Disclaimer: Looking back at my last couple of chapters you may have noticed that I have not had any disclaimers. You're probably wondering why that is. Or maybe your not, but I'll tell you anyways. See I could tell you the truth…OR, I could give you two scenarios and you could take your pick. The first scenario was because I forgot or Second, It's because JK Rowling has died leaving me the sole beneficiary of all rights to Harry Potter. Take your pick
A/N: WOW My readers are all a bunch on crazed fan girls! AWESOME! But please…remind me never to mention any cute guy actors…or people that you know or something. Oh yes…BACK OFF! TOM IS MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAsigh …shutting up
TO THE REVIEWERS: We had a whole batch of new reviewers…I'm so excited that some of you are spreading the word about my story! It's much appreciated. Now…here's the next thing you do! Go and read my other story "From the Ground Up" and Review that to! And, after you have read it, if you are interested in being my beta email me, my email address is on my profile. I HAVE 200 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does I have 200 reviews dance
Mintytoothpick : NO! YOU CANNOT HAVE DRACO! HE'S MINE! Hehe…mine…lol
Josie: I'm sorry, you misunderstood me. There is nothing wrong with Canada. I am also a citizen of Canada, but I live in the US (I am a duel citizen because my mom is from Canada) There is absolutely nothing wrong with Canada, I am simply using that country because that is where I'll be going while I'm out of town. CANADA ROCKS!
Fionger: …um…thanks?
The-sexy-flower: Wow thank you so much! It's been a while since anybody has told me WHY they like my story, and I appreciate it. I reviewed you Snape fic, and I shall tell you again what I told you in the review…Don't make Hermione TO slutty, you haven't done it yet but I'm getting this…feeling. I heart your fic and I want an update!
Hotinkflamingo: YAY! Loyalty is an admirable trait…are you a Gryffindor by any chance?
Sk8erpunkGCpnay: I'M SORRY! I KNOW NOW! Of course I'll invite you to the wedding! You'll be the first after the entire cast of Harry Potter and…um…JK Rowling, and Sally, and Rose, and my family, and…you get the picture but you'll definitely be on the list. Lol JK but I will invite you
Ani: I used to spell my name like that…but then nobody pronounced it right so I gave up. Thanks for the review
Malleana: I don't like Saint Potter either…but fear not! I shall kill him off again. Hehe. If you really like Harry bashing fics you should read my other HP fic "From the Ground Up" It only has the prologue in but Harry is going to be an abusive bastard and Draco gets to beat the sh-er…snot! Out of him!
TennisNerd23: Yup I found out his name as you probably read later in the story, I have that picture of him with the book. See the problem with taking more than a day to write a fic as that your author's notes are kind of disjointed but…that's okay!
Berry: I can assure you that I have never read your story and let alone steal anything from it! The blood bonding was made up by me while lying in my bed at 4 in the morning trying to go to sleep. I have read other stories with a similar blood bonding ritual but only after I had posted my chapter that introduced blood bonding. Actually I only read it a couple weeks ago after chapter seven. Thank you for the review.
Ashley: I really, really want internet. SOOOOO bad…so I'll find a way to post.
B: nope, you never can…unless you're me replaces allfootage of Lupin in all reels of the third movie with another taller, skinnier, paler actor
Ginny Weasley: Thanks for all your reviews! They make me happy!
Tess: Thanks
ShortStuff10: Harry is going to-plot smothers author under pillow There will be no more giving away of the plot…she hits hard!
RnB Diva Gurl- I hope it turns out happy to…I better get to work on that
Haystack8190- hugs back! I know what you mean about the whole no computer thing…well at least about the no internet part anyways. IT SUCKS!
Anonymous: Yes you are my 196th reviewer but now I need 210 but I'm taking pity on you and updating anyways
Awwww: I'm back and updating
Desi: A wee bit attractive? Desi Tom Felton is FINE!
