Teen Titans Auto Crash Derby- "Viva la Bam" Style Chapter 1- The idea
That's right, my sister and I were up until six in the morning planning this. When a few new members join the ranks of the Teen Titans, all becomes chaos. We've got a pyromaniac, the rich daughter of Bruce Wayne, a witty and sarcastic surfer, a drunken genius, and yet another comic Changeling. All armed with platinum cards, each titan has exactly twenty-four hours to buy a car, trick it out, and smash their buddies. Viva la BAM!
Just so you know, I don't own Teen Titans, "Viva La Bam", "Pop Goes the Weasel", "Hummers", "Lizabeth" (who belongs to my sister, Alex), "Transformers", or Bob Dole. All will become clear...
New titans-
Name: Michael Stuntman
Alias: Pyro
Age: 16
Ability: He can create and control fire.
Name: Chanelle Leone
Alias: Birdra
Age: 16
Ability: She can fly and communicate with birds.
Name: Piper Oceanne
Alias: Hydra
Age: 15
Ability: She can control water.
Name: Myron Welch
Alias: Mathis
Age: 14
Ability: He's a genius with a super-powered body suit.
Name: Mali Simmons
Alias: Animalia
Age: 13
Ability: She has the ability of animal transfiguration.
--
The last few days had been really slow since the new titans had joined. Crime had been practically swept off the streets. They were that good.
The leader appeared to be Michael, who was a natural-born pyromaniac as well as a jock at school. His girlfriend was Chanelle, the flesh and blood of Bruce Wayne himself, who preferred to maintain her mother's maiden name. She was particularly intriguing to Robin. She was half-French and very spoiled, but still loved her dove, Cloudy. Then there was Piper. With her wicked blue and purple hair, she was a swimmer. She loved messing with the guys, especially Cyborg. Myron, her best friend, had a little alcohol addiction. He even created an age enhancing simulator machine that produced him a fake I.D. when he inserted a photograph. Believe it or not, he never got a hangover. Mali, however, was an odd one. She, like Beast Boy, was a Changeling through and through. What with the green skin, and the pointy ears, and everything. She had just as an annoying personality as he did, and it's quite ironic that they were childhood playmates.
Now, the new titans lounged around the tower with Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy. God knows what Raven and Starfire were up to.
"Are you guys bored? Because I'm bored," Mali complained. She was currently lying on the couch upside down, her long black hair cascading over her shoulders and skimming the carpet.
"Like a 2X4, dude..." Beast Boy groaned, ironically positioned the exact same way as his female counterpart. Save the luxurious black hair and mini-skirt.
"Beast Boy?" Starfire called, poking her orange head into the room. "A package has arrived for you."
"Awesome! Must be one of my many admiring fans!" he gloated to Mali, nudging her in the ribs. She grabbed his waist and yanked his green self off the couch. He rose and dusted himself off. "Don't be so rough with me! I'm delicate!" he griped, exiting the room.
"Hey, I've got an idea, guys. Listen up," Piper piped, a catlike smile creeping across her face.
"What are you thinking, Piper?" asked Robin as he gave her a suspicious sideways glance.
"Well, we all know Chanelle is filthy stinking rich, right?" she lured.
"Yeah..." they sang.
"And she's loaded with credit cards, correct?"
"Correct..."
"Have you guys ever seen 'Viva la Bam' on TV?" she asked. Cyborg jumped up.
"Oh, that's that show where the rich skate guy and his homies trash the uncle's car and he yells at him and they built a skate ramp in that guys parking lot and they launched the other man's car into a tree and they made that lady eat the cereal and-" he rambled while the others continued their fruitfully flourishing conversation. Until Beast Boy returned, that is.
"Hey, did you guys go on without me? I call rewinds!" declared the green boy.
Meanwhile, Myron was tampering with Cyborg's wires to make him go into silent mode.
"Ummm... Did I miss something?" Beast Boy asked.
"Only evolution. You're stuck in the primate era," Mali chuckled. Beast Boy then appealed to his friend's fantasy and transformed into a little green monkey and rested on her shoulder.
"Guys, I say we coax some cards out of the little drip and do our own car crash derby like they did on 'Viva la Bam'!" suggested Piper.
"Well, who here can drive?" Myron asked skeptically. Cyborg, Michael and Piper raised their hands.
"Okay... Who here can drive legally?" Piper's hand reluctantly drifted back to her side.
"Okay, problem. Some of us are only twelve," Beast Boy objected as he returned to his human form. Of course, the force of his weight caused he and Mali to slide off the blue couch and onto the floor.
"No, only you, ding. You should be in the Pre-Teen Titans, little dude," Mali supposed, digging her index finger into his green cheeks, implanting temporary dimples on either side of his mouth.
"Myron, my friend, that is where you must come in," Michael said smoothly with his muscular arm around Myron's brunette head. "You'll make everyone fake ID's."
"Why should I do you a favor, Michael?" he asked disgustedly, shrugging Michael off of him. "After I've spent everyday in the trash can during lunch since first grade at your dispense?" Michael pondered the paradox a moment.
"Because I love you?" he concluded.
"Oh, please..." mumbled Myron as he lifted his hand of off his neck.
"Yo, BB? What did you get, anyway?" Cyborg asked once he got his sound-system back on. Everyone leaned in when Beast Boy didn't respond.
"Who, me?" he asked bluntly.
"No, the OTHER MUTANT GRASS STAIN!" the walking soda machine screamed.
"Oh, so you mean Mali," Beast Boy said, pointing to the lanky girl, who was hurriedly stuffing her face with her back turned to our friends. She made a tiny whining sound as she turned around with bits of something scattered on her face. "What the... Are you eating... Tofu?"
"Mmmm..." she thought, her large blue eyes lingering.
