After a moment he blinked his eyes open and looked at dark clothing. He was lying against someone's chest, his arms trapped against the other, while his bed partner was holding him securely.
Krad blinked again and craned his neck.
He froze.
His eyes widened.
Dark?!
He pushed away with a gasp, dislodging the warmth. He scrambled back, mind whirling. Dark opened his eyes, gazing at him, for a moment as confused as Krad, then he smiled a little.
"Hey. Feeling better?"
Krad opened his mouth, then shut it again. "Why... why are you here?"
"You had a fever. You were freezing."
"So you slept with me?!"
Dark grinned cheekily and Krad felt himself flush. The kaitou reached for him and brushed over Krad's cheek. The demon shivered at the contact.
"Looks like your fever's down," Dark murmured.
Things were happening inside of him. Something curled, spread warmth, but something else screamed in alarm.
"Krad?"
The gentle voice drew him back and he looked into the deeply violet eyes of his counterpart.
"You... you brought me home?" the demon murmured.
"Yep."
"Why?"
Dark frowned. "You were hurt. I couldn't just leave you there! Don't tell me you expect me to do something like this!"
The last was uttered with a mixture of shock and pleading.
Had he expected it? Krad wasn't sure any more. As of late, his thoughts and emotions concerning the kaitou were different, mostly a jumbled mix of unrecognizable feelings. Their mutual silence and stubbornness had been painful already, but feeling this warmth when Dark touched him...
"Krad? You expected it?" Dark sounded shocked and reached out, but the demon pulled away.
"We weren't on the best of terms," he murmured.
"I'd never leave you alone in a situation like this!"
Golden eyes met violet ones and Krad shivered inside. The intensity of the gaze made him dizzy. His energy levels were close to nil, he needed to merge with his host, but something about the kaitou held him in place.
"Krad... what happened... I'm sorry. I truly am. I don't want us to lose what we have... You're so much more to me than..." Dark hesitated. "A friend?" he whispered.
More than a friend?
Krad felt that curl again.
"Of course," he murmured. "Your other half." He lowered his gaze. And why was that so disappointing when it was what he had always wanted? To be recognized as something more than a curse?
Dark smiled and placed a hand under the demon's chin, holding the face gently, smiling into the confused, golden eyes.
"D...Dark?" Krad asked.
The curl was back with a vengeance and he tried to make sense of it, but he blamed his weakness, his exhaustion, for it. He wasn't himself, all shields were down and Dark... maybe he was using that moment. For what, though? What would he gain?
And what if there was nothing to gain? What if there was just... this moment?
Strong fingers caressed his cheek, then the hand slid up, into his hair, holding his head securely but without restraining him.
"I don't want to lose you. Neither in here," he touched his head with his free hand, "nor here... in this world."
Krad felt his thoughts whirl. He couldn't deal with what was happening. He couldn't comprehend... "W... why?"
Dark smiled ruefully, suddenly unsure as well. "I... I'm not sure how to... Have you ever loved?" he asked softly.
Krad swallowed, trying to move away, but Dark wouldn't let him go.
"Have you?"
Had he? Truly loved? He had loved his first host. Unconditionally. It had been the softness, the strength of the human mind he had been bound to. He loved his current host. Satoshi was his everything, he belonged to Krad. No one would ever take him away if the demon had anything to say about it. It was possessiveness coupled with the positive emotions of belonging, of being accepted, of having something only to himself.
Dark's smile softened even more and his eyes took on a faraway expression. "It's an amazing feeling. Not just the affection of your host, the love he has for you, but the sheer pleasure of those emotions throughout the physical act."
A tremor raced through him and Krad fought more against the hold, panicking. "What do you want?" he demanded, voice rising.
Dark's expression didn't change, but his hand dropped away. Krad immediately missed it and cursed his weakness.
"I loved once. Truly and deeply, and it wasn't anything connected to my host. I fell in love with a human woman. Her name was Harada Rika."
Krad's face showed his surprise and the kaitou chuckled slightly.
"Risa and Riku's grandmother. I don't know why it happened. I just know that those feelings... they were eating me up inside. I went back to sleep with them, and though I never dreamed in between hosts, the memories and emotions stayed. She loved me back, Krad. But it was a love never meant to be. Like that of the men who unwillingly gave us life..."