Ellen: Hello my darling cousin! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing
TJ: Wow! TJ you actually read my story! And I wasn't even there to punch you until you reviewed! Thanks so much. And HOT DAMN you're my 200th Reviewer way to go
Chapter Nine: Doubt
FRANK CRANE:
You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.
Hermione wandered around the bottom floor
Taking in the elaborate gold inlay on the ceiling and the cool green marble on the floor
Hermione snorted
Lucius was such a fool
Granted a rich fool
But a fool none the less
Tossing his money away on such frivolous things
She felt such a violent surge of disgust that she almost doubled over
Muttering under her breath she straightened
These little "episodes" as she termed them had been happening more and more frequently over the last couple of weeks
Ever since she and Draco had talked in the office she had been experiencing emotions that weren't hers
The "episodes"
The were really, really starting to piss her off
"I mean seriously, how can I be expected to figure out what I'm feeling if what I'm feeling is all mixed up with what HE'S feeling?" Hermione asked out loud
Groaning she sat down smack dab in the middle of the hall way and then leaned backwards so that she was lying on the cool green marble her legs stretched out and her ankles crossed. She pillowed her head in her hands.
Sighing she closed her eyes and tried to puzzle through what was happening to her
She just couldn't get around the fact that she was in Draco Malfoy's house and he hadn't killed her yet
He's probably waiting to use me for one of his twisted schemes
'OR maybe he has no intention of hurting you, maybe he was telling the truth and cares for you.' The little voice said
Oh come on! It's Draco MALFOY we're talking about here, Malfoys don't HAVE feelings, he couldn't possibly care for me, and he's probably just using me.
'You know except for the whole locking-Hermione-in-my-room-for-weeks-at-a-time he was actually being very nice'
Yes being nice for a REASON, He obviously wants something
'Or maybe he's just trying to be your friend' the little voice insisted
Why on EARTH would Draco want to be her friend?
'Just give it a chance!' the little voice nagged
Fine, fine
"You know I never USED to have conversations with myself before I came her…it must be something in the water" She said loudly, her voice echoing in the cavernous hall way
Draco paused in the middle of the hall staring down at where Hermione lay, studying her face
She looked peaceful…except for that little furrow in between her brows
Smiling he said "Should I be concerned for your sanity? You know usually having conversations with yourself is a sign that you're losing it."
Hermione opened one I up a crack and stared up at Draco
Weaving a playful note into her voice she said "Well…if I am it's your fault. Plus wouldn't you go nutters to? We share a soul after all."
Draco dropped down next to where Hermione lay and leaned back on his elbows
"Well…I suppose that is true." He said slowly
But then grinning he said "But would you even be able to tell? Us Malfoys have been considered insane for eons!"
Hermione giggled
Hermione smacked a hand over her mouth
Had she just…giggled?
No of course she hadn't!
Hermione Granger NEVER giggled
It…it just wasn't done!
Draco looked at Hermione out of the corner of his eye
Seeing the shocked expression on her face he grinned that big Cheshire cat grin
There was nothing more fun than pissing Granger off
He got to work
"Did you just GIGGLE?" he asked adding an exaggerated note of surprise and a little disgust to his voice
Hermione turned beat red and sat up
"NO!" she shouted
Draco smirked inwardly
It was just so much fun
And so EASY!
"Oh come on now! You giggled and you know it!"
"I…I…I laughed! Laughing is NOT giggling!" she tried to defend herself
Draco snickered
"I'm so proud of myself! I made the Great Granger Giggle" (AN- Isn't alliteration fun?)
"Oh shut up!" Hermione said finally catching onto the game Draco was playing "Be careful Draco you may start to blush again…BLUSHER!"
(AN- right now you're probably going "What the hell is the author on? Get on with the story already!" But I assure you that the bonding they are doing right now is integral to the plot…oh yes and get your barf bags ready…Kiss scene ahead)
"I did NOT blush" said Draco, his cheeks tinged with pink
"Oh come on! You blushed and you know it!" Said Hermione, mimicking Draco's earlier words
Draco finally caught on
"Shut up!" he said laughing
"BLUSHER!"
