Chapter 35
The Road I'm On

Sirius visited Kim everyday for the rest of the week. She looked a lot better than she did on the night that he had taken her to the hospital wing and he didn't know why she was still in there. He never questioned her though, he knew that everything had a reason and he didn't need to know them all.

"Why won't you spend the holidays with me? I'll miss you so much." Sirius sighed as he lay on the bed next to her. It was the last day of term and the train back to Kings Cross Station would be leaving in a few hours.

"I have too much work to catch up on. I have NEWTs in a couple of weeks." Kim replied as she played with his hair.

"Well stay at school. You don't have to go home to do work. Stay at school, I can stay too. It's not like I really want to go home."

"It's your mother's birthday and you're too much of a distraction. How am I meant to study with you hanging around?" Kim said with a trivial laugh.

"My mother would prefer me not to come home. She hates me and I hate her. We're one big family of hate, you know. We're not happy unless we're glaring angrily at each other. God, I hate them. Even if you don't stay, I think I will." Sirius growled.

"I know you hate them, but family is important. Do you understand that?" Kim said sternly.

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by an angry yell from the matrons office.

"Sirius Black. I've told you a thousand times; the beds are for the sick, not for your comfort." Madame Murphy screamed shrilly.

"Believe me, this bed is giving me anything but comfort." He replied as he sat up. He turned to Kim. "I better go but I'll see you on the train."

He gave her a long kiss and left the room.

He had not seen his friends much in the past week. He could not talk to James, Remus, Lily or Ebony without thinking of the conversation he had overheard in the room of requirement. He had been spending most of his time with Kim in the Hospital wing or sleeping. He knew Kim was not evil or having an affair. He knew in his heart that she would never do anything wrong, but only when he was with her. When he was away from her, his mind wandered and questions forced themselves to be asked.

Why does she still talk to Lucius Malfoy? He's evil, isn't he?

Why does she act odd when I talk about the past? Or the future? It's like right now is the only thing important to her and she refuses to change her ways.

Why can't she tell me her secrets? She knows mine. Why am I asking these questions when I know she's innocent?

That night he boarded the train with his friends and Kim was as happy as ever. She was smiling and laughing and talking like the Kim he knew and loved, but Sirius was worried. The others were acting suspiciously, giving each other strange looks when Kim wasn't looking or asking her questions about why she was in the Hospital wing for so long and was apparently fine. Kim answered the questions as if she didn't notice the peculiarity of it all, but Sirius watched sourly and atypically silent. He hated the mistrust and the uncertainty. He wanted everything to be normal and his life to be as carefree and fun-filled as it was before…before he met Kim, but he didn't want to lose Kim. He loved her too much to give her up, even if that meant changing his ways and thinking seriously about something. He wanted to be with Kim, even if it meant giving up mischief and looking to the future. Even if it meant getting a job and settling down. He was willing to sacrifice it all, all of his carefree selfish happiness for true happiness.

When the others had given up on their interrogation, Ebony and Remus excused themselves and moved to a more private compartment at the end of the train, one with a lock. Sirius looked at James and Lily's nervous looks and sighed.

"I think they had the right idea." He took Kim's hand and pulled her from the compartment and down the corridor. When they found an empty section, Sirius closed the door and pulled down the privacy curtain. He turned to Kim to apologise for his friends' behaviours, but she had broken out in silent tears. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and leant his chin on her head.

"I'm sorry about them. They're idiots. They don't know you like I do." Sirius said apologetically, although Kim's silent tears had now become painful sobs. He could feel her tears soak through his shirt. The train lurched and the two lost their balance, falling to the ground. Sirius moved to get back up, but Kim did not seem to want to move and they stayed in each other's clutches. Her weeping continued for the rest of the journey. When a magically magnified voice announced the arrival at platform nine and three quarters, Kim sat up and tried to hold back her tears. Sirius reached out and held her head in his hands.

"Cry. Let it all out." He hushed.

Kim shook her head and gulped. "I-I can't. We ha-have to g-go. Oh Merlin, I ca-can't g-go out th-there looking like thi-is." She sobbed.

"You look beautiful." Sirius lied as he wiped her tears with his already tear-stained shirt. He held his sleeve to her nose. "Do you want to blow?"

Kim gave a small laugh and pulled herself into his embrace again, breathing deeply. "Give me my wand. I'll charm my way out of this one."

"Well I'm supposed to be the charming one, but go ahead." Sirius said as he passed her wand. "But listen, the others didn't mean what they said. They're just…they don't understand."

"Neither do you." Kim said, now looking like she had never shed a tear in her life. "Why do you stay with me when I keep so much from you?"

"Because I love you." Sirius leant towards Kim to give her a final kiss, but was interrupted by the compartment door opening.

"There you are. We're all waiting for you. Hurry up." It was Regulus, looking mildly irritated.

Sirius watched his brother's retreating back and turned back to Kim. "I should go or I'll be left here." He stood up and was about to leave, but paused, bent down and kissed Kim before leaving. "I love you."


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