And If By Chance ...
By: Samu-chan
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind
you. ^^; ), language
A/N: Thank you again to those who reviewed. I feel so ... loved! I think so
far this is my best story, not to sound braggy or anything. Later on, I may
have 3rd person, and maybe even a few chapters in Yuki's PoV. I guess I'll
let you debate on that one. Tell me in the reviews if you would like a few
Yuki Pov's. ^^ Anyway, this chapter is in Kyou's view, just to keep you on
track. And on with the story!
And If By Chance ... I Feel So Much More
I guess I was confused. Any other person would have probably hit me, like Kagura often did when I yelled or snapped at her. I could already see a big difference between her and most people. It slightly unnerved me. I felt naturally drawn to her already. It didn't just unnerve me though. It scared me. I was determined to be alone. No matter what anyone else might have ever wanted. I never had anyone worry about me anyway. Now just within five minutes, everything had begun to change.
"That cat doesn't deserve to be called anything but a baka." The rat of course. I growled roughly. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to protect myself from his 'praise to be an idiot'. I literally threw my door open, unsurprised to see the rat before me, standing rather close to Tohru. He never gave up on a girl did he?
"If your going to insult me, try not doing it next to my room!" I think I shocked her. She stood there staring at him, while I watched the rat wave off my attack and head off into his own room. Just the simple act made my blood set on fire. I had to fight down the cat inside of me, when I finally looked over at Tohru.
"Now what!?" She drew in a deep and sharp breath. Flustered was the word that best fit her at the moment. I decided not to talk to her anymore than I had too, which was not at all.
"Wait ... don't tell me." I didn't want to see her reaction. I was expecting her to finally explode at me and tell me off as I headed towards the stairs, but she remained quiet. I really wished she hadn't, because I couldn't stop myself from breaking the silence while walking down the stairs. I was agitated, and didn't have the energy to turn around and say it ... or maybe not the guts, but I could still feel her smile.
"Thanks."
I am not a morning person. Rather surprisingly though, I'm not much of a night person either. I guess it makes sense though. I'm not a complete cat anyway. But like I mentioned. Sleeping wasn't an option. I decided to get up early. Of course, I had no idea that she got up just as early as well. I was drowsy, and quite out of it. I was also quite clumsy too. I passed her without noticing. My first priority. Milk. I usually got scolding for drinking right out of the container, but no one was even up ... that I knew of at the moment.
"Good morning Kyou-kun." Despite the softness of her voice, she almost caused me to choke. I had the hardest time holding myself together. I finally swallowed, and let out a few coughs. I was left panting. I sensed her presence next to me, so I forced myself to look at her.
"Never do that again! Geez..." I continued to pant and watch her. She made no attempt to open her mouth. She simply watched me. Worry etched into her face. What was worse than that? Her eyes. She stared at me with the same soft and caring eyes I had met her with. My nerves began to feel as though they had been set on fire, then dropped on ice. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull my vision away from her. I felt ... unsure of myself. It was the first time in a really long time.
"What are you staring like that at me for?" I was surprised my voice moved. With her stare on me, and my nerves set on overdrive, it just surprised me that my mind worked. I don't think she noticed the nervousness in my voice though. I must have gotten luck and pulled her from her daze. She blushed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" My turn to stare at her. She was still being so ... nice. I couldn't believe it. It took all my energy not to show how confused I was. I wasn't sure how I would explain why I would be so confused, but I could see myself trying. How no one cared if I choked and died. Another cat would be born. One to take my place as an outcast. I didn't matter. I wasn't sure if I could even say it that simply. No matter how I read it though, it did hurt to talk about.
"Fine. What are you making?" Despite my long term thinking, I turned my attention to the food behind her. It was her making that wonderful smelling food. She suddenly brought her hands together under her chin, her blue eyes filled with the same thing I saw before she left my room the night before. Hope.
"Will Kyou-kun be joining us for breakfast too?" My eyes got stuck on hers. She was special alright. She knew I was the outcast. She knew I had a bad temper. She knew I hated her for just being a female ... or at least, I was trying to keep it that way. And yet, she continued to have hope for me. I felt my stare turn into more of a soft gaze. It struck me rather hard. She didn't care about that. She accepted it all, and still she held hope, because inside she really did care about what happened to me. But my rough side took over instantly.
"Eat with the dog and rat? You have got to be joking..." I felt like hitting myself. I saw her face lower, and eyes well up with tears. It tore at me. I felt ... ashamed. I hurt her. She was the direct opposite of me. Everything I am ... she's not. Once again, for the first time in a long time ... I felt horrible about something I said.
"W-what are you crying for!?" I stuttered, but she didn't seem to notice again. She looked up at me, slightly confused for a moment.