"GIGGLER!"
"I did not giggle!"
"Yes you did!"
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"I DID NOT!" Hermione shouted
"Yes you did and I can make you giggle again!"
"Oh yah…how?"
Draco grinned slyly
"Like this!"
Draco pounced on Hermione's prone figure tickling her until Hermione screamed with laughter
"T-that doesn't count!" she gasped gulping in air
Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard
Draco leaned down till his nose almost touched hers
"It does to count…or do you want me to prove my point again?"
"No!" she said her cheeks still pink from laughing
She smiled her sparkling sapphire eyes meeting Draco's glacial eyes
Draco's eyes drifted down to her curved lips
The expression on his face darkened
Slowly he leaned in and placed his lips over Hermione's
A gentle kiss
A sweet kiss
Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed
"Draco" she murmured
Draco rolled over onto Hermione so that she was pinned underneath him.
He deepened the kiss and slowly slid his hands underneath her shirt, resting them on the warm, smooth, skin of her stomach
"I love you" he sighed against her lips
Hermione and Draco's eyes snapped open simultaneously
Draco hurled himself off of Hermione and Hermione scrambled backwards away from Draco
Draco stayed where he was, kneeling on the floor staring at Hermione with a panicked look in his eye
'Why did I say that!? It wasn't the right time! She'll be scared now! She won't ever talk to me again!' The voice in Draco's head screamed in anguish at seeing the shock written plainly on her face
'Well now we'll find out how she feels about me' the rational part of Draco thought
He braced himself for the silvery pain of losing the only thing that mattered any more
It was sure to come
'YES! YES! YES! YES!' the little voice in Hermione's head screamed 'Tell him! Tell him how YOU feel!' the little voice insisted
'He doesn't really love me.' The rational part of Hermione's mind insisted 'He's using me. He doesn't mean it'
'Why would he say it if he doesn't mean it?' The little voice queried persuasively 'He LOVES you. You LOVE him. TELL HIM!'
'I don't know if I love him' the rational voice insisted
'You love him' the little voice said determinately
'He doesn't love me'
'He said so'
'He didn't mean it'
'He said he loved you'
'He didn't mean it'
"You don't mean it" she spoke a loud
Draco gaped at Hermione.
He finally, finally, FINALLY told her how he felt
…and she didn't believe him?
Of all the possible scenarios that Draco had envisioned this was never one of them
Never had he thought that upon confessing his feelings to the woman he loved, she wouldn't believe him
But judging from the silence that had followed after his slip up Granger had probably reasoned her way to the wrong conclusion, and nothing on this planet would get her to rethink it or admit that she was wrong.
However
He was just as stubborn as she was
He had told her how he felt
And if he couldn't get her to reciprocate those feelings
He would damn well get her to accept them!
So he prepared himself to butt proverbial heads with Granger…or if it came right down to it, they might also end up bumping actual heads
"Granger…Hermione, I am well past the age that allows me to know my own mind. I meant what I said." Draco said coldly
Hermione just stared at him, her sapphire eyes unblinking as she studied him
Then she shook her head sadly
"Draco…you can't mean it." she said, sorrow tinting her voice
Draco stared back at her just as calmly as she
"Hermione. I. Meant. What. I. Said." He enunciated slowly
Hermione just kept shaking her head
"Draco…there's no possible way you could have meant it…you don't love me…I don't love you…we're to different" Hermione lied
Draco felt an arrow of pain lance up, starting in his stomach and ending in his heart where it resided, a slow and steady throb
She didn't love him
He closed his eyes tightly
Fine
But he would still make her believe him
He opened his eyes and stared at the woman he loved
The woman who didn't love him back
"Hermione…haven't you ever heard the expression love is blind?" at her hesitant nod he continued "Well that doesn't just apply to our physical appearances I
Figured that in our case that it goes deeper. It's completely blind to all our differences our faults our beliefs. You don't pick out an ideal person and say 'this is the person
who I am going to love for the rest of my life' It just happens…and once it has, you can't change it."
