Act 3

Part 7: The end of it all

Alright, alright, alright! You might be thinking that by now, your readers will have thrown their virtual devices against the wall in agony because you have blatantly refused to give their One True Pairing the happy ending they deserve.

"Oh why, dear writer, did you pull the shag rug of their fuzzy warm love from underneath their feet?" they'll cry between sobs in the coffee break room at work later that day.

Trust me, your readership will not give up on you so quickly if you can really tug their heartstrings in the third act one last time, making the inevitable happy end that much more satisfying. And yes, don't even think about killing off one of your MCs or giving them a mediocre open-ended existence after the last chapter of your story. Every marriage law fanfiction must end positively. You don't want people to think that your 'Death Eater x Dumbledore's Army student' slash romance will end in tears.

Crafting a perfect ending is simple. It's equal parts grovelling and equal parts fluff. We begin by stirring doubts in the couple's mind about the breakup. Perhaps they were too rash in their decision to call off the very healthy and satisfying relationship. After all, their love was that 'one of a kind' special love that happens to 0.000001 % of the population. It's the 'easy to love, hard to keep, impossible to forget' kind of romance that has changed your MC's life forever. Your Main Character laments over their loss in a waxing poetic way.

Si tu n'existait pas

If you've ever been through a gruelling breakup, you know how unbearable the first few days, sometimes weeks without your other half are. It didn't matter if they were a noseless megalomaniac, had an animalistic craving for human flesh, or spent their entire life grovelling over their high school ex (who they've never even dated)— your MC has gotten used to their kind of crazy. Now that they're gone, everything reminds them of their partner: the sights, the sounds, the napkin in the trash bin with their lipstick still on it.

"

On Harry's way home from the Wizengameot —the divorce papers signed— flying in Ron's Ford Anglia, the duo stop at Diagon Alley for ice cream. Harry notices that as they pass by the Wizarding Wheezes Joke shop, there is a small box of plastic noses fit for Wiccan kids for sale. Harry sighs deeply, remembering his first gift to his ex-husband Voldemort. I mean, it was their 'inside joke'. Harry'll never look at a plastic nose the same way again. How could he ever forget?

"

Papa don't preach

Your MC decides to seek solace with the people who've always supported and loved them: their friends and family. Unfortunately, those very people are still living in the past and try hard to convince your character that their ex-spouse was the worst thing that happened to them. It's not that easy. Your character's normal world has been *rocked* by the realization that morally grey characters can be good people and now — they can no longer live like their naive past selves. Aiming to convince their friends and family, your MC's opinion sparks heated debate.

"

"Papa!" Lavender cries. "I love him, I love him, I LOVE HIM!"

"You don't understand a damn thing about love," says her father. "That Greyback was nothing more than a cur dog. More useless than tits on a boar hog."

"That cur dog was my husband, and he was more of a man than anyone I've ever dated in Hogwarts," says Lavender. "I need to find my Fennie and tell him how I really feel."

"

Finally, the plot decides to give our two idiots star-crossed paramours a chance only now, the playing field is levelled and there are no more power imbalances or coercion. When they get together —which will happen during the last few chapters of your story — it will only be by personal choice and mutual respect.

But — and there's always a but—there is an external issue that must be dealt with prior to the reconciliation. It's the only thing that is still keeping both members of your OTP in each others' lives right now. Once dealt with, your couple will be free to decide whether their love was based on achieving democracy or based on true feelings. If you're having a tough time choosing the issue or are in a creative slump, refer back to your first few chapters. Also, here are some common issues that might inspire you:

Voldemort's final Horcrux must be destroyed to free your Love Interest from their Death Eater Service

The sex-curse binding your couple can be lifted with means of an ancient ritual

The last leg of the Final Battle for Hogwarts needs the help of the werewolves

A dip into your Love Interest's past can teach them to let go of the trauma holding them back from making the worst decision of their life

We're all in this together

What better way to end your epic love story than with a reenactment of the Final Battle? Some might call it 'cliche' or 'overdone', but it's really just paying homage to The Deathly Hallows —a clever tip of the hat to canon. Nobody will be bored out of their mind re-reading the final installment of the Harry Potter series because you have *surely* attributed your own personal touch to the event.