"I was just hoping to enjoy Kyou-kun's company today..." I grumbled a few things under my breath. How was I going to sit with the rat and dog? I had never done it before. I have lived here years, and not once eaten with them. I was just growing immune to the fact of loneliness, maybe even to the point ... where I just preferred it over everything else. But just the emotion the was hanging from her voice, my mind shut down. I wasn't quite sure if I'd ever get used to her.
"Maybe another time." She did it again. Looking at me with those eyes of hers. So far, I was the only one in this house to take her hope away. And it just pissed me off on why I couldn't figure out ... what hold she had over me. All I could come up with was a sigh and a good shake of my head. Maybe it would clear out my mind at the most. I was already heading back up towards my room, when she called me back from my haze.
"Should I bring Kyou-kun some breakfast in his room?" I figured if I said no ... she might start to cry again. It wouldn't be long until the rat was up, and he'd be ragging on me for causing her pain. I certainly didn't need it this early. Although ... what she had been cooking smelled even better than what I could do, so I suppose I put myself up for a test. I kept telling myself that, but I already knew better.
I observed the rest of the day. That ... and did too much thinking. I wasn't sure why, but her voice kept repeating itself in my head. All the nice things she said to me. Even about me. Confusion had a strong hold on me, and I could tell it would only get worse. As I observed, I watched her getting closer to the rat and Shigure. And yet ... I knew that part of her was holding out. She looked happy enough, but the look in her eyes ... it didn't always show that spark.
I think I sat on the roof almost the entire day. I finally had enough of staring at the same place in the sky though, so I got up. My legs nearly didn't cooperate, and a fell back down onto the roof with a rather hard thud. I let out a growl to join the pain that shot through me for a moment. As I started to get up, I heard something scrambling on the side of the house. I looked over, just as Tohru's head popped into over the side.
"What are you doing up here!?" My immediate reaction. I didn't mean to startle her. I could see her lose her balance quickly, so I ran off my next impulse. I grabbed her hand. In one swift move, I pulled her completely up onto the roof with no problems. She stood there staring at me, as if I was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. It didn't last long though, she blushed just as quickly as she lost her balance.
"I just ... heard a thump on the roof. I was wondering if something happened. Was it you?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She really could be oblivious. But oddly enough, I could feel my own blush threatening to climb up. I inwardly grunted and moved away from her. Flopping back to the roof. I stared at the sky intensely just to make sure I didn't blush.
"Yeah. What else in the world could get on the roof!?" I watched her from beneath my bangs. From the look on her face, she wanted to see my entire face. I couldn't let her though. I didn't want to give her hope that might be crushed in the end. I knew my eyes were soft like before. At the moment, I felt like there was no such thing as anger. She sat down beside me. I must have asked her what her family was like, because I found myself listening intently to her.
"Sorry..." I opened my eyes looking at her quizzically. It took me a moment to reregister everything.
"You say that too much." I saw her blush, and I could feel mine returning.
"It's late. Go to bed." She blinked at me, and without even a reply, she climbed back down the roof. Much faster than she had climbed I noted. I had a feeling I hurt her feelings ... again. I followed her, rather surprised to find that she left her window open as she was getting ready for bed.
"Are you stupid or something!?" She could get robbed ... or murdered if she left this window open. I was sure I was probably getting a little bit ahead of myself, and that I was already growing rather protective of her no matter how hard I told myself not to get attached. She whirled around to stare at me. It was her turn to stare at me in a questioning form.
"Shut and lock your window." I snorted at her to add effect, before jumping into her room. I watched her simply stare at me. My body froze when it finally came up next to her. Her silence was so ... comforting for some reason. Or maybe it was just the look in her eyes. It was different this time. Trust. I finished hurrying out of her room and back into mine. I fell onto my bed, letting out a grunted.
"Great."
For the first time in my life ... in a long time ... I was happy. I couldn't believe any of it though. A few weeks have already gone by since Tohru first came to live with us. She spent her days with Shigure and the rat, but spent hours on end with me on the roof at night. Despite what I originally had wanted ... I accepted her. I couldn't help it. She had an allure about her. Something that draws people to her. It was more than just her beauty ... it was her loving personality.
Out of everyone ... I was the one who made her cry. I didn't mean too ... I just did. And yet, she always returned. She never gave up on me. I think it was one reason I accepted her so quickly. She trusted me, no matter how many times I tried to hide away. Run away. I was good at that. Running ... but she eventually would catch up. I stopped sulking so much in my room. I even started to join them at breakfast and dinner ... adding much surprise to the dog and rat. But it made her happy, so I tried.
However ... I never thought I'd get any closer to her. The few short hours that we talk ... or much rather watch the stars, that was all it was going to be. Unlike my acceptance of her, I was going to be firm on myself. Though ... I think fate didn't like the idea. That day ... Tohru went to the store to go get some groceries. Even though both the rat and I insisted on taking someone with, she said it would be a short trip and she'd be back soon. That was about ... six hours ago.