Hermione stared at him
Her heart aching
She wished so badly she could believe him…
But how could she?
How many times had Draco lied to her and she had believed it?
To many to count
How did she know this wasn't just one of his sick jokes?
You don't
Why would she take that risk?
To know the truth, to be happy again
Happy
Hermione suppressed a wistful sigh
How she wished that she could be happy again
'But you have been happy these last few days…happy with DRACO' the little voice came back with a vengeance
A few days on the grand scale of things was so little
And besides hadn't he made her life completely miserable for the seven years in Hogwarts?
For the last month that he'd had her?
Wasn't he the follower…no the RIGHT HAND MAN of the creature who ruined her life?
Hadn't he killed countless innocents?
Hadn't he?
Wasn't he?
Didn't he?
'But you LOVE him' the little voice insisted
Love?
Did she know what love was anymore?
"Draco…it's not real…it can't be. Love doesn't exist in the world we live in. You and your master destroyed it." She said sadly
Draco paled "I didn't kill love…nor did Lord Voldemort."
Hermione shook her head "You killed hope. And without hope how can there be love?"
Draco didn't have an answer to that
"I love you! Why can't you see that?" he asked slightly panicked
Hermione looked at him
Her eyes eloquent with sadness
"I…I don't think you CAN love Draco. I can't…I can't see it because it's not there…it doesn't exist." Hermione said her voice breaking repeatedly
Draco stared in shock
"You…you don't think I can love? ME? The greatest lover to ever walk Hogwarts or the face of this earth not know how to love?" he exclaimed showing a hint of the infamous Malfoy ego "I assure you Hermione I CAN love…I'd be happy to give you a demonstration." He said trying to lighten the mood, putting on a smiling face while inside his heart was breaking
His love?
Not exist?
Hermione's lip trembled
"That's…that's not what I'm talking about Draco…I don't doubt that you're skilled in…erm…carnal matters but that's not what I meant." She said choosing her words carefully
Draco dropped his cheerful façade and stared Hermione straight in the eye.
"Then what exactly was it that you meant?" he said quietly
Hermione shifted uncomfortably
"I've never seen you show any emotion but…hate. Never before you brought me here." She indicated the manor with a wave of her hand "How do I know that everything you've done here hasn't been an act? That you're not playing a game with me? If-"
Draco interrupted impatiently "It's not. It's not an act."
Hermione continued on as if he hadn't spoken
"If it's not an act…but of course it is."
"Why?" Draco interrupted again "Why is it an act?"
Hermione stared at him sadly her eyes glimmering with…tears?
Tears for him?
For her?
"Because that would mean that you could feel things other than hate. But if you could feel things besides hate you would never have been able to follow Voldemort. You never would have been able to kill the thousands of innocents you must have to become the Dark Lord's right hand man. Draco your entire existence is evidence against your proclamation." She said quietly
"You can't love. You're not capable of it."
Draco stared in shock
It wasn't true.
It couldn't be
He stood without making a sound and then, in hardly more than a whisper he said "You don't understand anything."
And then he turned and left the hall leaving Hermione where she sat.
Harry moved swiftly across the rolling green of the country side
He had hardly stopped in the three weeks since Voldemort had brought him back
He didn't want to stop because then he would think
He didn't want to think yet
He didn't want to wonder about why Voldemort had brought him back
Or what it meant when Voldemort said Draco had Hermione
Or what it meant that he was back
Or what he was supposed to do now that he was back
His eyes blinked furiously
Trying to see through the falling sheets of rain
Hermione
Hermione would know what to do
He had to get her back
'I'm coming for you Hermione.' He vowed silently
I'm coming for you
He was almost there
Hermione buried her head in her hands.
What had she done?
She had told the truth…nothing more nothing less
But…then why did her heart hurt so terribly?