Bring in members of the OG Harry Potter cast to participate and spare no budget on theatrics. We're ending this with a blast. Try not to make this sequence last longer than a chapter; you want to skip over the boring parts as fast as possible to the juicy bits.

"

It's time, Lucius thinks to himself as he ties up his hair and buttons his robes. In a few hours, he's standing in the Hogwarts courtyard where it had once ended and all began. Behind him is an army of students and reformed Death Eaters. It's all rather surreal— seeing the lot of them side by side. There's Lavander Brown, the innocent girl, beside Greyback— the deadliest werewolf of all time. There's Hermione Granger and his old friend Severus, the surly Potions Master. There's his son Draco and Ginevra, the only Weasley girl that had ever captured a Malfoy's heart in ten generations. Even Harry Potter is there, smiling his smarmy smile.

Lucius nods to Luna—Miss Lovegood— on his right.

"May the fortune of Qilins bring us luck," she says surely, patting the amulets on her chest.

"Of course." Lucius smiles, his heart beating quickly in his chest. This might be the last time he's ever going to stand this close to his blonde-haired ex-wife. The woman that he loved—still loves, but will never have again.

Out of the shadows Apparates the Dark Lord with his snake Nagini slithering between his boots. Behind him are his trusty followers including Bellatrix and Peter Pettigrew.

"Ah Lucius, my slippery friend. Another day, another galleon?" he hisses. "Surprised you are still alive after Cissy's death. I would have thought you'd have hung yourself like that second pitiful Weasley twin."

"Because I have something worth living for," Lucius murmurs, wand at the ready, hoping he isn't looking at Luna as he speaks. It strikes a nerve with him that the Dark Lord would casually bring up Narcissa's passing, Voldemort being the one that killed her.

Nagini slithers towards Lucius; the eldest Malfoy already sees her scaly body on a shawarma rotisserie stick inside the Manor as he points his wand at her. At that moment, the Longbottom boy comes out from his hiding place in the shadows.

"Aww hell naw, this one's mine!" he cries and slashes her head off with the sword of Gryffindor. Voldemort hollers like a Mandrake root as the snake's head rolls before his eyes and the rest of his followers charge into battle. There is blood and guts flying left, right and center as magic spells whirl through the air.

Voldemort comes for Lucius, but Harry intercepts with his signature Expelliarmus .

"Come on Tom. Let's finish this the way we started— together," The Boy Who Continues To Live Despite All Obstacles cries as he embraces the fellow and they fly through the sky in a black cloud of magic and lust.

"

Someone must die

Not your OTP, of course, but someone less significant or non-human, but valuable to the audience at large. This will showcase your abilities to write realistic stories that are not all sparkles and rainbows and will give your couple a chance to realize the shortness of life. Bonded over the passing of a dear friend, the preciousness of their love will amplify.

"

Severus stands over the body of Mimsy, his House Elf — bleeding profusely over the Malfoys' expensive carpet in the Manor. It was, perhaps, the only thing the Potions Master ever really loved more than brooding over Lily Evans. Oh, why did that stupidly valiant creature have to step before Bellatrix's Avada Kedavra, saving both him and Hermione in the process?

"You'll pay for this," Severus says under his breath, his eyes burning with unthinkable rage as they meet Bella's. He stands tall and stares the crazy witch down, his voice travelling faster than his wand. " Avada Kedavraaa!"

A green lightning bolt zips through the air. Bellatrix's eyes go blank and her lifeless body flies out the window of the Malfoy Manor faster than a banana peel from an ape cage at the Muggle zoo. Now, the light of dawn seeps through the broken glass over Severus and Mimsy. Severus kneels before his faithful elf and closes its eyes with his palm.

"Goodbye, dear friend. You were so much more than a servant to me, and I wish I told you that when you were still alive," he whispers, a tear falling down his cheek.

"

Rowling Ex Machina

Ah, love! It's the most powerful magic of all. It alone is the antidote to all curses, Dark Lords, magical interferences ext. J.K. Rowling said it herself. Never mind that it overrides all logic of her own carefully crafted magic system. So if you've written your couple into the tightest pickle imaginable and have no idea how to...well...un-pickle them, use the interference of love. It saved Harry once, so why wouldn't it work again?

