of the year. Dumbledore frowned, regarding his head boy and girl. "Dismissed," he sighed.

James walked out slightly behind Lily, both seemingly content in the uncomfortable silence they'd fallen into. He watched as waves of auburn swayed side to side as she walked, her head focused on the ground. He sighed, closing as his eyes envisioning the image of that same hair flowing in the wind as she flew across the field…and then later as her hair shimmered in the moonlight. He opened his eyes again. They had almost reached the common room.

Lily spoke the password and they stepped inside, the room nearly empty, a fire blazing in the hearth. She sighed as she plopped down to the sofa. James cautiously set himself on the coffee table in front of her. The silence steadily continued. He couldn't take it any longer.

"So um…" he started, "Sorry 'bout all this."

Lily looked up and eyed him curiously, "Sorry about what?"

"Well…getting us in trouble with Dumbledore."

"Oh James, I've put this whole…ball thing off just as much as you have. Let's just…plan something concrete and be done with it you know? I don't even want to go."

At that, James leaned back, mildly stunned. "I thought you would be looking forward to it…goin' with…Diggory and everything," he added in a mumble.

Lily looked down and blushed as she shrugged, "I guess."

James gulped hard. Passing up the opportunity to talk rapidly about plans she had with her fiancée? Just what he was afraid of. She hated him. Blamed him. He'd been right to stay away.

But what she said next, shocked him, "By the way…I'm uh…sorry I never made it to that…flying…date…thing," she added quietly.

James's eyes flew up, "Are you mad? Lily, you were in the hospital wing!"

"I know, but-"

"It's my fault you were there in the first place!" He couldn't believe it. She was sorry?

Lily stopped short and stared and him blankly, "What?"

"If I hadn't insisted on teaching you how to fly-"

"Oh James-" she nearly laughed.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I! I'm the stupid nit that after one lesson decided I was as good as you and went flying after a runaway snitch." James didn't answer. His snitch, he thought miserably. The one he'd given her. Lily instinctively leaned forward and touched his hand. "It was my own fault I ended up in that forest," she finished softly. James started...trying to ignore her gentle touch. He'd worked for nearly month trying to get Lily Evans out of his system…but it did no good.

"Well…I'm…I'm glad you're ok…and I'm still sorry."

Lily leaned back and returned to her concentrated glare on her notebook, "Well don't be. Besides…it ended up rather…exciting."

"Oh?" James asked, knowing he shouldn't. "Meaning?"

Lily at once recalled the white moonlit creature she thought of and dreamt of so often now. And sitting here with James...those vivid images..."Well, there are some fascinating creatures in the forest. Let's just leave it at that." She looked up, secretly pleading.

To her surprise, James sported a knowing grin, giving a nod, "fair enough."

Lily shook her head as if she could shake the memories as well. "So…what are we to do about this ball?"

James leaned back, immediately relaxed and equally thankful for the shift of subject.

"Well, I promised you no pranks…so I'm fresh out of ideas."

Lily laughed, "Well I think we need to get rid of the formal robe requirements. I say we let the students pick out their own dress robes."

"Not a bad plan. There'll be fewer complaints in that department. And let's not let the professors pick the music this year? No more Jane Austen ballroom waltzes."

Lily regarded him quizzically, "How do you know who Jane Austen is?"

"Muggle studies—fourth year. We had to read…Emma," he shuddered.

She giggled, "Serves you right Potter."

"It was boring! The pictures didn't even move!"

Again, Lily laughed as she rolled her eyes, "Obviously you weren't paying attention in Muggle studies. Pictures don't move in the muggle world."

James shrugged, "As I said. Bloody boring."

She shook her head and chuckled to herself, eyes twinkling in the soft firelight. James's breath caught in his throat as he tore his gaze away from her. Uh oh, he thought.

"Well look," he said suddenly, standing up as he grabbed his satchel from the couch next to him, "I think we've gotten a lot done today. How do you feel about seeing Dumbledore tomorrow after supper?"

Lily gathered her things and hoisted herself off the opposite sofa. "Sounds like a-" she gripped her head and swayed.

"Whoa," James stepped forward, his hand came around her back as he supported her against him. "You all right?"

She shook out her head, waiting for the sudden dizziness to subside. When she'd regained her composure, James immediately stepped back, afraid of what his instincts might do if he'd held her too long. "Yes I think so. Just a might dizzy. I guess I didn't have enough to eat today," she let out a small laugh as she looked up.

James's hands were folded over his chest, "You need something to eat, Evans."

"No really…I think I'll be-"

"Come on. It's not too late. We can go back to the dining hall, grab a bite."

Lily glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner of the common room and sighed. She didn't have much homework left. And she was suddenly starving. She looked back and grinned, "You talked me into it. Maybe we can get a few more things done on this ball too."

At that, James groaned. "Swell."

She laughed as they headed once more out into the halls of Hogwarts.