AN: This was going to be a whole hell of a lot longer but…I'm soooo tired I can hardly breathe when I get home so I'm posting what I've written until I can…you know…move again. So here it is. Expect an update…soon
AN: Yes…well…here I am…still…here…cough cough…yes…well…hm. So…yes…I love you my darling reviewers. You make me so happy! I love reading the little emails that have your review on them sends them to me) I would love it if you guys would email me or IM me. Or come and read my Live Journal and comment and stuff. I would LOVE to talk to me…but of course…if YOU didn't want to talk to ME…I'd totally understand -sniffles-
DISCLAIMER:…so yep…I own Harry Potter…that's cool huh…I'm like…richer than the queen of England…I've got royalties and Tom Felton at my beck and--RING RING- -picks up telephone- "Hello this is Annie the genius behind Harry Potter…what?...Really?...oh…I see. Okay…bye" -hangs up phone - You'll never guess who that was! It was some lawyer who said he worked for some lady named JK Rowling…whoever THAT is. Well anyways apparently she is suing me. She says she owns Harry Potter -RING RING- -picks up phone- "Hello…oh…OKAY FINE jeez bye!" Okay that was the lawyer calling back…apparently she DOES own Harry Potter and is now suing me. Damn.
Randomness: I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE Junior Lifeguards, I would rather eat glass while standing on one foot singing Yankee Doodle in between bites of glass in the middle of Time Square. I told my mom that and you know what she said? "I wish I had stuff like that when I was a kid. I would have LOVED to do it" So you know what I said? I said "Well if you're so bloody excited about it why don't YOU do it." And you know what she made me do? She made me wash all the dishes even though it wasn't my day. Well fine! I'm doing the buggering Junior Lifeguards because if I hadn't I would have been grounded for like…six months and I wouldn't have gotten the wireless internet connection for my laptop…which I still don't have by the way. OH MOOOOOOOM…
Mintytoothpick: Thanks for always reviewing m'dear
Nicole-HP-fan: I'm OA…otakuannie…OtakuAnnie…or shortened to OA…see? It's fun and easy! I want a snake sooooo bad but my grandma is like…phobic so my mom won't let me get one. I have two cats Tigger and Leo
The-sexy-flower: YAY! Thanks so much! I don't need a Beta for Tears of an Innocent because I'm basically done (I'm lying through my teeth) and I won't be writing anything more for From the Ground Up until Tears is finished so…like…in a month of two I'll be ready to send you some stuff. Could you leave me your email address?
Ginny Weasley: Yes she was. It made you cry? AWESOME! I mean not awesome that you were crying but it's awesome that my writing made you cry…and not from it's badness but just from the way I wrote it! You make me feel like such a good little fan fic writer
Blusky: -runs around in circles with you- OMG YAY!
Haystack8190: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I so am!
Chibimecools: heheheHAHA…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH
V-Queen: MWAHAHAHAHAH…you know who's really sadistic? All lifeguards. Not me and my innocent –cough cough- cliffies
Malleana: HAHAHAHA! Wow loooong review! Did you know that there was actually a really long Draco scene when he was talking to Theodore Nott and they were reflecting on Harry and the Death Eaters, in the original book five, but JK Rowling cut it? AHHHHHHHHH –rips hair out-…I wonder if she'll send it to me? I'm sorry the trophy is you're for forever but Draco is, and always will be, MINE!
Teralyn: And you've only just reviewed??? Shame! JK! I guess the threats really do work…hm…
DarkAngelB: yes I will help you with the floppy disk thing…but that will only work if the computer you wrote it on and the computer you want to transfer it to are both PC's. I like Harry…just not in fanfics
Sum girl--;;: right now J
Chapter Ten: Choice
We do have choice, but not without some agony
Josephine Hart
"Harry?" Hermione whispered
Her eyes wide with disbelief
Harry turned towards her, away from where Draco stood by the door
His unruly black hair was sopping wet and hanging in his eyes, his green eyes were warm, alive, in fact the only sign he had been dead for six, almost seven, months was the unnatural pallor of his skin.
But other than that he seemed solid
He stood a good four or five inches over Draco and more than a foot over Hermione herself
His imposing figure was made even more so by the sense of power emanating from his skin
Draco narrowed his eyes, a power that, while still his own, was faintly tainted, as if he had been aided by an outside force, and that assisting aurora was so familiar…he just couldn't quite remember who…
Harry moved out of the door way into the entry hall where the green and white marble flooring was gathering more and more water as the rain lashed in from the open door and from Harry himself as he stood dripping.
