And If By Chance ...
By: Samu-chan
Rating: PG -13
Warnings: Slavery (Not beating and field working until you die slavery mind you. ^^; )
A/N: Not much to say.
I know I said this story was on hold, but I couldn't help myself. ^^; This time...
I'm gonna put it in all three POV's in, and it'll probably make more sense as
you read on.
And If By Chance ... It's Only You
I missed being around him. Refraining myself from him ... it didn't help any. He saw me broken. I refused to let him or Yuki come with me to the store, and I got hurt. He was the one ... I didn't want depressed or be upset with me. I noted that Sohma-kun and Shigure-kun seemed fine with my attitude. Of course it really hadn't changed, but I had to try so much harder to keep going.
The day he walked passed me and into the forest, I couldn't help but follow. Something tugged me. I knew he'd probably be mad at me for following him. When he finally did come to a stop, and I first let him know I was there, he snapped at me ... like I had predicted. He was mad with me. I guess that was my fault anyway. He had muttered once to me, that I should tell people what I want.
I hate wanting, but it slipped out. I wanted to talk to him. It hurt not too. He seemed wary of me, but let me sit next to him, and I let it all out. I felt bad for laying it all on him, in the first place, but he didn't seem to mind. When I put my hand on his, and he touched my arm in comfort, I felt happy, truly happy once again. I didn't have to try to smile when we reached home.
" It's okay. I'm okay. And you'll be great. You did nothing wrong. You are still innocent and clean, no one can take that away from you."
His words were so heart filled. I no longer felt bad ... or guilty. What he said was strong. Like he is. I was thrilled to see him eat again. And the next few weeks were just as wonderful. I spent more time with him again, and didn't have to sacrifice time with the other Somas. I got to really know Momiji, the rabbit of the family. Kyou never did get along with him though, but never did hurt him.
I wouldn't have changed my life. To live here was more than enough, with my new family. But change always comes.
Shigure-kun came home a few days before the month of August began. I noticed he seemed to be upset about something. He motioned me to follow him into the next room, Sohma-kun and Kyou-kun both watching us. It was a rare sight I supposed to see Shigure-kun so out of character.
"Tohru ... I've got bad news. Akito has decided that you are to leave the house and not come back." I froze. My mind swirled and hazed, far worse than the walk from my original home. I had to leave. Leave everything that had grown so fond on me. I remembered he wasn't finished, so I returned my gaze to him. Part of my mind still traveled to the thought of leaving everything behind.
"This morning though ... I guess this is good news. I met your father. He and your mother ... are going to come get you." Now I wasn't sure how to react. The thought of seeing my parents was over joking, but part of me ... hurt. I nibbled on my bottom lip as Kyou-kun and Sohma-kun entered the room. I didn't hear Shigure-kun explaining the situation to them, but Sohma-kun's voice brought me back to reality.
"That's good to hear. You'll be with your family again." My smile was misplaced. I felt more sad than anything else. I looked for Kyou-kun, but he left the room. I sighed inwardly, chatting with Shigure-kun for a few more minutes. Until I couldn't take it anymore...
"Excuse me. I need to..." I didn't plan this escape all too well, but both of them nodded and I raced out of the room. I could feel my tears welling in my eyes. Yet I could still see the ladder in front of me. I knew he was up there. I wasn't sure if he'd be happy to see me either, but I didn't want to shut myself away from him again. I was drawn up the ladder.
And he was there, as I knew. I didn't finish the climb, just stood there clinging to the ladder. His eyes were closed, arms behind his head. He looked ... stiff. I lost my footing once again, and let out a small squeal. This time, it wasn't as much of a surprise, and yet I still let out a gasp, watching the ground suddenly pull farther away from me, and my knees touching the roof.
I couldn't bring myself to look up at him. He just stood in front of me. I could sense his arms crossed and his cold stare. But he didn't say anything. I think that was what hurt most. The tears this time didn't hold back. I buried my face into my hands, and just cried. I was happy about going home, but something hurt far worse than I ever thought it would. All my dreams about going home... when this is my home.