"

As Draco lay dying in the Great Hall after having been shot Rabastan Lestrange, Ginny knelt by his side — tears dropping from her eyes.

"Draco…please," Ginny sobbed, holding his blond head and kissing his forehead. "Don't leave me. I- I love you. I can't live without you."

Her tears rolled down her cheeks and dropped onto his. It couldn't end like this, could it? Not when Ginny had found a love greater than all others she'd ever experienced in her seventeen years of existence on this earth. In a magical moment, Draco coughed up clots of blood and opened his eyes; the power of love had inevitably done its job in saving his life.

"

If all else fails, there is the trusty old….

"Must be magic!"

It's sometimes best to leave something to the imagination of the reader. They can draw their own conclusions as to how a plot point resolution came to be drawing on past experiences. Your job as the writer of your fanfiction is to provide them with a rough outline with just enough bricks to create a structure and let the mind do the rest of the heavy lifting. Because after all, no one cares how your OTP survives or perseveres—all they care about is that they will get their happily ever after in the end.

"

It's all useless and Fenrir all but howls as he scoops up his Lavender's limp body from the cold floor and holds her to his hairy chest. No one survives a fall like that. He whimpers pitifully to the unknown gods, not knowing what else to do. If only there was a way to make her come alive again. Then Fenrir remembers that there is. He begins to sing low and steady.

"Half a pound of tuppenny rice;

Half a pound of treacle;

That's the way the money goes…"

"...pop goes the weasel," finishes Lavender, fluttering her lashes. She's unable to resist her favourite nursery rhyme that her mother once sang to her. It's a true miracle!

"

And of course, once the conflict is resolved, you must bless your readers with a most saccharine happily ever after ending.

If your feelings have changed

Your OTP suddenly believes in love and makes a Mr. Darcy-worthy confession sending your MC into tears of joy.

"

"Darling, there's someone here for you," Xeno calls up the stairs.

His daughter Luna has been bedridden for days, blaming her sour mood on the Hinkypunks. Still, the girl drags herself out of bed, wrapped up in an old quilt and answers the door. Luna's heart skips a beat when she's faced with the platinum-blond Lucius Malfoy.

"May we talk, Miss Lovegood," he murmurs.

"Well…I…yes…I suppose." Luna finds herself completely shocked and for once, not underdressed, before Mr Malfoy. The wizard's trousers are of a faded grey colour and his shirt is stained and carelessly crumpled. She finds herself following him down the steps and down the path leading to the nearby woods. There, they sit on an old wooden bench.

Lucius Malfoy fumbles with his words, twiddling his fingers as he tries to string together a tangible sentence. Standing, he paces before the bench, finally disappearing into the trees. Luna considers leaving, but she's far too curious to hear what he will tell her to budge from her seat. Finally, Mr Malfoy does appear.

"I owe you an apology," he says. "For your mother's accident, for causing harm to your friends, for allowing my son to speak so poorly of Muggle-kind, for helping the Dark Lord and for all other transgressions. I am sorry."

Luna sighs, a gentle smile creeping up her cheeks. "I also have to apologize-"

"-no-"

"-I do," Luna says. "You're the one who built my mother that wonderful gravestone. You organized the movement to defeat the Dark Lord. You've saved my father's life too, I presume. I have you to thank for all of that."

"You understand," Lucius says, "that this was all for you."

The silence between them is filled with the beating of their hearts and their breath making clouds in the cold air.

"Miss Lovegood," Lucius whispers, "If you despise me, say the word and I will never bother you again. However, if your feelings have changed—if you can find it in your heart to forgive me—then do not keep me in the dark."

Luna takes Lucius' hands and gently kisses them. "I love you."

Lucius embraces her, pressing his forehead to hers. "And I love you."

Hand in hand, they walk to the house so that Lucius could ask for Luna's hand in marriage — this time, formally.

