Chapter 20 (Part Two)
"You know what, Potter?"
"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me Snivellus. Before you do let me guess, it's not written by you. You're a faker and I liar and I don't know why no one else has ever bothered to do this before."
"Actually its about Lily."
James kicked Snape hard in the side and then leant down to hold his throat. "I told you not to talk about her. You don't even have the right to think about her, especially in the way that you do."
"Oh, but you do? You're no better than me Potter. Why should you get to love her and I have to suffer?" Tears were welling in Snape's eyes but James didn't let go, he didn't stop him from continuing either. "Why do I have to write my feelings down in a book and you get to walk around school holding her hand and blowing her kisses when you're not near her. I bet you dream about her. Well, so do I. The only difference is that your dreams probably don't involve blood and guts and death. They only involve her. Why does she like you when she should love me? Why?"
James stood up and pointed his wand at him. "Your sob story isn't going to help you. It's probably just another lie. An exchange for more lies. You're not smart enough to cheat death. Avada K-"
"Do you think she'll still love you when she finds out you're a killer? Do you think she'll be able to hold your hand when she knows you've taken a life with it? She'll never, ever love you now."
"That's not true." James turned around and saw Lily with her head down. He went to her. She looked up at him; eye's filled with tears that were streaming down her face. "I will never ever stop loving you James. I will never hate you for loving me."
Snape stood up. "You're going to be with this fool, even when he had every intention of killing me just because I love you?"
"You love me? That's disturbing. You wouldn't even know what love is."
"And you do?"
Lily looked back at James whose eyes hadn't left he since he had first seen her. "Yes. I do." She closed her eyes and kissed James' lips with more passion than she had ever felt before. Snape sunk to the ground again and closed his eyes.
"Now that's how you kiss." Kim's voice came from above him. "You don't even have a chance." She gave a laugh and began to walk away. Sirius was close behind her and then Remus tapped James on the shoulder and the three of them walked away also. Snape watched them make their way along the edge of the Forbidden Forest and stood up.
Where were they going? Why weren't they going back to the castle?
He decided to follow them, returning to his old ways of secrets and sneakiness quickly.
Snape stopped him spying when he reached the hut of the Groundskeeper. He looked through the window and watched as Lily dabbed at a cut on James cheek gently and then kissing the skin near it. He then looked at Sirius making jokes to Kim, Remus and Hagrid and he realised that he was never in love with Lily. He never hated James and Sirius. He was jealous. All that he was feeling was jealousy because they were all happy, and he was alone.
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