"You are not opening that email."

"It's addressed to me so I'll open if I want!"

"If you value your life, you will not."

There was a shuffling noise and several thumps along with what he was sure was muttered curse words.

"Ha! I have my mouse! Now you can't delete them!"

"Give me the mouse, Tony."

"No way!"

"Tony."

"You aren't deleting my emails. They're mine in case you haven't realised."

"Emails you should not even have!"

That is what he heard upon entering the bullpen today. And it was definitely not something he wanted to hear. At all. He didn't think that he'd ever heard Ziva's voice go so shrill, be didn't think that she was the type. So, it definitely wasn't a good thing that she was sounding shrill now. McGee was incredibly tempted to just turn right around and go somewhere else. Where? He didn't know. But anywhere would be safer than his desk right now.

Making sure to stop just short of the bullpen, McGee tried to see if he could figure out what was going on before his teammates saw him.

Ziva was at Tony's desk, which was nothing out of the ordinary. Neither was the fact that they were right up in each other's space. Those two had no concept of a personal bubble when it came to each other.

Ziva was looking thoroughly annoyed and trying to get at Tony's computer which he was only half successfully blocking.

"She sent them to me, Ziva."

"Only because you demanded her to!"

Tony gave her an offended look.

"Excuse me? You make it sound like I browbeaten her or something! She offered, I accepted. That's all there is to it."

Now, if Ziva had been glaring at him the way she was glaring at Tony, he would have done whatever she wanted. That look in particular promised death to whoever it was directed at. Of course, Tony being Tony, didn't heed the look. Or maybe he did and just disregarded it as not important. Sometimes he still couldn't tell when it came to these two.

"You should not have accepted!" Ziva hissed dangerously.

Again, Tony appeared to be unconcerned, with that grin of his on his face.

"And turn down pictures of you?"

"Yes!"

"No way!"

Pictures of Ziva? Who was sending Tony pictures of Ziva? And what was she doing in them that would cause an argument between her and Tony?

Wait. What was he doing? He didn't want to know any of this! No. He didn't even need to think about this.

McGee sat at his desk and pondered if he really did want to know what was going on. On one hand, he would understand what was going on. On the other hand, he would probably end up getting involved if he asked and he didn't want that to happen. No, he wasn't that desperate to understand what was going on. He was just going to get on with his work and pray that Gibbs would come back soon.

"McGee!"

"McGee!"

A sigh left him as he shook his head in despair. Well, that didn't last long. The login screen hadn't even appeared on his screen yet! Both of them calling for him? Definitely not a good sign. Maybe if he ignored them, they wouldn't try again.

"McDeaf!"

"McGee!"

No such luck. He took a deep breath and lifted his head.

"Yes?"

"Come and help us," Tony ordered. "And tell her that I'm right."

Signing heavily, he asked, "What is it?"

He was going to regret this; he just knew it.

"I got some emails from someone that included pictures of our very own ninja," Tony explained. "Tell Ziva that because they are sent to me means that I get to view them."

Then there was silence as they both looked at him, awaiting his verdict.

"Technically, they are his emails Ziva," McGee said hesitantly, knowing full well that she wasn't going to like that answer.

The glare she now turned on him proved that he was right. Well, he couldn't exactly do anything about it. They were Tony's emails so be really could do what he liked with them no matter what Ziva thought of the contents.

He didn't know why Ziva's Aunt Nettie was sending photos to Tony, nor did he want to know. His input in this matter was over as far as he was concerned. Turning to go back to his desk and hopefully get some work done, he was thwarted by Tony grabbing his arm.

"Hey!"

"Oh no you don't, McOnMySide, I need safety in numbers right now."

Shrugging Tony off, McGee shook his head.

"I'm not on your side. All I did was point out a fact. If you didn't want to anger Ziva you shouldn't have asked for photos of her."

"Exactly!" Ziva said triumphantly.

Tony gave him a look of disgust. "Oh, now you're on her side?"

"I'm not on anyone's side!"

No way was he picking sides between these two. No, he quite liked his sanity.

Why were they both looking at him like he had betrayed them? He was simply trying not to get in involved, that wasn't anything bad?

"You need to be on my side." Tony told him. "Because, like you said, they're my emails."

"Yes, they are. And I said that."

"So, you are on my side!"

"Not taking sides."

"But they are my photos that I do not want him seeing," Ziva complained.

"Technically they're your Aunt Nettie's photos of you," Tony told her.

"Same thing!"

"It isn't!"

And they were back to bickering again. Which was good for him because that meant he was being ignored.

"Just delete them, you do not need to see them."

"Of course, I do. They're of a tiny, little Ziva," then he looked her up and down. "Well, littler than you are now."

McGee looked around helplessly. Where was Gibbs when you needed him? Because it would be pretty good if he just popped up out of nowhere right about now. But of course, he didn't because why would things go McGee's way today?

There was the sound of skin hitting skin and a rather loud yelp from Tony.

"Ziva!"

And McGee found that he didn't feel bad for him at all.