"

The epilogue

It's been scientifically proven: the unbeatable way to end your marriage law fanfiction is with a family gathering that takes place a few years after the events of the final chapter. You can choose from Christmas or Spring to host this. Molly's house is notoriously a popular haunt for holding parties. Make sure you invite the entire cast of your fanfic to engage in all sorts of fun activities together:

Baking up a scrumptious feast

Good characters chatting up the Death Eaters and other Dark folk from the wrong side of the tracks

Introducing your secondary OTPs that must be incredibly bizarre and raise all sorts of questions that you will have insufficient time to answer in the epilogue

If you choose to give your OTP offspring and satisfy the bloodthirsty Ministry, make certain to include a fluffy scene with those chits causing mild havoc and showcase your surly characters' phenomenal parenting skills.

"

Five years later

It's a glorious day in the Burrow— perfect for a picnic.

"Severus will you get the…oh, yes, that's the one," says Molly Weasley as the dark and ominous man that once haunted her nightmares appears from the kitchen dressed in knitted pygmy puff socks and sweet pink apron and carrying the punch. Calling him by his first name has become easier once Severus stopped the 'Big, Black Dungeon Bat Who Needs No One' act he had while he was a Hogwarts professor.

Molly has (almost) forgiven Hermione for not marrying her son Ron when the ginger boy came out of the closet and introduced his partner Dean to the Weasleys. Now Molly's certain Severus is the perfect match for the Know-It-All witch.

Hermione waddles out of the house and swats away Severus' helping hands. Her stomach is far too large for her to do anything independently, Severus says (to Hermione's dismay) so now he's taken to mollycoddling her every step of her pregnancy.

The guests are already eating as they approach the gazebo hand in hand. There's Ron Weasley snacking on finger sandwiches as he cuddles up with Dean. He waves at Hermione as she approaches. Parvati Patil and Santi Trelawney (Sybil's long-lost daughter) chat away over tea and tarot cards: both too engorged in starry-eyed conversation to notice Hermione's fertile state of being. Hermione and Severus settle down beside Lavender and Fenrir —the werewolf and their five baby half-cub, half-humans who are devouring everything in sight with their 'healthy, growing appetite".

"Children really are the joy of life," Lavender grins, sharing a kiss with Fenrir. She places a hand on Hermione's tummy. "You're going to be so happy when she comes!"

"He," Hermione says, grinning. "It's a boy."

"Have you agreed on a name?" Fenrir asks.

Severus answers that one. "We've agreed on not naming it after the Headmaster or one of Potters' family members." He glances snidely at Ginny and Draco's son—Albus-Rubeus Sirius—who zooms around the vegetable garden on his miniature broom. All Severus could think about when Draco revealed the name to him was that Draco must love his wife very much to allow her to name their child after the Giant Oaf who Draco once tried to fire.

Hermione playfully slaps Severus on the shoulder, whispering something about Ginny being her friend and all, but it's clear Severus still enjoys getting a reaction out of his wife.

"Mr Potter, I believe, is another friend of my darling wife who has made some….questionable choices," Severus says, sipping his tea. The quartet nods their heads in agreement.

Of course, any pairing was better than Harry Potter and Tom Riddle. The wicked wizard who had tried to kill Harry all his life has now, ironically, become his beloved husband. How that happened, besides the Ministry's involvement, is a mystery to both Severus and Hermione. Molly has refused to let the Dark Lord step, but one foot inside her home, but she allows him to sit on the far end of the garden. Severus secretly sides with Molly on that one, otherwise, he would have to witness an entire evening of Snake-Face locking lips with the Boy Who Lived.

"Who would ever want to marry that bastard," Severus scoffs, shuddering at the thought of his former master's slimy, slithering tongue inside anyone's mouth. "He practically reeks of pureblooded snobbism."

"Speak for yourself." Draco and Ginny approach with a tray of delicious cupcakes in hand. "Not everyone is an irreversible git."

Severus' protests are dulled as Hermione stuffs a mini cupcake into his mouth. It really is the best day of Severus' life, even if he develops Type 2 Diabetes as a result.

"

There you have it folks— the guide to writing an unforgettable Harry Potter Marriage Law fanfiction. We have covered the basic structure, and the major plot points as well as some significant cliches to avoid. After all, you want your fanfiction to be the most original one out there; one that will keep readers coming back for re-reads in the years to come. You are welcome to add your own spice to the progression of events and characterizations inside your masterpiece, but you will find that this guide covers most of the big contenders of the genre. Keep reading. Keep writing. Keep succeeding.

.·:*¨༺ Finite incantatem ༻¨*:·.