Harry took another long stride towards where Hermione stood frozen
Draco frowned
His knuckles white as he gripped the heavy gold knob tightly
"Hermione." Harry breathed
Hermione took a step back, her face pale and her hand pressed to her heart
"H-how?" she stuttered
Harry's green eyes narrowed as he studied her
Taking in the sight of her mussed hair
The forest green dress robes, one of many that Draco had given her several weeks ago, that was wrinkled from when she had been sitting on the bed
Draco slammed the door and broke Harry's concentration, bringing his attention back to Draco
"Has HE" Harry sneered the last word "Been taking good care of you?"
Draco filled away for later the fact that Harry had evaded the question of how he had been brought back
Hermione continued to stare at Harry in shock
- - - - - - - - - - - -
::::::::::
Draco studied the two lovers as they stood, face to face with each other
He felt his heart break at the sight of them
How could Hermione choose him over the man she had loved since…since they were children?
How could his love compare to the love of her Perfect Potter
The-boy-who-lived-to-ruin-Draco's-life
Now that he was back Draco didn't have a chance
But he continued to stay and watch
There was something…something about Harry that didn't seem right
'Besides the fact that he's supposed to be dead?' the little voice asked 'Don't kid yourself. You just want something to be wrong with him so you can have Hermione. You're making it up' The little voice sure had become depressing since his heart had been ground to dust…oh wait…that was a good enough reason as any to be depressed
:::::::::::::::::
Hermione continued to gape in shock but Harry's eyes were sharp, alert, whilst they studied Hermione
Drinking in the sight of her
Feasting his eyes on the woman he loved
The woman he left
Finally Hermione seemed capable of string a few sentences together "I don't understand! You're…back?" she queried
"Yes love, I'm back." He whispered
Hermione reached out a trembling hand and placed it gently on Harry's cheek, taking a step forward, she had to crane her head to meet Harry's beautiful, spring green eyes.
Harry raised his own hand and placed it over Hermione's much smaller one so it was trapped against his cheek
Draco closed his eyes in pain, recognizing the action as one that lovers repeated so many times it became second nature, they probably didn't even know they were doing it.
Hermione gently withdrew her hand, but Harry continued to hold onto it as she dropped it down to her side
Harry looked at her face, studied the gaunt shadows of her face, the thin, undernourished look of her body, still noticeable despite the rich quality of the robes she wore, the haunted, confused look in her eyes "Has Mal-Ferret harmed you?" he asked, a hard edge in his voice
Hermione shook her head "Of course he hasn't!" she exclaimed
Harry stared at her intently searching her face for some sign that she was lying
Harry shook his head "For some reason I don't believe that." He said softly
He turned his head to where Draco stood in the corner
Draco managed a weak half smile
He gave a graceful bow
"Your trust in me is admirable." He sneered
Harry pointedly turned his back on Draco
"You don't have to lie Hermione…I won't let him hurt you." Harry promised
Hermione shook her head "Harry…he hasn't hurt me…he's been very kind-" Harry interrupted with a short bark of derisive laughter
"Kind, Hermione? Kind? This is Draco MALFOY we're talking about here. Kind isn't in his vocabulary."
Hermione shook her head "No Harry, He's changed."
::::::::::::::::::::::::
Draco's icy blue eyes narrowed
Why did she say that?
Wasn't this the same girl who just finished telling him that he couldn't love or feel? That he was cold and evil?
What had made her say that he had changed?
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;
Harry snorted "You DO realize who you're talking about right? Draco MALFOY-" Draco interrupted smoothly
"I think she knows who I am…you HAVE pointed it out SEVERAL times…she probably got it the first time…she's not as slow as you."
Harry continued as if Draco had never spoken "Draco MALFOY, Voldemort's right hand man, the man who has, if not killed than ordered the death of thousands of muggles. He ordered the death of Ron. He killed Fred. He's done horrible things. How can you say he's been kind?"
Draco snorted from the corner where he stood "You're talking as if you WANTED me to hurt Hermione."
Harry turned around and stared at Draco in shock
Draco stared back "What?" he finally asked
Harry answered "You called her Hermione." His voice colored with shock
Draco blinked "It's her name isn't it?"
