The Little Misshapen Teal Book

by Cricket

Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies or Snipeshooter.

Chapter One- All About Me (For Once!)

Well, Mrs. Green gave us this weird ass assignment to write in our journal's once a day, which makes no sense. What's it supposed to do, build character? Nah. Fights, now those build character. If ya' go into a fight with a big ego, it'll pop it like a balloon. That's what buildin' character is...I think.

But I'm supposed to write about me. Free write about me. Now that never happens. Its always about Jack or Davey or Mush or Spot or Les or Blink or even Pie Eater but never about Snipeshooter! Nah, Snipe ain't good enough for everyone else. I ain't appreciated. I'm just around for people to tease me and call me little. I ain't so little now, huh? Yeah, eat that! I got into your stupid high school English class 'cause I'm smart enough, so maybe you all would consider me an equal but no. I'm just a tagalong.

Phew...maybe I should stop...damn, I got twelve more minutes!

Fine. My name's Samuel Alexander Morris. Yeah, its a fancy name meaning that my parents left me on a street corner when I could barely say my name. A nice old lady, my "gram," took me in, fed me. I met up with the guys not long after. Where does the nickname come from, you ask? Its a long story, but I got eleven more minutes so I might as well write it down.

Since I was younger than all the guys, they convinced me that I needed to pass a test to see if I could be part of the group, which wasn't true. I was gullible, so I went along with it. Jack told me some cock and bull story about how I had to catch a Snipe, which is kinda like a mouse and kinda like a mole, but mostly like a badger. Its about a foot in length with a long tail like a mouse's but it has bigger teeth and really, really huge ass claws. I agreed. I mean, how hard could it be to find a huge rodent in New York?

Well, I took my sword and my slingshot with me and snuck into one of the sewers when no one was looking. It was the worse smelling place in the entire world! I never thought that anywhere could smell so bad! Yeah, it is shit but it was worse smelling than normal shit. If rats have such good smell, why do they stay in smelly sewers? Anyways, I kept my eyes out for the Snipe. Finally, I saw something so I whipped out my slingshot and hit it twice. It slowed down, so I chased it for what seemed like for forever. Finally, when I caught it, I smacked it with my sword until it stopped moving. They never did say I had to catch a live one...

So, I climbed out of the manhole and somehow ended up in Central Park, in the middle of the night. I found my way back, woke up Jack, and shoved the dead Snipe on his chest. He screamed like a little girl! I mean, it was like he'd never seen one before. Once he got over the dead animal, he admitted that there was no such thing as a Snipe and they used it as a ploy to shut me up. The thing I had brought back was just a huge ass rat. And so, I got named Snipeshooter. After that day, Jack wasn't too mean to me. Well, not as much as everybody else. I guess he's just afraid I'll stick another rat in his bed...

A/N I love Snipe. I just had to do it. Make sure you look at the others in the Little (Color) Book Series!