In which Harry is very dull and not really angry. He eats dinner and finally gets to hear what's been going on. Yup.
Goood morning, campers! (And a cookie to anyone who can tell me what movie that's from.) This is the first chapter I've written since finishing the book and finding out who dies. It is also the first chapter I've written with not only the friends I send this to in mind, but the people here on fanfiction.net too. I shall try to not let either of these factors taint my writing.
***
THE odor OF THE moldy PHOENIX headquarters
Intro: Yada yada, yakkity yak, read the above line.
SIRIUS: Yup, Harry, that's my mum.
HARRY: Uh, Sirius, we dealt with that in the last parody.
SIRIUS: Oops, sorry Harry, transfer shock.
HARRY: Don't worry about it. It was a lousy parody before you got here.
SIRIUS: So anyway Harry, all the purebloods are interrelated and most of them are evil. The ones that aren't are kicked out of the family.
(HARRY is CONFUSED.)
HARRY: So are you kicked out or not? Cos you don't like your family, but you're an escaped convict.
SIRIUS: Uh, I 'm kicked out.
HARRY: Oh. Should I say sorry?
SIRIUS: The script doesn't say anything about you being apologetic. I think you're still a little angry.
HARRY: Go figure.
(They go downstairs to the KITCHEN. It is occupied by MISCELLANEOUS WEASLEYS, TONKS, and MUNDUNGUS. MRS. WEASLEY expresses her DISLIKE of the last. MORE WEASLEYS arrive. They EAT DINNER. The GENTLE READERS are slightly bored, but COMFORTED by TONKS'S ABUSE of her extremely RARE POWERS. FINALLY things get INTERESTING as the never-failing SIRIUS ADVANCES THE PLOT.)
MRS. WEASLEY: Sirius, Harry is a sweet little boy who has only defeated You-Know-Who two, three, FOUR times. He's not ready to know what's going on!
SIRIUS: Nonsense. Anyway, I like him more than you so I have the right to decide.
(They BICKER back and forth. Finally LUPIN steps in and SOUNDS NEUTRAL but really ALLIES WITH SIRIUS.)
MRS. WEASLEY: Fine, everybody else, OUT!
MUNDUNGUS: I'm a member of the Order!
MRS. WEASLEY: Shut up, you have mysteriously disappeared from this scene!
FRED AND GEORGE: We're of age!
RON AND HERMIONE: We'll find out anyway!
GINNY: I'm uber cool!
(In the end, only GINNY has to leave. The GENTLE READERS have the impression that DUMBLEDORE isn't the only one LOSING POWER these days. The ADULTS repeat VARIOUS TIDBITS that we already heard from FRED and GEORGE, but in a different order so it sounds like NEW MATERIAL and the GENTLE READERS are not BORED. This attempt FAILS MISERABLY. FINALLY, SIRIUS, once again proves himself ENDLESSLY COOL.)
SIRIUS: So anyway Harry, Voldemort's after a secret weapon!
GENTLE READERS: How original.
MRS. WEASLEY: SIRIUS! Go to bed, everyone! And don't ever discuss this again!
(The GENTLE READERS wonder if she actually thinks she has any chance of SUCCESS.)
***
This wasn't such a great chapter, and it was short. Sorry. Still a little depressed over the death, as it was one of the few characters I would be truly heartbroken to lose. And there wasn't a whole lot to make fun of. I did my best with the Molly/Sirius tension. I also noticed that Mundungus did indeed mysteriously disappear halfway through, heh heh. Correct me if he didn't.
Goood morning, campers! (And a cookie to anyone who can tell me what movie that's from.) This is the first chapter I've written since finishing the book and finding out who dies. It is also the first chapter I've written with not only the friends I send this to in mind, but the people here on fanfiction.net too. I shall try to not let either of these factors taint my writing.
***
THE odor OF THE moldy PHOENIX headquarters
Intro: Yada yada, yakkity yak, read the above line.
SIRIUS: Yup, Harry, that's my mum.
HARRY: Uh, Sirius, we dealt with that in the last parody.
SIRIUS: Oops, sorry Harry, transfer shock.
HARRY: Don't worry about it. It was a lousy parody before you got here.
SIRIUS: So anyway Harry, all the purebloods are interrelated and most of them are evil. The ones that aren't are kicked out of the family.
(HARRY is CONFUSED.)
HARRY: So are you kicked out or not? Cos you don't like your family, but you're an escaped convict.
SIRIUS: Uh, I 'm kicked out.
HARRY: Oh. Should I say sorry?
SIRIUS: The script doesn't say anything about you being apologetic. I think you're still a little angry.
HARRY: Go figure.
(They go downstairs to the KITCHEN. It is occupied by MISCELLANEOUS WEASLEYS, TONKS, and MUNDUNGUS. MRS. WEASLEY expresses her DISLIKE of the last. MORE WEASLEYS arrive. They EAT DINNER. The GENTLE READERS are slightly bored, but COMFORTED by TONKS'S ABUSE of her extremely RARE POWERS. FINALLY things get INTERESTING as the never-failing SIRIUS ADVANCES THE PLOT.)
MRS. WEASLEY: Sirius, Harry is a sweet little boy who has only defeated You-Know-Who two, three, FOUR times. He's not ready to know what's going on!
SIRIUS: Nonsense. Anyway, I like him more than you so I have the right to decide.
(They BICKER back and forth. Finally LUPIN steps in and SOUNDS NEUTRAL but really ALLIES WITH SIRIUS.)
MRS. WEASLEY: Fine, everybody else, OUT!
MUNDUNGUS: I'm a member of the Order!
MRS. WEASLEY: Shut up, you have mysteriously disappeared from this scene!
FRED AND GEORGE: We're of age!
RON AND HERMIONE: We'll find out anyway!
GINNY: I'm uber cool!
(In the end, only GINNY has to leave. The GENTLE READERS have the impression that DUMBLEDORE isn't the only one LOSING POWER these days. The ADULTS repeat VARIOUS TIDBITS that we already heard from FRED and GEORGE, but in a different order so it sounds like NEW MATERIAL and the GENTLE READERS are not BORED. This attempt FAILS MISERABLY. FINALLY, SIRIUS, once again proves himself ENDLESSLY COOL.)
SIRIUS: So anyway Harry, Voldemort's after a secret weapon!
GENTLE READERS: How original.
MRS. WEASLEY: SIRIUS! Go to bed, everyone! And don't ever discuss this again!
(The GENTLE READERS wonder if she actually thinks she has any chance of SUCCESS.)
***
This wasn't such a great chapter, and it was short. Sorry. Still a little depressed over the death, as it was one of the few characters I would be truly heartbroken to lose. And there wasn't a whole lot to make fun of. I did my best with the Molly/Sirius tension. I also noticed that Mundungus did indeed mysteriously disappear halfway through, heh heh. Correct me if he didn't.