Harry shook his head "Yes but….never mind." He turned back to Hermione
"So you're not hurt?" he asked softly
"No" she whispered "I'm fine." She stared at Harry intently
Draco clenched his fists, trying to repress the surge of jealousy he felt at the look in her eyes
'Why can't she look at ME like that?' the little voice that was still remained persistently in his head screamed in agony
But for once Draco agreed with the little voice
He would have given her everything to have her look at him with half the adoration and affection with which she bestowed on Harry
Oh wait…he HAD given her everything, his heart, his home, his pride…it seemed that no matter what he gave her he still didn't measure up to Potter
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Hermione's mind was numb with shock
Her stomach churning with indecision
And her mind…her mind was in turmoil
She didn't understand how he could be back
And now…now when she was ready to move on
Ready to tell Draco how she felt…
Draco
How could she tell him…tell him now that Harry was back?
Harry the man that she had promised her future to
Promised her self to
She couldn't stay here with Draco when Harry was still alive
But…she LOVED Draco…but she loved Harry as well
Had loved him longer
How could she choose between them?
Because that was what she would inevitably have to do…choose
Choose between the two men she loved
One whom she had loved before she understood the meaning of the word
And one who…she understood, connected with, pitied, loved, hated
One who left her
And one who never stopped thinking of her
Draco…or Harry?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Harry's voice brought Hermione back to the present
"Hermione…love? We need to leave…are you ready?"
Hermione blinked, staring at Harry uncomprehending
"I…I don't understand…Leave?" her voice was hesitant, scared, tremulous
"What? You didn't think we could stay HERE did you?" Harry scoffed
Hermione blinked "I…no." Hermione said slowly "I guess we can't."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Draco closed his eyes against the pain
Of course THEY couldn't
But she could
She could stay here with him
But of course she would never do that
Never give up Potter
HOW?
How was it he was back?
Alive?
And why now?
When he finally had Hermione
When he finally told her how he felt
He showed up
But he couldn't understand how
How could he be alive?
He was supposed to be dead
Hermione's voice brought him back into the moment, back into the present where his heart was being ground to dust
"I…Harry…I still don't…I still don't understand how it is that you're here…alive." Hermione's voice was hesitant, still colored with shock
Draco almost grinned at Hermione's discomfort
It looked like he wasn't the ONLY one who had received a nasty little shock
Draco did a quick double take
Hermione didn't look happy
Happy…no definitely not happy
She looked…confused…torn
But how could she not be happy?
Hadn't she just looked happy?
Her darling Potter was alive and well
…was it possible that she did love him?
Love him and not Harry?
That she had been about to tell him…back there in the office
Draco mentally smacked himself for opening the door
Oh no he couldn't have just ignored the knocking, heard her profession of love, reassured her of his feelings and then made passionate love on the floor
…okay well probably not the last part…Hermione was such a prude!
Of course he could be making it up…seeing only what he wanted to see
Draco closed his eyes
Draco tried to fight away the feelings of jealousy, failed, but looked again anyways
Draco opened his eyes and studied Hermione's face intently
No she definitely looked…uncomfortable…to say the least
No the expression on Hermione's face would have been comical if the circumstances hadn't been so dire
'She looks rather like Crabe the time he had accidentally eaten a dungbomb' Draco mused 'Although how the dungbomb had showed up in his box of Bertie Bott's every flavored beans still escapes me…oh wait that was right' Draco grinned 'I had put it there. Tsk tsk…silly me'
But all joking aside she really did look mildly ill
Could it be that she really wasn't happy about Harry being back?
But hadn't she just been?
The look on her face when she finally realized that Harry was back had been…full of joy, confused joy, but joy none the less
It was after…after Harry mentioned leaving that she looked unhappy
Leave
Did she not want to leave?
Didn't want to leave with Harry
Or just didn't want to leave him?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
Hermione's mind reeled
Leave?
How could she leave?
Leave Draco?
Leave the man she loved?
But…it was the other man she loved asking her TO leave
This was all so ruddy confusing!
She had known she would have to choose the moment she saw Harry…but she wasn't expecting it to be this soon
Harry was forcing her to choose before she was ready
'Well what did you expect girl? That Harry would want to hang around here with Draco. Maybe have a nice chat over a cup of tea while we're at it' the little voice commented sarcastically
But he was asking her to choose now
Before she had had time to come to grips with the fact that he was back
Alive
How could he be alive?