"No, Mali, no!!" he cried, pouncing on his fellow Changeling, choking her and shaking her by the neck.
"Beast Boy, what are you doing? There's enough tofu for the both of you!" Robin tried to convince, restraining his friend.
"Mali is allergic to tofu!" he stuttered, breathing deeply.
"Well, if you're allergic to tofu, what do you eat?" Michael asked. Mali swallowed her mouthful.
"Cat food. That and garden salads from McDonalds," she replied. Then she fainted.
"Uh... Is she going to be okay?" Myron asked. Beast Boy shrugged as he nudged her behind the couch with his foot.
"Tell us what you got before I have to put a collar on you," threatened Cyborg bluntly.
"Oh! Right! A video camera! Someone left me a video camera! See?" Beast Boy thrilled. He held a nice silver camera out in front of him. Piper snatched it, her purple eyes shining with brilliance.
"This is perfect!" she beamed.
"Be careful with that! There's a recording of a totally hot chick confessing her undying love for me on there. She gave me her phone number."
Piper quickly scanned the contraption and pushed a small red button. "Not anymore!" she said with a toothy grin. Beast Boy's jaw hung open in disbelief. "BB, could you tape our derby?"
"No way!" he cried. "I want to SMASH SOME CARS!" He then let out a very nice evil laugh. "Um, find someone else." Everyone's eyes slowly drifted to Myron.
"No... I may be an alcoholic, but I'm not that drunk!" he protested.
"And that martini in his hand really vouches for a lot..." mumbled Robin. "Hard to believe he's the brains of the outfit."
"Yeah, I know," Michael added, finger impaled in nose.
"We need to find a simple-minded fool who will willingly operate this device..." Piper pondered.
Suddenly, Mali shot up and fell into Beast Boy's lap.
"Hello, love..." she mumbled.
"Well... That's convenient..." muttered Beast Boy as he pushed her off him.
"Mali! You know, incredibly, your height and excellent creative eye give us the perfect angle to-"
"Cut the theatrics, Myron. Big words may confuse that other green bean, but remember- I'm a whole year older than he is. Besides, I heard everything and I want to have the pleasure of wrecking him myself."
"... I didn't use any big words."
Starfire walked in and began looking around. She checked behind Cyborg, underneath Michael, and lifted up the couch.
"Uh... Star? What're you looking for?" Robin asked.
"Robin, have you seen the Tameranian dehydrated tentacle flakes? I wish to prepare a celebratory squid beverage for our new friends!" she cried happily. Myron, Michael, Piper, and Mali glanced at each other and scooted into a corner.
"I'm not eating any octopuses..." Michael whispered, shuddering.
"Squids, idiot. They're two different creatures," Myron scolded.
"I can't eat it anyway. I was a squid once. They're pretty cool, besides the accidental... Inking..." Mali explained, blushing slightly.
"Let me handle this..." Piper sighed, running to the auburn-headed alien girl. "Star, my good friend! Do you know how to turn this thing on?" she asked with her arm around the girl as she snatched Beast Boy's new camera.
"No, Piper. I am afraid I am unaware of how to operate this... Object," Starfire informed her.
"Push this button..." hinted Cyborg.
"There! Now you know how! Congratulations, Star! Now you're the proud owner of a brand new video camera!" Piper announced.
"Hey..." protested Beast Boy.
"Silencio, por favor," Piper said sternly to Beast Boy accenting each syllable. She turned to the others and added, "Yes that's right. I'm speaking Spanish."
"How does that handle our octopus problem?" Michael whispered.
"Squid," corrected Myron stubbornly.
"Yeah, whatever."
"Go put yourself to some use and lift something heavy."
"Okay, I'll go get Chanelle," announced Michael as he left the room, patting Beast Boy on the head.
"... She weighs, like, a hundred pounds..."
"Come on, My. Michael can't even count that high," Piper informed him.
"How'd he make it into high school?"
"He's been cheating off you."
He returned shortly with the attractive sixteen-year-old with thigh-length black hair and a scattered freckled face. A white dove rested on her shoulder.
"Nelle, we were wondering how many spare cards you have on you right now..." Piper thought, leaning forward on the couch and reaching over to pet the bird. It bit her. Chanelle gave her a sly look.
"How many do you need?" she asked, opening her authentic leather purse.
"Let's see... Two... Four... Six... Seven, Nelle. We need seven. Oh, and you shouldn't care if they get maxed."
"You're lucky I like your hair," commented Chanelle as she passed the shinning cards over to Piper, who distributed them amongst the competitors. "Um, just out of curiosity... What are you guys planning on doing?"
"We're going to buy cars..." Myron answered.
"Oh!"
"...And then we're going to WRECK THEM!"
"...Oh." She left the room, shaking her head and rubbing her temples, muttering something about crazy Americans and moving back to France with her mother.
"Okay. Everyone has twenty-four hours. I say we get this show on the road..." Michael suggested as he rubbed his hands together eagerly. That, however, triggered his power. Giant flames exploded from his palms. He blushed as red as the fire and concealed his hands behind his back.
"...Idiot..." Myron mumbled.
"Let the games begin..." Cyborg chuckled.
--
Well, there you have it. The first chapter in our little Viva la Bam! Teen Titans story book thing. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm sorry if I haven't updated my OLS fic, but I've been having major writers' block on that and my sisters have been pressuring me to get this up... Either way, my floppy disk is basically dead, so I don't have the latest chapter of my OLS fic with me- the only existing copy is on Fan Fiction. That's sort of a set back. Oh well. I'll get to it soon! Promise! Next chapter, they all go get their cars! See you later! This has been Chocolate Usagi!
I just got a trampoline! Whee! Why haven't I ever owned one of these things before? They're the greatest inventions on EARTH! ï