Why was the little voice in the back of her head sobbing uncontrollably?
Why did her throat ache with the need to release the sobs?
Why were her eyes filling up with tears?
Why did she have that slow, grinding ache in her stomach as if she had lost something important?
She stood up with a flurry of fabric and turned to follow Draco
She was already up the stairs and at the door to his room when she realized that she was going to do when she found him
What would she say to him?
She could picture it now
HERMIONE'S IMAGINATION
Hermione knocked softly on Draco's door
The sound of foot steps could be heard as Draco crossed the floor to open the door
Hermione stood in the door frame
Her silky negligee encasing her curvy little body and her long chestnut hair framing her pale, beautiful face
"Draco…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it…I love you. I really love you!" she said softly
Draco reached out, his beautiful cold blue eyes staring into her own sapphire eyes, and took her hand tugging her gently into his room
Then a lock of silvery blond hair falling into his eyes he leaned in and kissed her softly and lead her to the bed where they made passionate love and lived happily ever after.
Hermione snorted
Yah right
First off she didn't own a teddy and hoping that the sight of her breasts would make Draco so malleable he would completely forgive her, her harsh words was pointless
Hermione looked down at her chest and sighed sadly
Nope definitely not an option
And in all actuality it would go more like this
HERMIONE'S IMAGINATION…AGAIN
Hermione knocked softly on Draco's door
The sound of foot steps could be heard as Draco crossed the floor to open the door
Hermione stood in the door frame
Her oversized shirt showing little of her near anorexic looking body and her long bushy chestnut hair framing her sickly pale, plain face
"Draco…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it…I love you. I really love you!" she said softly
Draco snorted derisively "What do I care you filthy little mudblood? Get lost"
Hermione gaped in shock
"B…But you said you loved me!" she gasped
Draco sneered "What a handsome pureblood like me love filth like you? What are you on Granger?"
(A/N now remember folks Hermione is very pretty but nobody perceives themselves as beautiful or handsome…well except Draco, but he doesn't count and so in their mind they are plain or ugly depending on the mood…continue.)
Hermione sighed
No it wouldn't go like that either
Because she had no intention of admitting she loved him
She didn't even know IF she loved him
'You do' the little voice said
Okay, okay fine she did
But she wasn't telling him because she absolutely believed what she said downstairs
He didn't love her
He couldn't love
It was the truth
But she still wanted to talk to him
About what she didn't know
But…she did want to talk to him
Hermione raised her hand and slowly knocked on the door
No sound of footsteps could be heard
She knocked harder
Still no answer
"Draco?" she called hesitantly
No answer
She reached down for the door knob and slowly turned it
The door swung open and Hermione poked her head in
"Draco? Draco are you in here?" she asked softly
Completely entering the room she closed the door behind her
She looked around the room that had been her prison several weeks ago
No sign of Draco
In fact the room looked exactly the same as it had several weeks ago…except for the black book lying open on the blue silk sheets of the bed
The little black book she had come across when she had first snooped through the room
The little black book she had taken to be a diary
The little black book she hadn't been able to open
The same little black book that was now lying open on the large four poster bed
Hermione edged closer and craned her neck trying to read the writing on the white pages
She gave a furtive look around the room and then dropped down next to the book pulling it towards her guiltily
She glanced at the page in front of her and then shut the book
She shouldn't do this
I mean it was such an evasion of privacy
But it WAS a book
And when had Hermione-Lives-in-the–Library-Granger NOT read a book that interested her?
Hermione tentatively opened the black book to the first page
AN: Well I'm back from vacation and I've updated. This is the first half of chapter nine. It is 17 pages long. If I hadn't cut chapter nine in half it would have been 40. Which is not long for me but who knows you guys may not like obscenely long chapters. Plus chapter nine has a lot of important stuff to take in and I didn't want to overwhelm you or anything. It's great to be home.
REVIEW or I will staple your tongue to your forehead, stick broccoli in your ear and dump you in the nearest septic pumping facility.