She was so happy that he was…and yet…it would have been so much simpler if he had just stayed dead
Hermione's stomach heaved
How could she think such a thing?
Of course she didn't want Harry to be dead
She was ecstatic he was alive…and yet
Draco
She loved Draco
She loved Harry
While the emotional part of Hermione was in turmoil her cool, logical, half kept circling back to one question
How could Harry be alive?
So doing what women have done since the dawn of man she blithely ignored Harry's question and asked her own
"I still don't understand how you can be alive." She said calmly, trying to mask her emotions under normal circumstances both men in the room knew her to well to fall for the old "Answer a question with a question routine" however Harry had always been rather oblivious to the subtle nuances of the female and didn't quite catch on. Draco, however, still being Slytherin and a rather well practiced player caught on immediately and couldn't help but smile in triumph
Maybe she was going to choose him after all
Harry did not take to kindly to Hermione's statement and his countenance grew a wee bit blustery before he changed tactics and he screwed his face up into what he hoped was a kind, caring, gentle face
"Does it really matter how I got back as long as I'm here? I'm ready to start our life over again. I'm ready to be with you again."
Hermione, who harbored a soft spot on her heart for Harry underneath all the bookishness and ice princess demeanor immediately fell for his ploy and completely ignored the part of her that was asking questions and making comments
'We wouldn't have to start over again if you hadn't left.'
'Why did you leave?'
'How is it that you're alive?'
'Something about him just doesn't seem right.'
Hermione pushed all her doubts to the back of her mind and forced herself to smile at Harry, ignoring the doubt and indecision clawing at her belly
This was the man she loved
Had loved since she had first seen him on the train over the top of "Hogwarts a History"
Had mourned for when he had died
Who was she to question what whim of fate had brought him back?
So what if he had taken his own life?
So what if he was asking her to leave the only security she had found since the war had started?
It was Harry
And she loved him
'But you love Draco to!' the little voice popped up
But it was Harry
'But it was Draco.'
And how could she be sure what she was feeling for Draco was really love?
'How can you be sure what you're feeling for Harry is love? How do you know it's not just you hanging on to what you know…to what you think is safe? Plus you were sure you loved Draco not ten minuets ago.' The little voice said with indisputable logic
But Harry
Harry was back
She felt obligated to go with him
'And what about Draco?' the little voice had a one track mind
Draco…
Well…chances were he didn't love her
'Are we back on this? He can love. You know that now. He LOVES you' the little voice said with obvious disgust for Hermione's constantly shifting perception
But Hermione's mushy, emotional, eternally romantic side won out, for once, over the coolly logically, in love with Draco part of her.
She had made her decision
And that decision was what it always was before
Harry
She had given up every thing to be with him before, and she would do so again, now.
She stepped foreward, and viciously squashing the little voice she captured Harry's other hand in hers.
She forced herself to smile, albeit it was a weak, watery smile, but it was still a smile, and Harry returned it enthusiastically
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"You're right Harry" she said quietly "who am I to question what brought you back?" here Harry winced slightly "I'm ready to go when you are."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Voldemort stood from where he had been bent over the scrying glass and howled in triumph
It had worked
Harry was going to lead Hermione away and then Voldemort would be able to take control of him from there.
Voldemort brought his eyes back to the misty moving figures in the glass and prepared to cast the spell…at the opportune moment of course.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Draco's heart broke into a thousand silver pieces that pierced his chest cavity and caused such pain Draco was surprised he wasn't bleeding
His eyes began to swim but he held his head high, with dignity he watched as Harry embraced Hermione, took her hand, and led her from the room
Just as they were about to leave Hermione turned her head back and he looked into her deep blue eyes for the last time.
The door slammed behind them as they left, and, upon hearing that noise Draco fell to his knees, with his arms wrapped around himself he rocked slowly, his back heaving with repressed sobs
He wouldn't let the tears fall
Because if he did…that would admit she was really gone
Gone from him
He wouldn't cry
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Harry kept a tight grip on Hermione's hand as he half lead; half dragged her across the green hills towards the dark, towering, rather threatening looking forest at the edge of the Malfoy land.
The rain pounded down on them and Hermione was regretting not bringing a cloak
The dread in Hermione's stomach, and the sense of foreboding she felt were growing stronger with every step she took, every step that lead her farther and farther away from Malfoy manor…from Draco.