Krad swallowed. "Why are you telling me this?" he whispered.
"I don't know. Maybe I want you to understand..." He stopped, then visibly braced himself. "Maybe I want to understand myself what it is that has changed between us. Something has changed, at least for me."
He moved closer, his lips a breath away from Krad's. Golden eyes opened wide and Krad tried to move away, but Dark simply touched the demon's lips with his own.
Krad gave a startled gasp, stiffening, but Dark wouldn't let him go. He slipped an arm around the slender waist and held on. Finally he moved his lips away, smiling tenderly at the stunned man.
"Why?" Krad stuttered, everything crashing down on him like a tidal wave. He felt control slip away.
Dark brushed a hand across the pale skin. "Because. Did it feel good?"
Krad swallowed. He finally nodded and Dark continued to caress his face, then placed a little kiss against his closed lips.
"Love can feel very good, Krad, if you let yourself experience it."
Krad's hands clawed into Dark's clothes, holding on.
"Stop," he whispered. "Please..."
Dark looked into the clouded, golden eyes. He flicked a strand of hair
out of the handsome face. Krad placed a hand against his chest, as if to
push him away, but he didn't. It just lay there, light and warm, and Dark
smiled more. In a fight Krad had been so self-assured, so powerful, so
invincible... but on an emotional level he was like a child. Everything
was new and wonderful for him. He had missed everything warm and affectionate.
The inhuman eyes closed and Dark felt the body in his arms grow more
limp. He cursed himself silently for not thinking of the fact that the
demon was close to a complete energy collapse. Placing a hand on his shoulder,
he transferred a miniscule amount of energy. Krad's eyes blinked open and
he gazed at him.
He looked so... innocent. So confused. So unlike the creature that
had tried to kill him over and over again.
And I fell for you, Dark thought, still amazed at his own boldness
in the last few minutes. He caressed the soft hair, smiling reassuringly,
though he felt no less unsure of what was happening as the other.
"You have to return to your host," he whispered, unable to stop himself
from planting a chaste kiss on the oh-so-delightful lips.
When had he started to think of Krad like that?
Maybe for much longer than he dared to admit.
He wanted to hold him, feel him close, be that close... and it was
a feeling that had developed for a while. Maybe it was that feeling that
had nearly destroyed the fledgling relationship, because he had been angry
and felt betrayed at Krad's actions.
"Will you give me a chance?" he whispered.
Krad smiled a little. "You asked that before. And back then I already
agreed."
"Things have changed."
Golden eyes held deep violet ones. "Yes, they have and... I think I'd
like to give you a chance."
Dark felt a brilliant smile blossom on his lips. "Thank you," he replied,
kissing him again and this time there was a little response.
He looked into the golden eyes, saw them darken with something Krad
probably didn't understand himself. Then again, his own feelings were a
jumbled mess and he was hard pressed to rationalize what he was doing.
Slender fingers reached up and touched Dark's lips. His eyes widened and
he held completely still, feeling goosebumps rise on his arms as those
sensitive lips were caressed by equally sensitive finger tips. Krad looked
fascinated, contemplative, and bemused.
"You are a mystery to me," the demon murmured.
He smiled a little. "How about we discover that mystery together?"
What the hell was he suggesting? Where was he going? Where did he want
to go? Dark had no idea. This was as new to him as to Krad. He had loved
before, had felt this emotion before, but now... now was the first time
he had been able to physically really express it. Sure, he had kissed girls
before. Like Riku and Risa, like so many in the past three hundred years.
But it had been more of a game.
This wasn't.
This was more.
Krad gave him a smile and Dark felt warmth spread through him.
"I'll see if Satoshi's up, okay? I don't want you to get worse..."
Krad just nodded and dark reluctantly detached himself from the demon.
They looked at each other for a moment, then Dark shot him a smile and
left.
Krad sank back into the pillows, tremors run through him. He closed
his eyes, exhaustion coursing through his system.
What was happening to him? Why was it happening to him?
What did Dark want?
Why?
'I don't want to lose you.'
Krad clenched his hands into the sheets. The words echoed in his head.
I don't want to lose you either.
He stopped at that, eyes widening. It was a true feeling, one from
the bottom of his heart. He didn't want to lose Dark, didn't want to be
alone. Because even with Satoshi, there was a last sliver of loneliness
only one person could fill.