********************
Suspense? Shame on me.
Time for yet another disclaimer.... I DON'T OWN IT ... unless someone is offering to buy it for me
And If By Chance ... I Feel So Much More
I guess I was confused. Any other person would have probably hit me, like Kagura often did when I yelled or snapped at her. I could already see a big difference between her and most people. It slightly unnerved me. I felt naturally drawn to her already. It didn't just unnerve me though. It scared me. I was determined to be alone. No matter what anyone else might have ever wanted. I never had anyone worry about me anyway. Now just within five minutes, everything had begun to change.
"That cat doesn't deserve to be called anything but a baka." The rat of course. I growled roughly. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to protect myself from his 'praise to be an idiot'. I literally threw my door open, unsurprised to see the rat before me, standing rather close to Tohru. He never gave up on a girl did he?
"If your going to insult me, try not doing it next to my room!" I think I shocked her. She stood there staring at him, while I watched the rat wave off my attack and head off into his own room. Just the simple act made my blood set on fire. I had to fight down the cat inside of me, when I finally looked over at Tohru.
"Now what!?" She drew in a deep and sharp breath. Flustered was the word that best fit her at the moment. I decided not to talk to her anymore than I had too, which was not at all.
"Wait ... don't tell me." I didn't want to see her reaction. I was expecting her to finally explode at me and tell me off as I headed towards the stairs, but she remained quiet. I really wished she hadn't, because I couldn't stop myself from breaking the silence while walking down the stairs. I was agitated, and didn't have the energy to turn around and say it ... or maybe not the guts, but I could still feel her smile.
"Thanks."
I am not a morning person. Rather surprisingly though, I'm not much of a night person either. I guess it makes sense though. I'm not a complete cat anyway. But like I mentioned. Sleeping wasn't an option. I decided to get up early. Of course, I had no idea that she got up just as early as well. I was drowsy, and quite out of it. I was also quite clumsy too. I passed her without noticing. My first priority. Milk. I usually got scolding for drinking right out of the container, but no one was even up ... that I knew of at the moment.
"Good morning Kyou-kun." Despite the softness of her voice, she almost caused me to choke. I had the hardest time holding myself together. I finally swallowed, and let out a few coughs. I was left panting. I sensed her presence next to me, so I forced myself to look at her.
"Never do that again! Geez..." I continued to pant and watch her. She made no attempt to open her mouth. She simply watched me. Worry etched into her face. What was worse than that? Her eyes. She stared at me with the same soft and caring eyes I had met her with. My nerves began to feel as though they had been set on fire, then dropped on ice. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull my vision away from her. I felt ... unsure of myself. It was the first time in a really long time.
"What are you staring like that at me for?" I was surprised my voice moved. With her stare on me, and my nerves set on overdrive, it just surprised me that my mind worked. I don't think she noticed the nervousness in my voice though. I must have gotten luck and pulled her from her daze. She blushed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" My turn to stare at her. She was still being so ... nice. I couldn't believe it. It took all my energy not to show how confused I was. I wasn't sure how I would explain why I would be so confused, but I could see myself trying. How no one cared if I choked and died. Another cat would be born. One to take my place as an outcast. I didn't matter. I wasn't sure if I could even say it that simply. No matter how I read it though, it did hurt to talk about.
"Fine. What are you making?" Despite my long term thinking, I turned my attention to the food behind her. It was her making that wonderful smelling food. She suddenly brought her hands together under her chin, her blue eyes filled with the same thing I saw before she left my room the night before. Hope.
"Will Kyou-kun be joining us for breakfast too?" My eyes got stuck on hers. She was special alright. She knew I was the outcast. She knew I had a bad temper. She knew I hated her for just being a female ... or at least, I was trying to keep it that way. And yet, she continued to have hope for me. I felt my stare turn into more of a soft gaze. It struck me rather hard. She didn't care about that. She accepted it all, and still she held hope, because inside she really did care about what happened to me. But my rough side took over instantly.
"Eat with the dog and rat? You have got to be joking..." I felt like hitting myself. I saw her face lower, and eyes well up with tears. It tore at me. I felt ... ashamed. I hurt her. She was the direct opposite of me. Everything I am ... she's not. Once again, for the first time in a long time ... I felt horrible about something I said.
"W-what are you crying for!?" I stuttered, but she didn't seem to notice again. She looked up at me, slightly confused for a moment.
"I was just hoping to enjoy Kyou-kun's company today..." I grumbled a few things under my breath. How was I going to sit with the rat and dog? I had never done it before. I have lived here years, and not once eaten with them. I was just growing immune to the fact of loneliness, maybe even to the point ... where I just preferred it over everything else. But just the emotion the was hanging from her voice, my mind shut down. I wasn't quite sure if I'd ever get used to her.