~*~
More or less I was shocked. I just got her to open up to me once again and ... it didn't matter. I wasn't sure if I was angry about having to lose her ... or the fact that she'd be happier with her family than around the others and me. She had certainly looked happy here, but I was no one when it came to being with her real family.
I felt bad enough for running out on her. I felt even worse when I sensed her presence on the ladder. She was the only one to climb that ladder and make that much noise at the same time. Part of me felt … thrilled. After I pulled her up onto the roof, I sat back down, staring at the sky. I couldn't think of anything to say to her. To calm her, or make her feel better, nothing. I was never good at that kind of stuff. I fight. It's all I've ever been able to really too.
She sat there, next to me, in silence as well. She didn't seem to mind. I liked having her near me. I finally hit me that this really could be the last time I got to see her. I glanced at her, to find she had closed her eyes and looking like she was out. No reason for her not to be. It was far from easy today. I don't know how attached she is to us, but knowing her, she'd care no matter what.
I sighed softly, reaching out towards her, just laying my hand on the side of her face. She didn't jump or open her eyes, she snuggled her face into my hand, muttering something about family. She… was family to me. Every time I pushed away, she came back.
" I love you."
~*~
We both fell asleep on the roof that night, for the next morning, I found myself transformed, lying on Tohru's stomach. She was awake already, stroking my fur and it took myself a moment to realize I was purring. She noticed I was awake, and started to find a way to apologize.
"It's alright. I don't mind." She simply watched me a moment, before smiling brightly. I loved that of hers. After a few minutes of content silence, I rolled of her stomach, and she must have gotten the hint.
" I'll go and start breakfast. I'll see you in a bit." I nodded, feeling my transformation wear off just as her head disappeared from view. Good timing. I took no time into gathering up my clothing and slipping into my window to change. I practically raced down the stairs, greeted by my worst fear. Tohru turned to face, before looking at the ground.
" Kyou, these are my parents."
~*~
I guess it surprised him. He didn't say anything at first, just looked at my parents and then me. Tension in the room had grown so thick I wasn't sure I could move. My parents spoke to Shigure-kun while Kyou-kun remained mostly to himself. I stood there, as though I didn't belong anymore.
The more I thought about it, the harder it became. To think that this place so dear to me will no longer be my home. Before long, my parents sat down at the table with Shigure-kun and Sohma-kun as well. Before I knew it, I found myself in the kitchen, staring straight down at the sink.
I didn't realize until a moment later, that Kyou-kun was standing behind. His breathing was indifferent, almost nervous. I turned to face him, but his eyes were hidden under his bangs. I wanted him to look at me. He was my strength right now, even though I was afraid to tell him that. I didn't want to burden him with the thought of it all.
" I told you last night, but you… already fell asleep." I tilted my head slightly. Told me … what? I thought deep in my mind. I thought it had been a dream, but if what he was saying was…
I looked up at him once again. He wasn't looking at me still, but I could see his eyes. They looked deep, troubled even. At first I thought it was because I refused to respond, but then he looked at me, his mouth open, but unable to give any sound. He's trying to tell me something.
I took the last few steps to stand in front of him, putting both my hands on the side of his head, gently making him look at me.
" I love you too."
~*~
The rest of the evening was a blur to the Sohma family. Before any of them knew it, Tohru was standing in the doorway, between her parents as she waved. A few tears sat in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She was smiling, one arm from each parent around her. As quickly as everything turned around, they were gone.
No longer any sight of the Honda family on the road. Shigure closed the door, looking at the two boys standing there. Yuki standing straight, arms crossed over his chest. Kyou stared off into another direction, slouching slightly without a sound.
" T-Tohru?"
" I mean it Kyou-kun. I love you."
" I love you too."
That was it.
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Oh should I? I could leave this as it is … or I could go on…. Oh the possibilities! Please R&R!