'Have you ever loved?'
No, never. Not really. Not like Dark had. Not like he implied he...
Krad stopped that train of thought.
The door opened and Satoshi entered the bedroom. He looked tired, but
there was a smile on his lips, and when he sat down on the mattress, silently
looking at his demon, Krad felt the yearning again. Yearning for his host.
A gentle touch against his forearm initiated the merge and he gratefully
returned to the one person he could never be without. He curled up, sank
deeper into the safety of Satoshi's mind, giving in to his exhaustion and
need to recharge. Satoshi was a warm presence around him, covering him,
holding him, embracing him.
--Welcome home-- his Tamer just whispered.
He smiled tiredly, then slipped off into a deep sleep.
Satoshi felt better than in days. Still worried, but physically fine.
His cold was receding with the antibiotics battling the tiny invaders,
and he was no longer feeling like a limp noodle all the time. Krad was
a solid, reassuring weight in his mind, sleeping a lot, healing. That he
slept was a sign all on its own how bad the demon had been off. Even today,
after close to a year, Krad rarely really slept. He dozed off, he fell
into a regenerative state, but deep sleep was rare. It wasn't just a matter
of trust, Satoshi suspected. It was also the possibility of dreams. Sometimes
he felt the ripples of dreams, but Krad never shared. He just closed himself
off.
Currently, he was rather open, despite his exhausted and weak state.
Satoshi approached him, gazing at the curled up form, and he smiled gently.
Settling down beside him, he made himself comfortable.
It didn't take long for Krad to register his presence. Golden eyes
opened and met blue ones, not the least bit surprised or alarmed.
"Hey," Satoshi greeted him softly.
He sat up, drawing his wings around him. Unlike outside, inside the
mind realm Krad still had them out.
"Better?" he inquired.
Krad smiled slightly. "Getting there. Thank you."
He didn't need to ask for what. Satoshi had long since found out that
the host was a crucial part of the healing. If he fought his symbiote,
the demon wouldn't heal or heal much slower. Satoshi had unconsciously
done so before, hurting the presence inside him even more, but not this
time. He gave Krad everything he needed, he protected him, and he would
protect him against whatever came.
"I didn't want this to happen," Satoshi said after a while.
"I didn't plan it either. It was an accident."
He smiled a little. "Yeah, well, Dark claims you're accident prone."
Krad looked away, eyes tightening a little.
"You two still aren't getting along?" Satoshi inquired.
"That's not it. We... talked."
Satoshi watched his partner, intrigued by the sudden change in moods.
He appeared hesitant, unsure.
"So... you made up?"
"In a way."
"But you still don't talk?"
A shrug.
Satoshi rolled his eyes. It was like pulling worms. This was the demon
who had terrorized him as a boy, who had tried to kill Daisuke and Dark.
In a fight, he was in his element. When it came to emotions, he was flailing
for help.
"Krad?"
Those alien eyes looked at him.
"You want to talk about it? I will listen, you know. I listen very
well."
A small smile tugged at his lips. "I know. Right now it's something
I've got to work through by myself before I can think about sharing."
"Okay."
Satoshi accepted it. He knew Krad would come to him. The trust was
there.
Silence reigned between them. A comfortable, friendly silence, until
Krad cleared his throat.
"Satoshi?"
"Hm?"
"Who cut my hair?"
The young man chuckled. "Dark."
Sandy eyebrows shot up. "Why?"
"Well, you were a mess when Dark brought you in. We tried to untangle
your hair, but it was impossible to do so. In the end, Dark just… cut it."
Krad frowned a little. "I see."
"Since your form's… actually energy… can't you grow it out again if
you don't like the shorter length?" Satoshi asked curiously.
"Actually I can."
"But…?" he probed.
"I think I can live with the changes." There was a fine smile on the
demon's lips.
Satoshi grinned. "Well, it's a change all right. Takes some getting
used to."
They continued to sit together, comfortable in each other's presence,
for a while until Satoshi noticed Daisuke's approach from the outside.
He reluctantly pulled back from the deep and intimate contact. Something
was happening to his demon. Something profound, and it had to do with Dark.
He just hoped it was for the better, not the worse.