"Maybe another time." She did it again. Looking at me with those eyes of hers. So far, I was the only one in this house to take her hope away. And it just pissed me off on why I couldn't figure out ... what hold she had over me. All I could come up with was a sigh and a good shake of my head. Maybe it would clear out my mind at the most. I was already heading back up towards my room, when she called me back from my haze.
"Should I bring Kyou-kun some breakfast in his room?" I figured if I said no ... she might start to cry again. It wouldn't be long until the rat was up, and he'd be ragging on me for causing her pain. I certainly didn't need it this early. Although ... what she had been cooking smelled even better than what I could do, so I suppose I put myself up for a test. I kept telling myself that, but I already knew better.
I observed the rest of the day. That ... and did too much thinking. I wasn't sure why, but her voice kept repeating itself in my head. All the nice things she said to me. Even about me. Confusion had a strong hold on me, and I could tell it would only get worse. As I observed, I watched her getting closer to the rat and Shigure. And yet ... I knew that part of her was holding out. She looked happy enough, but the look in her eyes ... it didn't always show that spark.
I think I sat on the roof almost the entire day. I finally had enough of staring at the same place in the sky though, so I got up. My legs nearly didn't cooperate, and a fell back down onto the roof with a rather hard thud. I let out a growl to join the pain that shot through me for a moment. As I started to get up, I heard something scrambling on the side of the house. I looked over, just as Tohru's head popped into over the side.
"What are you doing up here!?" My immediate reaction. I didn't mean to startle her. I could see her lose her balance quickly, so I ran off my next impulse. I grabbed her hand. In one swift move, I pulled her completely up onto the roof with no problems. She stood there staring at me, as if I was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. It didn't last long though, she blushed just as quickly as she lost her balance.
"I just ... heard a thump on the roof. I was wondering if something happened. Was it you?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She really could be oblivious. But oddly enough, I could feel my own blush threatening to climb up. I inwardly grunted and moved away from her. Flopping back to the roof. I stared at the sky intensely just to make sure I didn't blush.
"Yeah. What else in the world could get on the roof!?" I watched her from beneath my bangs. From the look on her face, she wanted to see my entire face. I couldn't let her though. I didn't want to give her hope that might be crushed in the end. I knew my eyes were soft like before. At the moment, I felt like there was no such thing as anger. She sat down beside me. I must have asked her what her family was like, because I found myself listening intently to her.
"Sorry..." I opened my eyes looking at her quizzically. It took me a moment to reregister everything.
"You say that too much." I saw her blush, and I could feel mine returning.
"It's late. Go to bed." She blinked at me, and without even a reply, she climbed back down the roof. Much faster than she had climbed I noted. I had a feeling I hurt her feelings ... again. I followed her, rather surprised to find that she left her window open as she was getting ready for bed.
"Are you stupid or something!?" She could get robbed ... or murdered if she left this window open. I was sure I was probably getting a little bit ahead of myself, and that I was already growing rather protective of her no matter how hard I told myself not to get attached. She whirled around to stare at me. It was her turn to stare at me in a questioning form.
"Shut and lock your window." I snorted at her to add effect, before jumping into her room. I watched her simply stare at me. My body froze when it finally came up next to her. Her silence was so ... comforting for some reason. Or maybe it was just the look in her eyes. It was different this time. Trust. I finished hurrying out of her room and back into mine. I fell onto my bed, letting out a grunted.
"Great."
For the first time in my life ... in a long time ... I was happy. I couldn't believe any of it though. A few weeks have already gone by since Tohru first came to live with us. She spent her days with Shigure and the rat, but spent hours on end with me on the roof at night. Despite what I originally had wanted ... I accepted her. I couldn't help it. She had an allure about her. Something that draws people to her. It was more than just her beauty ... it was her loving personality.
Out of everyone ... I was the one who made her cry. I didn't mean too ... I just did. And yet, she always returned. She never gave up on me. I think it was one reason I accepted her so quickly. She trusted me, no matter how many times I tried to hide away. Run away. I was good at that. Running ... but she eventually would catch up. I stopped sulking so much in my room. I even started to join them at breakfast and dinner ... adding much surprise to the dog and rat. But it made her happy, so I tried.
However ... I never thought I'd get any closer to her. The few short hours that we talk ... or much rather watch the stars, that was all it was going to be. Unlike my acceptance of her, I was going to be firm on myself. Though ... I think fate didn't like the idea. That day ... Tohru went to the store to go get some groceries. Even though both the rat and I insisted on taking someone with, she said it would be a short trip and she'd be back soon. That was about ... six hours ago.
********************
Suspense? Shame on me.
Time for yet another disclaimer.... I DON'T OWN IT ... unless someone is offering to buy it for me