In face Hermione was having a harder time trying to squash the little voice that was screaming doubts and suspicions
In fact Hermione's legs were beginning to shake from the effort she had to exert just to walk away from Draco.
Suddenly she couldn't do it anymore.
At the edge of the forest she stopped.
Harry turned and looked back at her, quirking and eyebrow in question
"Harry?" she asked tentatively
"Yes?" he responded
"Could…could you kiss me?" she asked quietly
Harry's brows drew together in thought
"Uh…sure Hermione." He said uncertainly "but…if you don't mind me asking…Why?"
Hermione fidgeted nervously "I just want to find something out…okay?"
"Alright" Harry said, still puzzled
Hermione placed her hands on his shoulders and pressed her lips, wet with rain, to his own cold, wet lips
Hermione waited for that feeling of floating away that she had felt when she had kissed Draco…but it didn't come
Hermione moved her hands from his shoulders, and wrapped her arms around Harry's neck instead, desperately trying to recreate that feeling
Harry placed his hands on Hermione's waist, not questioning her fervency…he was still, despite the fact he was the-boy-who-just-damn-well-wouldn't-die, a man, and at a certain point a man begins to stop thinking with their brain and think more below the waist.
Hermione took the kiss deeper, searching franticly for just a sliver of the pleasure she had felt with Draco…but she couldn't find it
No where
She tore her lips from Harry's and took a step back, away from the forest
She understood now
She didn't love Harry the way she once had
She loved Draco
Her heart filled with warm joy and she could see, with crystal clarity, what she had to do
She had to go back to Draco
::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Draco's head snapped up
The warmth that Hermione had felt echoed through him
The shards of his heart pieced back together
And he stood
He threw his head back and laughed, long and hard
Hermione loved him
And she was coming back
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Now!" whispered Voldemort and he cast the spell
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"I'm sorry Harry." Hermione whispered sadly "I can't go with you."
She looked at Harry, wanting to see if he could understand
She saw a flash of pain right before his eyes glowed red
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that my dear." A sibilant voice hissed
A voice that Hermione recognized from her nightmares
Before Hermione could turn to run Harry's hand seized her wrist and began to drag her into the forest
"DRACO!" She screamed
…but Draco couldn't hear her over the joy in his heart
AN: Alright that was Chapter Ten. I'm almost finished! So we have three more chapters that's fourteen chapters in total if you count chapter nine part two…which I am since is. I can't believe my first fic is almost finished wipes tear from eye I'm so proud of myself.
OA: (oh yes for you peeps who didn't know OA stands for OtakuAnnie. Yes…get it?) Well…when I'm done with this fic I'm going to finish writing From the Ground Up another Hermione/ Draco fic…actually I wanted to write a Hatsuharu/Thoru and a Wendy/Captain Hook…although I kind of want to do a Ginny/Tom Riddle fic…but I'm not sure if I can write several stories at once, the updates would definitely be longer apart but…I HAVE SUCH AMAZING IDEAS!!!!!!
Draco: stares at OA aghast you…have…absolutely…NO LIFE!
OA:…well no SOCIAL life…but I AM breathing…which for me is quite the accomplishment considering it's summer. OMG my school starts August 30th! I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!!!! Although I am happy because I'm starting a new school and leaving all the Twinkies at my old school behind YES!
Draco: SHUT UP!...God don't you EVER stop talking?
OA:…sometimes I have to stop to catch my breath (does that count?)
Draco: AHHHHHHHH God I hate you!
OA: baby I don't care if you hate me…I still get to write about you any way I want…maybe I'll write a smut scene with you and me!
Draco: shudders I…would…kill…you
OA: …but who wants to read about me…no one…plus it would be like…porn or something…although technically a lot of fics ARE porn…I just can't do it…my privet school inhibitions are staying with me
Hermione: stops kissing Harry long enough to look at author how was it? Was it different than public school? Was the teaching style different? Did you wear uniforms?
OA: oh god! The world's ugliest plaid skirts-
Draco: disembowels author to shut her up, locks her in a trunk and leaves her in the alley for the trash man to pick up in the morning
Hermione: giggles Hey I wanted to hear about the ugly skirts
Draco: Oh shut up and go back to snogging your bloody Potter
Hermione: Okay…but I am not doing it because you told me to snoggs Harry
OA: ewwww make it stop mommy!
REVIEW or I will sick my army of flying monkeys on you…and if you escape them than the Magical Dust Bunny Squad will take care of you.
